Free Help for Porn Addiction
I used to think that watching porn was a harmless and healthy activity.
My name is Alex and I am a recovering porn addict. I was raised in a regular home with two normal parents. Like many teenage boys I started watching pornography when I was around 10 years old. I was very isolated from other kids and for a large part of my life pornography was my only “true friend”. I didn’t know that porn could have a negative effect and viewed it as a healthy way to have fun and deal with my emotions.
My Pornography Use Continued to Escalate
Over the years, my use of pornography continued to escalate. I thought that I will be able to stop once I get into a relationship with a real woman but realized that it was not the case. High stresses of life, combined with anonymity, availability, and accessibility of porn over the high speed internet seemed to have taken my porn use completely out of control.
It went on until about three years ago. By that point my porn addiction was completely out of control. I would spend up to 8 hours every day watching porn and masturbating. In order to make time for my habit I would skip sleep, work, and even time with my family. I felt guilty, shameful, worthless, and hopeless.
I Swore to Do Whatever it Takes
After a while I simply couldn’t deny that I had a problem. I swore to myself that I would do whatever it takes to find a way out. To my surprise there was not a lot of help available for porn addiction. And the few places that did offer help, were asking for a large financial commitment that I was just not able to make. That is why I proceeded to try to find a way out on my own.
Finding Solution for Porn Addiction
I’ve dedicated my undivided attention towards finding a solution for my porn addiction. I’ve read every addiction book that I could get my hands on, until I finally found a technique called, Exposure and Response Prevention, that allowed me to see the first glimpses of light.
I then proceeded to read even more books, began seeing a therapist, purchased few recovery programs, and began attending a 12 step meeting for sex addiction. It has now been almost 2 years since I watched pornography or masturbated.
Combination of Different Methods Brings the Optimal Result
Through my experience in recovery, I noticed that many people were too fixated on one particular approach. Some people relied solely on group therapy, some on religious programs, some on cognitive therapy, and some on eastern philosophy. Yet in my experience a combination of different methods appeared to be bringing the optimal result. I’ve shared some of my ideas with my friends in recovery and received a very positive response. That is what encouraged me to develop this site.
I’ve summarized the most important information that allowed me to stop porn addiction in 23 short and fun to read articles – I call it the “Free Recovery Course”.
In the Free Recovery Course You Will Discover…
- A chemical process that takes place in your brain causing you to get addicted
- The addictive cycle that your body goes through and how to break out of it
- How the human brain works and why sometimes you lose control of your actions
- Four simple exercises to strengthen your brain
- How to create your sexual recovery plan
- How to control your cravings
- An important strategy to help you beat your addiction once and for all
- How your beliefs are causing you to suffer
- Seven beliefs that were keeping me trapped
- One big lesson that I learned from my relapse and what you can do to avoid my mistakes
- Two very important tools that can magnify your recovery
- Four things that you can do to help you stay sober for the rest of your life
Click Here for Free Recovery Course!
Frequently Asked Question:
What do I have to pay for this information?
All information is offered for free and nothing is expected from you in return!
This site is supported through members’ donations, advertising revenue and sales commissions. That being said nobody is going to try to sell you anything! This model was adopted because it allows to provide free help for porn addiction to anybody anywhere in the world, without having to charge an expensive monthly fee.
Does this information really work?
Every person is different. It has most definitely worked for me. Additionally you can read a a lot of positive comments throughout this website. Since we started offering a free recovery course in August of 2010 over four hundred people has signed up for email delivery, and over ten thousand people have read it over our site. We’ve received no complaints and have been thanked many times.
Why should I listen to you?
My only credentials is that I’ve been there. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. English is not my first language, and my educational background is in computer engineering.
That being said, most of the information that I share on this site did not come from me directly. Rather it is my collection and interpretation of different approaches and techniques that I learned from a large number of books and training courses offered by people who do have credentials. I like to believe that I did a very good job of putting it all together, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Why should I read your stuff?
Because it would allow you to learn from my mistakes instead of making your own. Note that you don’t have to be addicted to pornography to benefit from this site. Most of the information provided is common sense, day to day psychology that will allow you to better understand the inner workings of the human mind, and allow you to get a greater control of your life.
Since this site presents information from a variety of different approaches you would be more likely to find something new and effective that could turn your life towards new direction and allow you to enjoy a new level of freedom.
This information is provided at no additional cost. You virtually have nothing to lose (except for a few minutes of your time) but you have a world to gain.
Last but not least, because by reading this information, commenting on this site, and participating in the forum, you would not only help yourself, but you will also help others. A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. And by giving a little bit of your attention towards this site you can make this world a little better. You’ll see that by learning and applying some of the techniques discussed here, you’ll begin to transform your life! And you will be amazed to discover that your transformation will begin to improve the lives of those around you!
Click Here for Free Recovery Course!
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I am also a subscriber on youtube. Just looking for all the help I can get. I listened to the video and knew those feelings myself. I am glad there are people out there who understand.
If you are interested you can read 6 more user comments here.
Pornography is the biggest industry in America with adults and adolescents alike as constant consumers (bigger than the food industry). It's a relief that there are people who offers pornography addiction help.
Thank you !
I can't say how grateful I am for the information I have found here.
This is a problem I have had for many years now,and I have just had enough of the time-wasting, the guilt and the lost opportunities. The longest I have ever managed to stay sober was 3 months. I thought I had broken the chains of addiction, but man does it hurt to find yourself in relapse !!!
I promised myself to break free in 2011, and this material just might be the help I need.
I admire the courage and the hard work you have put in to beat your own addiction, and also what you are doing to share all this material on the net, because you certainly didn't need to.
Thank you again and I wish you all the best !
yeah but i am sure u still watch it a little
cause you might miss spell something and you came
across it again so don’t tell me you stopped watched
porn stop telling lies in my head this
hour of the night for me please.
Well, if you are asking do I come across pornographic material here and there, yes I do. It happens probably once a month. Sometimes more often, sometimes less often. But in the worst cases I spend 1-5. Sometime I come across this stuff intentionally, which I consider a slip, sometimes unintentionally, which I do not consider a slip. But in the past year or so, I think my over all exposure to pornography was less than 1 minute total. Which is much much much better than 6-8 hours per day that I used to spend on this kind of activity.
So not, my recovery is not perfect, far from it. But I did make a lot of progress.
i admire the honesty in this organization. i think i have understood the prevention, but perhaps i need a help from the outside. is there any specific technique to really overcome the craving without repressing it like it would just stay in my mind and when i find a moment the emotion will burst. it becomes difficult.
Did you get a chance to look at this post? How to stop porn addiction and our Free Recovery Course. I believe there you can find a few helpful techniques.
Thanks. Think I’ll join your (may I say with good intent) wolf-pack. Shev 17.01.12 Ukraine
I don’t like it cause its not real life. I m in relationship happy one too but that’s not how sex works in a relationship. It leads to bigger things too
I'm a 15 year old girl.and no matter how hard I try I just can't stop.sometimes it makes me question my sexuality and am I nasty person.do u knw any hotlines that are avaliable so I can talk it out plzz help!
Please check out this link for anonymous hotlines: http://www.pamf.org/teen/hotlines.html#sexuality
me too! i’m 15 and addicted…. i can’t stop myself. but i’m seeking help as of now.
I used to be in the exact same place. I hope you get this message! You can talk it out–I created this website just for that purpose, you can email me at femalepornaddicts@gmail.com
Please check out the website, you’re not alone!!
http://www.femalepornaddicts.wordpress.com
-an EX-femalepornaddict
I used to think I was the only person who struggled with this, but after reading this site, I see there are a lot. I've been sober for over a year, and alot was to help from the candeo program and some of the tools I learned at curethecraving . com It really helps to look at the chemicals in the brain that are involved. I used to really put myself down when I had cravings to look, but after I learned that my brain craves certain chemicals, and there are other ways to get these- besides porn, then I just saw it as a signal from my body that I must need to get things back in balance. I think the biggest change was when I decided I had to stop fantasizing about things. That was a tough habit to break! But I just did it one day at a time. When I found myself fantasizing, I would try and focus on something else. Anything else- like the paint on the wall, or the stitching in my clothes. really try to notice details I hadn't seen before. And this got my brain thinking of something else, and before I knew it, I forgot I was avoiding a fantasy. My cravings went way down after that. Thanks for putting up this site. John
Thank you for your time and effort in putting this course together. I have buried my head in the sand over the last few years with regards to my addiction. It was great to hear from someone so open and honest who is controlling their addiction and living life to the full. I really appreciate your help. I am now able to study more effectively, have a better relationship, feel better about myself and seem to have started to escape the vicious cycle I got myself into.
(I am a girl btw)thank you so much for the help…I felt before reading this that i was one of the only people in this addiction. I know it sounds odd for a female to masturbate and watch this stuff but we do. sadly for me I took mine to far. at first i only watched it sometimes but after awhile i was looking it up almost everyday and masturbating alot. but now i only do it every now and then(because it is perfectly healthy to do it, but not alot) so thanks for the help ^^
Its a problem cause I can’t just be like ok to my gf let’s go. Guy btw. She watches a little I can’t even go to bed without it.
If you ever want to talk to another girl about what you are going through email me.
femalepornaddicts@gmail.com
I started this site for addicts seeking help, it may be now and then now but you never know what will happen with something addictive like this.
http://www.femalepornaddicts.wordpress.com
-an EX-femalepornaddict
It is hard to imagine that I have slipped into what I once thought was a bad habit of constant pornography use. I tried to keep thinking that it was a bad habit because it was easier to think this that to acknowledge that I was hostage to an addiction which was eating everything around me. Relationships withered, work performance faltered and ultimately my marriage died all while I watched pornography on the internet and coupled it with internet chatting. I have never been able to completely shake myself from porn addiction; it has always been with me just under the surface. I am committed to eliminating the use of pornography and I earnestly desire to live in reality where I am getting better (though it hurts) rather than an imagined world where I am dying (though I am sedated).
You know that this course will not cure you; though it will surely inform you of your own nature, the addiction (the enemy if you will) and weapons which can be used to fight off the enemy.
Most importantly; this brief course will prepare you for further work; both professional/ group work and your own private, personal acceptance of the reality of addiction, the responsibility to take control, and the courage to take the next step. God Bless, Good Luck, Perhaps we shall see one another one day. Thanks Alex.
Help me a lot in my recovery plan to quit porn, Thanks Alex
My husband has been looking at porn for many years and denies it. Any chance he gets on the computer he is searching for porn. I am to the point of no return. He thinks I don’t know about his habit, but I do.
Anyway, if I try to sit and talk to him he will deny it. So I will not be home Wednesday evening and I know he will turn on the computer immediately to start his porn search.
I have created a letter of how I feel about this porn habit for him to read in html. Once he opens the browser – the letter will be the first thing he sees before his search.
I am scared and nervous – yet any chance he gets he is always searching for porn even when I am in the room. He is really good at minimizing the screen. We have been married for 24 years and I can’t take it anymore – I am so ready to leave this life even though I love him.
My question – should I give him my “web” letter – should I tell him I can’t deal with his habit face to face or should I go get help.
Thank you.
I think you should get help first, if it is available to you. Just because what you are going through is such a difficult and emotional issue that you will need all the help you can get. After that you will need to address your husband, but perhaps your therapist would help you to work out a strategy to do that. If you end up not getting a therapist, please make sure to come back here or our forum, and we will try to give you as much support as we can.
Sorry to hear about your struggles. I wish we lived in a better place.
Alex
Thank you – I think I will go get help for me. There is so much more that I did not put on here. I will keep you posted.
Are you a christian? I would recommend you start praying over this. It is God who created that man and you too. And he gave you that marriage. Believe me, he can perfect that marriage for you. Leaving your man will not help but escalate his problem. Sometimes when he is searching for porn you also go there and try to read the word of God (Bible) loudly especially from the Psalms or Gospels talking about Jesus healing People. Take care.
Francis kafula.
HE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND HOW IT HURTS YOU.
Man, this really scares me? What if my wife knows and is thinking of leaving me. Please tell him before you do anything. Even if he denies it, he will get the message. Face to face would be best, but if you can’t do that then leave the message. Give him a chance.
Hi Alex, there are “Distracting” or “Dirty” ads coming up on your site which I don’t think should belong on a site for the patients recovering from addiction problems. Please take a step ahead a remove such ads from your Website.Thank You.
Thank you for pointing this out. If this will continue to happen I will consider removing adsense from this site completely.
Alex
I am so happy to get a positive reply in so short time. Really good Alex. Keep it up !
The problem is that whatever you search for most is what will come up with these new smart ad sites. Its up to us what is there, because its what we are searching.
i just finished musterbeting and after that i realised that what am doing is not right.i started because my friends said it was fun fun but now i just cant stop.can someone help plz
You sound like you are a young man. Experimentation with masturbation is a normal part of growing up. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If, however, you do find that it starts to interfere with your normal life (staying up really late, spending many hours looking for sexual material etc) make sure to find an adult you can trust and talk to them.
Hey am a boy who started watching porn at the age of 13 years I was like whenever at home am alone I try to watch Porn and masturbate as my religion is strictly against thi and I hey a girl online due to her I stopped waching porn and now after 2 months I feel like watching madly but I go to google and stop my self am afraid that i’ll end up watching it some way and i will lose my girl friend plz help
What you are describing does not at all sound like an addiction, but rather a healthy desire that is normal for a young boy like yourself. I would advise you to talk to an adult male that you can trust about it. What you are feeling is healthy, and not something to be ashamed of.
Hey my name is luke and I feel as if I have a pork addiction. It is consuming my whole life. Even at work I eel urges to go online and find girls so chat with sexually. I watch porn almost everyday and find it impossible to stop. I am 22 years old and have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful girlfriend. But all of it is slipping away becuz I can’t control myself. I signed up for ur online course and want to make it my way out. My girlfriend is givin me one more chance to get it together. I don’t want to loose what I have. I’ve never has n e thing better. Please help me. My life az I kno it depends on it.
Luke, you are already doing the right step. I believe you will found everything that you need in our porn addiction recovery course. I would also recommend signing up for our porn addiction forum for continuing support.
Please do stay active, and I am always only email away.
Alex
Pork addiction is entirely normal, just make sure its cooked properly.
why after doing masterbation somebody twinkle in the skin
Alex, thank you so very much for all that you do. I truly felt dirty and ashamed for masterbating; especially “afterwards.” I am relieved to know that I am not a freak and that I am not alone.
Hie i m a 17 boy and i livevin hostel away from parents i had got a phn dat can surf net nd from last two days I have been continusly surfing for nide pics and nw I am feling like I cnt stop myself plz help
Only you can stop yourself. It is not you making you watch porn but the devil in your mind that is telling you to do it. It is a matter of believing in yourself, that you are entirely normal, but to achieve that you need to stop fantasising about people in an unreal world. Stop it now, or you’ll destroy your whole future.
Hi. I have been looking at porn/masturbating in various forms for about eleven years now. I am a believer in and practicer of a religion that strictly forbids both masturbation and indulgance in pornography of any kind. I feel that i am a smart guy and have a lot of self control. About4 years ago My addiction started getting worse. I went from looking at porn once every month or so to going to strip clubs, spending money I didn’t have and my terms of “sobriety” got shorter and shorter. When I came across this site I was feeling lucky if I could be clean for a week straight. I subscribed to the email course and didn’t follow it as exactly as I should. But I did put together a customized ERP course for myself and did it almost every day. On my first attempt at implementing just the ERP section in my life I was able to go 6 weeks 6 days without a relapse. That is the best success I have had in years and in spite of my relapse has given me a huge boost of confidence that I not only can but will in fact reach a sustainable level of sobriety in the not too distant future. I relies nobody (not even myself) gets everything right on the first try and I know I could implement some things better, such as setting up a regular morning routien to better take care of myself. I highly recommend this course to anyone who feels the need to quit an addiction. Good luck.
Hey Alex, you are a champion keep up the hard work and thank you.
Hi. what address can i use to email management to get my account activated. thank you
Its feedrightwolf@gmail.com . You can also find it by clicking on the envelope icon at the top of this screen.
Thanks,
Alex
Hi. I’m female, 17 years old. I know that what I’m doing (watching porn) is not right. Yet, I still continue to indulge myself in it. I feel so dirty … so guilty… so shameful… I don’t have the courage to tell my parents that I’m addicted to porn. I’m to afraid to tell them what’s happening inside me. I’ve got lot of secrets hidden that I wish to tell them, but I really can’t find the courage… Now, I’m here. Trying to ask for your help regarding this compulsion I’m in to. I hope to get a reply from the admin of this org very soon.
Lots of hope,
Ron.
Hi Ron,
The best advice I can give you is to find courage and talk to your parents about what you’ve been going through. It is not your fault, but you do need help. No one can overcome this addiction alone, and due to your young age your parents will be in the best position to help you.
I know that is not probably what you wanted to hear, but this is what I believe is the best for you.
Alex
I’m too afraid to tell them.
I really don’t know what to do.
Is there other option aside from telling my parents?
Ron you need to find a compassionate person to tell, to take it out of secret mode. being a secret gives the porn addiction power. Lots and Lots of power, and you give that power over to the addiction by not telling.
Yes there is another option. Sex Addicts Anonymous have phone meeting for women only. I would encourage you to get in touch with them and to talk to them about your experience. I can guarantee you that this will be a very supportive experience.
Open your heart to a person who is caring and mature. Your heart is your greatest asset
Just close your eyes and don’t think about it…and tell them I am your daughter and I have a porn addiction if you will not accept me because of this. then I am sorry for you. Ron you have a life and future ahead of you. These are just obstacles you can avoid them by facing them head on.
I have a boyfriend (of 9 years). I knew he looked at porn from time to time. I moved in with him two years ago. About 2 months ago I caught on to some heart breaking realities for me. I went through denial, then facing it, thought about leaving and never even telling him why. Now I’ve decided to stay for now, but only if this stops. So, now I’m trying to figure the best way to be supportive yet ensure I give him the best chance to suceed in overcoming this porn addiction. He fell asleep and I went to turn his computer off and found he had been on “Ashley Madison” and many porn sites. I was shocked. He is always home right after work. Never goes out with buddies. We’re always together except when he’s working. I expect at this point probably “ciber sex” and I guess masterbation and fantasy stuff. I guess I don’t fully understand. I’ve spent most of my time for the last few months with major anxiety attacts throughout every day. I look at him and can only look deep into his eyes. He goes in and out of a type of emotional detachment with me, in and out of ability to enjoy sex with me until I confront him with my displeasure in the status of the relationship and “what is goint on” and does he not want me then he does a 360 for a short time giving me all his attention only to draw away again. Two days ago we were talking and he said he believes in doing to others as he would want them to do unto him. Last night, he said I had a deep look in my eyes again and I said I have a lot on my mind and I need to know more about his statement he said the other night. I told him I NEEDED to know, HAVE to know, does he apply the “do unto others as he would want them to do unto him” to our relationship. I told him, could I trust him not to do anything in our relationship that he wouldn’t want me to do to him? He started getting defensive (which he is loud, stout, stern, and not easily approachable), but I stopped him and said I need to know this, it’s important to me to know I can trust you like this. He stopped and you should have seen the look in his eyes. DEEP. He was in seriously deep thought…I don’t think he even realized how long he thought and then he calmly answered yes babe you can. The rest of the night he gave me more attention than he had in a long time. He really gave me his all sexually that night. The best in years. Now, my question is should I talk to him and confront him or wait and see if he brings it under control himself. If a guy is able to do it themself he would be the type he is very strong willed doesn’t like to be told what to do. I don’t think he will like me talking to him about it but I think he needs the accountability and also needs the forwarning that I plan to leave if this don’t stop. I can’t live with this and won’t. He is a wonderfull man. I love him with all my heart and either way it is a no win situation for me. Any help would be great. I just need someone to talk to. I have been holding this inside with noone to go to. the axiety attacks are wild. Then I’ve turned to my own addiction…shopping to try to get my mind off of it and that is the only time it leaves my mind…what an answer. (I am spending my retirement fund and I am only 51 and will probably be single pretty soon after living with a man 9 years and wasting my life!
Thank you for sharing. First of all I wanted to say, please try to stay away from shopping or any other potentially harmful behavior as means of dealing with your pain.
Additionally, it does sound like your man has a good heart. I think it would be beneficial to tell him (may be more than once) how painful to you his pornography use is. If he will see what affect his behaviors are having on your relationships, he will be much more likely to realize that he might need to change a thing or two.
Also I wanted to invite you to our forum. We would be glad to have you there as our member and would try to provide all of the support that we can.
Alex
Hi! Long story ill try to make it short my bf is very addicted to porn. He will get it whenever possible and lie even though he knows he’s caught. We have eliminated everything from tv and internet to him not even having a phone with any kind of internet access. Because there was none of this he has now gone and bought magazines and whatever else. He will even spend money we dont have and he will take time out of work to do it and even be late coming home. I try to plead with him to just stay away from gas stations and places where he’d be tempted but I believe he’s still going and only throwing them away when he’s done so he never has the chance of being caught. It’s hard enough dealing with the fact that he does these things but then lies make it worse. We love eachother very much and we just found out I am 3 weeks pregnant. I want this to work but I do not wish to live a life of lies or to deal with the porn addiction as if its okay or like I will put up with it. I have left before and he begged me to come back and said he’d do anything it took. He has relapsed many times though and can only make it for about 3-5 weeks without doing it as far as he says if its not another lie and he’s really doing it all the time. There’s many times I’d know he was doing it every day and just didn’t say anything. I don’t know what to do when he tries to say that he thinks there’s nothing wrong with it or he says he can just recover on his own with no help. I’ve told him I will only stay if he OS genuinely trying and seeking help or ways to stop but he has done nothing. We have a baby on the way and I already have an 8 year old son from my former marriage. I don’t want to lose the family we have or the man I love.
Well the problem is that he does not see anything wrong with his behavior. And to be honest with you, if he is only watching pornography once every 3 to 5 weeks, I don’t think he qualifies as an out of control addict. That is not to say that you should be okay with his behavior, but I don’t think it qualifies as addiction either. To me addiction is when a person cannot go even a week without watching pornography or masturbating.
Personally, I believe there is nothing good at all that comes out of pornography, and I am striving to have it eliminated from my life completely. This however is more of a personal choice based on my system of believes. You can’t make your boyfriend make the same choice, it will have to come from within. But you can and you must continue expressing how much his pornography use hurts you. He will probably try to tell you that the problem is with you for over reacting. But I don’t think that you are over reacting. You, as a partner and mother of his future child, have every right to have your needs met, and you do not need to accept him participating in something that hurts you. Just like you wouldn’t do something if you knew it was hurting him.
It is a challenging situation and I would encourage you to get professional help.
Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it. He says he will quit for a few weeks but I believe he’s still doing it in between. Even if not… every time he relapses he will not pay bills and spend 2-3 hundred dollars on getting it off of his phone because he pays a pre paid phone or he will buy it somewhere else and this will be an every day thing until I say something and he knows he’s caught. He even says he cannot help himself. He knows it hurts me but we have been able to talk about it more openly. The only problem is that I fear he is still hiding it and only talking about it to reassure me he’s not so he can still get away with it. That’s the way it has gone every time. It’s hard to keep trying to be happy and wanting to be with him, only to be hurt again and feel as if my hopes and dreams of us having a life together feel shattered!
Well, what you are describing does sound like a problematic behavior. Since he seems to be not able to stop spending money on extensive pornography watching.
One thing that helped me in early stages to realize that I had a problem, was a book by Patrick Carnes called “Don’t Call it Love”. He also has other good books on the subject, especially “Out of the Shadows”. I would recommend you checking this book out. Most public libraries should have a copy.
Hello,
My husband is addicted to porn.. He promises he will stop over and over he knows how i feel and how badly it hurts and kills me but conts to lie to me i catch him all the time. We cant afford therapy around here its also 3 hours away, (and very highly priced). We have a child on the way im at the end of my rope i love him with all my heart but there is only so much i can take what can i do ? Please Help!!
hello,
it seems that now I am going thru what you went thru. So i was wondering how you manage to help your situation, if you did.
thank you.
hey alex. thanx 4 such a great site. I started masturbation at 10 or 11 idk. slightly before i turned 13, my youth group did a “Sex Ed”, and masturbation was mentioned. this was a huge shock to me, a addict of one/two years. although i never told my parents, i found stregnth in GOD my savior. and quit. now, i’m about to turn 14. except for a recent relapse (thats why i found this site) i have stayed clean. i hope my testemony shows other people that they can quit. and to think, all i had was my God, my bible, and my faith. i encourage others who struggle, to consider faith in God. thats all it took for me. what about you?
oh, and the info on this sight helped me with the relapse.
Anonymous
i am an inteligent young man of 20. it all really stated when i was 16, i do hate it bcos it doesn t support my believe. sometimes for over 3 month i may not watch porn or fantaciz i do want to stop dis but my inability 2 tel som1 has being my major setbak, i do hav a promsing future but fantacizin has began 2 afet me alrdy n i NEED to atain my DREAMS. Plz i need help
I think if you can go for 3 month without watching porn, you are already in a much better shape than most people.
Just continue to work on yourself. Read through this course, and other recommended materials. And try to continue to learn and improve as you go. You might consider signing up for our forum http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/forum/ to help you keep track of your progress.
Hi,
I have just come through 18 months of marriage counselling due to my husbands porn addiction. It got so out of control for him that he was actually emailing ammature web cam women and telling them how beautiful they were etc, basically trying to pick them up.
It hurt alot when I found the emails because he had always told me he had a “very low sex drive” and he also swore he wasnt contacting anyone and i later found out that was a lie too.
I wasnt aware of his problem until our daughter was 11 months old.
I thought the marriage counselling was helping but found out the other day that he was still doing it. He picks out particular ones he likes and then downloads all he can on that person filing them in their own little folder.
I have asked him why he is doing it again (and has been the whole 18 months we have been attending counselling for it) and he either says “its a compulsion” or he indicates that i am being stupid because he isnt contacting them and trying to form emotional connections with them anymore. “its just like watching any other movie” ” get over it”.
We have no intimate relationship whatsoever anymore – he isnt interested and if he is it is rushed and then he if fine to go another few months.
I just dont know what to do anymore.
I feel like leaving, because it feels like the lies are just never going to end.
It seems like such a stupid thing to destroy a family and children over ..
would really appreciate any advice ….
Hi Sar,
I am sorry to hear about your situation.
I understand men being in denial, but not after 18 months of therapy. If he continue to look at other women on webcam, while not giving you deserved attention, I would recommend giving him an ultimatum on choosing between you or his addiction. If he will choose his addiction, it might be best for you to re-build your life without him.
I know these is not a happy advice, but no bad news get better over time. If he is not willing to change, the sooner you will leave him the sooner you will be able to begin to re-build your life.
Hi there, thanks a bunch. The info I have gotten from this site has been very useful.ts good to have role models to look up to.
I wouldn’t call myself a role model at all, but thank you never the less
I just want to say thank you because this website has helped me fight the battle inside me. I have tried to quit for two years but for some reason i just couldnt do it but now that i have became mentally and spiritually stronger i dont think ill ever go back
I’m 13 years old and i want to stop porn addiction and it is really hard can anyone help me please because its going to ruin my life please help?!
Hi Kevin,
I know how you feel. Puberty is a very challenging time and that is when most people first experience just how powerful our sexuality can be. Whatever it is you are going through I want you to know that it is completely normal. It is what you will grow up to be that really matters, not what you do now. As much as I want to help, I think you really need a live person there to help you and to guide you. Do not be afraid to talk to other adults about what you are going through. Is there a male in your life whom you can trust? Perhaps your father, uncle, or a teacher or counselor at school, religious leader?
You have taken the first step, you’ve visited this site. Now find the courage to reach out to others for help.
Best of all to you,
Alex
I’ve lost one marriage and on the brink of possibly loosing another. It is the worst thing ever to come into my life. Porn has robbed me again and again. My heart is the biggest problem and even though I’ve experienced a lot of inner healing with a lot of issues in life it hounds me down and I crumble. Again I am faced with suicide as my only option to eradicate it from my family but I know that is not the answer. If I could step out of my body and kick myself I would do it again and again. Now 40 and just very disappointed with myself. Will it ever end.
Help me God
I believe it can end, but you have to work for it. It is not easy nor does it come naturally.
I am an exhibitionist i was caught by my neighbour my father had to talk to them I have embarassed myself and them can you please help me
First of all, I wanted to say that exhibitionism is far more common than you might think. That being said it is an illegal activity. I don’t know if your neighbor will report you to law enforcements, but if he were you would end up with a sexual offender record.
The reason that I am saying this is to help you realize that your situation is very serious, and I would recommend you to pursue help as aggressively as possible. I would recommend you going into a 12 step program like Sex Addicts Anonymous as soon as possible, I would also encourage you to seek professional help from a licensed practitioner who understands sex addiction.
That being said, I don’t think that you are some kind of monster, you are not. You are confused individual and you’ve made a mistake. Most of people are not perfect, a lot have done things that are illegal, and this stage in your life will come to pass. Do make sure to get help though right now without waiting for things to get worse.
no there are not going to report to the law enforcements do not worry but where should i seek help
You can use this website to get help; most of the recovery techniques discussed here can apply to sex addiction outside of pornography addiction. As Alex said, though, probably the best place to get help is at an SAA meeting. Information can be found at saa-recovery.org.
Hello,
I need some help or advice for my husband and me. I strongly believe he has an issue with porn. It all started when I found out that he was watching porn behind my back. For example, he would get on the internet to check his fb or email, and whenever I would fall asleep, he would get into porn sites and be going to be really late.!! I confronted him and said he was going to stop. I thought he did because I wouldnt see anymore porn sites on the computer history. However, I recently found out that NOW he was watching porn EVERY DAY thru his ps3. Same thing…he would play his video game and whenever I would fall asleep, he would change it to porn sites WHILE I AM SLEEPING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM.!! I didnt say anything at first and once again I looked into the ps3 history and he has been watching porn every single day. I kinda wanted to understand him because I am currently pregnant and yes our sex life has changed. But I think it became an addiction when I saw it was an every day thing. Again, I talked him and told him how this “thing” of his is affecting me emotionally. He didnt say a word to me then. The same day I talked him AGAIN bout how I felt about watching porn, he went home and watched porn.! Like I told him, I see that his addiction is more important than my feelings or concern becasue he didnt care how I felt and decided to keep it on doing it. I told him that he needs to get help because I do believe its an addiction he has and if he wants to keep his family together because Im running out of patience. As soon as he got home yesterday, he talked to me and ask me to help him because he didnt want to lose his family. The thing is that I dont know how to help him. So therefore I was wondering if I can get some help/tips on how to help him. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this (:
Hi Anon and welcome,
It breaks my heart that you’ve had to come to this site, but that is unfortunate reality of our society. I’ve attempted to answer your questions in my post http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2010/04/my-husband-watches-porn-addicted-husband/ although it is a very complicated subject.
I want to re-enforce 3 points:
1. You cannot help him, he has to help himself.
2. You have every right to demand for him to change, or else to be gone.
3. Whatever he is going through is not your fault.
My prayers will be with you. Our recovery course might be a good place for your husband to start at, if he is ready to make the change.
Alex
thank you so much for your help and your articles are sure helpful. hopefully we can overcome this phase that he is going thru (:
I am sure you will, but it will probably not be a quick process and it will likely have it’s up and downs.
Will I actually feel more tired if I stop masturbating
Alex, I’ve read through the posts and i think am ready to stop. I have tried but all my efforts bore no fruits. Thank u so much for thz website, it has help me understand that am not alone in this. After masturbating thats when i realize that what i have done is wrong ,then i promise myself that thats gonna be the last time. But it goes on and on, after like 3 days i find myself again in the same cycle. After reading your replies to various posts n from your own testimony, i know i have to change. Thanks so much.
I can’t say enough good things about your course! I am a Christian so my comment will be in that regard. “Lust” is a sin! We are ENSLAVED by sin! YOU are helping us THINK …… helping us see there is a way out! You show us things we might not even realize on our own. THANK YOU so much!
Joh 8:34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.
Hey Dave. I respect your religious views, and you are right in having that an attitude to pornography.
But i would respectfully like to point out that for someone trying to get RID of a porn addiction, it is COUNTER-productive to wallow in “guilt” and “shame”. It makes the probability of getting hooked back to porn even greater, as the human brain loves to explore anything forbidden!
The best way is to forgive ourselves first. To accept we have a problem, and to take help of God, friends and family in developing the willpower to resist temptation.
Good luck
I sometimes feel like suicide over years of porn. It has wrecked so many relationships
Hey Alex,
may I just say thankyou for this site, I think I visited it a couple of years ago too. I want to beat this thing, so I will go through your materials and articles and also read the truth. If there’s any of the paid ones you can recommend also (Candeo, XXXchurch etc) that’d be great, if I pay the money I’ll be more likely to follow through. Cheers
Personally I’ve paid for Candeo myself in the beginning of my recovery. You can read more about it here. http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2010/08/candeo-can-overcoming-pornography-and/
I currently don’t have any experience with XXXchurch.
Trying to become member not sure what I am doing wrong.
Sorry for the confusion. What are you trying to register for? Our forum or comment area?
I like this website and I thank the foundators a lot.
thanks realy HELpfull
Hello everyone I need your advice. Do you think I should buy the Kindle Reader? I’m pondering of buying it for my family as a xmas surprise yet I would like to know your recommendations before I get it.
Is there something different better I can get by myself for a comparable price??
Thanks!
that’s great
oh and hello guys.
Happy Holidays!
[img]http://www.muitracker.com/r/images/happy-holidays.jpg[/img]
sir alex,after I’d learned about your recovery course I was realy happy and I was trying to do it.but after a while because I had alot of perdicments I couldn’t countinue it.now,after 3mounth I’m trying and trying it again,today after 2weeks l was hime alone and I tried to study but unfortunality I gave in.would it be ok if I asked for help ing me please.
it would make me happy if you answered me.and I want to make excuse for my writing. it could be strnge because I’m living far far away from your country and need your emargency help,sir.
Hi,
I am around but could be slow to response since I am very busy with my graduate school work. There is even more help from our members available on our forum http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/forum/. But feel free to contact me any time. You can find my email, at the top of the site, just click on the envelope icon.
Regards,
Alex
I couldn’t do anything please just tell me HOw I can kill myself,I cann’t stop it.please tell me how to End everything,please.I’m tired of this life.tell they way no body can understand I killed myself,you are the best friend in mylife because you tried to stop my addiction.
thank you for all of them
Be Strong!!!
Hi, I am able to stay sober from watching porn for only 3-4 weeks. I then return to same old watching porn. how can I maintain soberity?
Hi Ammar,
It is an ongoing process. It is very hard to try once and stop for every. Just try to take it little at a time. You went for 3 weeks once, try to repeat that again. Than may be try to go for 4 weeks, than for 5 weeks and so forth. Once you’ll be able to go for 3 months without acting out, it will become much easier.
Alex, thank you so much for sharing your story and wisdom about this addiction. Thanks to your help, I was able to walk away from porn for the first time in my life after being addicted for 6 years. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and wish you the best of luck on your road to recovery. God bless you.
Hi there! Am glad to hve found this helpful site! Hoping can help me out! I’m 28 year old and am trying to be a Christian person, it all started when I was 10 year-old when I had intercourse with the pornography;in the beginning it was fun and joyful, I used to masturbate almost every day bt I started to be lonley at school and bein afraid to flirt to any girls then and I jst continue to grew up and at age 17 I had jst fed up of all this vicious cicle! And I started to cut it of by my self 4 several years with no being sober. 3 years ago I reach the point of suicide cuz I read bible and am try to going church bt always I see my self defeated, now I don’t doit dialy bt when I fall again I spend almost a week day and night whatchig porn and masturbating all day! I’m so scared! Cuz I think I tryed all I can try!!! I’m lack in feith! Thinking suicide is the only option cuz is the only way of no offend god! I recognised tht god has helped me a lot!- — I never seen a psychiatric and belive! I jst had 1 girfrend in my life, and I’m very depressed now tht it hurtsme till bones! What I do??? I knw my story is unbelievable bt is TRUE! I’m fraid to date a woman cuz I coudlnt get satisfied her! I had many many thinks to say I’m fraid off, many believings, please repply back!!! Sorry if I don’t write enough! Am still leering 2nd lenguage; god bless you!! And bless this site!
I’m a vitilligo person since 17, am very depressed
Thank you for all your help you give! Someday I will do a good donation to this website!
Alex. Thanks a lot. This is amazing page. I have also problem with pornography like many others. Actually I’ve been once at your page like year ago and start my recovery program and it went really really well. But from time to time I still have some downs. So I decided to become part of this “project” (if i can call it like that) and be more active and helpful for others. Keep doing a good job my friend
The thing I don’t understand is how I can keep watching even though I am not having physical arousal. It’s like it is mostly a need for my brain. It’s like watching is more important than actual sex. I’ve quit tobacco, drinking and drugs but I’ve never been able to quit porn longer than a month.
The physical dependency is in your brain. You may not be experiencing genital arousal but your brain is still rapidly firing. It is this neurological response that is responsible for the addiction.
Most likely the lack of physical arousal is a result of your addiction. You abuse something long enough and the effects you begin to experience are much greater than simply needing escalated material.
Good luck in your journey; the longer you wait to begin tackling this problem, the more symptoms such as this you will suffer through.
Hi Alex, I was wondering what healthy activities should we do after the ERP? Should it lower our pulse or higher it? Could you give me exampes
I think anything that gets your mind of addictive stuff will work, I made a list of things that work for me here: http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2009/08/67-healthy-and-funthings-to-do-in-your/
im using World of Warcraft to break my addiction but now im Addicted to WoW:(
Most addicts jump from one addiction to another. (Even most non-addicts have something they are currently preoccupied with above all else..)
I think the key is to acknowledge this trait about yourself and to stay aware of addictive tendencies when they begin arising then refocus it on things you find positive in your life. Sort of channeling that addictive focus into areas of your life you would like to give more energy to.
Hi…. i am a porn addict since 5years.Now,i realize tht this addiction is going to spoil my future.i am unable to do wat i want.its increasing day by day.please help me
Please read through our free recovery course, I think you’ll find it helpful. http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/porn-addiction-recovery-course/
this was sure helpful.Thank you. i haveve been able to control it for about 3 days. i am trying my best
I have stopped for 5 days and it is difficult. Has anyone tried just masturbating with no porn? Could this be one step towards recovery?
@abe3 – Ultimately, it depends on the person. For me, yes it is an aid and I can agree that this is one step towards recovery. I masturbate all the time with no porn. The problem is, it is NOT a solution. Porn will still slip in from time to time (in my case, about once a month, and then it can last for a few days). Which is why I’m here now…
hi… can i get some efficient tips so that i can try my 100% to give up or control this addiction.i am losing my life because of this addiction.help me
Have you seen this article yet? http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2010/05/how-to-stop-porn-addiction-stop-watching-porn/
Dear Alex really thanks for keeping such a user friendly website.I have been in this addiction for 4 fours and i am still not 18.I tried many ways to keep myself out of porn.But max. i would stay out of it for a week.I am hoping that this site would help me come out my situation.May GOD bless !!
hey Alex, yes i know online pornography is very devastating
is masturbation equally bad?
I am working towards a life without porn and this website has been helpful. I wish everyone luck that is really trying to “quit”. It is a process and I believe the information on this website is going to aid myself and others in their recovery. Thank you!
Currently 2 weeks into my recovery and have been able to manage any craving by working out or cleaning. I plan to use this blog as a way to support myself and others. If anyone would like to join me in giving daily or weekly updates on your recovery feel free.
Thanks this website helps.
Thank you. Viewing pornography is my long-time problem, I failed many times, but stood up and continued (and I’m still falling). I tried many methods, prayers and so, but your free recovery program is like water for the man in the desert… I also appreciate that it’s free, I can’t afford to pay horrible prices for courses or therapies.
By the way, where are you from? (as you wrote that English isn’t your first language)
I am from Belarus originally, thanks for asking
How do I contact you? I can’t find an email..
I just wanted to tell you your site is great and more sites like this need to exist!
Thank you, you can click on the envelope icon at the top of the site to contact me by email.
Alex,
Thank you for putting yourself out there like this for us to gain strength from!
May I personally take this opportunity to suggest to those who have a firm belief, and would like to incorporate Jesus Christ into their recovery. See if there is an LDS family resources Addiction Recovery Support Group in your area. It is a 12 step program similar to AA that has helped me more than I could ever say.
Can you guys tell me where you got such awesome porn?
Juvenile.
Get yourself back to Comedy 101, to be held back for the fifth time.
Please I want to stop my porn. I even have a weird website I might shut down. PS thx and fcrcftcftcrcrtcrtrtfrtftrdrdrdededrerxrxdrxdrrexdrxexrexrexrerxrxedrexrderedr
Hello All,
its nice to read all the articles on this website.I have tried some but in the end i succumb to my desire of watching porn.
The reason for this is i am 25 years old and i dont have a girlfriend in my life.Which makes me feel very frustrating to overcome this frustration i watch porn and masturbates.I proposed a girl at my workplace but she refused that made me even more addicted to porn. i want to quit this addiction and live a happy and healthy life.I do realize that simply having a girlfriend is not the objective of my life but i just cant overcome this feeling.Please help.
please tell me how can i contact anyone through mail or phone who can help me…plzzzz
please reply anyone please………. please
Visit the forum and you will likely receive many helpful replies! Plus the opportunity for growth, comfort and help with sobriety are just some of the many benefits found there.
http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/forum/
Thanks A lot… i thought nobody is going to relpy me
I thank you for putting up this site. I have struggled for years with this addiction, all my adult life really. I understand the triggers and the feelings that porn feeds on. I have them and they possess me and control me. I am going to try focusing on the breathing and feeding the right wolf. No question that the feelings on the light side make for a better life.
Hello Alex and everyone in this amazing life saving website,
First I like to mention that I was sevearly addicted to porn, up untill few months ago that I came to this website, I have been sobor for at least three months, the reason I dont know exactly how long is because I cant find the post that I put on this website the day that I masturbated 3 times and looked online for help and came across this absolotly life saving websie. after doing what alex tought me now I am completly sobor! just make sure follow tow main steps. First breathing and second your goals for why wanting to stop (very important) after seeing your poupose for it you can stop yourself and do some breathing and bring yourself back. life, sex, work, motivation, ambitoin, creativity, strenght, and everything else has been better, more, and amazing. Please Please stop and taste the real life PLEASE STOP
Alex,
have you deleted any posts? my post was my motivation and I cant find it
it was in 29th of some month sep or Aug I dont know. I hope you didnt delete it, I didnt have any bad or obsiene comments!
I find it doubtful that any post would be deleted (unless it contained spam, obscenities, abuse or triggering material. Did you post anything that someone else would find triggering? IE. Overly descriptive regarding your masturbation or pornography?)
Due to the high volume of content this website graciously provides, there are so many pages that I myself have gotten lost amongst them. Perhaps you did not post it on this main page, but instead on another one?
It might take some time, but if it is extremely important to you I would suggest surfing around all the FTRW pages. Perhaps you will find your comment posted elsewhere?
Good luck and I wish you strength in continuing your sobriety!
I come to this site. it seems unbelievable that so much information is given for free.
I am starting a journey to sobritity.
Thank you.
Thank you Alex
I addicted to sex at the age of 8,i make so many vows to overcome but i never…..let see…. I STARTED TODAY….
Hey i am 17 year old-
Its been a month that I haven’t watched online pornography.
I was able to – not to click on that pornographic stuff on the internet even while using my laptop esp. when I was alone. It feels great.
But I still haven’t been able to leave my habit of masturbation although I have been able to reduce its frequency(once per 3 or 4 days).
I just want to remove this biggest thorn from my life so that I can Live my Life to the fullest and study hard.
Kicking the thought of watching online pornography from my mind is not that tough now but I would like the fellow readers and especially Alex to give me advice on how to get rid of my habit of masturbation all at once.
Last of all I would like to thanks Alex for creating such a wonderful website to help others who are suffering from this problem.