Free Help for Porn Addiction
I used to think that watching porn was a harmless and healthy activity.
My name is Alex and I am a recovering porn addict. I was raised in a regular home with two normal parents. Like many teenage boys I started watching pornography when I was around 10 years old. I was very isolated from other kids and for a large part of my life pornography was my only “true friend”. I didn’t know that porn could have a negative effect and viewed it as a healthy way to have fun and deal with my emotions.
My Pornography Use Continued to Escalate
Over the years, my use of pornography continued to escalate. I thought that I will be able to stop once I get into a relationship with a real woman but realized that it was not the case. High stresses of life, combined with anonymity, availability, and accessibility of porn over the high speed internet seemed to have taken my porn use completely out of control.
It went on until about three years ago. By that point my porn addiction was completely out of control. I would spend up to 8 hours every day watching porn and masturbating. In order to make time for my habit I would skip sleep, work, and even time with my family. I felt guilty, shameful, worthless, and hopeless.
I Swore to Do Whatever it Takes
After a while I simply couldn’t deny that I had a problem. I swore to myself that I would do whatever it takes to find a way out. To my surprise there was not a lot of help available for porn addiction. And the few places that did offer help, were asking for a large financial commitment that I was just not able to make. That is why I proceeded to try to find a way out on my own.
Finding Solution for Porn Addiction
I’ve dedicated my undivided attention towards finding a solution for my porn addiction. I’ve read every addiction book that I could get my hands on, until I finally found a technique called, Exposure and Response Prevention, that allowed me to see the first glimpses of light.
I then proceeded to read even more books, began seeing a therapist, purchased few recovery programs, and began attending a 12 step meeting for sex addiction. It has now been almost 2 years since I watched pornography or masturbated.
Combination of Different Methods Brings the Optimal Result
Through my experience in recovery, I noticed that many people were too fixated on one particular approach. Some people relied solely on group therapy, some on religious programs, some on cognitive therapy, and some on eastern philosophy. Yet in my experience a combination of different methods appeared to be bringing the optimal result. I’ve shared some of my ideas with my friends in recovery and received a very positive response. That is what encouraged me to develop this site.
I’ve summarized the most important information that allowed me to stop porn addiction in 23 short and fun to read articles – I call it the “Free Recovery Course”.
In the Free Recovery Course You Will Discover…
- A chemical process that takes place in your brain causing you to get addicted
- The addictive cycle that your body goes through and how to break out of it
- How the human brain works and why sometimes you lose control of your actions
- Four simple exercises to strengthen your brain
- How to create your sexual recovery plan
- How to control your cravings
- An important strategy to help you beat your addiction once and for all
- How your beliefs are causing you to suffer
- Seven beliefs that were keeping me trapped
- One big lesson that I learned from my relapse and what you can do to avoid my mistakes
- Two very important tools that can magnify your recovery
- Four things that you can do to help you stay sober for the rest of your life
Click Here for Free Recovery Course!
Frequently Asked Question:
What do I have to pay for this information?
All information is offered for free and nothing is expected from you in return!
This site is supported through members’ donations, advertising revenue and sales commissions. That being said nobody is going to try to sell you anything! This model was adopted because it allows to provide free help for porn addiction to anybody anywhere in the world, without having to charge an expensive monthly fee.
Does this information really work?
Every person is different. It has most definitely worked for me. Additionally you can read a a lot of positive comments throughout this website. Since we started offering a free recovery course in August of 2010 over four hundred people has signed up for email delivery, and over ten thousand people have read it over our site. We’ve received no complaints and have been thanked many times.
Why should I listen to you?
My only credentials is that I’ve been there. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. English is not my first language, and my educational background is in computer engineering.
That being said, most of the information that I share on this site did not come from me directly. Rather it is my collection and interpretation of different approaches and techniques that I learned from a large number of books and training courses offered by people who do have credentials. I like to believe that I did a very good job of putting it all together, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Why should I read your stuff?
Because it would allow you to learn from my mistakes instead of making your own. Note that you don’t have to be addicted to pornography to benefit from this site. Most of the information provided is common sense, day to day psychology that will allow you to better understand the inner workings of the human mind, and allow you to get a greater control of your life.
Since this site presents information from a variety of different approaches you would be more likely to find something new and effective that could turn your life towards new direction and allow you to enjoy a new level of freedom.
This information is provided at no additional cost. You virtually have nothing to lose (except for a few minutes of your time) but you have a world to gain.
Last but not least, because by reading this information, commenting on this site, and participating in the forum, you would not only help yourself, but you will also help others. A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. And by giving a little bit of your attention towards this site you can make this world a little better. You’ll see that by learning and applying some of the techniques discussed here, you’ll begin to transform your life! And you will be amazed to discover that your transformation will begin to improve the lives of those around you!
Click Here for Free Recovery Course!
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Hi,
Are you currently accepting guest posts on website ?
My name is Anna Cleanthous and I am a freelance writer to help them reach new audiences online by developing content partnerships with good quality blogs and websites like yours.
I would like to stress that the article itself will not be self-promotional – I strive to ensure each piece I write is unique, written exclusively for your website and offers value to your audience.
If you are happy for me to do so, then I will include a reference to my client in the byline so that your readers can find out more if they wish.
Does this sound like something you would be interested in?
I look forwards to hearing from you.
All the best,
Anna Cleanthous
Um, hey Alex if you read this, can please edit this website into one or two smaller pages for me? My 3DS(which is my only way to view and interact with website) is beginning to show problems with loading because the page is way to big. I’m sorry if I’m being a nuisance, but if I can’t get on this site I don’t know what will happen. so could you please try to make several smaller pages so my 3DS can load them.
Thanks for the tip. I’ve added a mobile version of the site. I hope that it helps/works for your device.
Thanks Anonymous
Well, unfortunatly I have to start over Yet again. ;( but I’ll do what I can with those tips. also I’m still wondering should change my screen name to my real one? also is there any way to join this group without having an e-mail? (cause obviously I dont have one)
Why can’t you register a free email somewhere?
im so freakin scared that im never gonna get through this
i have been addicted for three years ….i thought i recovered after 3 months but i just broke it…
What the heck is shaswat grawal talking about? And shaswat, that was no help whatsoever. By the way beginning the second third or so of porn free week 1, any tips and tricks anyone (excluding shaswat grawal)can offer me? I could really really use ‘em if ya got ‘em.;)
Try commiting yourself to a number of healthy activities everyday. For example, commit yourself to 30min of excercise, do the erp excercise, drink a lot of water, eat healthy, listen to music, and have some sort of social activity everyday. Good luck!
If I can advise, try to meditate (at least a few minutes), it clears and calms your mind. Also socialize, try to meet new people, especially women (no fithy stuff, just a normal friendly talk, it can “fix” your view on women and build a healthier one). Or try some new hobby what you didn’t do before – it’s up to you.
Ignore Shaswat, I don’t know if he just wants to troll, make fool of himself or be funny… Just ignore him.
Hey, it’s me. I’m having more difficulty with quitting porn than I expected.
I Didn’t make it through week 2, in fact, I think I was at week 2 day 2 when I lost, sorry, was massacred with one of those stupid brain lockups I mentioned before>:( . Can anyone offer any Insight to my problem please? I need help! (Should I change my screen name to my real name?)
Hi, its me again. I was just coming to update my status an ask a question. First off, status report: My current longest porn free time was about 2 or so weeks then I had a massive slip
but I’m beginning week 2 of yet another attempt at stopping porn. My questions (sorry thought up another one) are whats the difference between the K9 and covenant eyes software ( Not that it’ll help me cause I’m using my 3DS for this). And how can I stop myself before Iose it? I mean, I will think something about a porn site and then before I can think about it I’m temporarily Incapacitated by porn!!! GRRRRR!! Its very very demoralizing.:( Can anyone offer some insight to my instant incapacitation problem?
I appreciate all the stories I’ve read here, I’m 40 now & been watching porn for over 20yrs & now realize that I need to stop cause i feel terrible for doing it & I know its wrong. I’m married now for 10yrs & we have problems that i have created b/c I feel my wife should perform like a porn star & she will not, cannot & should not. I need to & will get help from sites like this.
Hello, Please can you tell me what is Pulse Reference Table(15 second count on the left)in the checklist. I don’t know what is it.How it should be used? And What to do with it. Please help me.
It simply means that you measure your pulse for 15 seconds, and the table will help you to convert it to 60 second count.
So if for 15 seconds you counted 20, it means your 60 seconds or 1 minute pulse is 20*4=80 bits per minute.
i check few website, for my friends to give a gift,to check it up.not laffing,seriously some time getting bord so make it simple make age wise, can’t be free at all, paywise as well, stop addiction,to find another playboy,not bunnys but porn star as long as pop star.for good future for them make it up simple life.
Good to see another sex addiction recovery site online! Thank you for your work. Take a look at my site when you get a chance. We are located in Katy, TX for anyone in the general Houston area that would like a Christ-centered SAA meeting.
i m begining to fil safe n mo strong torwards quiting becoz there ar some people out there who care fo othaz. guyz i also feel confident that quiting is possible bcz sharing with u wats in me has opened me up .
Think of an addiction as a disease, like Cancer. It slowly takes over unless you catch it early on. But if caught later it proves harder to remove. You get my point?
And remember this quote; “A man chooses, a slave obeys.” We all were slaves to pornography, some still are, but they are aware of their plight!
i m begining to fil safe n mo strong torwards quiting becoz there ar some people out there who care fo othaz.
hi guys i m an male btwn 15 & 18 n i m tryna quit pornography n murstabation bt i cldn’t.i told my self that i wld nt go back to such an immoral thing but jst a month after stopping i was back to my bad ways(internet porn and masterbation).i then tried to have frequent prayers but it not helping mch.i often dream on me having s*x with many females.i fear for my life HELP PLIZ.but i was vry touch by ur article thank u vry mch keep ur spirit of helping up.i m into my 1st two hours of quitng.
good luck
Hey man, I know how you feel! I would recommend not just reading the article, but follow the course!
Also, because I am also not doing so well ATM, I think I will do something like tie a really tight bracelet around my wrist (not enough to cut circulation, but enough to be uncomfortable) So that it is a constant reminder for me to stop, because I mean hands kinda get us into this mess in the first place, so it’s a good place for a reminder. Mabie a WWJD bracelet or something? I also relapsed recently, so lets try to quit together! Also, try to find someone to be accountable to and can talk to. I think that is very important.
Good luck!
Hey everyone. I am new to this site. I have had this problem for about 10 years or so. I am going to try and battle this problem with the help of God and my mother Mary. For anyone who is interested go to this site called pornnomore.com.Wow! the stories on this site are truly amazing. There are people who have been addicted for like 20 or even 30 years. Heck there is a guy who was addicted for 17 years and after becoming Catholic and attending church on a regular basis is porn and masturbation free for 12 years, and he is entering into the priesthood. I am Catholic and am not trying to evangelize anyone but it seems to be working. I know that the more one sins the farther you push yourself away from God and more towards the devil. Alex, you are right on when you say the addiction makes slaves out of us. It is the Devil. Jesus said, ” The man who sins becomes the slave of sin”.
I have a quote for you just look at my other posts, it should help you out a little.
I’m new to this site as of about ten minutes ago. I’m also catholic and appreciate your encouraging post. I just recently became re-addicted to masturbation, and more shamefully, porn. I continue to tell myself I’m done with it, and know that one of these times it will for real be the last time. Thank God. I haven’t read the article yet but am hoping it helps a lot. Once again, thanks for the post, hope your battles have long since been overcome. If you’re still using this site, and you’re comfortable with it, say a quick prayer for me.
I have a feeling like I am about to slip back into the clutches again…
I need help on how to get my mind clear again…
Anyone out there care to offer some advice right now? I feel like I am in the muck again.
Hey man, I know it is so very tempting, but if you are on this site, read over the comments and see how badly people want to get out. Then do the breathing exercises Alex suggested. Also praying helps a lot.
Best of luck!
Just remember how much it means to you to lose porn. Everyone has personal reasons, but one common one is that it takes over and ruins our life, and we become a slave to it! Stay strong and fight it out, do the breathing exercises, review reasons to stay sober, and remember that no craving can last forever. Maybe read some stuff in the forum, or re-read the Free Recovery Course. Good luck, and stay strong!
Well I would pray but, I found an easier way to break the addiction chain for me. By continuing my fathers research in genetics, it consumes all my free time eliminating the chance of a relapse for me.
Hi, I’ve been aware of my problem for the last year as it has really taken over me. I’m now 16 days into stopping masturbation and watching porn but my mood is all over the place. The journaling exercise is very helpful but makes me very sad reading over my thoughts. Its the same recurring negative thoughts about loneliness, loss of loved ones and general self loathing.
I know now that jerking off has been my ‘prozac’ for the last couple years, dulling my ability to listen to and accept the bad thoughts going on in my head.
I think I’ll be able to make the whole 30 days but won’t necessarily be the happy ending that I hoped. It really helps to read what others are going through and to draw strength from your thoughtful, inspiring messages
Well, good for you for getting that far! That’s an accomplishment already. You’re 16, you can fix this now and still have your whole life ahead of you. Your mood will fix itself over time, just stay true to what you know is best and continue to not give any strength to your addiction.
I wish you luck!
I was playing a game the other day and a character said this quote; “A man chooses a slave obeys.”. I figured out right then I was mentally a slave to pornography. We all just need to break that chain, for some it is harder, some it is easy. But we can get through this!
Wow! Excellent quote, thanks for sharing!
Yes, it is sadly true that addicts are slaves to pornography, but if you dedicate yourself fully and do all you can to the best of your ability to break the pornographic cycle, you can be freed and get out!
Hello again, I just made a post a little while ago so I’m adding what I couldn’t at that time. I said previously that it’s vital that we never give the bad wolf any food to eat. This could mean a number of things. “Food” for the bad wolf, could mean anything that can nourish the addiction and cause it to be able to continue fighting us. Whether it’s thoughts of the images we’ve taken in, images themselves that we inadvertently come across (which will happen from time to time as well), and things like these. I also try to remember that when WE feed the right wolf, and WE starve the bad wolf, we are only doing things that are in our control. Maybe that bad wolf will come across food itself (in the form of recurring thoughts of images that we can’t really do much about except not focus on them, as well as images and such that we encounter on the internet or magazines, movies, anywhere.) We can’t do much about those things. But it’s so important to not dwell on them or nurture them, it’s important for us not to justify going on a high-risk website in a situation where we’re alone, etc. because that’s not starving the wrong wolf, we can try our best to take the food away from the wolf that has found it’s own food, it won’t be easy. it won’t be easy. I repeated that because it’s so true, but in order to conquer it, it’s something we need to realize and apply. Now I realize that everyone has the free will to make their own decisions in life, I don’t have the right to tell anyone to “do this” or “do that”. But I care about people and I feel that if someone is on here for a good reason, then I hope that anything I share that helps me can help them as well. Again, I have so much respect for Alex as well as everyone who contributes to the website as well as the purpose of it, the conquering of evil. You’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person if you have a problem like this. The fact that you’re on here trying to get help, taking the initiative in solving your problem, shows that you have a lot of good in you. And it shows that that good can and will overpower this evil addiction. Much Love <3
I really, really have a ton of respect for you Alex, and I thank you a lot for creating this website. All the more so for the recovery course being free, and not some scheme to make money off of people’s sincere efforts to overcome a serious obstacle in their life. It does sound pretty heartless for someone to do such a thing, but there are actually people who do that out there. It’s really sad. Which is why I have a lot of respect for you as well. I really like the “Feed The Right Wolf” analogy, and being of First Nations background myself, it hit me even harder. As far as addiction goes, I have not progressed to the extreme end of the spectrum. (The farthest I’ve gone is just the so-called “tube videos” portraying hetero-sexual relations in action,) but even this is too far for me, it’s been a habit that I have had a lot of trouble with, even with periods of abstaining and then periods of relapses. The relapses are devastating, I’ve harmed myself because of the guilt at times, even though that is not a healthy thing to do, quite the opposite actually. But back to the “Feed The Right Wolf” analogy, I’d like to throw something out to all who see this posted on here, something that I add to it. There is truly always a constant battle inside of us, 2 wolves, good and bad. So when we feed the right one, the good one, we can conquer the bad. What I like to emphasize to myself though, is that if we don’t STARVE the other wolf, then it may just stay alive and keep the battle going. Even if it’s not as strong from being undernourished, a wolf will fight to the absolute death if it is defending it’s territory or it’s cubs. When we have an addiction of this terrible nature, the bad wolf has established it’s own territory in our hearts and it’s even started a family you could say. It’s NOT going down without giving everything it has. So we can’t give it any food at all if we want to beat it, not dwelling on any thoughts of a pornographic nature that come into our minds. (The thoughts will always come, it’s inevitable, so there’s no reason to feel terrible when they do come but it’s vital that we don’t let ourselves dwell on them.)
I have more I would like to post but I am strapped for time at the moment.
Much love to Alex and everyone who’s going through the same struggles who visit this site
What are your views on masturbation?
If you think its good, why?
If you think its bad, why?
I am 23yrs old i started watching porn wen i was 15yrs old… at first i never knew tat it is gonna twist and sicken my mind to this extend if i would hav knew it i would hav never even gone near it…. nw my life is miserable my gf left me i lost my job going thro very bad time in my life may be de most miserable part of my lyf i depend on porn watch it most of de time and found tat i became addicted i m missin out all de beautiful things in lyf due to dis habbit…. i m praying meditating doing breathing exercise trying my level best to cme out of it… i hav ocd probs and depression probs too i feel like suicide sometimes trying my level best to get my life bac sharing my true situation with u all pls stay away from evil it ll be temptimg but it ll ruin ur lyf 4 sure
Well, you’re not alone. Remember, the key is to not be mad at yourself and dwell on the past and sadness, because that makes your addiction stronger. You have to move on. Not many people know the affects of porn when they first start watching it, so you can’t blame yourself there. There are other people addicted to porn just like you, including me, so you’re not alone. I’m sorry to hear you lost your job and girlfriend. I’m sure you will find a new job soon, and I wish you luck. As far as your girlfriend, if she leaves you as soon as she finds out you’re struggling, I’m sorry to say she wasn’t the one. I mean, if you were getting married, she would have to be there through better AND for WORSE. And since she didn’t do that, you can’t blame yourself. Good for your that you are recognizing where the problem is and doing things like praying and meditation. It will really help you. Remember, if you are mad and upset about your addictions, and you become upset and depressed, it makes you want to lean on porn to take your mind off things and send you on a high. If you forgive yourself, keep trying doing everything you can, and continue moving on, it will truly be better for you. The only other thing I have to say is, about depression… DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE!! You are an amazing person, I know that even though I haven’t met you. You will make it through this, and although it’s hard don’t go too hard on yourself.
Good luck on your journey.
This is an interesting post. SUICIDE. I have thoughts of self destruction on a daily basis but I deal with by remembering something I once read.
SUICIDE is a PERMANENT solution to what is a temporary problem.
Life is full of ups and downs, like a rollercoaster. The one thing about a rollercoaster is it is really dangerous to get off as its going so fast. Just sit tight and things will go “up” again from the “down” you find yourself in now. LIFE IS FULL OF CHALLENGES WHICH WITHOUT WOULD LIFE VERY BORING”.
The fIrst step is understanding how your mind causes pshyological changes in your body in teh form of powerful chemicals into the body.
I have lost nearly everything I hold dear in the world including my lovely wife of 30 years. Saying people are not worth having a relationship with because they walked away is actually incorrect. Sometimes seeing a loved one in such pain on a continuing basis; where they are doing all they can to help, can become be a living hell. They have no option but to walk away otherwise the pain of seeing the partner suffering would end up damaging them.
The modrn world has so many pressures to bring to bear on people. We are seeing a massive sea change in human behaviours based on technological advances which we are not equipped as human beings to really deal with. Soe teenagers occupy a world whre many of their relationships are on smart fones and spend all the waking hours using the to communicate uttery facile and worthless exchanges.
don’t ever give up and learn to control your thoughts> which dictate your emaotional state and the world you live in that you create with your thoughts. I recommend people seek out Eckhart Tolle and read his book the power of now. Another brillaint book is The Power Of being by Trevor Emdon. i AM FIGHTING SEVERAL DEMONS IN MY LIFE. Porn and Sex addiction. MY ONLINE PORN ADDDICTION LED TO me having random sex with strangers. male and female. Depression and massive anxiety attacks.
You just have to “Man Up” read all you can and control your thoughts> If you want to fire up the computer and look at porn simply say “I don’t need this” and go for a walk or do something else. If you are not in a relationship i cantimagine getting through this without masturbating. Just use your mind and think of having sex with your ex until you meet someone new.
Millions are going through what you are going through> just forgive yourself and treat yourself gently and kindly like you would an errant toddler.
But you can get your life back on track and be happy again> you can stop and heal yourself and be a better human being as a result of your life experience with pornograhy. FORGIVE YOURSELF and move on.
greg x
Quick question: To anyone out there who is no longer addicted, how long did it take and how bad was your addiction when you first started to try and change? How do you know your not addicted anymore, like is there a certain feeling or are there signs? Thank you
I can’t really say I am free but I felt something click in my subconscious the other day, it literally screamed “STOP!”. I don’t believe in anything spiritual or that but something or someone is looking out for me. I think that me also getting pneumonia AND a kidney infection also had something to do with it. Maybe your body begins to tell you stop in increasingly more painful ways…. oh this my fourth day clean!
It’s neat that you mention that, because just yesterday, I myself felt something click in my subconscious mind. It was like my addiction surrendered, it was really weird but awesome. For the past couple days I have rarely thought about porn or sexual thoughts, and I haven’t been having as strong urges anymore. Although I’m still doing all I can to not get back into the evil chain of events, and I’m not letting that get to my head, I think I might be starting to break free.
So almost the same thing happened to me that you experienced. Although I’m not religious either, I also feel something is looking out for me.
Congratulations on your fourth day clean, that is excellent to hear!
Hi Everyone, I’m Anonymous14, but using the name I use in the forum on this website.
Just wanted to say thanks to Alex and everyone out there who supports each other.
Good luck to everyone!
I am the former lifewasted, I have decided to use my real name.
I am a 15 year old boy from Jackson, Mississippi my porn addiction started 4 years ago when I began hanging out with the wrong crowd. From the outside no one would think I was addicted to porn, straight A student attended church every week where the pastor regularly warns of the danger of sexual immorality. When I first began viewing porn I was playing on the gaming site miniclip. Just playing regular games when a ” friend ” showed me some of the games where you could watch cartoon girls strip, within a week this 11 year old boy was searching porn sites like a pro. Masturbating multiple times a day. well at the age of 11 I hadn’t learned to clear my Internet history and my mom caught me. Months of my parents guarding me very closely worried about me. After a year this had died down and my parents began trusting me again. Within another week i had fallen baca into the addiction but Now with enough sence to clear my browsing history unknowing to my parents my internet searches got worse and worse from photos to videos from females to females and males and yes to gay porn. I had gotten to the point where I knew I needed help and now I’m begging I REALLY NEED HELP!
I have been getting alot worse over time I now will go into mens bathrooms and look at other men peeing its consuming my life and I don’t want to become one of those men who gets arrested for doing something illegal. sometimes, I feel possessed like maybe a demon, I did witness and exerscism when I was younger. It just really scares me I’m beyond going to my parents for help. I JUST WANT TO BE FREE
Well, I’m no expert, but I would say that what you are going through is understandable. Guys become curious and they go to the internet for answers and porn is something that is full of lies, even though most children don’t know that. My recommendation is follow this course, join the forum, and get involved in this website. But the main thing you have to do, as hard as it is, is confess to your mom or dad, or an adult you trust that you have this addiction. Ask them to install K9 web filtering on all the computers in the house and have them put on a password you wont be able to guess. I use it and it works amazingly, even if I were to see and accidental pornographic advertisement or slip up and go looking, it blocks it all so I have no option of watching porn anymore.
Best of luck
You can get through this, just break the chain that holds you…. but follow BreaktheCycle he is better at this stuff than me.
I also used to have problems with porn addiction. But, I the word of God help me quit.
Thou shalt not commit adultery
thou shalt not covet your neighbours wife
whoevel looks at a woman to long for her has all ready commited adultery with her in his heart.
Enjoy your life with the wife of your youth, and do not be embraced in the arms if a sexually immoral woman.
Dear Brother from my childhood onwards i had a symptoms of porn,i eager to see naked images when i was 7 yrs, i dont knw how it came….. i edicted to porn from 6 yrs onwards, during that times i had no internet, tv, but i had a feeling inside, i watched the women naked so many times, i made it very secret every time, i seemed to be a good to others, offcource for also my parents, years are passing when i was 21 God called me, that time i giveup this bad habit to God because of his power, i met jesus personally when he called me, after some days again i felt into watching porn, i asked forgive so many times to God, i began to live holy for few days only, again i felt into that sin, finnaly i got married, i began to satisfy with my wife, there is a lot of change in my behaviour, i totally changed my self by doing Word of God every day, i made covenant with God, (God i never more see porn again), after some days satan is tempting to watch porn on internet, i began to search little bit, then finnaly i felt into satan`s temptation, i became a slave every time i covenant with GOD, would please help me how can i get out of this ploblem, and live like holy, (note:- i have no dring, smoking, but i cant overcome from watching porn.)
I liked the entire course. I feel it has opened my eyes to my addiction and had given me the tools to change!
I like the fact that it explained how I got where I was, what makes it happen and how to fix it!
I wouldn’t change a thing.
Hey, I was really surprised to find how helpful this site is, and how recent the posts are! I am for sure going to recommend this to some friends that are fighting this as well.
My problem is that I have an internet blocker set up by my parents, and it actually blocks the button that says “click here for a free recovery course”. How’s that for ironic! So, um… could someone post it as something else or on a different site? Perhaps a PDF or something? Thanks so much, I really want to get over this addiction, because I still have a chance to get out.
Also some advice: Honestly as weird as it seems, God actually can help you get over porn.
Thanks Alex, and God bless!
I actually got it now. Thanks.
Just want to add how encouraging all the responses are. To me they are just as powerful as the article itself.
God Bless
I’m 14 years old, and started watching porn when I was pretty young, because of curiosity and stress due to my parents divorce. I used to think it was harmless and just curiosity. I shook it off and was free for a few months, but for some reason I got back into it. Now I am 14 and I need to stop it. I’m not heavily addicted, but the addiction is there. You certainly notice when you try to stop! I have K9 on all my internet accessing devices, and I’m now posting comments on this site to any open ears. I’m going to start reading the Bible and praying for help, so I can shake it off before it gets too bad, too addicting and ruins my life, because I want to have a successful life, and marriage and have kids.
To FeedTheRightWolf/Alex, all I can say is thank you so much! Upon feeling guilty of watching porn, I found your site and it has given me reasons to not watch it any more. It made me realize I wasn’t alone, and now I don’t just have to keep my thoughts jumbled up in my head where my addiction can change them and make them seem like porn is a good idea, I can post my thoughts here. Also, because it is free, that I can’t thank you for enough. I’m 14, so I can’t commit to anything financially, so your generosity has and will change my life drastically for the better.
To anyone else out there reading this, I understand what you’re going through and I’m sure you understand me. Thank you for being an open ear.
Any thoughts or suggestions on what my next step could be?
Thanks again. Anonymous14
So, any suggestions on things I can do or next steps? Anything is appreciated! Thanks guys.
Just set your eye on the goal, and if this helps remember this quote I made; ” A voice of reason is the best weapon one can wield.˝
Wow, that’s an awesome quote! Thanks so much, your reply really helped.
Best of luck to you as well!
Everyone, I have an insight to share… every time you master bate either to porn or to thoughts you create more desire or passion for sex or masterbation. Its like it multiplies it self. So its harder to give up every time you do it. I have given up cocaine & alcohol for the lord Christ but have not been able to give up this addiction… yet. I have stopped looking at porn only for a month & now i want to look at some naked woman again.. I give this advice to all seekers of freedom from this evil habit… When ever you think of sex say aloud ”VUM” this sound helps you to overcome the sex thought. Make this a habit to say this sound ”VUM” every time you get aroused. Pray to the creator & ask for the saints Christanthus & Daria converts of christ to intercede for you. These saints have overcome sexual temptations. Remember the scribe & pharisee’s how they thought they were so holy because they kept all the hebrew laws – even they rejected their own savior but Mary Magdalene (a prostitute) knew & followed Jesus. I feel that it is where your heart is – is the most important. ”What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?” … GOD wants you because he loves you…! ”And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends.” … Look this quote up & contemplate on it… I feel that it means that when We go wrong but then we stop being wrong God rejoices in our change of heart… (even MORE than the son that has obeyed his father rules)… -ONE more practice- Pray this prayer ” Cast thee satan hence behind me & may the father rebuke thee in the name of the father the son & the holy ghost in Jesus Christ’s name I pray. Amen. – I prayed this prayer yesterday after feeling the urge to commit fornication with a women who already has a child & I heard in the far distance something yelling angrily… that I had overcome… Like ghosts were yelling ”NOOO!” That they were disappointed that I did not fail & have sex. No Lie. That is so powerful that when you overcome you cast out demons. I am also giving a Practice for all regardless of religious denomination. This practice comes from a Eastern Saint. ”Breath Up to the middle of the eyebrows – Hold for 10 seconds seeing the light of your Creator at your forehead. Breath out – for 10 seconds – imaging that you have expelled the spirt compelling thee to sin.” You may also sound the sanskrit Word “VUM” (spelt Vam but sounded as VUM). I have come across other religious information regarding Sex.. having a religious inclination myself – & have found them very useful. Also a Eastern man who is very interesting – Paramahansa Yoganada has pointed out a few health risks of Masterbation. Number 1). The seminal fluid is brain food. It contain every vitamin in the human body. To dislodge these astral battery packs is to give up powerful resources of strength needed during labor, sickness or any other important activity. To give up this fluid by the Breastly urge by any mean is to fall into sickness, Disease, Low concentration & even premature death.” Also in the koran it states that ”And those who guard their private parts, Except in the case of their wives or those whom their right hands possess– for these surely are not to be blamed, But he who seeks to go beyond this, these it is that go beyond the limits” also “Those who guard their sexual organs except with their spouses or those whom their right hands possess, for (with regard to them) they are without blame. But those who crave something beyond that are transgressors.” “And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty.” 24.33. This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty.
Dear Brother from my childhood onwards i had a symptoms of porn,i eager to see naked images when i was 7 yrs, i dont knw how it came….. i edicted to porn from 6 yrs onwards, during that times i had no internet, tv, but i had a feeling inside, i watched the women naked so many times, i made it very secret every time, i seemed to be a good to others, offcource for also my parents, years are passing when i was 21 God called me, that time i giveup this bad habit to God because of his power, i met jesus personally when he called me, after some days again i felt into watching porn, i asked forgive so many times to God, i began to live holy for few days only, again i felt into that sin, finnaly i got married, i began to satisfy with my wife, there is a lot of change in my behaviour, i totally changed my self by doing Word of God every day, i made covenant with God, (God i never more see porn again), after some days satan is tempting to watch porn on internet, i began to search little bit, then finnaly i felt into satan`s temptation, i became a slave every time i covenant with GOD, would please help me how can i get out of this ploblem, and live like holy, (note:- i have no dring, smoking, but i cant overcome from watching porn.)
iam 16 i cant go a day without it help me
I feel you! What I’m doing right now is using K9. Alex gives a link on his website. Set all restrictions on high and put time limits on so you can’t stay up late at night surfing the web. K9 also has apps for Apple devices, and I think Android, not sure. Follow all the instructions on this site and go to it daily. If you are religious, pray. If not, review reasons why you should stop watching porn.
Best of luck,
-Anonymous14
Just remember you aren’t alone! We all struggle together!
To all those below 18, life is bright for you, but I am a lost cause. It was great being here but, something better awaits me.
You are NOT a lost cause. Your addiction is strong yes. But it’s not God. Keep seeking help. You’re make it!
Your NOT lost or alone. Don’t give up on yourself. It is vital you have self respect. We are all human and we all make mistakes. Think of how proud you would be if you walked away! Do everything you can, and don’t make any excuses.
Best of luck.
-Anonymous14
Well, let me state why I became addicted, I am a son pf a Captain of Industry the stress, lying, and overall competition puts so much pressure on my mind, and to add salt to a wound, whe left just yesterday.
Hey guys i’m glad I found this site, i’ve been addicted to porn for at least 6 years i’m 21 years old now. Now its to the point where it is out of control. I would spend around 4 hours a week or more looking at porn. Its to the point where i’m not stimulated anymore and clicking on random nude images nonstop. It’s at that point where I don’t even know what i’m looking at. Its like a disturbing drug, I don’t want to lose my family or girlfriend over this. I’m glad to see there are people willing to be strong, step up, and heal themselves. This site definitely motivates me to stop. I just want to focus in college or in life. I think I just need to let a tear drop, forgive myself, and move on. Its a new day. I thank everyone for the courage they have to fight.
My situation is almost exactly the same! I understand you completely! All I can say is don’t give up on yourself! You will be so proud of yourself when you shake this off!
Best wishes,
-Anonymous14
“Real freedom is not just staying “clean” for a week or month or even a year. Real freedom is having the desire for porn evaporate out of your life” http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-welcome.htm
I was so close to putting porn entirely behind me. I had gone months without it and thought that I was home free. Somehow it started slipping back in my mind and then I was going online weekly. Then I’d make progress for a few months and now I’m going head first out of control again. I have tons of reason and will to quit but somehow I still find myself back here again. A months ago I really felt like this was a critile point in the struggle (make or break) and now if seems that I am trapped forever. For thoes of you that pray, I could really use something. Maybe just a boost to get me going. I want to stop very bad and have made a plan so I beleive that my heart is in the right place but I have been pulled very far off track this week.
Hey Jose I know exactly how you feel. I’m going through the same exact thing. I know the pain and suffering that you are going through. It is awful. Pornography destroys like a drug but worse. What I can tell you is not to give up. You are not alone in this. I’m praying for you right now.
Hi. I will repost what i added before and i sincerely hope that you will see this site. “Real freedom is not just staying “clean” for a week or month or even a year. Real freedom is having the desire for porn evaporate out of your life” http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-welcome.htm
Jose I encourage you to keep going. Something that is working for me really well is:
1. When I don’t do what I suppose to be doing, I will be in risk of messing up. Do not procrastinate!
2. Have a relationship with god. Read the bible and pray everyday.
3. Every time you think in something related to porn BREATH ! Hold it for 10 seconds and slowly breath out for 10 seconds. Do this 5 times. Some how it WORKS!
God bless you man, I just prayed for you.
I wanted to add that please consider 12 step program such as Sex Addicts Anonymous. I’ve went there after my relapse, and continue to find it very helpful 2.5 years later
The fact that you are on this start is already an amazing start, so I congratulate you. I understand you, the same thing happened to me. Use all the help you can get, especially using this amazing website. The boost to get me going is this:
Whenever I have a temptation, I think of two doors.
One door is dark, black, evil. It is full of lies, tricks, scams, etc.
The other door is bright, sunny and beautiful. It is full of everything I, personally, love and want out of life.
I just think to myself; I have two options. Follow my addiction, which is the wrong path no matter what I am thinking now, or I can down a path that chases my dreams. I am proud to say that now when I have the craving, I go to this website and reply to comments, and that helps a lot.
I also highly recommend you get the free program, K9. There is a link to it on this website.
Remember, your on the right path now being on this site, and realizing you need to change, so don’t look down on yourself. I support you and I’m praying for you!
Best of luck,
-Anonymous14
Hello evenyone,
I can’t thank you enough for your support! Even just a quick post has kept me in check because I feel as if I am not only letting myself down but others as well. I can once again say that I feel that I am headed in the right direction. My plan becomes even more comprehensive with each passing day and I hope to remain vigilant. At the moment my desktop is littered with digital sticky notes containing various reminders in case of serious temptation. A journal with several of the course steps replaced my internet shortcut and the LAN cable is gone when I am done with my legit online business. I will keep you all posted on my success and try to provide help where ever I can. It’s a good week. God bless!
Pornography has destroyed my soul and my sense of self-worth. Please, anyone out there, get out of it before you’re addicted. Never use it. Not even once. Just leave it alone. I only pray that I can get out of it before it’s too late.
I can relate to you.
Don’t look down on yourself. Keep trying. Download K9, go to chat groups, read every word on this site, get Covenant Eyes… whatever you have to do. I support you and believe in you, even though I don’t know you, just for the fact your on this website.
Best of luck,
-Anonymous14
Thanks for letting me speak my mind. I’ll leave this bog probably for good, now.
So my husband is really hooked to porn. Spends hours on the phone looking at tits and Ass. He does not like having sex with me. Why is this? How do I get it threw to him it is NOT NORMAL, THEIR IS SOMETHING WRONG? He even got a memory card and has it locked in his van. It has pics of over 300 + girls and some me his cousins.. He says he just wants a pic of them cuz he does not have any pics of his family cuz they are in another country.But there pics are of them in mini dresses thong bathing suits. Not pics a cousin or uncle would HAVE.I went so far as to tell his mother. The mother only yelled at him like a kids stole a cookie from the cookies jar. Did not help at all. Then my husband sends the pics to his email like I did not know what he was doing.
SHOULD I LEAVE? IS HE HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE SINCE HE DOES NOT HAVE SEX WITH ME? HOW DO I MAKE HIM SEE THAT HE IS LOOSING HIS FAMILY.
heather, I just wanted to tell you Alex gave some very straight-forward advice pertaining to your situation to someone called “anon” somewhere in the middle of this blog. He cuts right to the chase in that post.
Just so you know, there is a lot of help out there. You can even call an AA hotline, and they will find a free on-the-spot counselor to give you advice right in the moment. Al-anon is for family and friends of alcoholics. S-anon is for family and friends of sex-aholics. They will be able to give you all the help you could hope for. You are definitely not all alone and have every right in the world to be disgusted.
Hi Heather,
Sorry to hear about your struggles. Unfortunately what you are going through is very common in our society. The behaviors that you are describing are clearly unhealthy, and I believe that it could be a good idea for you to prepare to leave your husband, UNLESS he is open to seeking help for his “potentially” harmful behaviors.
The reason that I put potential in quotes, is because while it may be apparent to you and to outsiders like myself, to your husband, in his mind, it’s probably feels like he is not doing anything wrong. I know hundreds of men, who first sought help for sex addiction, simply because they were afraid to lose their family, only to later realize that they do in fact have a real problem.
We have a lot of articles on this site to help spouses of addicts. This article might be a good place to start: http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2010/04/my-husband-watches-porn-addicted-husband/
Regards,
Alex
I am Heather also lol, but I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel. I have been dealing with my husbands porn/fantasy/gambeling addiction for 8 years. After this last cycle in febuary I finally filed for divorce. The denial he is in is exponential I always thought that when he really saw that he was loosing his wife and kids he would see how bad it really truely is and what its done to him and me and us. But unfortuantely he still doesnt see it. Heather I would say the earlier you get out the better, I have realized I will never be able to get him to see the light only he can make that decision. My husband for 8 years has said repeatedly that he wouldnt look at porn anymore and he would get help but he was only saying that to keep me and never actually seeked help. I left him 5 years ago but returned after his pleading and begging how foolish was I to think he would change. ITs not you its him and I just hope you protect your heart from this disease and definately kids if you have them.
i am 14 and addicted…..I’m really pissed because everytime i say i won’t do it, i just do….i don’t wanna be like this anymore
Join the crowd! My psychologist recommends learning about the human brain’s neuro-plasticity at a web-site called yourbrainonporn -it has an easy to understand six part mini-series about it and TONS of other useful info. Also, Candeo.com has A LOT of free advice – you might want to pay special attention to “the avoidance cycle” – it’s a totally typical state for (I guess) any addict to find themselves caught in… I’m personally about to get into reading a book the same psychologist recommended reading called: “The Porn Trap”.
Also, there’s TONS of helpful factual information on a site called “pornharms”. It has a little over 30 snippets of video of educated people speaking about porn and seems to be leading the legal movement against porn – as porn is “obscenity” and contrary to popular opinion, it ISN’T protected by the 1st Amendment. There’s one lady on there who’s got a Phd. (doctorate) from England that’s an incredibly powerful speaker. You’ll also find a snippet of Shelly Lubben – she’s a former porn star that was personally saved from the industry by Christ – she’s actually been miraculously healed of an incurable STD, and she’s one of the leaders in “the good fight” against porn and has her own web-site, too – like that powerful speaker from England – but from an entirely different point of view. Shelley Lubben will move you.
The good advice I hear talks about learning from your relapses and thus turning a negative into a positive – and don’t be too hard on yourself (beating yourself up). Knowledge is power! Hang in there! I used to be 14, too. Now I’m 41. Do you still want to be asking the same question when you’re my age?
I just wanted to add that learning about the brain’s neuro-plasticity seems to really help people to not be too hard on themselves and be a little kinder.
Shelly Lubben’s site is called “PinkCross”. She has a book, too.
Right now, I’m digging into all the free info I can, and then probably will buy into Candeo.com to learn as much as I can about developing a healthy sexuality. That’s not a bad goal, eh?
I am 12 and I need help badly betore this habit launches off the ground.
we can do it lol
Wow! You are so young! You made a good decision to post on this site, I hope. I hope Alex and any other trustworthy person with good advice will speak up in response to this 12 year old!
I’ll tell you from personal experience, I was very troubled with this subject matter when I was about your age, and maybe the best advice is to tell you to find an adult you can trust and tell them about it. When I was your age the person who wound up being the best person to talk to was the guidance counselor at my junior high. They HAVE to keep your personal stuff private according to the law (unless they think you are going to hurt someone or yourself). The counselors at junior highs are there waiting and ready for someone just like you –
Another thing you should know: “sexting” on your phone with other minors is potentially a REALLY bad idea! Anytime anyone (regardless) of their age sends even a sexually suggestive picture even with their clothes on (!!!) it can and will be considered CHILD PORNOGRAPHY and they can and will possible be prosecuted and have a VERY BAD criminal record and have to register as a SEX OFFENDER for the rest of their lives. So don’t get into sexting! Also, if someone (anyone at your age) sends you a sexually suggestive picture, you SHOULDN’T delete it! You should take it to a trusted adult and let them deal with it. This is a very serious new problem in the world. I work in a junior high, and they just had a VERY BIG SCANDAL because of “sexting”! Remember – don’t just delete it – the harsh reality is that ANYTHING that gets “out” on the web can be seized by an opportunistic child pornographer and put on a porn site – especially those sites that blur the lines between “legal” and NOT legal (age-wise).
You are so young. I highly recommend talking to you school counselor. If you don’t like the one assigned to you, hopefully your school is big enough that there might be another – but be sure to talk to an ADULT – and one you know and can tell you can trust.
Good for you for asking for help. God bless!
Also, when I was your age, I didn’t really “know” my counselor at that time, but when I got called into her office, she radically altered the direction of my life for the better (at that time) with the smallest, gentle and kindest of words:)
Note also how I said, “when I got called into her office”. That means I got busted for sexual misbehavior! It’s much better to go into their office seeking their help instead of pushing your luck misbehaving until you get busted and HAVE to go in to see them…
I just wanted to add another thing about “sexting” – DON’T DO IT. They just had a big scandal where I work with kids your age and to help curb the problem, they put up signs giving this advice about when you’re texting:
tHiNk
t is it true?
h is it helpful?
i is it inspiring?
n is it necessary?
k is it kind?
There is so much advice I could give you, namely the #1 thing you have to know about sexual relations is that it has to be consensual – that means both people have to communicate that they want to be intimate with each other – otherwise it’s non-consensual – and that is potentially going to be a sexual offense – that’s BAD in a BIG WAY. And you need to know that legally speaking, 18 years old is the legal age when a person is old enough to give consent, but anything younger is illegal. That’s right! Kids aren’t supposed to be having sex!
Well, one last point: don’t be too disappointed if it takes you a while to get some real sobriety under your belt. It’s especially hard at first, but keep at and don’t give up!
Now at this point, I’m hoping someone whose got way more sobriety under their belt will step in and take over from here… Alex are you out there? What about you, PornFreeDude? They probably be able to give you better advice and with a more positive attitude…
Hey,
I just want to back Casey up on this. I’m an 18 year old guy, and I’ve had problems with this since I was about 14. PLEASE go talk to an adult you trust!!! Cut it off early! Please! They seriously will want to help you, and you aren’t going to get into trouble. Cut it off now. It gets so hard and is so hard on you mentally. Please don’t think “I’ll take care of it later” or “This is something that I can take care of my own”. I had enough self control to lose over 100 pounds, but this is something I’ve dealt with for way too long! Please ask someone for help!
It’s something you CAN take care WITH HELP!!!
I’m 14 and i NEED help..
I need help
Glad to see I can post with just a name, thanks Alex!
SKYWALKER, though what you say about nudity being helpful makes a lot of sense, I see 2 big problems. 1. How to go about doing that in todays society, especially if you are a religious person, which I assume you are. Your friends and family will not easily be convinced, so do you just go visit a nudist camp regularly or what?
2. If that was really an answer, don’t you think your church leaders would know about it? God has all the answers, and because “His house is a house of order” don’t you think he would reveal his word (the answer) though his prophet/church leaders? My church has strong views they teach about being modest, which makes a lot of sense. That could never include nudity, except maybe in your own home with your wife.
I think the solution has to be more along the lines of “being in the world but not OF the world.” I.e. shunning evil and temptation by avoiding unwholesome TV, movies, web surfing, clubs, etc. The problem I see, especially for me, is how to get back to that lifestyle when you’ve succumbed to it and are covered in filth and infected your brain. Just as with drugs and alcohol, its much easier and smarter to avoid it in the first place, than to recover from it.
Enough for now. My first step is to begin the repentance process and seek the Lords help. I want to find a good web-blocker, and I think I’ll re-read the wonderful book Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball.
Anyone know a good safe-search tool/web-blocker? Preferably free?
Thanks and God bless us all. I know Christ has the power to help us and to forgive, He is the key.
Hi, i want to thank you for your reply. Believe me when i say that i am not surprised at all that you see nudity as a problem, obviously because through media outlets, nudity is tainted with sin i.e. pornography and its resultant filth. You asked how this can be done in today’s society, the only answer i can give to that is to know the truth. I too at a point never believed that there was absolutely nothing good about nudity in itself, but you see years ago when i struggled with the sin of lust which led to pornography, i shared correspondence with one the pastors and while we where at it, i was encouraged to go to an art class and draw a nude figure (i am an artist). Up till that time i have never drawn a nude person because of the belief that i would be tempted to sin, but when i started the class, throughout the class, i mean i was looking at a beautiful naked person and i did not have so much as an urge or immoral desire, i simply saw her as a ‘human being’!!! That experience had a profound change in my life and really brought the message home. I personally have not visited a nudist camp before, but you see i have come to this understanding and fact that it is not even the nudity that is the issue, rather the ultimate problem is that we have all grown up with a false view of the body. You are also right about the fact that God has all the answers, but you will also realize that even church leaders can believe that they are conveying God’s truths but they end up interpreting His word based on their cultural beliefs and this applies more so to the issue of nudity. You see when people hear the word ‘nudity’ it brings such disgust and disdain and of course it is seen as immoral altogether, but is it not the Lord who created our bodies as His temple, is it not possible for us to be able to have another different view about the body. You mentioned about modesty, but how do you define ‘modesty’, what are the yardsticks for defining someone for being modest, is it defined by how someone dresses, maybe how long a woman’s dress should be and all that. I have seen that even if a person dresses ‘modestly’, it does not mean that it will deal with the problem of lust in one’s heart!!! You are also right by pointing out that we must avoid activities like surfing unwholesome sites and video content, but even if you a get a software that blocks access to immoral sites, it will only serve to reduce the opportunity to lust, but it does not deal with the sin of lust itself. This is one of the issues of why people that are addicted to pornography measure their freedom in their minds by ‘how long they have stayed clean’ and that means how long they have not watched porn clips and when they find themselves having the urge and maybe falling back to it, they become very frustrated even after they may have prayed. I can draw this situation to analogy of a having a big tree in your back yard, you do not like this tree because it is giving you problems, and so you start cutting all the branches and even burning them, yet for as long as the root of the tree still remains intact, in time the branches will eventually grow back. However if you deal with the problem by striking at its very root, and that means when we then destroy the tree by pulling it from its very roots, there will be no way that the branches will grow back!!!! What am i saying here, i am saying that nudity in itself is not evil at all and it is not the cause of our problems, it is the misconception of the body that has unwittingly led people to be in bondage to pornography because pornography flaunts the temple of God and fills it with filth and evil and it continually draws its power and allure from the belief that nudity is sexually provocative. I know personally that many in the church will not accept that there is goodness in nudity and so it will seem that what i believe is ridiculous and that i may appear insane but i will say this; my changed perspective about our bodies has allowed to see people for the way Jesus will expect us to see them regardless of their outlook but because i now believe that there is goodness in our bodies and that the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, i cannot stand and have fellowship any longer with anything that violates, distorts and degrades the sincere beauty and goodness of the body and then unites it with the ungodly view of sex (pornography)!!!! The body is not the problem, the real problem is to deal with the lust, selfish and self centered nature in the heart of both the viewer and even the person being viewed, because it is the wickedness of the heart combined with the seemingly irrevocable acceptance that nudity is sexually immoral in nature that has led to the rise and rise of pornography in our world today. I do not expect you to be convinced immediately because i know how tasking and daunting it can be to question even the very things you once thought to be true, but as Christians, our beliefs must be defined by the word of the Lord ‘truly’ says and not the way the some church leaders may interpret it. Nevertheless i will plead with you to have a look at this website:
1.) http://gracechurch-sl.us/files/FLF_Apologia.pdf
Stay blessed always. Shalom.
just testing to see what info I need to give to make a reply
Greetings to you all. I thought I post this comment I took from a website that was written by ‘Johnw’. Please read:
“President Hinckley has spent a lot of energy warning about pornography, calling it worse than the plague. The topic comes up all the time in Stake leadership meetings too. I have heard statistics of the volume of pornography that flows through the BYU network every day. It is a huge, sick problem.
Still, from my limited experience, pornography is not the problem. In fact, it is a symptom of a much deeper problem. In my opinion, when we put porn blockers and filters on our Internet connections, we’re hacking at the branches of evil, but not striking at the root.
My view is that we have created our own cancer. By “we” I don’t refer specifically to the church or to the US, but just generally to the Christian culture in the US, which tends to be somewhat amplified in the church.
What is the cancer? The cancer is mutated views of bodies and sexuality. This has come about from two fronts.
On one side, we have always been a very “Victorian” society. Surprisingly, in some ways this is growing instead of softening. We have been able to become more and more private about our bodies in these big, modern homes with private rooms and baths. Contrast this with the homes our grandparents grew up in, with one common room for all of the kids and a wash basin on the kitchen floor for bathing; “modesty” just wasn’t an option. But now it is. Even “modesty” itself is taking on a life of its own in the church. Its definition has grown from the original sense of propriety in conduct to the narrow definition of ample clothing. As a result, we have it pounded into our heads that bodies are sexual and they have to be covered to preserve purity. The hiding of them, I believe, creates a second problem. We can easily become fixated on what we are not allowed to see.
On the other side, Hollywood is working very hard to sexualize the body. It shows idealized, air-brushed flashes of skin and charges them with sexuality. The irony is that the Christian culture is reinforcing Hollywood’s messaging. Hollywood shows soft cleavage with lights and sounds that scream “sex”, and the Christian churches jump to their feet and agree.
We’re bombarded on both fronts with the same message: bodies are sex. Hollywood tells us to get naked and indulge in sex, while Christian society tells us to cover up and spurn it. And they’re both wrong. Which brings us back to our goal of finding the root of the pornography problem.
The root of the problem, then, is that we have horribly distorted and mutated the innocent view of bodies. This becomes self-evident with a simple question: How does Heavenly Father react to your nude body? The answer, I believe, is that he does not see a nude body. He only sees you — his child — and feels love.
When Heavenly Father looks on us, he sees souls. Sadly, when many men (and a surprising number of women too, I understand) look on the opposite gender, their view is tainted by sexuality. Some are able to deal with that. But others struggle with it. To make matters worse, many have a natural, innocent curiosity about what the other gender looks like, intensified by the fact that bodies are so hidden. The obvious and easiest place to satisfy curiosity about sex and bodies is pornography. This is horribly devastating. As soon as these poor souls start looking at pornography, the sexual view of bodies is burned deeply into their minds. From this moment on, they nearly can’t visualize the other gender nude in a non-sexual way. The other gender ceases to be souls and becomes walking sex objects. Innocence is completely lost.
We make a very sad mistake when we assume that we should cure these people by filtering their Internet connection or installing a porn blocker. That may keep them from seeing porn, but there remain deeply distorted perceptions about bodies and sex.
I started re-reading The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis and loved this passage from the Prologue: “I do not think that all who choose wrong roads perish; but their rescue consists in being put back on the right road. A wrong sum can be put right: but only by going back till you find the error and working it afresh from that point, never by simply going on. Evil can be undone, but it cannot “develop” into good. Time does not heal it. The spell must be unwound, bit by bit …”
We assume that if we can get the porn addict away from the porn that they will be able to move on from it. But this is fundamentally wrong. To really help the porn addict heal, we must “unwind” the problem — go back and correct the thought patterns and perceptions that have been altered and mutated. We have to heal their minds and souls. If we can put their perceptions right, pornography will lose its appeal.
Enter the remedy and relief — nudism. Chaste nudity can be very healing. This seems counter-intuitive, but taking off your clothes in a chaste, innocent environment is a wonderful way to heal distorted body perceptions.
How does nudism heal perceptions? It takes the body — the object that has been charged with so much sexuality — and brings it back into reality. Sexually charged imagery exists in a world of false perceptions and fantasy. When you remove the body from the imagination and expose it in reality, the fantasy and fiction fly away very quickly. Even the most beautiful bodies turn out to be just a lot of pale skin, body hair, blemishes, wrinkles, and odd fat distributions. When this happens, the porn addict is left disillusioned and sexually-charged reactions disappear.
When the sexuality is swept away and just a body is left standing there, a surprising thing happens. We begin to see the person inside of the body. And then our perceptions come closer to Heavenly Father’s. The body starts to slip as the primary focal point and we begin to see a soul instead. Eventually, the body becomes the clothing of the soul, and that is a beautiful reality to arrive at.
The end result is that warped thought patterns and perceptions are healed at the root. From then on, the person views bodies in a healthy way. They are liberated from the sexual overtones that are spread all over pop culture. Victoria’s Secret models now seem ridiculous; it feels sad that they have so little respect for themselves beyond their bodies. As to pornography, it becomes clear that it is a lie, a fiction that has no root in reality.
It is hard for American Christians to come to terms with all of this. They have a profoundly strong belief that nudity must be perverse and sexually deviant. The strange truth is, it can be very innocent and wholesome. I struggle to explain this or reason it out, but anyone who has experienced it can testify to it. In a truly innocent setting, sexuality just drips away.
American Christian society also cannot understand how nudity could be modest. But it happens that taking off a swimming suit can be more modest than keeping it on. Swimming suits both emphasize and hide “private” areas and then leave your mind to fill in the blanks. Your mind will always fill in the blanks much better than reality will. Take off the swimming suit and all of a sudden it’s just a body — surprisingly less attractive than you thought, and without all of Hollywood’s music and lights, the sexual charge disappears.
If one part of the nude body is visually more emphasized than the others, it is only because we aren’t used to seeing it. Once you adjust to the sight of it, the body becomes just one continuous covering — clothing of the soul. Contrast this with current attitudes, where this body is the sum of the “private” areas. It reminds me of Ephesians where the church is described in terms of a body, where no part is superior to any other. That is the way it should be.
In regards to modesty, nudists come to realize that modesty is far more about the way you conduct and carry yourself than what you wear. I have seen girls that were incredibly immodest in the way they walked and flaunted themselves, even though their hemlines met church standards. On the other hand, a girl can carry herself with dignity and purity and no sexual overtones, even if she is unclothed.
But again, American Christians struggle to come to terms with this. Their warped perceptions of the body are, in many ways, just as severe as the porn addict’s, but towards the other end of the spectrum. In my view, these souls need as much healing as the porn addict.”
Thank you for sharing your view point it was very informative!! I have always wondered how nudists come to view things the way they do. While I respect your opinion, I don’t agree with it completely. Sexual attraction between man and woman is natural, something God put in us. There’s nothing wrong with being aroused by someone who is attractive its a natural thing that happens. When Adam saw Eve for the first time he burst out in poetry because she was very beautiful. What you decide to do with those feelings is what matters and where many go wrong. Also, it was only after sin came into the world when Adam and Eve made fig leaves for themselves. If that was a problem, something that God didn’t like and that would cause probelms, then why did he give them “long garments” to put on?(Genesis 3:21) Why does the Bible encourage women to (and we can apply this to all) “adorn themselves in well-arranged dress, with modesty and soundness of mind?” 1 Timothy 2:9. Its true modest dress in itself dosnt make the person good. One should focus on the ‘secret person of the heart’ as well (1 peter 3:3,4). That would seem to me that God would want us to wear clothes. His son wore clothes, in fact he had a very nice garment. Why wasn’t he a nudist? Christ set the example for us did he not? Why didn’t he make it clear that one should be a nudist? If what you say are “clearly the words of the Lord” then why didn’t Jesus follow his own advice???? 1 Peter 2:21 says he ‘left a model for us to follow his steps closely.’ Did he leave us a model reflecting nudity? No!
With no sexual attraction to the opposite sex how does a person enjoy sex? Does a nudist have sex? I don’t view my wife as an object, but I’ll be honest her naked body gets me going and it should!!!! The Bible says that such relations are normal. Proverbs speaks very frankly by saying ‘that a man should rejoice with the wife of his youth and that her breasts should intoxicate him at all times and to be in an ecstasy together constantly.’(Proverbs 5:17-19) Genesis 26:8,9 Refers to Isaac having a ‘good time’ with his wife. How does that occur if you don’t have that kind of attraction by being a nudist? Look at the Song of Solomon. That’s a good example of two people being in love and showing how attracted they were to each other physically and also to their good qualities that they had. Even Solomon was very attracted to her beauty. Abishag was spoken of as being “Beautiful in the extreme.” There are many other examples. My point is this, the Bible is very clear that one can have a balanced view of the opposite sex and does not condemn sexual attraction, but rather encourages self-control, getting the mastery over your emotions by relying on him and his word (Ephesians 5:3, Colossians 3:5). It is true we can fixate on things that we cant see, curiosity may arise, but we still have the choice weather to do that or not. There are many people who wear clothes and are able to control their feelings. Its true that “Swimming suits both emphasize and hide “private” areas and then leave your mind to fill in the blanks. Your mind will always fill in the blanks much better than reality will.” But, I and everyone else have a CHOICE not to think that way. I have a choice to fill in the blanks and fantasize and I have a choice not to. I have the ability to control my emotions. I have a choice to not keep looking and I don’t!! Your thinking would lead people to believe that that is impossible to do and that the only way is to devoid oneself of sexual attraction completely by becoming a nudist. That is just not true. I agree that when God sees our naked bodies he sees a son or a daughter, but he also created sexual attraction between man and woman not only for the purpose of procreation, but also for a way a husband and wife can enjoy each other. These feelings can be controlled by following the advice He gave us in his word and the power he imparts to us. Its possible to do without being a nudist. The early christians remained faithful with clothes on and many are doing it today. The fact is many CHOOSE not to. The problem lies not in the creation, how we are made, but in the heart of the individual. We can choose not to be influenced by what we see around us to the point of making wrong choices. We CAN control what develops in our hearts by what we choose to take in through our minds. Its so true that an internet blocker wont solve the problem completely one must change who they are on the inside. But a person can transform who they are on the inside without being a nudist. By being a nudist what if someone who is trying to overcome porn sees that person and is stumbled into sin?? Something to think about. Jesus said it ‘would be better for a mill stone to be tied around someones neck and thrown into the sea than to stumble someone.’ The real “root” of the problem is inherited sin and imperfection from our first parents and due to the works of the Devil. Everyone is affected in some way. It could be with sex, drinking, eating, materialism, we all struggle. Even the apostle Paul struggled with his imperfections day after day after becoming a christian as we see from his letter to the Romans(Chapter 7). But he had help to fight those temptations and so do we! The sexual attraction that we were created with is not wrong, its the abusing of, the degrading of it that makes it wrong.
Alex why did u remove my post,i simply asked for help(user name as tony)
Just to say that I have been addicted to porn since I got the internet in 1996. Thats 16 dark years. Amazingly this site some how has helped me survive 3 weeks without it. I am so afraid of falling off the wagon . But I am doing this minute by minute. I watch my breathing> I now feel worthy of this second chance to save myself and my beautiful family . I am lucky . You can be too.
Greetings. I will just like to post something for you that i had already posted as a reply:
I will like you to prayerfully read this website: http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-TheChain-ann.htm. You will see things that you have never ever questioned in your entire life but most importantly, open your heart to the saving power of the Lord Jesus Christ. Christianity is not a religion, it is a WAY OF LIFE. Only Jesus Christ can forgive, restore and lead you to all truths including the truth about the human body. I can assure you that it will shake your very foundation of belief and it will require something very drastic but if you see the truth for the truth, you will end up walking away from porn without the desire to have fellowship with it any longer!!! God bless you always.
so today i relapsed. But thats okay, we gotta dust ourselves off and get back on our feet
we will win!
It happens… The more I think about it, recovery is not really about achieving sobriety, its about minimising our relapses and maximising the good sober times in our lives as much as possible
Greetings, one of the reasons why i believe that pornography has such power and hold over its victim is because we have been socially and culturally trained to accept a false perception or view of the male and female human body for so long. Through the media outlets, we have been feed this false perception because in our minds we accept them as a matter of fact. To be able to overcome this problem, we need JESUS CHRIST to change our hearts where the sin comes from (sin of lust, selfishness and self-centeredness) and then we need to also uncover the lies that keep us bounded to pornography. Victory over a addiction is not measured in “how long we have not been in it” but it is by accepting the truth and living by the truth through the power of the Holy Spirit!!! Have a blessed day.
So im pretty sure I have a problem I am watching it at work sneaking away to a bathroom every chance I get. Other times im thinking about it. The worst I have is in a church. Idk I just cant stop myself sometimes and now with these superphones it is getting worse am I alone in these actions?
You are sure not alone. Not at all. Just visit our forum and you’ll see
I am also glad that you became aware of the problem, now the real change is possible!
Alex
Damn this is not easy. I delete and delete then I find myself downloading more again. There is no end to it. I grow.more disgusted with myself every day. Idk what to do. I am completely ashamed of myself.
Hi everyone, i will like to post this important link for you all to read it: ——–. God bless you all.
My apologies, I know you meant well, but I had to remove this link since it contained nudity and it could be very triggering for some of our readers. Personally I also strive to avoid such information just to stay on the safe site, and I would appreciate if you will refrain from posting such links in the future.
Please do feel free to summarise the point of this link in the reply comment, post it on our forum, or as a guest post on the main site.
Regards,
Alex
Apology accepted. I understand that people will take offence with the site i put on, but you see that only magnifies the problem. I used to believe for years from childhood that a woman’s body is seductive in nature and that her exposure to any part of her body, i.e. the breast, will cause a man to stumble and lust, but like i said in my earlier post,the true problem has never been about the woman’s body all along, it is the distorted, misguided and perverted view point of our body which has been hammered again and again through the media and pornography. The truth is pornography is only a reflection or outcome of a much bigger and greater problem in our society.
Hi Alex~
I’m the wife of a recovering porn and sex addict. I’ve seen your website before and landed here again today. I noticed the Forum link and clicked on it, wondering if it would be something my husband might be interested in. I’ve participated in similar boards/forums when our son joined the Army and found them especially helpful when he was deployed to Iraq. So I’m familiar with the ‘concept’ of these boards and the support that they can provide. I was surprised, however, that your board is fully accessible from what I can see, except for looking at members’ profiles. I was wondering why this is, and if the members might feel more comfortable and ‘safe’ participating if they knew that others can’t just ‘happen’ onto the forum and see their innermost thoughts and struggles? Is there some way you can make it private and readable only by those who have registered and signed in?
On the flip-side, I can also see that by leaving it as it is, there might be ‘lurkers’ (guests) who may not feel comfortable registering in the forum but who may actually benefit from reading through the threads as they struggle with their own addiction.
I was just curious, I guess in part, because I recently joined a forum for wives of porn addicts which is totally private, but I’m still a little nervous about posting anything on there, even knowing that only those registered can see my posts. If the forum was ‘open’ as yours is, I probably wouldn’t ever post!
Thank you for sharing your story and for providing the info and tools for those struggling with this addiction.
Thank you for your feedback. I generally encourage people to create fake emails to use for forum posting, to help further protect their identity.
That being said, I’ve created a private forum that is only visible to and accessible by our registered visitors. Of course you’ll have to be registered to see it
Thank you for your and your son’s service. Being mother of a soldier is probably harder work than being the soldier. I am saying this as an Iraqi Vet myself
Semper Fi,
Alex
Hello again~
Thanks for your reply, but now you have me wondering where the private forum is, because it’s not the one here at this website that’s got the ‘Forum’ tab you see if you scroll way up to the top of this page?
Yes, being an Army Mom is a really difficult job, especially when they’re deployed. Thanks for your service too.
I am sorry that I confused you; it all seem to make sense in my head
Basically if you go inside the forum, the one that you can see from the “Forum” tab at the top of the page, you’ll see a list of sub-forums that we have available: General, Recovery Journals etc. I’ve added a new sub-forum in there, titled “Private Forum” but it will not be visible to guests, only to registered user, so you’ll have to register with our forum to be able to see it.
Please let me know if you have any questions,
Alex
How do I get my boyfriend to understand he ” is addicted to porn”? His excuse is always everyone does it. It is normal. Im ready to take the kids and leave. I went so far as to tell his family thinking they could help me. Now he bought a memory card keeps it locked in his van. It has 400+ pics of t and a. On his I phone no pics of his family. How do I get help for him? People see him on his phone at work. He wakes up early and plays on his phone for 30-40 min before work and when he comes good he is Im the bathroom for an hour. He has to drive while watching porn.
I REALLY NEED HELP TO HELP MY BF.
Hi Lisa,
Sorry to hear about your situation. Getting through to an addict is the hardest part. I would recommend letting him know that unless he will stop his behavior this relationship is over, because you are not willing to take it anymore. At the same time let him know that if he is willing to stop, you don’t expect him to be perfect and that there is a lot of help available for him, and a lot of men who have gone exactly through what he is going to. May be you can refer him to some of the personal stories on our forum, just to see if he will relate.
Regards,
Alex
Thank you. I sent him an email from this site and others. He got very upset and said for me to stop being paranoid.. All I ever hear is everyone does it that it is normal. I have told him I was leaving. I have told him it is causing problems in our relationship. Nothing works. I asked him to go see a professional and ask them if he has a problem. Once I leave I will not come back. I wish there is another way to help him instead of just leaving and not helping him. This has been going on for about 3 years our baby is 2 1/2. This really is making me HATE him. How do you help someone that thinks they do not have a problem? Im so lost and confused. . . . . . Tears. . .
Unfortunately there is only so much you can do. If you ever watched a show called intervention, you could tell that a lot of people get similar help from their families, go to the treatment facilities and yet some people end up going back to drugs, and some recover and change their lives. Why such difference? Because individuals have their role to play.
I suggest you do get really serious with your boyfriend, if he is the kind that is not willing to better himself, no matter how much support you will provide him, I think you and you child would be better of without him. It is up to him to prove to you that he is worthy of you.
Hi Alex.
I am a Student in High School right now. Actually I was thinking of some good social service for the world which I can do to be different. I want to pursue my studies in Ivy League University. I have been through all these problems and now I realize there are so many people in this world who are not able to live their lives to the fullest because of this. I think it would a great to help you out with your website and in promoting this and spreading the message. By this I can actually do a lot, for this world. Hence, I request you to offer me some sort of work or duty which I can do. Thanks. Please mail me. I’ll help you to promote your website.
I wanted to say thank you for your generous offer. Unfortunately I am concerned that putting something like helping this site on your resume will actually do more harm than good for you. There is a lot of stigma associate in our society to pornography and sex addiction, and it will take some time before people will begin to recognize it for what it is. Until then I believe you would benefit more from helping a traditional addiction recovery sites or facility.
Okay,Thanks.
Hi Alex.
I am a Student in High School right now. Actually I was thinking of some good social service for the world which I can do to be different. I want to pursue my studies in Ivy League University. I have been through all these problems and now I realize there are so many people in this world who are not able to live their lives to the fullest because of this. I think it would a great to help you out with your website and in promoting this and spreading the message. By this I can actually do a lot, for this world. Hence, I request you to offer me some sort of work or duty which I can do. Thanks. Please mail me. I’ll help you to promote your website.
Hi again. Please refer to the next comment as the email provided in this post is wrong. Thanks
hello, i have been addicted to internet porn for about 10 years. it has drained alot of life out of me and destroyed my confidence in many situations. i often use it as a fall back or crutch to self medicate pains worries stress and anxiety away. i got to a point where i was watching porn/on chat sites for entire days. loosing sleep and suffering exhausting days at work. the final blow was when my porn habit excalated to themes outside of my sexual orientation. this cause me severe anxiety and stress. i have since been on a quest to stop. it has been six months and i have had several relapses. each relapse i step up security and try to solve the issue that lead to the relapse. ive read your recovery course and i have been applying it to my life. im just really down and out on these relapses. currently the longest i went was 36 days. after that i went about 20 days. and here we are today. my question is how can i prevent these relapses?i feel very hopeless right now.
Hey Smith, the best thing you can do is sign up for the forums and start a recovery journal, it helps so much getting support from others, and reading about other people successes and victories. Best of luck
I just wanted to say that among other things, the “yourbrainonporn” web-site tells about a lot of things people who use porn do that they wouldn’t normally do, and one of them is turning to same-sex porn. Just so you know, you are definitely not alone with that. It’s actually a lot more common than most people know.
i am watchin porn fron 13 yrs and now I m 15 how to stop this addiction want help I m not able to share this with any1 plzzzzzzzzzz help me out
Hey. I am in a similar situation to you. It doesn’t seem like I can stop either. I did the 21 day free recovery course, but I soon returned to my ways. Are you religious at all? We can help each other.
Hi guys,
Just wanted to remind you that I never claimed that 21 days of free recovery course will cure you. My only aim was to teach you the basics, to give you the tools that you can apply to better yourself. But now you have to go out there, and live it on daily basis. Some days better, some days worse. But try to do your best.
Ask yourself, did I do everything I could to get better? Do I take effort to be more connected to others? Did you join a 12 step group or similar community? Did you sign up for a forum? Do you journal and analyze your hidden believes and actions on an ongoing basis? Do you take care of your body, mind, and spirit on an ongoing basis? All of this is very important, and without it you will not have any lasting change.
Alex
this is some fucked up shit right here.
I don’t know if I’d call that language necessary… I don’t know about your “name”, either. It sounds like it might be anti-semetic… do you have a specific and helpful point to add?
Hey I have been off and on with my addiction, im 16. I lost my beautiful girlfriend not because of addiction to porn but because of my addiction to intercourse with her. well anyways I need help, i spend about an hour a day and i feel sickly yet relieved after doing it. I mean if I had another girl I would be off of it, I am a spiritual being, and the material world is not my way. What can I do to deter it, another friend? or should I just read books, idk!
unless if I’m incorrect, as far as I know, the flesh of our bodies is part of the material world, too.
One of the biggest misconceptions in this addiction is that a girlfriend/wife/”really hot chick” will cure it. Unfortunately, that’s simply not true. I not only know from personal experience but hear it all the time from other addicts I meet with.
I first time while watching porn did my erp and i am shocked to see that i quite as soon as i entered.I am really happy to avoid it for the first time.This is real happiness. Just do your erp as soon as you feel trigered.Erp worked like magic. Hope everyone may recover as soon as possible.
hey what do i do after a relapse which came after 25 day of no online porn
Dust yourself off and try again. Its all about progress, not perfection. I wish I could do as good as you did but im gonna get there.
Amen.
I also agree 100%
Don’t worry none of us is alone. It is very common. I have been into porn for 25 years, but things have gotten out of control in the last 5. I’m trying really hard to pull out of this. — One of the most chilling things i ever saw was when Ted Bundy was interviewed the night before his execution. He basically said that all of the psychos he had come across had one thing in common: a unhealthy love for porn. It made me realize that porn appeals to a very dangerous, dark and unhealthy aspect of ourselves. The good news is, if you desire to pull out of it strongly enough, it can be overcome. But you have to WANT IT BADLY. Understand, that it literally destroys your life. All of my brothers and sisters out there, STAY STRONG!!!
Thank you for those words. Very interesting about pornography appealing to a dark aspect of our lives. I certainly see this. Always stay strong and remember its about progress not perfection. I look forward to finally breaking this hold pornography and masturbation has had on my life for so long.
A book that really helped me is the little pilgrims progress it talks about a christian walk and the way it should be but its demonstrated through a boy named christian who is trying to get to the celestial city and at one time he was bound by evil in fetters( chains) and it represents sin i realized i had thise fetters and they were porn addiction. I decided i was done and my chains fell off ive been set free my Lord and my God has rescued me.
i am undergoing my recovery plan . i started this plan before two days and suddenly i was alone in home for two days and I couldn’t seriously control myself.I am felling very low, what happened was it usual. If i continue will it work for me. Please help???????
NOT TONIGHT, Inc.
Amid the flurry of new terminology coming to my ears sexual addiction is one that has permeated throughout western society. As if it could be tampered with, altered. I thought (personal) sexual drives control were beyond our reach and at least for me, a midlife straight man, I haven’t still been able to harness the damn thing! It’s still under my libido’s strict management… And rightly so: mother nature programmed us, species of the two genres, to not be able to discuss the (once generally accepted) attraction but only the “terms and conditions” in order to keep the stork busy. Healthily.
Well, in the course of the late 20th century (and please don’t argue that history is not being written now, by us, the rightful owner of the truth), something went awry and things seem to have changed a bit and it’s certainly due to science advancement no doubt : We now allegedly possess the ability to emerge and shake free from the primitive shackles of basic instinct statute. Out of the closet after millions of years of humming and hawing since the dawn of humanity we reportedly recently achieved the mastery and ultimate control of the (soon doomed) human specie’s evolution and who should we attribute this feat to ? Apparently not to the feminists this time around. Rather to a for profit group of people e.g. therapists, eager to coin, spread (and sell) new and exciting last frontier material: the heyday of civilization. Booya!
This is trial and error at its worse : Were we to gain command of our sex drives -and its subsequent criminalization- the dusk of humanity would be ever near and I’d be left alone, stranded on barren shores, bathed in my own unspoiled, raging testosterone, crossing the desert of the long gone smart minis.
The reality is that some still have headaches and others don’t. We’re all different in our energy distribution and allocation but some eternally think that they are the truth bearers. Good old politics.
To my eyes it’s one more sad episode of the endless attempt the prevent people, our peers, from sharing the most natural and healthy common ground between them because in this life there’s nothing more dangerous than being caught in the act of experiencing pleasure.
Now, that’s control !
Hey i am 17 year old-
Its been a month that I haven’t watched online pornography.
I was able to – not to click on that pornographic stuff on the internet even while using my laptop esp. when I was alone. It feels great.
But I still haven’t been able to leave my habit of masturbation although I have been able to reduce its frequency(once per 3 or 4 days).
I just want to remove this biggest thorn from my life so that I can Live my Life to the fullest and study hard.
Kicking the thought of watching online pornography from my mind is not that tough now but I would like the fellow readers and especially Alex to give me advice on how to get rid of my habit of masturbation all at once.
Last of all I would like to thanks Alex for creating such a wonderful website to help others who are suffering from this problem.
Hey, R&R! I’m no Alex, but I see he hasn’t posted in over a month, so I figured I’d try to encourage you myself. I lead a recovery support group for guys like you and I, and I can say that what you’re experiencing is completely normal! You were at a critical stage when you posted this, I hope you were able to stay the course until now. The truth is, there’s nothing harder than making it past that first month of sobriety. However, if you can make it past three months, things will become much easier for you! By then, your brain will be creating new neuro-pathways that don’t involve acting out.
The fact that you can’t seem to resist the urge to masturbate every 3-4 days is perfectly normal as well! You probably don’t want to talk menstrual cycles, but just as women have natural cycles, the male body desires sexual release every 48-72 hours at your age. Pornography only heightens this desire, but the good news is that once you’ve experienced a longer sober period, it will get easier to rid yourself of this “thorn” as well! Then you really will start living life to the full:)
Thanks pfreedude for jumping in. I have been very busy lately as you’ve correctly noted.
I just wanted to say that I do agree that it is normal for a 17 year old to want to masturbate. I generally do not give advice on abstaining from masturbation for people who are single, just because I’ve never experienced this myself. But if you decide that it is okay for you to masturbate, I would encourage outlining a set of rules (i.e. only 2 times a week, and no more than 1 time a day with no visual stimulation). Just find what make sense to you and doesn’t feel wrong. That way you know in black and white if your are taking care of your health needs, or if you are using masturbation to abuse your sexuality.
I addicted to sex at the age of 8,i make so many vows to overcome but i never…..let see…. I STARTED TODAY….
Thank you Alex
I come to this site. it seems unbelievable that so much information is given for free.
I am starting a journey to sobritity.
Thank you.
Hello Alex and everyone in this amazing life saving website,
First I like to mention that I was sevearly addicted to porn, up untill few months ago that I came to this website, I have been sobor for at least three months, the reason I dont know exactly how long is because I cant find the post that I put on this website the day that I masturbated 3 times and looked online for help and came across this absolotly life saving websie. after doing what alex tought me now I am completly sobor! just make sure follow tow main steps. First breathing and second your goals for why wanting to stop (very important) after seeing your poupose for it you can stop yourself and do some breathing and bring yourself back. life, sex, work, motivation, ambitoin, creativity, strenght, and everything else has been better, more, and amazing. Please Please stop and taste the real life PLEASE STOP
Alex,
have you deleted any posts? my post was my motivation and I cant find it
it was in 29th of some month sep or Aug I dont know. I hope you didnt delete it, I didnt have any bad or obsiene comments!
I find it doubtful that any post would be deleted (unless it contained spam, obscenities, abuse or triggering material. Did you post anything that someone else would find triggering? IE. Overly descriptive regarding your masturbation or pornography?)
Due to the high volume of content this website graciously provides, there are so many pages that I myself have gotten lost amongst them. Perhaps you did not post it on this main page, but instead on another one?
It might take some time, but if it is extremely important to you I would suggest surfing around all the FTRW pages. Perhaps you will find your comment posted elsewhere?
Good luck and I wish you strength in continuing your sobriety!
I thank you for putting up this site. I have struggled for years with this addiction, all my adult life really. I understand the triggers and the feelings that porn feeds on. I have them and they possess me and control me. I am going to try focusing on the breathing and feeding the right wolf. No question that the feelings on the light side make for a better life.
please reply anyone please………. please
Visit the forum and you will likely receive many helpful replies! Plus the opportunity for growth, comfort and help with sobriety are just some of the many benefits found there.
http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/forum/
Thanks A lot… i thought nobody is going to relpy me
Hello All,
its nice to read all the articles on this website.I have tried some but in the end i succumb to my desire of watching porn.
The reason for this is i am 25 years old and i dont have a girlfriend in my life.Which makes me feel very frustrating to overcome this frustration i watch porn and masturbates.I proposed a girl at my workplace but she refused that made me even more addicted to porn. i want to quit this addiction and live a happy and healthy life.I do realize that simply having a girlfriend is not the objective of my life but i just cant overcome this feeling.Please help.
please tell me how can i contact anyone through mail or phone who can help me…plzzzz
With all due respect, you sound like the typical porn/sex addict. One resource is to find a local SA (Sex-aholics Anonymous) 12 Step group, study this site, Candeocan.com, the Church, etc.
But the main thing I want to say to you and everyone out there with this problem: It’s not going to go away just because you get a girlfriend or get married. It’s a very typical story to hear about a person getting into a relationship but not stopping. They even say it’s HARDER to stop when you’re in a relationship! So what I’m trying to say is ultimately, if you’ve got a problem like this and don’t have it handled, I hope I’m not breaking too many hearts out there when I say this, but in my opinion, you aren’t really quite ready for a relationship at this point. Get sober first and stay that way. I know it’s easier said than done, but just put the shoe on the other foot for a minute, and you’ll probably see things the way I do. Imagine being in a relationship with a person addicted to anything (alcohol or sex or crack, etc.) and they’re what’s known as “wet” (using). Would you really want that person to be raising your kids or even count on them for a ride home from work when your car breaks down?
In all the 12 Step programs they say at the end of every meeting after a prayer: “Keep coming back!” so take heart and thanks from me, too, Alex.:)
I just wanted to add, I know that might sound judgmental to some, but really, if anyone is in a committed relationship and lusting after someone other than their spouse (not that “lust” is OK, either…), I go by what Jesus said about that… and I know it’s easier said than done, and to be fair, I’m not in any position to criticize.
that’s why I’m here:)
Please I want to stop my porn. I even have a weird website I might shut down. PS thx and fcrcftcftcrcrtcrtrtfrtftrdrdrdededrerxrxdrxdrrexdrxexrexrexrerxrxedrexrderedr
Can you guys tell me where you got such awesome porn?
Juvenile.
Get yourself back to Comedy 101, to be held back for the fifth time.
Alex,
Thank you for putting yourself out there like this for us to gain strength from!
May I personally take this opportunity to suggest to those who have a firm belief, and would like to incorporate Jesus Christ into their recovery. See if there is an LDS family resources Addiction Recovery Support Group in your area. It is a 12 step program similar to AA that has helped me more than I could ever say.
How do I contact you? I can’t find an email..
I just wanted to tell you your site is great and more sites like this need to exist!
Thank you, you can click on the envelope icon at the top of the site to contact me by email.
Thank you. Viewing pornography is my long-time problem, I failed many times, but stood up and continued (and I’m still falling). I tried many methods, prayers and so, but your free recovery program is like water for the man in the desert… I also appreciate that it’s free, I can’t afford to pay horrible prices for courses or therapies.
By the way, where are you from? (as you wrote that English isn’t your first language)
I am from Belarus originally, thanks for asking
Thanks this website helps.
I am working towards a life without porn and this website has been helpful. I wish everyone luck that is really trying to “quit”. It is a process and I believe the information on this website is going to aid myself and others in their recovery. Thank you!
Currently 2 weeks into my recovery and have been able to manage any craving by working out or cleaning. I plan to use this blog as a way to support myself and others. If anyone would like to join me in giving daily or weekly updates on your recovery feel free.
hey Alex, yes i know online pornography is very devastating
is masturbation equally bad?
Dear Alex really thanks for keeping such a user friendly website.I have been in this addiction for 4 fours and i am still not 18.I tried many ways to keep myself out of porn.But max. i would stay out of it for a week.I am hoping that this site would help me come out my situation.May GOD bless !!
hi… can i get some efficient tips so that i can try my 100% to give up or control this addiction.i am losing my life because of this addiction.help me
Have you seen this article yet? http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2010/05/how-to-stop-porn-addiction-stop-watching-porn/
@abe3 – Ultimately, it depends on the person. For me, yes it is an aid and I can agree that this is one step towards recovery. I masturbate all the time with no porn. The problem is, it is NOT a solution. Porn will still slip in from time to time (in my case, about once a month, and then it can last for a few days). Which is why I’m here now…
I have stopped for 5 days and it is difficult. Has anyone tried just masturbating with no porn? Could this be one step towards recovery?
Hi…. i am a porn addict since 5years.Now,i realize tht this addiction is going to spoil my future.i am unable to do wat i want.its increasing day by day.please help me
Please read through our free recovery course, I think you’ll find it helpful. http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/porn-addiction-recovery-course/
this was sure helpful.Thank you. i haveve been able to control it for about 3 days. i am trying my best
im using World of Warcraft to break my addiction but now im Addicted to WoW:(
Most addicts jump from one addiction to another. (Even most non-addicts have something they are currently preoccupied with above all else..)
I think the key is to acknowledge this trait about yourself and to stay aware of addictive tendencies when they begin arising then refocus it on things you find positive in your life. Sort of channeling that addictive focus into areas of your life you would like to give more energy to.
Hi Alex, I was wondering what healthy activities should we do after the ERP? Should it lower our pulse or higher it? Could you give me exampes
I think anything that gets your mind of addictive stuff will work, I made a list of things that work for me here: http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2009/08/67-healthy-and-funthings-to-do-in-your/
The thing I don’t understand is how I can keep watching even though I am not having physical arousal. It’s like it is mostly a need for my brain. It’s like watching is more important than actual sex. I’ve quit tobacco, drinking and drugs but I’ve never been able to quit porn longer than a month.
The physical dependency is in your brain. You may not be experiencing genital arousal but your brain is still rapidly firing. It is this neurological response that is responsible for the addiction.
Most likely the lack of physical arousal is a result of your addiction. You abuse something long enough and the effects you begin to experience are much greater than simply needing escalated material.
Good luck in your journey; the longer you wait to begin tackling this problem, the more symptoms such as this you will suffer through.
Alex. Thanks a lot. This is amazing page. I have also problem with pornography like many others. Actually I’ve been once at your page like year ago and start my recovery program and it went really really well. But from time to time I still have some downs. So I decided to become part of this “project” (if i can call it like that) and be more active and helpful for others. Keep doing a good job my friend
Thank you for all your help you give! Someday I will do a good donation to this website!
I’m a vitilligo person since 17, am very depressed
Hi there! Am glad to hve found this helpful site! Hoping can help me out! I’m 28 year old and am trying to be a Christian person, it all started when I was 10 year-old when I had intercourse with the pornography;in the beginning it was fun and joyful, I used to masturbate almost every day bt I started to be lonley at school and bein afraid to flirt to any girls then and I jst continue to grew up and at age 17 I had jst fed up of all this vicious cicle! And I started to cut it of by my self 4 several years with no being sober. 3 years ago I reach the point of suicide cuz I read bible and am try to going church bt always I see my self defeated, now I don’t doit dialy bt when I fall again I spend almost a week day and night whatchig porn and masturbating all day! I’m so scared! Cuz I think I tryed all I can try!!! I’m lack in feith! Thinking suicide is the only option cuz is the only way of no offend god! I recognised tht god has helped me a lot!- — I never seen a psychiatric and belive! I jst had 1 girfrend in my life, and I’m very depressed now tht it hurtsme till bones! What I do??? I knw my story is unbelievable bt is TRUE! I’m fraid to date a woman cuz I coudlnt get satisfied her! I had many many thinks to say I’m fraid off, many believings, please repply back!!! Sorry if I don’t write enough! Am still leering 2nd lenguage; god bless you!! And bless this site!
Alex, thank you so much for sharing your story and wisdom about this addiction. Thanks to your help, I was able to walk away from porn for the first time in my life after being addicted for 6 years. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and wish you the best of luck on your road to recovery. God bless you.
Hi, I am able to stay sober from watching porn for only 3-4 weeks. I then return to same old watching porn. how can I maintain soberity?
Hi Ammar,
It is an ongoing process. It is very hard to try once and stop for every. Just try to take it little at a time. You went for 3 weeks once, try to repeat that again. Than may be try to go for 4 weeks, than for 5 weeks and so forth. Once you’ll be able to go for 3 months without acting out, it will become much easier.
I used to measure my freedom from porn by counting how many weeks and months i have stayed away from porn, but here is unfortunately the problem with this kind of thinking; if you keep counting “how long it has been since you last saw porn, it means that YOU ARE EXPECTING TO FALL AGAIN!!!” I know this can be hard to swallow, but believe me, that is how it is (i know). True freedom can only come from knowing Jesus Christ and also in regards to porn addiction coming to know the truth that can set us free from the lies that keeps us in bondage to pornography. I will like you to prayerfully read this website: http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-TheChain-ann.htm. You will see things that you have never ever questioned in your entire life but most importantly, open your heart to the saving power of the Lord Jesus Christ. Christianity is not a religion, it is a WAY OF LIFE. Only Jesus Christ can forgive, restore and lead you to all truths including the truth about the human body. I can assure you that it will shake your very foundation of belief and it will require something very drastic but if you see the truth for the truth, you will end up walking away from porn without the desire to have fellowship with it any longer!!! God bless you always.
totally agree
it would make me happy if you answered me.and I want to make excuse for my writing. it could be strnge because I’m living far far away from your country and need your emargency help,sir.
Hi,
I am around but could be slow to response since I am very busy with my graduate school work. There is even more help from our members available on our forum http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/forum/. But feel free to contact me any time. You can find my email, at the top of the site, just click on the envelope icon.
Regards,
Alex
I couldn’t do anything please just tell me HOw I can kill myself,I cann’t stop it.please tell me how to End everything,please.I’m tired of this life.tell they way no body can understand I killed myself,you are the best friend in mylife because you tried to stop my addiction.
thank you for all of them
Be Strong!!!
it is good that u r trying to stop. the problem when u watch it and love to do so.
its better to die trying than die Surrender
sir alex,after I’d learned about your recovery course I was realy happy and I was trying to do it.but after a while because I had alot of perdicments I couldn’t countinue it.now,after 3mounth I’m trying and trying it again,today after 2weeks l was hime alone and I tried to study but unfortunality I gave in.would it be ok if I asked for help ing me please.
that’s great
oh and hello guys.
Happy Holidays!
[img]http://www.muitracker.com/r/images/happy-holidays.jpg[/img]
Hello everyone I need your advice. Do you think I should buy the Kindle Reader? I’m pondering of buying it for my family as a xmas surprise yet I would like to know your recommendations before I get it.
Is there something different better I can get by myself for a comparable price??
Thanks!
thanks realy HELpfull
I like this website and I thank the foundators a lot.
Trying to become member not sure what I am doing wrong.
Sorry for the confusion. What are you trying to register for? Our forum or comment area?
Hey Alex,
may I just say thankyou for this site, I think I visited it a couple of years ago too. I want to beat this thing, so I will go through your materials and articles and also read the truth. If there’s any of the paid ones you can recommend also (Candeo, XXXchurch etc) that’d be great, if I pay the money I’ll be more likely to follow through. Cheers
Personally I’ve paid for Candeo myself in the beginning of my recovery. You can read more about it here. http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2010/08/candeo-can-overcoming-pornography-and/
I currently don’t have any experience with XXXchurch.
I can’t say enough good things about your course! I am a Christian so my comment will be in that regard. “Lust” is a sin! We are ENSLAVED by sin! YOU are helping us THINK …… helping us see there is a way out! You show us things we might not even realize on our own. THANK YOU so much!
Joh 8:34 Jesus answered them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin.
Hey Dave. I respect your religious views, and you are right in having that an attitude to pornography.
But i would respectfully like to point out that for someone trying to get RID of a porn addiction, it is COUNTER-productive to wallow in “guilt” and “shame”. It makes the probability of getting hooked back to porn even greater, as the human brain loves to explore anything forbidden!
The best way is to forgive ourselves first. To accept we have a problem, and to take help of God, friends and family in developing the willpower to resist temptation.
Good luck
I sometimes feel like suicide over years of porn. It has wrecked so many relationships
I just dropped out of an important class because I was finding it overwhelming and just got the internet and turned to porn as a poor choice for a “coping mechanism”. How do you explain that to your friends, family, and co-workers? You are not alone.
Alex, I’ve read through the posts and i think am ready to stop. I have tried but all my efforts bore no fruits. Thank u so much for thz website, it has help me understand that am not alone in this. After masturbating thats when i realize that what i have done is wrong ,then i promise myself that thats gonna be the last time. But it goes on and on, after like 3 days i find myself again in the same cycle. After reading your replies to various posts n from your own testimony, i know i have to change. Thanks so much.
Will I actually feel more tired if I stop masturbating
My old excuse was I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep if I didn’t M. I haven’t completely broken this old habit, yet, but over time I have cut down a lot. I hope to end it almost if not completely. On a web-site called yourbrainobporn, it tells of some people on the other side of the world that don’t even have a word for “masturbation” in their vocabulary! When they were asked about it, they didn’t have a clue as to what it is! “Believe it or not!” Check out that web-site for yourself!
Hello,
I need some help or advice for my husband and me. I strongly believe he has an issue with porn. It all started when I found out that he was watching porn behind my back. For example, he would get on the internet to check his fb or email, and whenever I would fall asleep, he would get into porn sites and be going to be really late.!! I confronted him and said he was going to stop. I thought he did because I wouldnt see anymore porn sites on the computer history. However, I recently found out that NOW he was watching porn EVERY DAY thru his ps3. Same thing…he would play his video game and whenever I would fall asleep, he would change it to porn sites WHILE I AM SLEEPING RIGHT NEXT TO HIM.!! I didnt say anything at first and once again I looked into the ps3 history and he has been watching porn every single day. I kinda wanted to understand him because I am currently pregnant and yes our sex life has changed. But I think it became an addiction when I saw it was an every day thing. Again, I talked him and told him how this “thing” of his is affecting me emotionally. He didnt say a word to me then. The same day I talked him AGAIN bout how I felt about watching porn, he went home and watched porn.! Like I told him, I see that his addiction is more important than my feelings or concern becasue he didnt care how I felt and decided to keep it on doing it. I told him that he needs to get help because I do believe its an addiction he has and if he wants to keep his family together because Im running out of patience. As soon as he got home yesterday, he talked to me and ask me to help him because he didnt want to lose his family. The thing is that I dont know how to help him. So therefore I was wondering if I can get some help/tips on how to help him. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this (:
Hi Anon and welcome,
It breaks my heart that you’ve had to come to this site, but that is unfortunate reality of our society. I’ve attempted to answer your questions in my post http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2010/04/my-husband-watches-porn-addicted-husband/ although it is a very complicated subject.
I want to re-enforce 3 points:
1. You cannot help him, he has to help himself.
2. You have every right to demand for him to change, or else to be gone.
3. Whatever he is going through is not your fault.
My prayers will be with you. Our recovery course might be a good place for your husband to start at, if he is ready to make the change.
Alex
thank you so much for your help and your articles are sure helpful. hopefully we can overcome this phase that he is going thru (:
I am sure you will, but it will probably not be a quick process and it will likely have it’s up and downs.
I am an exhibitionist i was caught by my neighbour my father had to talk to them I have embarassed myself and them can you please help me
First of all, I wanted to say that exhibitionism is far more common than you might think. That being said it is an illegal activity. I don’t know if your neighbor will report you to law enforcements, but if he were you would end up with a sexual offender record.
The reason that I am saying this is to help you realize that your situation is very serious, and I would recommend you to pursue help as aggressively as possible. I would recommend you going into a 12 step program like Sex Addicts Anonymous as soon as possible, I would also encourage you to seek professional help from a licensed practitioner who understands sex addiction.
That being said, I don’t think that you are some kind of monster, you are not. You are confused individual and you’ve made a mistake. Most of people are not perfect, a lot have done things that are illegal, and this stage in your life will come to pass. Do make sure to get help though right now without waiting for things to get worse.
no there are not going to report to the law enforcements do not worry but where should i seek help
You can use this website to get help; most of the recovery techniques discussed here can apply to sex addiction outside of pornography addiction. As Alex said, though, probably the best place to get help is at an SAA meeting. Information can be found at saa-recovery.org.
I’ve lost one marriage and on the brink of possibly loosing another. It is the worst thing ever to come into my life. Porn has robbed me again and again. My heart is the biggest problem and even though I’ve experienced a lot of inner healing with a lot of issues in life it hounds me down and I crumble. Again I am faced with suicide as my only option to eradicate it from my family but I know that is not the answer. If I could step out of my body and kick myself I would do it again and again. Now 40 and just very disappointed with myself. Will it ever end.
Help me God
I believe it can end, but you have to work for it. It is not easy nor does it come naturally.
I’m 13 years old and i want to stop porn addiction and it is really hard can anyone help me please because its going to ruin my life please help?!
Hi Kevin,
I know how you feel. Puberty is a very challenging time and that is when most people first experience just how powerful our sexuality can be. Whatever it is you are going through I want you to know that it is completely normal. It is what you will grow up to be that really matters, not what you do now. As much as I want to help, I think you really need a live person there to help you and to guide you. Do not be afraid to talk to other adults about what you are going through. Is there a male in your life whom you can trust? Perhaps your father, uncle, or a teacher or counselor at school, religious leader?
You have taken the first step, you’ve visited this site. Now find the courage to reach out to others for help.
Best of all to you,
Alex
Well mate, it seems like we have the same problem, but i started to watch porn when i was 5 years old, right now im about a few months to turn 15, so then just imagine, its been like almost ten years under porn control, sometimes i think i just cant stop, like if the rest of my life was just about doing the same all over again. It started by curiosity and a little help of a man who was gifting porn adds to kids at a restaurant, sadly it would seem like if i was destinied to do that, but mate im not, i know it, then let me tell you, i startes to masturbate at the age of 9 it became an addiction because me and one friend started to watch all kinds of it, we enjoyed that, but now i see, it has brought me a lot of problems, im still not free of it, not at all, the more ive stayed sober its like almost a month, thats shameful, even more knowing i am acomplishing every single thing i decide, but this my mate, i still cannot.
I just want to say thank you because this website has helped me fight the battle inside me. I have tried to quit for two years but for some reason i just couldnt do it but now that i have became mentally and spiritually stronger i dont think ill ever go back
Hi there, thanks a bunch. The info I have gotten from this site has been very useful.ts good to have role models to look up to.
I wouldn’t call myself a role model at all, but thank you never the less
Hi,
I have just come through 18 months of marriage counselling due to my husbands porn addiction. It got so out of control for him that he was actually emailing ammature web cam women and telling them how beautiful they were etc, basically trying to pick them up.
It hurt alot when I found the emails because he had always told me he had a “very low sex drive” and he also swore he wasnt contacting anyone and i later found out that was a lie too.
I wasnt aware of his problem until our daughter was 11 months old.
I thought the marriage counselling was helping but found out the other day that he was still doing it. He picks out particular ones he likes and then downloads all he can on that person filing them in their own little folder.
I have asked him why he is doing it again (and has been the whole 18 months we have been attending counselling for it) and he either says “its a compulsion” or he indicates that i am being stupid because he isnt contacting them and trying to form emotional connections with them anymore. “its just like watching any other movie” ” get over it”.
We have no intimate relationship whatsoever anymore – he isnt interested and if he is it is rushed and then he if fine to go another few months.
I just dont know what to do anymore.
I feel like leaving, because it feels like the lies are just never going to end.
It seems like such a stupid thing to destroy a family and children over ..
would really appreciate any advice ….
Hi Sar,
I am sorry to hear about your situation.
I understand men being in denial, but not after 18 months of therapy. If he continue to look at other women on webcam, while not giving you deserved attention, I would recommend giving him an ultimatum on choosing between you or his addiction. If he will choose his addiction, it might be best for you to re-build your life without him.
I know these is not a happy advice, but no bad news get better over time. If he is not willing to change, the sooner you will leave him the sooner you will be able to begin to re-build your life.
Anonymous
i am an inteligent young man of 20. it all really stated when i was 16, i do hate it bcos it doesn t support my believe. sometimes for over 3 month i may not watch porn or fantaciz i do want to stop dis but my inability 2 tel som1 has being my major setbak, i do hav a promsing future but fantacizin has began 2 afet me alrdy n i NEED to atain my DREAMS. Plz i need help
I think if you can go for 3 month without watching porn, you are already in a much better shape than most people.
Just continue to work on yourself. Read through this course, and other recommended materials. And try to continue to learn and improve as you go. You might consider signing up for our forum http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/forum/ to help you keep track of your progress.
My name is mario am 17 have bin watching porn since a was about 13 and a need help to stop plz plz help me a really need help
oh, and the info on this sight helped me with the relapse.
hey alex. thanx 4 such a great site. I started masturbation at 10 or 11 idk. slightly before i turned 13, my youth group did a “Sex Ed”, and masturbation was mentioned. this was a huge shock to me, a addict of one/two years. although i never told my parents, i found stregnth in GOD my savior. and quit. now, i’m about to turn 14. except for a recent relapse (thats why i found this site) i have stayed clean. i hope my testemony shows other people that they can quit. and to think, all i had was my God, my bible, and my faith. i encourage others who struggle, to consider faith in God. thats all it took for me. what about you?
Hello,
My husband is addicted to porn.. He promises he will stop over and over he knows how i feel and how badly it hurts and kills me but conts to lie to me i catch him all the time. We cant afford therapy around here its also 3 hours away, (and very highly priced). We have a child on the way im at the end of my rope i love him with all my heart but there is only so much i can take what can i do ? Please Help!!
hello,
it seems that now I am going thru what you went thru. So i was wondering how you manage to help your situation, if you did.
thank you.
Hi! Long story ill try to make it short my bf is very addicted to porn. He will get it whenever possible and lie even though he knows he’s caught. We have eliminated everything from tv and internet to him not even having a phone with any kind of internet access. Because there was none of this he has now gone and bought magazines and whatever else. He will even spend money we dont have and he will take time out of work to do it and even be late coming home. I try to plead with him to just stay away from gas stations and places where he’d be tempted but I believe he’s still going and only throwing them away when he’s done so he never has the chance of being caught. It’s hard enough dealing with the fact that he does these things but then lies make it worse. We love eachother very much and we just found out I am 3 weeks pregnant. I want this to work but I do not wish to live a life of lies or to deal with the porn addiction as if its okay or like I will put up with it. I have left before and he begged me to come back and said he’d do anything it took. He has relapsed many times though and can only make it for about 3-5 weeks without doing it as far as he says if its not another lie and he’s really doing it all the time. There’s many times I’d know he was doing it every day and just didn’t say anything. I don’t know what to do when he tries to say that he thinks there’s nothing wrong with it or he says he can just recover on his own with no help. I’ve told him I will only stay if he OS genuinely trying and seeking help or ways to stop but he has done nothing. We have a baby on the way and I already have an 8 year old son from my former marriage. I don’t want to lose the family we have or the man I love.
Well the problem is that he does not see anything wrong with his behavior. And to be honest with you, if he is only watching pornography once every 3 to 5 weeks, I don’t think he qualifies as an out of control addict. That is not to say that you should be okay with his behavior, but I don’t think it qualifies as addiction either. To me addiction is when a person cannot go even a week without watching pornography or masturbating.
Personally, I believe there is nothing good at all that comes out of pornography, and I am striving to have it eliminated from my life completely. This however is more of a personal choice based on my system of believes. You can’t make your boyfriend make the same choice, it will have to come from within. But you can and you must continue expressing how much his pornography use hurts you. He will probably try to tell you that the problem is with you for over reacting. But I don’t think that you are over reacting. You, as a partner and mother of his future child, have every right to have your needs met, and you do not need to accept him participating in something that hurts you. Just like you wouldn’t do something if you knew it was hurting him.
It is a challenging situation and I would encourage you to get professional help.
Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it. He says he will quit for a few weeks but I believe he’s still doing it in between. Even if not… every time he relapses he will not pay bills and spend 2-3 hundred dollars on getting it off of his phone because he pays a pre paid phone or he will buy it somewhere else and this will be an every day thing until I say something and he knows he’s caught. He even says he cannot help himself. He knows it hurts me but we have been able to talk about it more openly. The only problem is that I fear he is still hiding it and only talking about it to reassure me he’s not so he can still get away with it. That’s the way it has gone every time. It’s hard to keep trying to be happy and wanting to be with him, only to be hurt again and feel as if my hopes and dreams of us having a life together feel shattered!
Well, what you are describing does sound like a problematic behavior. Since he seems to be not able to stop spending money on extensive pornography watching.
One thing that helped me in early stages to realize that I had a problem, was a book by Patrick Carnes called “Don’t Call it Love”. He also has other good books on the subject, especially “Out of the Shadows”. I would recommend you checking this book out. Most public libraries should have a copy.
I have a boyfriend (of 9 years). I knew he looked at porn from time to time. I moved in with him two years ago. About 2 months ago I caught on to some heart breaking realities for me. I went through denial, then facing it, thought about leaving and never even telling him why. Now I’ve decided to stay for now, but only if this stops. So, now I’m trying to figure the best way to be supportive yet ensure I give him the best chance to suceed in overcoming this porn addiction. He fell asleep and I went to turn his computer off and found he had been on “Ashley Madison” and many porn sites. I was shocked. He is always home right after work. Never goes out with buddies. We’re always together except when he’s working. I expect at this point probably “ciber sex” and I guess masterbation and fantasy stuff. I guess I don’t fully understand. I’ve spent most of my time for the last few months with major anxiety attacts throughout every day. I look at him and can only look deep into his eyes. He goes in and out of a type of emotional detachment with me, in and out of ability to enjoy sex with me until I confront him with my displeasure in the status of the relationship and “what is goint on” and does he not want me then he does a 360 for a short time giving me all his attention only to draw away again. Two days ago we were talking and he said he believes in doing to others as he would want them to do unto him. Last night, he said I had a deep look in my eyes again and I said I have a lot on my mind and I need to know more about his statement he said the other night. I told him I NEEDED to know, HAVE to know, does he apply the “do unto others as he would want them to do unto him” to our relationship. I told him, could I trust him not to do anything in our relationship that he wouldn’t want me to do to him? He started getting defensive (which he is loud, stout, stern, and not easily approachable), but I stopped him and said I need to know this, it’s important to me to know I can trust you like this. He stopped and you should have seen the look in his eyes. DEEP. He was in seriously deep thought…I don’t think he even realized how long he thought and then he calmly answered yes babe you can. The rest of the night he gave me more attention than he had in a long time. He really gave me his all sexually that night. The best in years. Now, my question is should I talk to him and confront him or wait and see if he brings it under control himself. If a guy is able to do it themself he would be the type he is very strong willed doesn’t like to be told what to do. I don’t think he will like me talking to him about it but I think he needs the accountability and also needs the forwarning that I plan to leave if this don’t stop. I can’t live with this and won’t. He is a wonderfull man. I love him with all my heart and either way it is a no win situation for me. Any help would be great. I just need someone to talk to. I have been holding this inside with noone to go to. the axiety attacks are wild. Then I’ve turned to my own addiction…shopping to try to get my mind off of it and that is the only time it leaves my mind…what an answer. (I am spending my retirement fund and I am only 51 and will probably be single pretty soon after living with a man 9 years and wasting my life!
Thank you for sharing. First of all I wanted to say, please try to stay away from shopping or any other potentially harmful behavior as means of dealing with your pain.
Additionally, it does sound like your man has a good heart. I think it would be beneficial to tell him (may be more than once) how painful to you his pornography use is. If he will see what affect his behaviors are having on your relationships, he will be much more likely to realize that he might need to change a thing or two.
Also I wanted to invite you to our forum. We would be glad to have you there as our member and would try to provide all of the support that we can.
Alex
Hi. I’m female, 17 years old. I know that what I’m doing (watching porn) is not right. Yet, I still continue to indulge myself in it. I feel so dirty … so guilty… so shameful… I don’t have the courage to tell my parents that I’m addicted to porn. I’m to afraid to tell them what’s happening inside me. I’ve got lot of secrets hidden that I wish to tell them, but I really can’t find the courage… Now, I’m here. Trying to ask for your help regarding this compulsion I’m in to. I hope to get a reply from the admin of this org very soon.
Lots of hope,
Ron.
Hi Ron,
The best advice I can give you is to find courage and talk to your parents about what you’ve been going through. It is not your fault, but you do need help. No one can overcome this addiction alone, and due to your young age your parents will be in the best position to help you.
I know that is not probably what you wanted to hear, but this is what I believe is the best for you.
Alex
I’m too afraid to tell them.
I really don’t know what to do.
Is there other option aside from telling my parents?
Ron you need to find a compassionate person to tell, to take it out of secret mode. being a secret gives the porn addiction power. Lots and Lots of power, and you give that power over to the addiction by not telling.
Yes there is another option. Sex Addicts Anonymous have phone meeting for women only. I would encourage you to get in touch with them and to talk to them about your experience. I can guarantee you that this will be a very supportive experience.
Open your heart to a person who is caring and mature. Your heart is your greatest asset
Just close your eyes and don’t think about it…and tell them I am your daughter and I have a porn addiction if you will not accept me because of this. then I am sorry for you. Ron you have a life and future ahead of you. These are just obstacles you can avoid them by facing them head on.
Hi. what address can i use to email management to get my account activated. thank you
Its feedrightwolf@gmail.com . You can also find it by clicking on the envelope icon at the top of this screen.
Thanks,
Alex
Hey Alex, you are a champion keep up the hard work and thank you.
Hi. I have been looking at porn/masturbating in various forms for about eleven years now. I am a believer in and practicer of a religion that strictly forbids both masturbation and indulgance in pornography of any kind. I feel that i am a smart guy and have a lot of self control. About4 years ago My addiction started getting worse. I went from looking at porn once every month or so to going to strip clubs, spending money I didn’t have and my terms of “sobriety” got shorter and shorter. When I came across this site I was feeling lucky if I could be clean for a week straight. I subscribed to the email course and didn’t follow it as exactly as I should. But I did put together a customized ERP course for myself and did it almost every day. On my first attempt at implementing just the ERP section in my life I was able to go 6 weeks 6 days without a relapse. That is the best success I have had in years and in spite of my relapse has given me a huge boost of confidence that I not only can but will in fact reach a sustainable level of sobriety in the not too distant future. I relies nobody (not even myself) gets everything right on the first try and I know I could implement some things better, such as setting up a regular morning routien to better take care of myself. I highly recommend this course to anyone who feels the need to quit an addiction. Good luck.
Hi. I will also recommend this site: http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-TheChain-ann.htm. Allow Jesus Christ to free you from the lies and allure of pornography and i can assure of this: If you accept Jesus Christ into your life and allow the truth concerning the human body change your perception, you will not even be “counting the days that you stayed clean without a relapse”, but it will take a very very drastic step. God bless you.
I will also plead with you to meditate on the entire website and if you are have questions which i know you will have; you can easily contact the pastors that created that site; they have testimony to tell you!!! God bless.
Thanks for your concirn skywalker, I already have a religion, and I do study the scriptures regularly. I incorporated prayer into my customized ERP sessions, and I once had a very good relationship with God, my addiction has created a barrier between us, but I recognize that the process of forgiveness and repentance gives me an oprotunity to come even closer, to develop a deeper conection that results from knowing that I was lost and none could save me but Christ. I look forward to that day.
Hie i m a 17 boy and i livevin hostel away from parents i had got a phn dat can surf net nd from last two days I have been continusly surfing for nide pics and nw I am feling like I cnt stop myself plz help
Only you can stop yourself. It is not you making you watch porn but the devil in your mind that is telling you to do it. It is a matter of believing in yourself, that you are entirely normal, but to achieve that you need to stop fantasising about people in an unreal world. Stop it now, or you’ll destroy your whole future.
Alex, thank you so very much for all that you do. I truly felt dirty and ashamed for masterbating; especially “afterwards.” I am relieved to know that I am not a freak and that I am not alone.
why after doing masterbation somebody twinkle in the skin
Hey my name is luke and I feel as if I have a pork addiction. It is consuming my whole life. Even at work I eel urges to go online and find girls so chat with sexually. I watch porn almost everyday and find it impossible to stop. I am 22 years old and have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful girlfriend. But all of it is slipping away becuz I can’t control myself. I signed up for ur online course and want to make it my way out. My girlfriend is givin me one more chance to get it together. I don’t want to loose what I have. I’ve never has n e thing better. Please help me. My life az I kno it depends on it.
Luke, you are already doing the right step. I believe you will found everything that you need in our porn addiction recovery course. I would also recommend signing up for our porn addiction forum for continuing support.
Please do stay active, and I am always only email away.
Alex
Pork addiction is entirely normal, just make sure its cooked properly.
Lmao XD
Hey am a boy who started watching porn at the age of 13 years I was like whenever at home am alone I try to watch Porn and masturbate as my religion is strictly against thi and I hey a girl online due to her I stopped waching porn and now after 2 months I feel like watching madly but I go to google and stop my self am afraid that i’ll end up watching it some way and i will lose my girl friend plz help
What you are describing does not at all sound like an addiction, but rather a healthy desire that is normal for a young boy like yourself. I would advise you to talk to an adult male that you can trust about it. What you are feeling is healthy, and not something to be ashamed of.
i just finished musterbeting and after that i realised that what am doing is not right.i started because my friends said it was fun fun but now i just cant stop.can someone help plz
You sound like you are a young man. Experimentation with masturbation is a normal part of growing up. Don’t be too hard on yourself. If, however, you do find that it starts to interfere with your normal life (staying up really late, spending many hours looking for sexual material etc) make sure to find an adult you can trust and talk to them.
Hi Alex, there are “Distracting” or “Dirty” ads coming up on your site which I don’t think should belong on a site for the patients recovering from addiction problems. Please take a step ahead a remove such ads from your Website.Thank You.
Thank you for pointing this out. If this will continue to happen I will consider removing adsense from this site completely.
Alex
I am so happy to get a positive reply in so short time. Really good Alex. Keep it up !
The problem is that whatever you search for most is what will come up with these new smart ad sites. Its up to us what is there, because its what we are searching.
My husband has been looking at porn for many years and denies it. Any chance he gets on the computer he is searching for porn. I am to the point of no return. He thinks I don’t know about his habit, but I do.
Anyway, if I try to sit and talk to him he will deny it. So I will not be home Wednesday evening and I know he will turn on the computer immediately to start his porn search.
I have created a letter of how I feel about this porn habit for him to read in html. Once he opens the browser – the letter will be the first thing he sees before his search.
I am scared and nervous – yet any chance he gets he is always searching for porn even when I am in the room. He is really good at minimizing the screen. We have been married for 24 years and I can’t take it anymore – I am so ready to leave this life even though I love him.
My question – should I give him my “web” letter – should I tell him I can’t deal with his habit face to face or should I go get help.
Thank you.
I think you should get help first, if it is available to you. Just because what you are going through is such a difficult and emotional issue that you will need all the help you can get. After that you will need to address your husband, but perhaps your therapist would help you to work out a strategy to do that. If you end up not getting a therapist, please make sure to come back here or our forum, and we will try to give you as much support as we can.
Sorry to hear about your struggles. I wish we lived in a better place.
Alex
Thank you – I think I will go get help for me. There is so much more that I did not put on here. I will keep you posted.
Are you a christian? I would recommend you start praying over this. It is God who created that man and you too. And he gave you that marriage. Believe me, he can perfect that marriage for you. Leaving your man will not help but escalate his problem. Sometimes when he is searching for porn you also go there and try to read the word of God (Bible) loudly especially from the Psalms or Gospels talking about Jesus healing People. Take care.
Francis kafula.
Hi. I am deeply sorry about what you are going through, it is really a devastating problem that has crippled families and destroyed relationships. But please let me tell you that there is hope and that hope lies in knowing and accepting THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR LORD, FRIEND, FATHER AND SAVIOUR. He loves you and He knows what you are both going through. Your husband cannot break free on his own, the only thing that can help is coming to know the TRUTH ABOUT THE HUMAN BODY THAT GOD CREATED IN HIS IMAGE!!!! I plead with you that you and your husband read this wonderful website: http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-TheChain-ann.htm. This was where my journey of healing began. The Lord can transform your husband and even you if you allow Him to lead you both to all truths. There is hope…real hope but it will come in a way that you will not expect at all….believe me i know. You can also contact the pastors who made that site on the contacts section. Jesus is the only one who truly loves and cares for you and your husband. Give Him a chance to heal your marriage!!! God bless you.
HE NEEDS TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL AND HOW IT HURTS YOU.
Man, this really scares me? What if my wife knows and is thinking of leaving me. Please tell him before you do anything. Even if he denies it, he will get the message. Face to face would be best, but if you can’t do that then leave the message. Give him a chance.
Help me a lot in my recovery plan to quit porn, Thanks Alex
It is hard to imagine that I have slipped into what I once thought was a bad habit of constant pornography use. I tried to keep thinking that it was a bad habit because it was easier to think this that to acknowledge that I was hostage to an addiction which was eating everything around me. Relationships withered, work performance faltered and ultimately my marriage died all while I watched pornography on the internet and coupled it with internet chatting. I have never been able to completely shake myself from porn addiction; it has always been with me just under the surface. I am committed to eliminating the use of pornography and I earnestly desire to live in reality where I am getting better (though it hurts) rather than an imagined world where I am dying (though I am sedated).
You know that this course will not cure you; though it will surely inform you of your own nature, the addiction (the enemy if you will) and weapons which can be used to fight off the enemy.
Most importantly; this brief course will prepare you for further work; both professional/ group work and your own private, personal acceptance of the reality of addiction, the responsibility to take control, and the courage to take the next step. God Bless, Good Luck, Perhaps we shall see one another one day. Thanks Alex.
Please I like to prayerfully visit this website……trust me, if you open your heart to the truth, IT WILL SET YOU FREE JUST AS THE LORD SAID IT WILL: http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-TheChain-ann.htm.
Believe me when i say that I am not who i was before and that was because of the Truth that God in His mercies led me to. Jesus loves you always.
(I am a girl btw)thank you so much for the help…I felt before reading this that i was one of the only people in this addiction. I know it sounds odd for a female to masturbate and watch this stuff but we do. sadly for me I took mine to far. at first i only watched it sometimes but after awhile i was looking it up almost everyday and masturbating alot. but now i only do it every now and then(because it is perfectly healthy to do it, but not alot) so thanks for the help ^^
Its a problem cause I can’t just be like ok to my gf let’s go. Guy btw. She watches a little I can’t even go to bed without it.
If you ever want to talk to another girl about what you are going through email me.
femalepornaddicts@gmail.com
I started this site for addicts seeking help, it may be now and then now but you never know what will happen with something addictive like this.
http://www.femalepornaddicts.wordpress.com
-an EX-femalepornaddict
Thank you for your time and effort in putting this course together. I have buried my head in the sand over the last few years with regards to my addiction. It was great to hear from someone so open and honest who is controlling their addiction and living life to the full. I really appreciate your help. I am now able to study more effectively, have a better relationship, feel better about myself and seem to have started to escape the vicious cycle I got myself into.
Hi. I am glad that you have gotten over this vicious cycle. However I do have something important to tell you. I too was once a porn addict and it was a struggle for me for close to 10 years and as you can imagine, i did everything possible to stop this habit. A few years a ago i came across a website that began my journey of healing but most importantly that brought to the TRUTH ABOUT THE PERCEPTION OF THE HUMAN BODY!!! This truth by the power and inspiration of the Holy Spirit freed me from the false view of the human body that i had ignorantly accepted in my way of thinking for so long despite the fact that i have been a Christian. By His grace, I walked away from the allure and lies of pornography!!! Please I will like you to prayerfully look at this site: http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-TheChain-ann.htm. God bless you.
I used to think I was the only person who struggled with this, but after reading this site, I see there are a lot. I've been sober for over a year, and alot was to help from the candeo program and some of the tools I learned at curethecraving . com It really helps to look at the chemicals in the brain that are involved. I used to really put myself down when I had cravings to look, but after I learned that my brain craves certain chemicals, and there are other ways to get these- besides porn, then I just saw it as a signal from my body that I must need to get things back in balance. I think the biggest change was when I decided I had to stop fantasizing about things. That was a tough habit to break! But I just did it one day at a time. When I found myself fantasizing, I would try and focus on something else. Anything else- like the paint on the wall, or the stitching in my clothes. really try to notice details I hadn't seen before. And this got my brain thinking of something else, and before I knew it, I forgot I was avoiding a fantasy. My cravings went way down after that. Thanks for putting up this site. John
I'm a 15 year old girl.and no matter how hard I try I just can't stop.sometimes it makes me question my sexuality and am I nasty person.do u knw any hotlines that are avaliable so I can talk it out plzz help!
Please check out this link for anonymous hotlines: http://www.pamf.org/teen/hotlines.html#sexuality
me too! i’m 15 and addicted…. i can’t stop myself. but i’m seeking help as of now.
There is only one person that can help you and His name is JESUS CHRIST. it was He who led me to the TRUTH ABOUT THE HUMAN BODY though this very wonderful website: http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-TheChain-ann.htm.
If you have any further questions, you can check their contact pages for their email addresses. Jesus Christ loves you much more than you can ever imagine, and He will forgive you of your sins no matter how bad they were. Jesus loves you.
I think that a lot of people are mislead and think they are serving God.
Jesus and his father both stated that there would be false prophets. Some using his name and some who dont even know it. Like the high priests that have severely altered the bible some even removing entire scriptures and Gods name Jehovah (YWH in Hebrew) so your comment I agree with entirely but just wanted to add this comment.
Jah bless you.
Hi. I agree with what you have added but i just wanted to find out if you really agreed with my post and what you think about> Shalom.
And what if you kept sinning and did not care and just said “Jesus will fore give me.” How would that even be right when in the time if gods rage you just repented then after all that without even meaning it. BUT if you are in a porn addicted or STRUGGLING with any thing God and Jesus will fore give you with out a second thought.
It comes to your heart. God knows whether or not you are sincere when you ask for forgiveness. So it dosen’t matter what i say or what anyone says, if you are truly sincere as God wants you to be he will forgive. Only God can judge the intentions of the Heart. Pray. And when you do make sure to include me cause i could use all the faithful prayers of righteous men and women.
Agreed, I was trying to give an illustration but I guess that did not work out because I was talking to skywalker.
I used to be in the exact same place. I hope you get this message! You can talk it out–I created this website just for that purpose, you can email me at femalepornaddicts@gmail.com
Please check out the website, you’re not alone!!
http://www.femalepornaddicts.wordpress.com
-an EX-femalepornaddict
I am very happy to see that you are helping those to overcome pornography. However i too was once a porn addict and i tried everything in my power including prayer to overcome this problem. This continued until i came across this powerful website that I believe the Lord led me to which by the power of the Holy Spirit changed my perception of the body in ways that i did not expect. http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-TheChain-ann.htm. God bless you always.
Thank you !
I can't say how grateful I am for the information I have found here.
This is a problem I have had for many years now,and I have just had enough of the time-wasting, the guilt and the lost opportunities. The longest I have ever managed to stay sober was 3 months. I thought I had broken the chains of addiction, but man does it hurt to find yourself in relapse !!!
I promised myself to break free in 2011, and this material just might be the help I need.
I admire the courage and the hard work you have put in to beat your own addiction, and also what you are doing to share all this material on the net, because you certainly didn't need to.
Thank you again and I wish you all the best !
yeah but i am sure u still watch it a little
cause you might miss spell something and you came
across it again so don’t tell me you stopped watched
porn stop telling lies in my head this
hour of the night for me please.
Well, if you are asking do I come across pornographic material here and there, yes I do. It happens probably once a month. Sometimes more often, sometimes less often. But in the worst cases I spend 1-5. Sometime I come across this stuff intentionally, which I consider a slip, sometimes unintentionally, which I do not consider a slip. But in the past year or so, I think my over all exposure to pornography was less than 1 minute total. Which is much much much better than 6-8 hours per day that I used to spend on this kind of activity.
So not, my recovery is not perfect, far from it. But I did make a lot of progress.
i admire the honesty in this organization. i think i have understood the prevention, but perhaps i need a help from the outside. is there any specific technique to really overcome the craving without repressing it like it would just stay in my mind and when i find a moment the emotion will burst. it becomes difficult.
Did you get a chance to look at this post? How to stop porn addiction and our Free Recovery Course. I believe there you can find a few helpful techniques.
There is only one person that can help you and His name is JESUS CHRIST. it was He who led me to the TRUTH ABOUT THE HUMAN BODY though this very wonderful website: http://mychainsaregone.org/MCAG-TheChain-ann.htm.
I can assure you of this, open your heart to the Lord Jesus Christ, no matter how grievious your sins were in the past including lust which led to pornography, He can and will forgive you of your sins. But it so important that you understand that what you may think is the truth is not even true!!! This is the understanding i came to realize about the anatomy of both the male and female body and since then it has been a testimony. I plead with you to go through the website and allow the Lord to touch your heart!! He loves you so much and there is indeed freedom from the addiction of pornography but not in the way that you may expect, trust me, i know. God bless you.
Thanks. Think I’ll join your (may I say with good intent) wolf-pack. Shev 17.01.12 Ukraine
Isn’t this just a place to help you with porn addiction? Or does it have more uses.
My english is not so good so I hope that didn’t come out wrong.
I don’t like it cause its not real life. I m in relationship happy one too but that’s not how sex works in a relationship. It leads to bigger things too
Pornography is the biggest industry in America with adults and adolescents alike as constant consumers (bigger than the food industry). It's a relief that there are people who offers pornography addiction help.
There seems to be no stop to the production. But I am glad I overcame the addiction.
Every day more and more are going to need a guiding hand to point them in the right direction. May the answers be as available as the traps.
If you are interested you can read 6 more user comments here.
I am also a subscriber on youtube. Just looking for all the help I can get. I listened to the video and knew those feelings myself. I am glad there are people out there who understand.
porn is pure evil made just for money i dont now why there is so much of it
Does it cost money to watch porn on a free website
You do realize that nothing is free, right? Pornography sites, any type, are there to make money. Period. Even ones that are 100% “free” are there making money. How? Google and knowledge are your friend.
If your question is purely selfish in nature; ie. “what does it cost ME, who cares about others or society” well then I have seen many, many people loose money by spending their time on free sites. How? Lost time. Lost time at their jobs. Lost interest at their jobs so they fail to make promotions and bonuses. Stagnation in career, investment and other such money making pursuits. I can’t tell you how many mid 30-year olds are stuck earning scraps because they have spent their time and focus directed at “free sites”.
depends on what you search for i always type this in: REMOVED BY ADMIN
If the person who asked how to search for “free porn” was an 8-year old (and it happens way too often; just check our forum, these comments and SA meetings. CHILDREN of indisputable age (we’re not talking highschool here) are coming out of the woodwork asking for help) would you have entered the same reply? Told an 8-year old how to optimize his search?
It’s as if the internet came about and NOBODY adjusted their common sense; in fact they toned down common sense. Be more aware of what you post and whom you may be posting to. You have no idea the possible ramifications of your actions when you act without regard for anything other than yourself. Deplorable.
I just wanted to share what a prominent local doctor of psychology said to me recently about “free” porn sites. He told me about “Tiny Hands International”. He told me about how in Nepal, girls as young as six years old (on average maybe 14?) are tricked into being sold into the sex slave market right across the border in India. They are literally locked into small cages, beaten, tortured, and gang raped until they submit. There is an hour long documentary about the modern slave industry with a focus on the situation in Nepal and India on their web-site. I highly recommend it to everyone. It is a truly shocking documentary.
Perhaps almost every time anyone clicks on a “free” porn site, they are inadvertently indirectly contributing to the modern day sexual slave industry. The web makes us all the more connected. Have you ever seen advertisements pop up on a site that offers “girls from India”? Well, now everyone has an idea of what that’s about… including you.
See, what happens when you click on a “free” site is that you make that site more valuable financially in it’s ability to advertise for any/all of the non-”free” sites – up to and including one’s of girl’s being repeatedly raped (even if it looks consensual – they’re GIRLS (aka children)) day after day to pay off “their debt” to their captors. Sorry about my run-sentences. Have to go to work.
Man, this website is for those who want to get away from porn, not some kind of dating service…