Sex Addiction Help

Hello Dear Visitor

  • Do you struggle to control some part of your sexuality?
  • Find yourself wondering, why did I just do that again?
  • Feel that you constantly have to cover your tracks to avoid being caught?
  • Afraid of anybody learning about your secrets?
  • Wonder if there is a better way to live your life?

I struggled with all of the above and wrote a book where I outlined the things that helped me.

It’s Free and It’s Online

This is the book that I wish I had when I first realized that something was wrong in my life, and didn’t know where to turn for help.

Start Reading

Why Feed The Right Wolf?

The name for this site was inspired by an old Cherokee tale of Two Wolves.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Who Am I?

My name is Alex and I am a recovering sex addict. I have been in recovery since early 2008, and while my recovery is not perfect, I was able to abstain from watching pornography for over 99% of my time. Additionally, although I do not recommend this for single people, I have not masturbated since January 2009, CHOOSING my wife as the only source for my sexual experience.

I was raised in a regular home with two normal parents. Like many teenage boys I started watching pornography when I was around 10 years old. I was very isolated from other kids and for a large part of my life pornography was my only “true friend”. I didn’t know that pornography could have a negative effect and viewed it as a healthy way to have fun and deal with my emotions.

My Pornography Use Continued to Escalate

Over the years, my use of pornography continued to escalate. I thought I would be able to stop once I get into a relationship with a real woman but realized that it was not the case. High stresses of life, combined with anonymity, availability, and accessibility of pornography over the high-speed internet seemed to have taken my pornography use completely out of control. It went on until about three years ago. By that point my sex addiction was completely out of control. I would spend up to 8 hours every day watching pornography and masturbating. In order to make time for my habit I would skip sleep, work, and even time with my family. I felt guilty, shameful, worthless, and hopeless.

Finding a Solution for Sex Addiction

After a while I simply couldn’t deny that I had a problem. I swore to myself “I would do whatever it takes to find a way out”. I’ve dedicated my undivided attention towards finding a solution for my sex addiction. I’ve read every addiction book that I could get my hands on, until I finally found a technique called, Exposure and Response Prevention, that allowed me to see the first glimpses of light. I then proceeded to read even more books, began seeing a therapist, purchased a few recovery programs, and began attending a 12 step meeting for sex addiction.

Combination of Different Methods Brings the Optimal Result

Through my experience in recovery, I noticed that many people were too fixated on one particular approach. Some people relied solely on group therapy, some on religious programs, some on cognitive therapy, and some on eastern philosophy. Yet in my experience, a combination of different methods appeared to be bringing the ideal result. I’ve shared some of my ideas with my friends in recovery and received a very positive response. That is what encouraged me to develop this site. I’ve summarized the most important information that allowed me to stop sex addiction in 23 short and fun to read articles – I call it the “Free Recovery Course”.

In the Free Recovery Course You Will Discover…

  1. A chemical process that takes place in your brain causing you to get addicted
  2. The addictive cycle that your body goes through and how to break out of it
  3. How the human brain works and why sometimes you lose control of your actions
  4. Four simple exercises to strengthen your brain
  5. How to create your sexual recovery plan
  6. How to control your cravings
  7. An important strategy to help you beat your addiction once and for all
  8. How your beliefs are causing you to suffer
  9. Seven beliefs that were keeping me trapped
  10. One big lesson that I learned from my relapse and what you can do to avoid my mistakes
  11. Two very important tools that can magnify your recovery
  12. Four things that you CAN do to help you stay sober for the rest of your life

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Frequently Asked Question:

What do I have to pay for this information?

We offer a combination of free and paid services. This site was design to offer free help to any person struggling with sex addiction, and we are staying true to this mission. Over time however, increasing numbers of people have asked for more “hands on” and “personalized” help. That is why we decided to add a coaching element to our site.

Does this information really work?

Every person is different. It has most definitely worked for me. Additionally you can read a lot of positive comments throughout this website. Since we started offering a free recovery course in August of 2010 over four thousand people have signed up for email delivery, and over a hundred thousand people have read the Free Recovery Course on this website. We’ve received no complaints and have been thanked too many times to count.

Why should I listen to you?

Our coaches, are certified and experienced. They are professionals and great at what they do. My only credentials is that I’ve been there. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. English is not my first language, and my educational background is in computer engineering. That being said, most of the information that I share on this site did not come from me directly. Rather it is my collection and interpretation of different approaches and techniques that I learned from many books and training courses offered by people who do have credentials. I like to believe that I did a very good job of putting it all together, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Why should I read your stuff?

Because it would allow you to learn from my mistakes instead of making your own. Note that you don’t have to be addicted to sex to benefit from this site. Most of the information provided is common sense, day-to-day psychology that will allow you to better understand the inner workings of the human mind, and allow you to get a greater control of your life.

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Since this site presents information from a variety of approaches you would be more likely to find something new and effective that could turn your life towards new direction and allow you to enjoy a new level of freedom. This information provided at no additional cost. You have nothing to lose (except for a few minutes of your time) but you have the world to gain.

Last but not least, because by reading this information, commenting on this site, and participating in the forum, you would not only help yourself, but you will also help others. A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. And by giving a bit of your attention towards this site you can make this world a little better. You’ll see that by learning and applying some of the techniques discussed here, you’ll begin to transform your life! And you will be amazed to discover that your transformation will begin to improve the lives of those around you!

Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Mindful Habit Course by Coach Craig
    Great advice from a great person.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

Relavant Keywords:porn addiction, porn, feed the right wolf, porn addiction help, pornography addiction, addicted to porn, stop porn addiction, pornography addiction help, overcoming porn addiction, addiction to porn


  1. warior says

    i m 22,and i started that shit 14 .this is a very very hard way for me .i m trying for quitting for 3 years …but i couldnt ,i just can stay in abstantion 18 days …i will loose my school,i m in university my lessons are not good,because of this damn habit ,i m not a sucsesful person ….i dont know about love,my father beat me every day when i was a kid,my mother was very hard on me,i hide from world,from people,from myself even ..but but i dont want to keep going like that,i have a fucking energy in me , i can feel it, but i dont know what to do with it.i cant sleep well for years , i m watching that shit for hours ,day and night ,people see me or not this not important for me ,then im doing 8 times ,10 times ,3 days ,mast. then i exhausted…so i cant think about my bad childhood,i forgot about my darkness,but now is darker then this….i want to be sucsesful person in life ,i want to love someone,i just want some chatting,i just want myself my soul,i dont want to scare anymore …ı just want some sleep… this is my day 1 again….i will write again

    • Mike says

      Hi Warior,

      I can totally identify. This addiction takes our sense of dignity and self-respect and rips it to shreds. We all have this drive in us to make a mark on the world and find true acceptance in a healthy love relationship, but porn robs us of living out our destiny. In essence, we become slaves and party to an industry that treats women like dirt. Don’t give up! This may be the time that sicks. My prayers are with you, man. Keep on fighting. You’ve got a wonderful life ahead of you.

  2. Candace says

    I can understand. This happens 3 weeks to the day of our 2nd wedding anniversary. He had been lying to me for a year and a half. I left but came back. He has worked diligently to beat his addiction. He has put a tracking software on our home pc and his cell phone. I get a weekly email of where he has visited also if he deletes the app either place I get an email telling me that. It’s all about accountability. I would encourage you to pray if you are a Christian there is NO problem God can’t fix. I am here if you need a friend. Quite honestly I need one too. The blistering betrayal is so hard to swallow but we are going to church, praying together we have an elder counseling us and we are about to start a marraige counselor who handles sex addiction. You can get the accountability software from xwatch. Google xwatch and you’ll find them. Runs 8 bucks a month. I’ll be praying for you and your entire family.

    • Mike says


      It sounds like you are taking great steps and seeing some progress. I’ve had to be very honest with my wife and set boundaries to find freedom. For anyone out there that appreciates a raw and real story of freedom, you should check out my friend, Jeff’s, story of facing porn addiction head on:

      Take care.

  3. Candace says

    I found porn on my husband’s cell phone last night. (I already left him over this when we had been dating) He begged for me back so I gave him a second chance. Now I find out he’s looking at this filth at work and jacking off to it. I’ve been living in his lie for 3/4 of our marriage. I am sick, disgusted and broken. He says he doesn’t want to do this and is addicted. I no linger trust him and he has gutted me with his lies and deceit. Porn is one of the worst things in the world. It tears families apart. I don’t even know how to begin to help myself recover. It’s a nightmare being on this side of it. I feel dead inside.

    • Suzy says

      The same thing happened to me 2 nights ago – the first time i “caught” him was 10 YEARS AGO, and it was devastating then! i’m so sick about staying with him all these years and now knowing that he was into that all this time. I can just hear people thinking i’m prudish for feeling this way. but my entire being feels devastated and broken I don’t think i can ever trust or respect him again. now we have 3 children and i just don’t know what to do.

  4. rocky says

    Hey Alex,
    Almost 2 years ago I found your site. But unfortunately I wasn’t able to stop my uncontrollable urges towards porn & masturbation. I failed so many times that really hurt me to feel.
    I have started again my journey to live a healthy normal life.
    The life of changing towards positive development …
    I am now on day 3 of PMO free.

    Pray for me
    Regards Rocky.

    • Mike says

      Hi Alex,

      It’s never too late to have a fresh start. I wish you all the best. Porn is also something I’ve had to battle with. What do you find helpful in the struggle? Personally I’ve found my friend’s story to be very helpful. You can read it here if you’re interested. I just prayed for you. Hope it works out better this time round.


  5. Tarit says

    Dear Alex,

    Thank you so much for the brilliant and free course I have followed now for one month. I have been a porn addict for decades and although it doesn’t visibly damage my relationship or my work, it’s nonetheless an addiction that I was unable to control, and I didnt like how it made me insensitive and jaded to real feminine feelings and real romance.

    I got alerted to the negativity of porn when I saw a youtube video with former pornstar Jessie Rogers. I used to love her films and was shocked to hear her story. I just didn’t feel like being involved with that whole scene anymore and started looking for help. That’s when I found Alex.

    My goal first of all was to get off the hardcore stuff. I deleted more than 100 gb’s worth and I’m happy to say that I haven’t indulged in any for a full month. I stayed with just looking at pics of naked girls, although I’m cutting down on that and my next recovery step is to diminish that. Although I’m not certain it’s possible to entirely quit because of things like page-3 girls in newspapers, pictorials in FHM and swimsuit galleries and other naked-seminaked material in the public space. I’m considering how to deal with the softcore stuff.

    It feels wonderful however to be off the hardcore stuff and I felt supported all along by your honest and inspirational mails.

    I wish everyone who struggle with this the best of luck and congratulate everyone for even small progress. This is a difficult addiction to deal with, but worth the effort

    Cheers, and remember to always honor an respect women and what they share with us

  6. Michelle says

    I beg of you to please help my lovely family ! I have lived knowing this for years but I went through Chemo and have 5 children , twins identical girls at 40 ! We all know what he’s doing ! Ive even caught him! Only once did he admit he had a problem but by the next day I was crazy ! We are losing a Hisband , Father , Grandfather ect… I have cried enough tears for a lifetime ! He looks at all of us , esp me , with eyes of hate but yet hes doing nothing and he loves me ! Its to the point where its all I can think about like where is he , is he cheating , call girls , strip clubs ! I am in very bad heath , very bad ! Please help us ! We are not loaded with money and all of us are heartbroken ! His family thinks its a lie ! Please Help Us !

    • Alex says

      I am really sorry to hear about your situation. There is not much I can do at this stage to help you though, since your husband is in denial. I would recommend checking out any book by Patric Carnes, i.e. “Don’t call it love” it will help you understand if your husband has a sex addiction and will outline some steps to move forward.

      • Michelle says

        Alex I just saw your answer , I don’t know how I missed it but I was so happy to hear back you ! I will read anything that you feel will help and hopefully my husband will admit his addiction and work with you & I to get him in control ! Again Thank You Alex and will be keeping in touch so please check on here for my messages. Now if I call the phone # on this page , will I be able to talk with you ? Where are you located ? Thank you again & I’ll look for an answer ! Please pray for Our Family !!!

        • Alex says

          Thanks, this number is for Craig. He is the professional coach for this site.

          I am just a person in recovery, and do not communicate with others outside of this site and my 12 step program.

          I will pray for your family!

  7. SV says

    The free course was very helpful and offered some great material. I would recommend this to anyone experiencing this addictive cycle to learn more about the issue and discover the way to a healthier life.

  8. Doug says

    If you can’t control your urge to watch porn and masterbate then you are not in control of yourself. I think that is one of the definitions of addiction. The more you continue down this road the more difficult to change. Try to keep in mind that the women your are masterbating to in most cases are not doing it of their free will. That they are someones daughter, sister or mother. Would you want someone having those thoughts about your family? You may not want a relationship at present however you definitely will at some point and your significant other will be hurt by your actions. There are other things you can do to change your actions like getting a hobby. Perhaps you could contact Craig Perra, C.P.C., J.D. at for some assistance.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Current ye@r *