How to Stop Porn Addiction – One Powerful Technique to Help You Stop Watching Porn

Do you want to know how to stop porn addiction? The answer is simple but not easy.

Before we get started, I want to make sure that you are aware that we provide a Free Recovery Course and a Free Forum. Both are Free as in air that you breath, and are placed there for one reason only – to help you.

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Even if you don’t want to join our forum, make sure to visit it and read through some of our member’s stories. Recovery Journals and Support for Partners could be especially helpful in providing insight into pornography addiction and effects it has on people’s lives.

That being said, lets get back to the article below. It is organized in 8 major parts. In parts 1-3 I share my understanding of the porn craving. In part 4 I share a powerful technique that allowed me to stop porn addiction, at least for the first 30 days. And in parts 5-8 I list some other tips for long term recovery.

A few words about me – founder of this site. My name is Alex and I am a recovering porn addict. I have been in recovery since early 2008, and while my recovery is not perfect, I was able to abstain from watching pornography for over 99% of my time. Additionally, although I do not recommend this for single people, I have not masturbated since January 2009, CHOOSING my wife as the only source for my sexual  experience.

What I am about to share with you does work.  Below is a quote, from one of our readers. You can read more reviews here, if you want.

I never though that porn addiction is real, but after reading the info on this site I now truly understand it. This site is beyond awesome and amazing… it really explains what and why I am going through right now.
Anonymous

I am not here to tell you what you should  or shouldn’t do with your life. But I think that techniques that I used to stop porn addiction, could be used to make lasting change in all areas of our lives.

1. Pornography Is Not Just a Bad Habit!

A first major component in my own recovery was an understanding that pornography viewing was not just a bad habit. It was an obsessive compulsive cycle (see Figure 1 below) from which I was not able to break free. It usually started with an unwanted sexual thought that I would try to avoid for as long as I could.

Figure 1. Obsessive Compulsive Cycle of Pornography Addiction

Unfortunately, trying NOT to think about something never really worked for me, and eventually I would get to a point where thoughts would get so intense that I couldn’t handle the pressure any longer. Then I would go back to the only way that I knew to make sexual thoughts temporarily go away – watching pornography and masturbating.

After sexual acting out I would slowly come back to my senses and realize what have happened. I would feel guilt for being so weak and giving in and I would swear to never do it again!

Unfortunately over time I would find sexual thoughts coming back, and since I didn’t know how to handle them in a healthy way, the whole cycle would repeat itself.

Clearly fighting my sexual desires only made them come back stronger and faster, and I began to rely more on pornography and masturbation to help me get a temporary relieve.

Eventually this cycle got completely out of control to the point where I would have to spending most of my day watching porn. My brain got so used to regular imagery that I would have to seek out really hard core pornography in order to temporary satisfy my desires, and allow me to return to my normal state.

In other words, I found that the more I fed my porn addiction, the stronger it got.

2. No Craving Can Last Forever!

The second component that I learn was an understanding that any human feeling, including cravings, cannot last forever. In actuality any physiological impulse is shaped like a bell curve (see figure 2 below).

At first cravings starts out slow but grow exponentially until they get really intense. Somewhere along this path most of addicts would end up giving in. As the result they get used to an idea that they could never get past their cravings and that their cravings will eventually get so strong, that they will have no choice but to give in.

Figure 2. Craving Curve

In actuality human beings cannot sustain any emotion or feelings indefinitely, and eventually any feeling or craving will decrease.

So the trick to stopping porn addiction is to learn to ride out cravings; to master a skill to stay away long enough for cravings to go away. This of course sounds simple, but as many addicts know it is not as easy to do.

Below I am going to share a technique with you that have helped me do just that. But first let me show you a few simple physiological signals that can be used to measure how strong our craving really is.

3. Physiological Signs of a Strong Craving

It is important to know certain physiological changes that begin to take place in human body when they experience strong desire to watch porn and/or masturbate compressively. Such changes include:

  •     Rapid Pulse
  •     Increased blood pressure
  •     Dilated Eyeballs
  •     Shallow Breath

It is important to know these symptoms because this knowledge can provide us with information needed to help us on our way to recovery from porn addiction. Let me explain.

We can learn our pulse rate during normal state and then use this information to recognize if our pulse is getting too high. Therefore pulse can serve as an easy to measure indicator that we are about to get out of control. At the same time we can use pulse measurement to let us know that we are exiting the danger zone and that the physical craving begins to decrease.

Another very important component that is easy to observe is our breath. Breath is the only subconscious bodily function that we can consciously control. Think about it! You cannot control your blood pressure, you cannot control you pulse, but you can control your breath. You can take slow, deep, controlled breaths, and through that you can have a direct effect on your subconscious mind. This is a very powerful key to stopping porn addiction!

4. Killing the Craving

So let’s move right into action. The technique that I used to help me overcome the craving is called Exposure and Response Prevention or ERP and is generally used for Obsessive Compulsive disorder and other psychological problems. It’s been around for a very long time, tons of people use it, and it is very effective. I’ve originally learned this technique from a book called “Kill the Craving” which uses ERP to help people with alcohol and drug addictions, and I slightly modified the approach to help me overcome porn addiction.

The key idea of this technique is to systematicallyexpose yourself to situations that would usually cause you to feel a strong craving and practice responding to this craving in a healthy way.  This practice allows our subconscious mind to learn a healthy response mechanism by the time we are faced with a real craving.

Over time you will learn that cravings do not rule your life, and that there is a way for you to ride out a craving and return to your normal self without having to act out. And the high that you get from feeling proud of yourself will be much stronger than any high that you could possibly get from porn addiction.

ERP works in the following way. You first identify a trigger, and as soon as you feel the physiological response from your body, you measure your pulse rate, which you would likely find to be a bit higher than your normal pulse. After that you immediately shift into a controlled breathing exercise to calm your subconscious mind. Next you review your personal motivation statements, to remind yourself of all the positive things that you can bring into your life if you were not to act out. Then you measure your pulse again, and note the difference. Last but not least, you follow up with an act of self care. Let’s look at those steps a little more closely.

Step 1 – Identify or imagine the triggering situation.

While ERP is very effective with helping you overcome a real trigger, it will not be as helpful unless you have already practiced it continuously before facing the real danger. Therefore I recommend a commitment of at least 30 days with complete ERP practice being done the first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

A quick note on sources of trigger is due here. The book that I’ve mentioned earlier “Kill the Craving” recommended alcohol and drug addicts to look at photographs of their addictive substances in order to generate an addictive response. This approach, however, did not seem practical for porn addiction, because looking at addictive images was precisely what I was trying to avoid.

I solved this conflict by creating a strong mental image of myself in a triggering situation instead of looking at actual photography. For example I would imagine myself being alone with computer, or passing by a magazine stand at the store.

Our brain is not able to tell the difference between a vivid mental image and a real life situation, and will produce a similar physiological response. That way Exposure and Response Prevention techniques can be practiced in a safe environment, without having to expose yourself to the real danger.

If at any time during the day you begging to feel a strong craving and a desire to act out, follow up with an extra ERP exercise. Personally, at first I found myself doing 3-5 ERP exercises per day, but soon was able to get through most of my days with only 1 or 2 exercises.

Step 2 – Measure your pulse rate as soon as you observe your body begin to change.

It is easier to measure your pulse for 15 seconds and multiply it times four. Follow this link to download a quick reference chart that will help you to quickly convert your pulse rate and keep the record of your progress.

It is likely that measuring your pulse rate may feel like a burden at first, but after a few days of ERP practice you will get used to it and it will become very easy.

Also, after 5 to 10 days of regular ERP practice you may notice that your pulse rate will not change as much as it did at first from you merely imagining a triggering situation. Please do not use this as an excuse to go look for more triggering stuff. After all it is the sole purpose of ERP practice to train your body not to react addictively to triggers. Therefore, take the decrease pulse rate as a sign of progress, and continue your practice for at least 30 days to allow new habit to form. (It takes about 30 days of repeating a certain task for human beings to form a habit)

Step 3 – Perform Controlled Breathing Exercise.

After you record your pulse rate, follow up with a controlled breathing exercise. Simply, breathe in for 10 seconds, hold your breath for 10 seconds, and breathe out for 10 second. Repeat it 10 times.

I use my fingers that I keep resting on my knees to keep the count of my breaths, tapping each finger for one of ten counts. That way I can free up my mind from counting and concentrate on breathing.

Remember that our breathing is the only subconscious function that we can control through our conscious effort. Do not overlook this step.

Step 4 – Review Personal Motivational Statements.

Next you review your personal statements. You will have to do a little homework on this. Just sit down and write down all of the reasons why you want to get sober. Why do you want to stop watching porn? What positive changes would it bring into your life? What negative consequences will you be able to avoid?

Answers to these questions must be able to touch the bottom of your soul. When I read mine I can literally feel the Goosebumps! That is how badly you need to want to stop this addiction and get the good things in your life. If you are not going to feel the Goosebumps and if it is not going to touch your soul, it is just not going to be strong enough to make you choose life instead of porn when you will be faced with real temptation.

Some of the statements that I used were: My dreams of having a wife and a child will come true if I walk away. I will be stronger and more in control if I walk away. I will regain my self-respect and dignity if I walk away. My family will be proud of me if I walk away. I will be able to look into people’s eyes, and feel proud of myself if I walk away. You can download 30 sample stamens here.

I had each of my reasons written on 3 by 5 cards, which I would read out loud to myself during each ERP practice. Cards allowed me to be doing (i.e. moving the cards), reading and hearing the message at the same time. Human beings learn the best by combination of action, seeing and hearing. (We learn even better by teaching something that we already know to somebody else. So when you get a handle on ERP practice yourself, try to teach it to another addict).

Step 5 – Re-measure your pulse rate.

When you first begin your ERP practice, you might notice that your pulse rates remain the same between steps 2 and 5. Sometimes you may even find it going up a little. It is normal. Over time you will learn to decrease your pulse rate, and you will be able to bring yourself back to your normal state. Ideally you should be able to decrease your pulse rate from its highest point by about 4 to 8 bits per minute.

Additionally, as I mentioned earlier, overtime you will notice that your pulse rate in step 2 will not be getting as high as it did at first in reaction to the triggers. This will be a sign of your progress.

Step 6 – Follow up with an act of self care.

This is also a very important step. You have to do something good for yourself. Preferable you need to get out of the house.

For my first 30 days I would go out and jog after my morning practice. And if I felt the craving again during the day, I would do another ERP exercise and follow up with a different act of self care, like cooking a healthy meal, journaling, or taking a nap. After my evening practice my act of self care was simply to go to bed early. You can view a list of 67 healthy things to do for fun.

5. One Technique is Not Enough!

I want to share one short story with you that helped me to put everything together and stop watching porn for good. Exposure and Response Prevention technique is great, but I think it would not have gotten the job done if it was used alone. Anyway, here is the story:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

So I thought what can I do to feed the right wolf? The answer was not as obvious as it might seem.

Over time I came to a conclusion that if I took a good care of myself, my good wolf will be stronger, and my bad wolf will be weaker. Therefore in addition to the daily practice of Exposure and Response Prevention, I committed to the following rules:

  • 8 hours of sleep a day
  • Eating Healthy (3 meals, and 2 snacks a day)
  • Drink plenty of water (at least 8 glasses a day)
  • Journaling about my triggers
  • Meditating
  • Morning and Evening Prayer
  • Avoiding Dangerous Situations (think acronym HALT)
    • Hungry
    • Angry
    • Lonely
    • Tired

6. Warning!

Soon after you’ll stop porn addiction, you will become able to get in touch with your true feelings. While this might sound like a good thing, you could find those true feelings to be unpleasant.

Chances are you’ve used your addiction for a very long time to escape discomforts of life, and when you take away this crutch, you might feel the full weight of your past mistakes.

Just realize that this pain is a temporary. Use this pain as a guide to identify what areas of your life need improvements, so you can face them and get the life that you truly deserve.

7. Other Resources to Consider

I used everything that I’ve outlined so far to help me get my first ever 90 days of sobriety from porn and masturbation. In the matter of fact I have not masturbated yet since I did my first 30 days of ERP practice. I did however look at soft core pornography on a few occasions so this method is not perfect. Actually, I have yet to find a perfect method, and when I will I’ll make sure to let you know. But for now I wanted to share a few other resources that I found helpful.

12 step groups

There is a lot of criticism out there in regards to 12 step groups, but I’ll recommend you doing what my sponsor told me to do, “Take what works for you, and leave the rest behind”. The best thing about the 12 step groups is that the infrastructure is already in place.

If you live near a major city, chances are you will have multiple meetings in your area. If you live in a remote location, you can always attend a phone meeting. It is there, it is available, and you can meet people who have similar problems and are looking for similar solutions. And best of all, it will only cost you a 2 dollar donation per meeting. You can view a full list of 12 step meetings here.

I’ve been attending Sex Addicts Anonymous for almost 2 years now (I started right after I lost my first 90 days of sobriety), and it has been a tremendous tool in my own recovery.

Professional Coaching

Professional counseling and coaching is a great tool, but you need to be careful, and pick a person experienced with porn addiction. That is why we are so happy to announce that we have our own coaching team specializing in helping people in recovery, their spouses, and couple’s together to survive and thrive from this addiction.

Craig Michelle_Perra

Additionally we have a Free Recovery Course posted on this site, which provides a lot more of other helpful information.

I am sure there are other good programs available, so make sure to find what works for you.

Accountability Software

Knowing that there is no way to hide my internet history made it much easier for me to make good decision when browsing the internet.

I recommend Covenant Eyes that costs $10 a month. This software does not filter any of the internet content, but it keeps a detailed report of all your internet activity and emails it to your accountability partner.

A free option that I also use is K9 web filter. This filter can block access to certain sites and keep track of all of the internet history. Just make sure that somebody else is in charge of the password.

No software is perfect and there is always a way around it, nevertheless I found those tools to be extremely helpful.

Educate Yourself

Read as much as you can on how to stop porn addiction. This is what I did and continue to do. It will not only help you to stop watching porn, but it will help you with the rest of your life.

Start Your Own Recovery Blog

Seriously! Starting this site was one of the best things that I did for my recovery. It forced me to really internalize everything that I’ve read, put it through my own conscience, and explain it to others. Best way to learn something, is to teach it to somebody else.  On top of that not only do you get to help yourself, but you get to help others too and make the world a better place.

You could try to do it through one of the free sites like blogger or tumbler, but I would highly advise against it. I started this blog on blogger, and a year into it, when it began to get more popular, I had to migrate to my own hosting and it was a nightmare! If I could go back, I would most definitely get my own domain and hosting from start.

I recommend Blue Host as a way to get started, because it is very well respected, very affordable, super easy to use, and it has excellent customer support.

Unlike back in 2008, starting a blog is super easy now and can be done in less that 5 minutes. See how easy it is to get started in the video below.

 

Click Here To Start Your Own Blog Now 

Spiritual Life

Get involved with your spiritual life, and make sure you make room for it.

Journaling

Journaling was one of the most beneficial tools for me. There is something magical about getting your thoughts on paper.

Remember, progress and not perfection!

Don’t try to do it perfectly and don’t try to be perfect. You will make mistakes, we all do. As long as you keep working at it, you will get better. It took you many years to get this far into your addiction, don’t expect to fix it all in 30 days. It will take you some time. Be patient with yourself, keep going, and your life will continue to improve.

If you stumble don’t beat yourself up.

Just learn from your mistakes, and over time you will become a new person. If you keep working at it, there is no other way; you will become a new person!

8. Thank You!

Thank you for carrying, thank you for trying to change yourself, and thank you for continuing to look for solutions. By making changes in yourself you are making this world a much better place!

If you know someone who is looking for ways to stop porn addiction, please share this message with them!

And remember to feed the right wolf :)

9. Join Our Free Recovery Course To Discover…

  1. A chemical process that takes place in your brain causing you to get addicted
  2. The addictive cycle that your body goes through and how to break out of it
  3. How the human brain works and why sometimes you lose control of your actions
  4. Four simple exercises to strengthen your brain
  5. How to create your sexual recovery plan
  6. How to control your cravings
  7. An important strategy to help you beat your addiction once and for all
  8. How your beliefs are causing you to suffer
  9. Seven beliefs that were keeping me trapped
  10. One big lesson that I learned from my relapse and what you can do to avoid my mistakes
  11. Two very important tools that can magnify your recovery
  12. Four things that you CAN do to help you stay sober for the rest of your life

Click Here to Start Recovery!

 

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Links:


Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continious sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get trully honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexually addiction and this trully is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excelent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiciton. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people form all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

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Comments

  1. says

    Another addict here… its very embarrassing too. I’m currently 22, started at around 15. I have tried multiple times x 1000 to quit and keep letting the triggers take control. I’m so used to masturbating with myself that the touch of a female cant get me off. I’m an attractive man with confidence in myself but this addiction has corrupted me. I have fetishes that I desire when looking at porn and I find them and use them consuming much of my free time. Then in public areas they race through my mind making me want to hurry home… its destroyed my sec life and even altered my personality. I am no longer an innocent man, but a bright attractive male with sickening thoughts running through me shaping my behavior. I feel as if there is no escape with media and how females dress revealing themselves almost as if they run around forcing the triggers. Its a hard addiction to overcome. Loneliness is what gets me the most I find myself alone with nothing else to do,my job doesn’t help much as I make good money with its costs which are living like a foraged from hotel room to hotel room city to city. I want a partner or an escape to help me but I constantly feel overwhelmed by the triggers and influence sexual ideas on my partner. I’m a born athlete and talking to a male if extremely difficult its as if I’m breaking bro code and will be laughed at for bringing the idea up. I’m going to try to further myself towards the goal of releasing this frusturating bug off my shoulders with the steps listed above, if you are understanding to my issues and have any further comments that may help with my issue please reply I could use the help. Thank you for reading, to embarrassed to say.

  2. Miss Anonymous says

    Pornography is not something to be taken lightly. I’m so glad that you have chosen to be proactive against the addiction and wish you the best!

  3. Teenager says

    I’m a 17 years old teenager who is trying to quit porn. It is really addictive and everytime i tried quitting, I will end up looking at it again after a few days. I really hope that I can stop watching from today onwards and be able live my remaining teenager life to the fullest…. I hope that by subscribing to this webpage, I will be able to gain support from the forums and quit porn forever.

  4. Teenager says

    I’m a 17 years old teenager who is trying to quit porn. It is really addictive and everytime i tried quitting, I will end up looking at it again after a few days. I really hope that I can stop watching from today onwards and be able live my remaining teenager life to the fullest…. I hope that by subscribing to this webpage, I will be able to gain support from the forums and quit porn forever

    • Miss Anonymous says

      Pornography is not something to be taken lightly. I’m so, glad that you have chosen to be proactive against this addiction and wish you the best!

  5. Austin says

    I agree with everybody here I have been watching porn scince I was 13 and it had been brutal hell ever scince. I can’t stand these feelings but every time I turn to them like bees to flowers! After reading this site only minuets agao I now have a better understanding of this sick horrible addiction that is porn. I now realize that there are others like me and that if they can get help than so can I. So to every person that that’s shared their story I say fight it. With whatever you can stand up and fight. Even if you don’t feel like you can post a comment fight it we all need to stand up to this shit together and if not the most affected then who will. We have the power to change each and every one of us has the power the dedacation the will to step forward and say I can stop this! A famous person once said that all people need to hear is a voice to lead them through a dark tunnel. Each and every one of you can be that voice and each and every one of you has the pourer to change so I say to hell with porn! We don’t need this shit nobody dose and neither do the people who do it porn is a desiese and the only way to fix a desiese is not wishing it to go away it is with medicine. And this time we are the medicine the people who can stand by it all and say this is wrong this is not what life is about this is the wrong choice so I say to you people, if you are a man a woman or any race for religion you can fight this deseise you can prevail and I hope that one day I can to. So let my final words be fight, fight for your sanity, your peice if mind, and most of all your self worth everyone can be a hero all it takes is a voice, and I hope mine has helped you use yours.

    • Zane says

      I’m not really addicted to porn but I have a masturbation problem. I kinda have mixed feeling about it because it prevents me from having sex before marriage. I watched porn for the first time in a long time tonight because I’m wide awake and the opportunity was there. All I can think about is what a terrible person I am. I’m suppose to be a leader of my youth group and have talked to my youth pastor about it before and my mom like an intervention and I swore on that day is never so it again. Well here I am. I feel awful I know I’m a hypocrite and I’m ready to change. (Been ready) if any one that actually reads this please email me at zanetyler37@gmail.com. I could really use something to bright my spirits. Please is anyone out there willing to help. I need a accountability partner that’s unknown to avoid lying because of embarrassment. I’m tired of the guilt. Thank you. God bless us all

  6. ymakhfee says

    I am married and when I away from my spouse porn watching idea hits and I begin to watch porns . How to get out ???

  7. killer says

    am a sex addixt too………..
    Is any sex addict here…?
    sex is good porn is good….addiction is gooood :*:*
    this is life daa..!! enjoy 8======> {{}}

  8. dean says

    a dudes i cant stop my self i can for a fu days but its simple things woman on tv are a tut well come in to my head and the more i try not to think about it the more i think of it i have just stoped drinking and just stoped smokeing aswell most of the time when i wood get thes tuts i wood have a smoke and by the time it was out the tuts where gone but i dont have that any more to help and when i give in and watch some i feel so bad about my self after need help

    • sean says

      Controlling breath is really a good method to stop you from watching porn. I was unknowlingly using the ERP method to kill the craving in the past weeks. Another similar, but a little brutal, method that i found it useful is to stop breathing instantly when the temptation comes in. I literally breathe in air and fills it max in my lung, and hold my breath untill the tempting thoughts all go away. At least a minute… or more depending on the intensity of the temptation. Literally you can think im suffocating myself…. but when i stop breathing, i realized that my thinking process literally is going to shut down. You feel your brain is turning into offline mode, but not completely. Its like trying to shut down your computer for that seconds. :-)

  9. Anonymous says

    This takes guts to do this. I’m a girl. The most awful thing to do is admit you have a problem. No one knows that I have one except my one friend but I didn’t talk to her about it in a long time and that was at a chrich camp. I feel so 2 faced all the time. I talk to God and ask for help and I want to feel that its going away but its not. I started when I was 12, when I was at my my friends house(the one who knows know). It was me and 2 of my friends the one said it would be funny the’d done it a lot of times and then we agreed. I never knew what all of this stuff was because I never liked it. It groased me out, it still does but when I see again I’m doing it again. I’m so angry at myself all of the time after I did it but it never stops. I talk to God and beg for fogiveness and then I think I’m fine but then I do it again. The pain and guilt hurts so badly and no one knows that I’m broken inside. I asked the question to myself a lot of times: why do I do this? And then I realise that I felt lonely and when someone shoed me this funny thing I tried it out by myself and then it hooked me like a fish on a hook and know its not going away. Its hard saying this and no one is actually going to reply on it but the admit counts. I did it 2 times today and I’m getting SICK of it seriously and then 4 the first time I searched ‘ how to stop watching porn’ and then I came across this. I really hope this thing works because I’m trying this. Thanks Alex. Thanks for all the people who shared their story.

    • Anonymous says

      Hey i can totally relate to you. I never told anyone, not even my family or friends. But i amit it on here and i prayed once to ask God for forgiveness but i ened up doing it again. I really want to stop now and i’ve first started it at 12 years old by unintentionally coming cross a wikipedia image. I did not know it would have such a strong affect on any human being but it does. I am a teenager now and i really do wish to stop before it becomes so out of control. This can really affect our brains, hormones, and even life in the future.

    • A fellow addict... says

      I don’t know who you are personally, and yet I know you better than half the people I know. Pornography is the single greatest regret I have in life, and I have hated myself since the first time I gave in. I’m a 17 year old pastor’s son who’s been addicted for four years this summer. I feel I’ve soiled my youth, and despite the forgiveness God willingly gives without end, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself. My dad is the only one who knows (and only because I was caught mind you), and even he was kind and gentle where I’ve been harsh and self-critical. Only recently have I learned to tell myself that I’m just an ordinary human with the same basic problems that all others go through. My point is that you are not alone, and you need not suffer alone. Nine out of ten people here understand the pain you’re going through, and at least seven out of ten (from what I’ve experienced) are willing to support you. It took courage to post here; you seem determined, so I have faith that you’ll do fine. If you pray for my addiction, I’ll be pray for yours; we are both serious and dead-set on a revival from this sinful affliction that has plagued us both for so long. I’m happy for you, that you found this site. I remember when I found it; shining like a beacon of light in a dark storm, this site has helped me so many times. Whoever you are, I’m sure you’ll find it just as helpful as I did!

      Sincerely,
      A fellow addict

      • inperfect says

        Looks like we all have d same or a similar story bro. All we cn do is jst to keep hoping nd working towards a brighter day. It’ll get better am sure of it. I jst dnt knw wen. But one thing am sure of is….. He is working on us. He is.

      • Anonymous says

        I am a paster’s son too. I’m only 12. Nobody knows about my addiction which has been going on sence I was 10. I’m so scared of how my parents would react if they found out. I don’t know how to tell them I have an addiction or if I even should. I’m afraid. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone have advise for telling someone about their addiction? Only God knows about my addiction, but someone I know who lives on this earth needs to know so they can hold me accountable and help me to stop. I know we’er all fighting this together, so please help me.

        • Well wisher says

          Don’t be afraid of what’s happening around u or what’s happening in yourself. You know something brother, the God is the real witness of what happening in our thoughts as well as in our deeds.He know each and everything happening around him. You are a little child. The God did not want you getting spoiled by watching porns. He had so many dreams for your future. If you are watching porn, then He can make failures on you. If you control yourself and do good then the ultimate God will bless on you and he’ll be a play-mate for your success. So pray God. Engage in other affairs like playing, hearing music and so on. Be in open conversations with others. Don’t make yourself to be alone. All will appear better and for that just believe in God and move on…….

    • Anonymous says

      I am so happy that I’m not alone. My story is that I can control myself from watching and acting stuff out, but what I can’t control are the thoughts. When I started, I was young and only wanted to see girls because I didn’t want to know what guys looked like. Big mistake. It completely ruined my idea of my sexuality: I don’t know what I am anymore. When I see a pretty girl, the first thing that pops into my mind is sex, and it kills me that I can’t see someone for who they really are anymore. The thought goes away quickly, but the guilt and shame seep in so deep, I can’t concentrate on anything but my weakness and failure. I have to constantly second-guess if I like a guy for who they are or what they can give. It is the most disgusting thing ever, and I wouldn’t have told anyone if it wasn’t my friend who revealed to me that she was cutting because of porn addiction. I had to tell her and two others who were really close to me, and it made me feel much better, though I constantly think of dying now. I don’t think I will do it; I really doubt it because I want to live. But I am going to try this approach and hopefully I will get better. I have to.

  10. amdcrawford says

    Excuse I’m 12 I’ve had a porn addiction since I was eleven I don’t know wat to do even tho a lot of people I know watch it I feel that I should stop plz can anyone help me

    • FTRW Coach Craig says

      You are brave my friend. I congratulate you for reaching out. I highly recommend you tell someone. You should not have to bear this burden alone at 12 years old my friend. I know your parents might get upset but they love you and I’m sure want you to be well. Do not screw around with your sexuality! If you had a busted up kidney you’d tell ‘em. This will only get worse my friend so congrats on reaching out and keep it going. TELL YOUR PARENTS OR A TEACHER OR A COUNSELOR.

      • A fellow addict... says

        I couldn’t have said it better myself; My dad caught me when I was already deep into my problem, lost to a terrible void that was my stupid addiction. I expected him to be angry, but he showed only kindness and desire to help me. Had I told him sooner, I could have stamped it out before it grew; I could have avoided it all. I already plan to tell my best friend whenever I get to see her, just so I can willingly let go of the burden. Tell someone; keeping it in is the worst thing you could ever do.

    • FTRW Coach Craig says

      Welcome my friend. I’m glad you are here and proud of you for taking action. If you are going to get mad, use it to motivate you to take action. What are you doing to quit?

  11. Em says

    Hello,
    My name is Em, and I am a female that’s 16 years old.
    I am an extremely good student and am very cultured and well mannered. I fell into pornography around 13 or 14. I have tried to stop every year and I will usually relapse after four- five months. The longest abstince was roughly a year– I applied for a job at a camp I have been going to since I was seven….they are doing a background check because this year I can be a counselor. I am very good with children and people. I am worried that I will not be able to get this job because of a stupid decision I made online a long time ago that is still affecting me. Note I have not been on a porn site for over a month currently. It makes me sick to think of what people will think of me. Is it crazy to feel paranoid that I won’t get hired? I am not a pedoephile or a sex offender to children, that’s gross! I am just a teen who stumbled upon it and it’s come back to bite me! Can someone please give me more advice. Am I crazy to feel this way. I have repented to G-d, but I am so scared. I am literally eating at myself and I am causing myself so much stress and grief. I am searching for ways to understand that it’s okay and I won’t be punished. But I am so afraid. :(

    • FTRW Coach Craig says

      Hi Em, I don’t understand why you are worried. How would this come up? Did they ask you specifically if you watched porn? If not, I can’t see how this will come up in a background check. Tell me more so I can help.

  12. Worn Out says

    Nickie I hear your pain….Wish to hell that I could say I didn’t have a clue how that feels but unfortunately I am very aware of that type of pain.

    Started on my porn career age 6 at the corner store….accidentally picked up one of those half-sized magazines they used to have in corner stores. Immediately blown away by seeing naked women. My mom came in the store and caught me. Hard to say how it actually played out…..my shame-filled memory remembers her telling me you must never look at that stuff because that stuff abuses women and is so hurtful to them….true but I’m 6 so the whole world only exists of the 5 square blocks I live in, I’m innocent because I accidentally stumbled on to this, and worst of all what do I do because it felt amazing to look at that magazine and I was immediately hooked. Now I knew that I wanted to go right back and look and also this stuff was terrible to look at…bad connection. I think my mom tried her best to handle the situation and likely did a better job but that was what I took away….

    age 12…lots of porn
    age 20…even more porn….became religious to ‘fix it’….God I’ll do anything for you if you just fix this….went to Bible college to become a missionary for my part of the deal
    age 22…marriage number 1. We were kids…she is a great person. The porn was a constant issue…and the lies….
    age 27…intervention…she had the two pastors at my church do an intervention with me…actually very helpful and loving…counselling begins….strip clubs become a part of my career
    age 30…join Sex Addicts Annonymous…very helpful. Strip clubs stop but the porn….this frickin porn addiction roles along
    age 32…marriage 1 implodes…actually a good thing. Healthy move for both of us and amicable
    age 33…start dating a beautiful young woman and start building a mature relationship…now engaged and soon to be married. She is gorgeous but the porn keeps drawing me in….I don’t get it I’m so attracted to her but the porn just keeps drawing me in.
    age 38 now…..EXHAUSTED by all of this craziness. I can’t stop acting out. Always catching a fix here or there. Lost most friendships due to just taking too much time out to invest in my porn career. Have my own business and own office. Now when I go to work I can’t even stop from acting out almost every day. This has been totally destroying my life! I know that if I just stop using the porn it would fix about 95% of the messed up stuff in my life. Its so simple….yet every day I go back to the well to drink.

    I’m going to try this site and keep you all posted. Sorry to sound depressing and wish I had some great success to share…not yet. If you can relate just know you are not alone….that is the biggest lie. And best advice I think I’ve ever had (sent to you Nickie) is keep coming back. Sometimes the victor is simply the one left standing so as hard as it is on days when it feels so discouraging and you don’t even want to leave your house just try for one more day. You can give up tomorrow but not today!

      • Moeen says

        Oh my brother, your life is far…far…far more precious than the stupid habit that has gripped you. Let’s not give in to this Satanic habit, our lives are more worthy than this crazy addiction. Let’s fight this habit until it vanishes permanently from our sacred lives.Believe me, it’s not impossible, there are many drug addicts who have come out of their addiction so why can’t we? Together we will not only cure ourselves of this habit but also we’ll make sure that it affects no one else in future. I wish to start a campaign to educate people about this problem and to get a porn free internet for our next generation consequently wiping out the porn from the globe for ever. Let’s be patient and surely Allah (God Almighty) is with those who patiently persevere.

    • says

      Hey, I know it can get pretty hard as I have been there. You will notice that the costs/effects of this habit will be to much to handle. Some need to get to that point where they can destroy them self, before taking the decision to STOP and change the habit.
      Wish you focus and hope you get back here to let us know your success, so others can be inspired to make the change.
      Regards

  13. Anonymous says

    Out of all the things I’ve searched online I’ve never searched, til now, ” how to stop porn addiction? “… I’m 21 with two children, and I’ve been watching porn and masturbating since I was 3, yes 3.. As a child I came across my brothers porn like many others and I couldn’t tell because I felt it was wrong but I liked it. So I mimicked what I seen when ever I had privacy… I stuck things inside myself … batteries, the feet of my dolls, pencils anything! And the desire for sex and porn grew as I got older but I couldn’t find it any where until I found a porn – magazine at this time I was 7 and had already kissed, touched, humped, and sucked on the beast of two girls in my building. I had a problem, I would do things til I bled by the time I knew I could buy porn on tv, I did, racked up hundreds of dollars, while my older brother got blamed and punished for them and I sat quietly while he pleaded to my mom it wasn’t him who ordered the porn, how could I risk any one stopping me? Still a virgin, not even interested in sex, just with myself. .. but as I got older and boys showed more interest I became more curious but my mother always told me about sex how I should wait for marriage and boys took advantage of girls after sex or for sex, so I stayed away to make my mom proud and my addiction grew because in my mind.. If stayed away from actual sex, porn was a better alternative -I was doing the right thing- as a teenager things got roughbbetween my mom and I, to rebel I had sex, 16, I lost my virginity… With an unrealistic expectation of sex, I suffered emotionally, when my boyfriend didn’t want sex as much as the porn stars did I felt unwanted and not good enough, and the only time I was happy was when I was having sex, sex meant love to me, only sexual-physical contact made me feel like I was good enough. A year later we broke up. And the cycle continued onto my next boyfriend together 3 years but sex drive was low, he was over weight and uncomfortable so he didn’t show affection he never kissed me or held me or anything, he only seemed to love me during sex, moaning meant appreciation, touching was affection, kisses was love… but the bigger he got the less sex we had in turn the less I felt like he loved me. Along came a man who guaranteed me sex all the time and affection after, pet names, hand holding the whole package… but not a relationship, to me if I had love (sex) and I was a good woman, why did I need for him to say I was his girl? So I left my boyfriend and began this “thing”, at first it was EVERYTHING he promised, sex every where/whenever. .. He called, texted all the time showed real interest (love) so for the first time I was IN LOVE and pregnant… He wasn’t interested in me anymore, no sex, no calls -nothing- he told me I was JUST SEX, he said why would you keep a baby and you were JUST SEX and that’s when I finally knew there was a difference between sex and love. This whole time even having sex and me, in love.. I still watched porn after every intimate moment becausemy brain was hard wired! I couldn’t climax via sex, it only happened with porn, without porn I didn’t climax! So I kept watching… I had our daughter we tried to work things out as parents, but still no relationship but we were back having sex because I couldn’t stop feeling affection from him that only came thru sex. .. now baby number two… 21 years old after still hearing im JUST SEX and he Doesn’t love me and I’m crying searching for porn to calm down and feel something like love, sex, sick to my stomach of how I let it get this bad, why I couldn’t see this was a PROBLEM, how could a smart girl like me become this… A baby mama. To a man who doesn’t care if I breathe.. and all I could do was turn to porn? A Christian, who’s been trying to stop both the porn and unwed sex but can’t because without either I’m depressed and suicidal! I finally searched “how to stop porn addiction? ” and I find this, and I feel like there is an end to this, and I’m not alone… Thank you

  14. parul says

    thank u alex.. ur advice rilly does work.. i tried 2 stop watching porn.. nd hvnt watched it since d past month.. dat b bout 38 days.. i made a resolution dis new yr.. dat i wud nvr evr watch porn again..!! nd unlyk most oder ppl here m just 17yr old nd a gal..!! i destroyed 2 v imp yrs of my lyf.. but now i wanna get bttr.. finally thnk u again alex.. site was a v big hlp thnk u..

  15. Maliloru says

    The first time that I knew was sex was, became when I was 6 years old, one night I had to sleep with an older uncle, he was twenty something I don’t remember, any way, I was sleeping and he started to put his hands between my thighs , up an down, I woke up because of the heat and the incredible sensation, I was afraid but I didn’t want him to stop, then he put his thing on my mouth , I was like, what this?, he just asked me not to move and came…from that moment I thing that I been in hell, because it was the first and last time that he did that to me and I wanted him to do that again, but he knew better and never did it again, so I decided to start doing this to other kids, but it didn’t feel the same, then I found magazines, videos and now the internet, I don’t want to feel that I always need sex, how do I change that…

  16. Maliloru says

    Wow!, I just watched the movie Don Jon and like the other reviews , I feel the same, guilty and ashamed , but I always go back. I am constantly thinking about sex; every person, object, situation, movie,ect . I though that , this was normal, since we are guys, you know the hormones, testosterone, stamina, but, I’am not a teenager, I am 38 years old , I feel old, tired, fat and I don’t know I have a problem but why is so hard to get out?. I have a partner that we been together for 9 years, sex was good when we started, but because a chemical and hormonal problems we don’t have sex often, I don’t remember when was the last time that we have sex, but I love him, he is a great person and when we have sex is great, but I think that because of my addiction is hard for me to want to have sex with him.

  17. Mike says

    I can’t help but share my story. First I want to thank Alex for creating a site like this and understanding how serious this addiction is and how dangerous it can be.

    I discovered porn at 13 years old. My cousin found his dad’s mags and vids and I figured if his dad had them, well, then so did mine. He did! I became obsessed. I would watch 6-7 hours a day during the summers when he was at work. Heaven help us with the ease of internet porn these days.

    Like most of us I figured it was “normal”. It was part of growing up and being a guy. I lost my virginity at 14 1/2 in the ninth grade. I was in the middle of the pack in high school. Not the coolest but not totally abandoned. I had a couple of girls friends but only had sex with the first one. I vividly remember being at a party one Friday night and watching one of the “cool football players” making out with the “hottest cheerleader”. I was so envious, it was like my porn fantasies coming true in front of my eyes, I just wasn’t involved. I so desperately wanted to be the guy that “got the girl”! My fantasies always came true when watching porn so the cycle continued.

    I got married at age 23 totally addicted to porn and she had no idea. She was a virgin and very conservative to begin with. My addiction grew. Computers became more common place, guy talk as an adult became more risqué and I had completely given into the notion that this was just how guys were.

    I was a good looking guy when I got married but after marriage I put on a ton of weight. My self confidence had plummeted. Between long days at the office in front of a computer and late nights after she went to bed I was totally obsessed with porn. The problem with porn addiction is that it blurs the line between fantasy and reality. I began wondering why my wife didn’t act like these porn girls? Why didn’t she do the over the top sex acts they did? She just wasn’t fun! She didn’t really love me!…see where I’m going??

    Well, one day when I was 30 (7 years married) an attractive, fit, tall blonde account rep came into my office. Long story short after several months of working together and flirting we had an affair. Why would this great looking woman want anything to do with me? An over weight, out of shape, married guy with kids?……the answer, money! LOL BUT what I took away from it was that woman don’t think like guys! I started researching the differences between men and woman. How they view relationships differently how they view sex, etc. My porn addiction was out of control and I needed more! I needed the real thing! I needed to experience these things that porn had made me believe were achievable reality. Sooooo, I lost weight. I got in shape. I got attitude and confidence. I walked around like a movie star in my mind. I figured it out, how to attract woman. But I was MARRIED!! What the hell was I doing?? Porn made me want what I should want AND didn’t need!

    Over the next 5-6 years I slept with over 100 woman. As the years progressed I looked for darker and darker activities. Threesomes, public sex, swinging, bdsm…etc. I was in a full blown DOUBLE LIFE! At home I was a great dad, we went to church, we lived in middle America with decent income …..behind the scenes I was lying to cover up lies. I was involved with multiple woman at the same time. It was madness, insanity!

    Then my bubble bust! Like a Ponzi scheme falling from wall street my entire world got flipped upside down. I got caught! My wifes world was crushed! The amount of pain that was delivered on my immediate and extended family was not measurable. The disgust towards me from those that loved me was unbearable. I could write for two days about the aftermath but I’ll spare you, I hope you can imagine how bad it was……now multiply it by ten!!

    So there I was, sitting on the floor balled up in the corner, in a lonely apartment, my wife and kids just 3 miles away but I was exiled from the home, by mom only 5 miles away and she wouldn’t speak to me, all our friends backs turned on me in disgust, not wanting to live! A once fairly successful business professional with TV commercials, member of the church and community organizations with beautiful wife and children reduced to NOTHING! Over PORN AND SEX ADDICTION! I didn’t have a problem with alcohol or drugs. I worked hard. I paid my bills and taxes. I didn’t commit crimes. I just watched a “little porn” right? It’s just what guys do right?…..

    WRONG!….porn is a disease! And the worst kind. It’s like a sneaky cancer where you don’t realize it’s a problem until you’ve lost EVERYTHING! I don’t get to tuck my kids in bed at night because of porn! I don’t get to see their faces on Christmas morning because of porn! I get to sit like an outcast at children’s plays, dances and ball games because if porn! I get to live on a shoe string budget because of porn!

    PLEASE WAKE UP! If you found this site your struggling, PLEASE SEEK HELP!

    I’m pleased to conclude by saying that for the last two and a half years I have worked very, very hard on myself. I identified the problems, the reason I self medicated with porn (and there is a deeper issue, don’t kid yourself). I’ve gotten spiritually sound through Christ and church. I’ve taken a new leash on life and I control it, I don’t let it control me. I had to lose everything to make me wake up, don’t let that happen to you.

    If anyone needs advice or lending ear you can email me at olympus972@yahoo.com.

    • sad 13 year old says

      I need to stop and Islam hopping I will I needed help I go to church had everything going good but the I got addicted and every things falling apart
      Thanks Alex for helping

    • A fellow addict... says

      Your story is a tragedy… I cannot express the sorrow I feel toward you. I’m 17, a pastor’s son, and someone who has made his faith his own through his own decision. I’ve also been addicted to porn since I was 14. I remember praying to God on numerous occasions, asking him “give me the strength to change, or please let me die young”. I’d never even consider suicide, but I would rather die than grow up and have it effect those dear to me like that. Your testimony is the greatest tool God has ever led me to; I now see what can happen if I let this go, and I am damn determined to not let this happen! I am sorry for you and your sad life, but take heart in the fact that you are helping others in ways that an ordinary man could not; you may have been beaten and broken, but you are now the thing that will push many to recovery; thank you Mike.

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