About a week ago I decided to suggest on my blog that Tiger Woods could be a sex addict. In the past 6 months I’ve been watching recent sex scandals fairly close and did not notice much controversy surrounding any of them.
For one reason or another, Tiger Woods’ case has exploded. There are thousands of websites speculating about Tiger Woods being a sex addict and digging through his dirty laundry.
Everybody acts so shocked about the fact that a role model and an excellent athlete would behave this way. Personally, I am surprised that so many people are shocked.
Do you not see the society that we live in today? Do you not see how sexuality gets shoved down everybody’s throat? We have James Bond, a hero, having sex with multiple women in every move. Almost every other commercial we see on TV shows a half naked women, and it is purposely designed that way because sex sells. Our little teenage celebrities dress in a way that 100 years ago would not been considered an appropriate attire for a prostitute… I can go on forever.
When I was a kid we used to have a male dog, and our neighbors a story above us had two female dogs. My dog spent most of his free time scratching the front door trying to get out, and I couldn’t really blame him. I understood that he had a certain set of instincts that were driving his behavior. Whenever the dog would stay at my grand parents house, he would stay calm and away from the door.
Men are not as primitive as dogs, but our brains do share the same structure. It doesn’t take a scientist to understand that the only difference between us and dogs is a strongly developed pre frontal cortex, a human brain. It is part of our survival mechanism to allow our basic instincts to override our cognitive ability. When we are in danger we simply do not have time for rational thinking. Same principle applies to our sexual behaviors.
A common argument that I hear is that people are able to tell reality from the stuff that they see on TV. While I do believe our conscious brain is able to tell the difference I am not so sure about our subconscious brain.
That is why I am not at all surprised that a man like Tiger Woods could have a hard time staying faithful to his wife. It takes a certain set of skills and understanding of your own sexuality to stay faithful, and our society not only fails to teach those skills, but seems to do everything possible to capitalize on our sexual drive.
There is a growing group of people who come to learn through their own experience the dangers of sexuality, and that it can and often does get out of control. I believe Tiger Woods have just joined that group of people.
So what does our society do? Blame Tiger Woods for everything! How could he? He was such a role model? A professional athlete? A hero? What a disappointment, what a shame!!!
My question is how could he not? Having grown up in a society where sexually provocative behaviors are excepted, allowed, and supported by medical community as healthy norm.
But I think that what ever happened to Tiger Woods is his personal business. He did not break any laws, and I believe this is where society’s concern should end. I suggest we spend more time policing our own lives, and letting Tiger Woods figure out his own.
I wish to Tiger Woods and his family all of the best, and I believe that he will be able to come out of this experience a better man. Until then I suggest we leave Tiger Woods alone.
P.S. Recommended Resources:
- Sex Addicts Anonymous
I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
- Mindful Habit Course by Coach Craig
Great advice from a great person.
- Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
- Internet Accountability Software
Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
- Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
- Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
- Free Consultation from Coach Craig
Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.