Sex Addiction Help

Hello Dear Visitor

  • Do you struggle to control some part of your sexuality?
  • Find yourself wondering, why did I just do that again?
  • Feel that you constantly have to cover your tracks to avoid being caught?
  • Afraid of anybody learning about your secrets?
  • Wonder if there is a better way to live your life?

I struggled with all of the above and wrote a book where I outlined the things that helped me.

It’s Free and It’s Online

This is the book that I wish I had when I first realized that something was wrong in my life, and didn’t know where to turn for help.

Start Reading

Why Feed The Right Wolf?

The name for this site was inspired by an old Cherokee tale of Two Wolves.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Who Am I?

My name is Alex and I am a recovering sex addict. I have been in recovery since early 2008, and while my recovery is not perfect, I was able to abstain from watching pornography for over 99% of my time. Additionally, although I do not recommend this for single people, I have not masturbated since January 2009, CHOOSING my wife as the only source for my sexual experience.

I was raised in a regular home with two normal parents. Like many teenage boys I started watching pornography when I was around 10 years old. I was very isolated from other kids and for a large part of my life pornography was my only “true friend”. I didn’t know that pornography could have a negative effect and viewed it as a healthy way to have fun and deal with my emotions.

My Pornography Use Continued to Escalate

Over the years, my use of pornography continued to escalate. I thought I would be able to stop once I get into a relationship with a real woman but realized that it was not the case. High stresses of life, combined with anonymity, availability, and accessibility of pornography over the high-speed internet seemed to have taken my pornography use completely out of control. It went on until about three years ago. By that point my sex addiction was completely out of control. I would spend up to 8 hours every day watching pornography and masturbating. In order to make time for my habit I would skip sleep, work, and even time with my family. I felt guilty, shameful, worthless, and hopeless.

Finding a Solution for Sex Addiction

After a while I simply couldn’t deny that I had a problem. I swore to myself “I would do whatever it takes to find a way out”. I’ve dedicated my undivided attention towards finding a solution for my sex addiction. I’ve read every addiction book that I could get my hands on, until I finally found a technique called, Exposure and Response Prevention, that allowed me to see the first glimpses of light. I then proceeded to read even more books, began seeing a therapist, purchased a few recovery programs, and began attending a 12 step meeting for sex addiction.

Combination of Different Methods Brings the Optimal Result

Through my experience in recovery, I noticed that many people were too fixated on one particular approach. Some people relied solely on group therapy, some on religious programs, some on cognitive therapy, and some on eastern philosophy. Yet in my experience, a combination of different methods appeared to be bringing the ideal result. I’ve shared some of my ideas with my friends in recovery and received a very positive response. That is what encouraged me to develop this site. I’ve summarized the most important information that allowed me to stop sex addiction in 23 short and fun to read articles – I call it the “Free Recovery Course”.

In the Free Recovery Course You Will Discover…

  1. A chemical process that takes place in your brain causing you to get addicted
  2. The addictive cycle that your body goes through and how to break out of it
  3. How the human brain works and why sometimes you lose control of your actions
  4. Four simple exercises to strengthen your brain
  5. How to create your sexual recovery plan
  6. How to control your cravings
  7. An important strategy to help you beat your addiction once and for all
  8. How your beliefs are causing you to suffer
  9. Seven beliefs that were keeping me trapped
  10. One big lesson that I learned from my relapse and what you can do to avoid my mistakes
  11. Two very important tools that can magnify your recovery
  12. Four things that you CAN do to help you stay sober for the rest of your life

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Frequently Asked Question:

What do I have to pay for this information?

We offer a combination of free and paid services. This site was design to offer free help to any person struggling with sex addiction, and we are staying true to this mission. Over time however, increasing numbers of people have asked for more “hands on” and “personalized” help. That is why we decided to add a coaching element to our site.

Does this information really work?

Every person is different. It has most definitely worked for me. Additionally you can read a lot of positive comments throughout this website. Since we started offering a free recovery course in August of 2010 over four thousand people have signed up for email delivery, and over a hundred thousand people have read the Free Recovery Course on this website. We’ve received no complaints and have been thanked too many times to count.

Why should I listen to you?

Our coaches, are certified and experienced. They are professionals and great at what they do. My only credentials is that I’ve been there. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. English is not my first language, and my educational background is in computer engineering. That being said, most of the information that I share on this site did not come from me directly. Rather it is my collection and interpretation of different approaches and techniques that I learned from many books and training courses offered by people who do have credentials. I like to believe that I did a very good job of putting it all together, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Why should I read your stuff?

Because it would allow you to learn from my mistakes instead of making your own. Note that you don’t have to be addicted to sex to benefit from this site. Most of the information provided is common sense, day-to-day psychology that will allow you to better understand the inner workings of the human mind, and allow you to get a greater control of your life.

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Since this site presents information from a variety of approaches you would be more likely to find something new and effective that could turn your life towards new direction and allow you to enjoy a new level of freedom. This information provided at no additional cost. You have nothing to lose (except for a few minutes of your time) but you have the world to gain.

Last but not least, because by reading this information, commenting on this site, and participating in the forum, you would not only help yourself, but you will also help others. A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. And by giving a bit of your attention towards this site you can make this world a little better. You’ll see that by learning and applying some of the techniques discussed here, you’ll begin to transform your life! And you will be amazed to discover that your transformation will begin to improve the lives of those around you!

Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

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Comments

  1. says

    I was thoroughly impressed with the content provided in the free 30-day course. I learned many new ideas and concepts that I never knew before, and because of it I have been able to hit my first month of sobriety in a long time. Thank you again Alex!

  2. Anonymous says

    I am really happy that Mr Robinson reunited i and my lover back together. what an experience! Mr Robinson is a wonderful spell caster, he has made my life complete again by helping me cast a spell to return my lover and also make my lover to be faithful to me again. I was skeptical at first, but what a believer I am now, his spell really worked! my lover is now faithful to me, if you are also seeking for help to get your lover back? Call (+)1 9 7 1 5 1 2 6 7 4 5 or email robinsonbuckler

  3. Brandon R says

    This course has helped me more than any other method, for me motivation is the hardest part.
    During the times when I frankly just want to give up, music for me is a great re-motivator that brings strength, courage and empowerment. One song in particular is favorite of mine from Les Miserables.

    “Will you join in our crusade?
    Who will be strong and stand with me?
    Beyond the barricade
    Is there a world you long to see?
    Then join in the fight
    That will give you the right to be free!

    Do you hear the people sing?
    Singing a song of angry men?
    It is the music of a people
    Who will not be slaves again!
    When the beating of your heart
    Echoes the beating of the drums
    There is a life about to start
    When tomorrow comes!”

  4. TrappedAddict says

    I’m so close to losing my family my wife and my daughter need a man not a boy which is what I act like. I’d rather give more time to this filth than them. I’ve been consumed by this since I was in probably sixth or seventh grade when I got my first hardcore sex magazine given to me. I have tried quitting cold turkey or just masturbating to videos of my wife or to her pantys etc yeah I’m an addict and u guessed it she isn’t. I need help I watch porn all the time driving at home in bathrooms out and about etc. I’m tired of this I’m so close to divorcing my wife because I’m selfish and she won’t give me all the sex I need and want which isn’t fair and I don’t help clean or do a lot with my daughter because I’m the one who works she is a stay at home mom. This year has been horrible I have been caught flirting giving my phone number out and playing footsie and having bad intentions in my head towards a bunch of females bc of this fantasy world of porn I’m consumed by. I have not done anything physical but feel as though I have. I need help I want to defeat this I want my life back and only have my sexual urges taken care of by my wife bc I have broken her heart so much with promises broken after promises to stop with porn it makes her feel so worthless. And I have a hot amazing wife and when the chemistry is right our sex life is amazing but because I don’t get to go more than one time usually I’m right on the porn and masturbate a few hrs later or so. Pls help me before the worst thing possible happens to me and that is I lose my family. I’m a good person I suffer with this I am also diagnosed as having bipolar depression most I’ve gone is three weeks without porn then my mental disease kicks in I feel a low and porn helps release endorphins and I feel better. I’ve almost wrecked my car doing 60+mph masturbating to porn almost drove right in the back of several cars. And I’m so stuck on porn that I have read little articles and can watch it right after. I have a social worker who I talk to about these things through the VA. I am on medication etc my labido if u may is constant and my wife’s is not. A guy at work I worked with and talked to recommended this to me and I have been putting it off for months well today my wife and I are at the stage of ill always love you but we are barely in love. Pls any help or positive words and encouragement will help. And I don’t want to fight argue or have any drama I’m wrong she is right I have ruined our sex life not her she can’t compare to porn stars that can do all sexual acts and fulfill all my “dirty thoughts!” It took a lot out of me to post this I’m so serious no joke help me!!!!!

    • FTRW Coach Craig says

      Hello my friend. I encourage you to call if you are in the dire straits that you reference above.

      What is your plan to save your marriage? You need a plan. You must take action.

      I’m so glad you found this site and I hope it helps you save your relationships.

  5. Jennifer says

    Ok I have read through this whole first page without clicking on any of the extras. My husband whose name is also Alex has a porn addiction and has openly admitted so to me. He has asked for my help and I have tried everyway possible to help him but he ends up blowing up on me or shooting any idea I offer down. I have never had a preference to porn. To me if I want intimacy or just a (excuse my language) horny fix I just avert to jumping his bones when he lets me. If he doesn’t I don’t push it and go about doing things that need to be done. He has also admitted that he has only been half honest when it comes to admitting and opening up. He is now currently trying this new thing by posting videos on facebook of himself opening up and talking about everything emotions, addictions, hopes, dreams, disappointments ect. He calls it project cleanse me. Even by doing that he is still irritable with me at times and frustrated a good bit. It seems he is only intimate after a debate or arugument. And that doesn’t last but maybe a few hours then he is back to his grumpy irritable self. I have seen his good side I know he has it. I love him to death and am willing to help in anyway. Everyone else in his life has left him alone. I don’t want him to believe I am the same. Any advice?? For either of us. We have been married for 2yrs and I have been the one supporting the both of us and now three. We just had a baby girl in May. I don’t want to keep on draining my self when I have her to think about as well as my husband. I guess I’m asking for help because I fear I’m going to run out of fight in keeping us afloat and if that happened I would never forgive myself as well as blame myself.

    • Alex says

      I am not really sure what advice to give you. Recovery from pornography dependency is a long process, and it will probably get worse before it gets better.

      For your husband I would recommend looking into a 12 step program, such as Sex Addicts Anonymous.

      For you, you might find of women who deal with similar issues helpful, or may be not. Give it a shot.

      Also, congratulations on having your daughter. I will pray for both of you to stay strong for her.

      • Anonymous says

        SAA is a good program because one finds out that they are not alone with their problem. By sharing with other addicts it helps to control the compulsion to engage in porn and masturbation.

    • says

      Hi Jennifer, I’m only responding to your request for help because I was exactly like your husband. #1 you can’t help your husband. You can be supportive in his recovery but you can’t hear all his dirty secrets. #2 your husband can’t fix himself. His project cleanse me isn’t the solution (he can’t fix himself). #3 If he really wants help, he can go to a 12 step meeting for sex addiction (saa-recovery.org). #4 he needs to meet weekly or 2 times a month with a license therapist (to talk about his dirty secrets). #5 he has to have the willingness to do this for himself. He has to get honest & humble himself (by attending SAA, getting a sponsor there, and talking to a therapist about his addiction & his painful childhood issues. I know it’s difficult for you–seeing your husband–struggling with his addiction. But you have to take care of yourself & your daughter.

  6. makmax says

    Hi Alex,
    I am one who had won over this addiction .I was lazy in following your method so didnt getting expected result one day i got a new method to overcome the addiction
    my methods name is “thought diversion” I divert the xxx thoughts and urges to some funny,dangerous thoughts following are examples
    1-when i am alone at home i get urge to switch on pc i divert thought i doesnt know how to switch on pc , i will got shock from pc switch , what is por* i doesnt trigger situation but kill the thought before they become heavy on me
    2-if i get urge to masterbute i kill my thought like theres nothing in my panties or if i will do it then blood will come outside and i will die and win over urge
    please share this thought diversion method if you find it useful.your best suggestion was k9 web protection thanks for that
    one who followed you once

  7. says

    Alex invites you daily to go on a journey togther one that drives home the point of finding yourself again. The emails are quite valuble in self discovery, taking a hard look in the mirror, and yet non evasive or judgmental.

  8. Doug says

    This web site and more particularly the course was incredibly helpful. Alex has expressed himself in an open, honest, easy to understand way that allowed me to finally recognize that I do have an addiction. In addition he has explained in detail his journey and provided a blueprint that has enabled me to address and hopefully keep me on the right track. I would highly recommend this to anyone that wishes to change their lifestyle in a positive way.
    To Alex I wish to express a heartfelt THANK YOU!

  9. Christine says

    This course really helped me….thinking about what I wanna do in my life and were I think my life is going as well as how to steer it in the right direction. The free course is very useful because even after forgetting something I can always go back and remind myself by reading the exercises all over again. Recovery is a process, this course doesn’t mean that you will be alright after the first lesson but it surely is a start.
    Thankyou Alex for sharing your experiences and for being a positive change in the world. God bless you

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