How to Stop Porn Addiction – One Powerful Technique to Help You Stop Watching Porn

Do you want to know how to stop porn addiction? The answer is simple but not easy.

Before we get started, I want to make sure that you are aware that we provide a Free Recovery Course and a Free Forum. Both are Free as in air that you breath, and are placed there for one reason only – to help you.

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Even if you don’t want to join our forum, make sure to visit it and read through some of our member’s stories. Recovery Journals and Support for Partners could be especially helpful in providing insight into pornography addiction and effects it has on people’s lives.

That being said, lets get back to the article below. It is organized in 8 major parts. In parts 1-3 I share my understanding of the porn craving. In part 4 I share a powerful technique that allowed me to stop porn addiction, at least for the first 30 days. And in parts 5-8 I list some other tips for long term recovery.

A few words about me – founder of this site. My name is Alex and I am a recovering porn addict. I have been in recovery since early 2008, and while my recovery is not perfect, I was able to abstain from watching pornography for over 99% of my time. Additionally, although I do not recommend this for single people, I have not masturbated since January 2009, CHOOSING my wife as the only source for my sexual  experience.

What I am about to share with you does work.  Below is a quote, from one of our readers. You can read more reviews here, if you want.

I never though that porn addiction is real, but after reading the info on this site I now truly understand it. This site is beyond awesome and amazing… it really explains what and why I am going through right now.
Anonymous

I am not here to tell you what you should  or shouldn’t do with your life. But I think that techniques that I used to stop porn addiction, could be used to make lasting change in all areas of our lives.

1. Pornography Is Not Just a Bad Habit!

A first major component in my own recovery was an understanding that pornography viewing was not just a bad habit. It was an obsessive compulsive cycle (see Figure 1 below) from which I was not able to break free. It usually started with an unwanted sexual thought that I would try to avoid for as long as I could.

Figure 1. Obsessive Compulsive Cycle of Pornography Addiction

Unfortunately, trying NOT to think about something never really worked for me, and eventually I would get to a point where thoughts would get so intense that I couldn’t handle the pressure any longer. Then I would go back to the only way that I knew to make sexual thoughts temporarily go away – watching pornography and masturbating.

After sexual acting out I would slowly come back to my senses and realize what have happened. I would feel guilt for being so weak and giving in and I would swear to never do it again!

Unfortunately over time I would find sexual thoughts coming back, and since I didn’t know how to handle them in a healthy way, the whole cycle would repeat itself.

Clearly fighting my sexual desires only made them come back stronger and faster, and I began to rely more on pornography and masturbation to help me get a temporary relieve.

Eventually this cycle got completely out of control to the point where I would have to spending most of my day watching porn. My brain got so used to regular imagery that I would have to seek out really hard core pornography in order to temporary satisfy my desires, and allow me to return to my normal state.

In other words, I found that the more I fed my porn addiction, the stronger it got.

2. No Craving Can Last Forever!

The second component that I learn was an understanding that any human feeling, including cravings, cannot last forever. In actuality any physiological impulse is shaped like a bell curve (see figure 2 below).

At first cravings starts out slow but grow exponentially until they get really intense. Somewhere along this path most of addicts would end up giving in. As the result they get used to an idea that they could never get past their cravings and that their cravings will eventually get so strong, that they will have no choice but to give in.

Figure 2. Craving Curve

In actuality human beings cannot sustain any emotion or feelings indefinitely, and eventually any feeling or craving will decrease.

So the trick to stopping porn addiction is to learn to ride out cravings; to master a skill to stay away long enough for cravings to go away. This of course sounds simple, but as many addicts know it is not as easy to do.

Below I am going to share a technique with you that have helped me do just that. But first let me show you a few simple physiological signals that can be used to measure how strong our craving really is.

3. Physiological Signs of a Strong Craving

It is important to know certain physiological changes that begin to take place in human body when they experience strong desire to watch porn and/or masturbate compressively. Such changes include:

  •     Rapid Pulse
  •     Increased blood pressure
  •     Dilated Eyeballs
  •     Shallow Breath

It is important to know these symptoms because this knowledge can provide us with information needed to help us on our way to recovery from porn addiction. Let me explain.

We can learn our pulse rate during normal state and then use this information to recognize if our pulse is getting too high. Therefore pulse can serve as an easy to measure indicator that we are about to get out of control. At the same time we can use pulse measurement to let us know that we are exiting the danger zone and that the physical craving begins to decrease.

Another very important component that is easy to observe is our breath. Breath is the only subconscious bodily function that we can consciously control. Think about it! You cannot control your blood pressure, you cannot control you pulse, but you can control your breath. You can take slow, deep, controlled breaths, and through that you can have a direct effect on your subconscious mind. This is a very powerful key to stopping porn addiction!

4. Killing the Craving

So let’s move right into action. The technique that I used to help me overcome the craving is called Exposure and Response Prevention or ERP and is generally used for Obsessive Compulsive disorder and other psychological problems. It’s been around for a very long time, tons of people use it, and it is very effective. I’ve originally learned this technique from a book called “Kill the Craving” which uses ERP to help people with alcohol and drug addictions, and I slightly modified the approach to help me overcome porn addiction.

The key idea of this technique is to systematicallyexpose yourself to situations that would usually cause you to feel a strong craving and practice responding to this craving in a healthy way.  This practice allows our subconscious mind to learn a healthy response mechanism by the time we are faced with a real craving.

Over time you will learn that cravings do not rule your life, and that there is a way for you to ride out a craving and return to your normal self without having to act out. And the high that you get from feeling proud of yourself will be much stronger than any high that you could possibly get from porn addiction.

ERP works in the following way. You first identify a trigger, and as soon as you feel the physiological response from your body, you measure your pulse rate, which you would likely find to be a bit higher than your normal pulse. After that you immediately shift into a controlled breathing exercise to calm your subconscious mind. Next you review your personal motivation statements, to remind yourself of all the positive things that you can bring into your life if you were not to act out. Then you measure your pulse again, and note the difference. Last but not least, you follow up with an act of self care. Let’s look at those steps a little more closely.

Step 1 – Identify or imagine the triggering situation.

While ERP is very effective with helping you overcome a real trigger, it will not be as helpful unless you have already practiced it continuously before facing the real danger. Therefore I recommend a commitment of at least 30 days with complete ERP practice being done the first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

A quick note on sources of trigger is due here. The book that I’ve mentioned earlier “Kill the Craving” recommended alcohol and drug addicts to look at photographs of their addictive substances in order to generate an addictive response. This approach, however, did not seem practical for porn addiction, because looking at addictive images was precisely what I was trying to avoid.

I solved this conflict by creating a strong mental image of myself in a triggering situation instead of looking at actual photography. For example I would imagine myself being alone with computer, or passing by a magazine stand at the store.

Our brain is not able to tell the difference between a vivid mental image and a real life situation, and will produce a similar physiological response. That way Exposure and Response Prevention techniques can be practiced in a safe environment, without having to expose yourself to the real danger.

If at any time during the day you begging to feel a strong craving and a desire to act out, follow up with an extra ERP exercise. Personally, at first I found myself doing 3-5 ERP exercises per day, but soon was able to get through most of my days with only 1 or 2 exercises.

Step 2 – Measure your pulse rate as soon as you observe your body begin to change.

It is easier to measure your pulse for 15 seconds and multiply it times four. Follow this link to download a quick reference chart that will help you to quickly convert your pulse rate and keep the record of your progress.

It is likely that measuring your pulse rate may feel like a burden at first, but after a few days of ERP practice you will get used to it and it will become very easy.

Also, after 5 to 10 days of regular ERP practice you may notice that your pulse rate will not change as much as it did at first from you merely imagining a triggering situation. Please do not use this as an excuse to go look for more triggering stuff. After all it is the sole purpose of ERP practice to train your body not to react addictively to triggers. Therefore, take the decrease pulse rate as a sign of progress, and continue your practice for at least 30 days to allow new habit to form. (It takes about 30 days of repeating a certain task for human beings to form a habit)

Step 3 – Perform Controlled Breathing Exercise.

After you record your pulse rate, follow up with a controlled breathing exercise. Simply, breathe in for 10 seconds, hold your breath for 10 seconds, and breathe out for 10 second. Repeat it 10 times.

I use my fingers that I keep resting on my knees to keep the count of my breaths, tapping each finger for one of ten counts. That way I can free up my mind from counting and concentrate on breathing.

Remember that our breathing is the only subconscious function that we can control through our conscious effort. Do not overlook this step.

Step 4 – Review Personal Motivational Statements.

Next you review your personal statements. You will have to do a little homework on this. Just sit down and write down all of the reasons why you want to get sober. Why do you want to stop watching porn? What positive changes would it bring into your life? What negative consequences will you be able to avoid?

Answers to these questions must be able to touch the bottom of your soul. When I read mine I can literally feel the Goosebumps! That is how badly you need to want to stop this addiction and get the good things in your life. If you are not going to feel the Goosebumps and if it is not going to touch your soul, it is just not going to be strong enough to make you choose life instead of porn when you will be faced with real temptation.

Some of the statements that I used were: My dreams of having a wife and a child will come true if I walk away. I will be stronger and more in control if I walk away. I will regain my self-respect and dignity if I walk away. My family will be proud of me if I walk away. I will be able to look into people’s eyes, and feel proud of myself if I walk away. You can download 30 sample stamens here.

I had each of my reasons written on 3 by 5 cards, which I would read out loud to myself during each ERP practice. Cards allowed me to be doing (i.e. moving the cards), reading and hearing the message at the same time. Human beings learn the best by combination of action, seeing and hearing. (We learn even better by teaching something that we already know to somebody else. So when you get a handle on ERP practice yourself, try to teach it to another addict).

Step 5 – Re-measure your pulse rate.

When you first begin your ERP practice, you might notice that your pulse rates remain the same between steps 2 and 5. Sometimes you may even find it going up a little. It is normal. Over time you will learn to decrease your pulse rate, and you will be able to bring yourself back to your normal state. Ideally you should be able to decrease your pulse rate from its highest point by about 4 to 8 bits per minute.

Additionally, as I mentioned earlier, overtime you will notice that your pulse rate in step 2 will not be getting as high as it did at first in reaction to the triggers. This will be a sign of your progress.

Step 6 – Follow up with an act of self care.

This is also a very important step. You have to do something good for yourself. Preferable you need to get out of the house.

For my first 30 days I would go out and jog after my morning practice. And if I felt the craving again during the day, I would do another ERP exercise and follow up with a different act of self care, like cooking a healthy meal, journaling, or taking a nap. After my evening practice my act of self care was simply to go to bed early. You can view a list of 67 healthy things to do for fun.

5. One Technique is Not Enough!

I want to share one short story with you that helped me to put everything together and stop watching porn for good. Exposure and Response Prevention technique is great, but I think it would not have gotten the job done if it was used alone. Anyway, here is the story:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

So I thought what can I do to feed the right wolf? The answer was not as obvious as it might seem.

Over time I came to a conclusion that if I took a good care of myself, my good wolf will be stronger, and my bad wolf will be weaker. Therefore in addition to the daily practice of Exposure and Response Prevention, I committed to the following rules:

  • 8 hours of sleep a day
  • Eating Healthy (3 meals, and 2 snacks a day)
  • Drink plenty of water (at least 8 glasses a day)
  • Journaling about my triggers
  • Meditating
  • Morning and Evening Prayer
  • Avoiding Dangerous Situations (think acronym HALT)
    • Hungry
    • Angry
    • Lonely
    • Tired

6. Warning!

Soon after you’ll stop porn addiction, you will become able to get in touch with your true feelings. While this might sound like a good thing, you could find those true feelings to be unpleasant.

Chances are you’ve used your addiction for a very long time to escape discomforts of life, and when you take away this crutch, you might feel the full weight of your past mistakes.

Just realize that this pain is a temporary. Use this pain as a guide to identify what areas of your life need improvements, so you can face them and get the life that you truly deserve.

7. Other Resources to Consider

I used everything that I’ve outlined so far to help me get my first ever 90 days of sobriety from porn and masturbation. In the matter of fact I have not masturbated yet since I did my first 30 days of ERP practice. I did however look at soft core pornography on a few occasions so this method is not perfect. Actually, I have yet to find a perfect method, and when I will I’ll make sure to let you know. But for now I wanted to share a few other resources that I found helpful.

12 step groups

There is a lot of criticism out there in regards to 12 step groups, but I’ll recommend you doing what my sponsor told me to do, “Take what works for you, and leave the rest behind”. The best thing about the 12 step groups is that the infrastructure is already in place.

If you live near a major city, chances are you will have multiple meetings in your area. If you live in a remote location, you can always attend a phone meeting. It is there, it is available, and you can meet people who have similar problems and are looking for similar solutions. And best of all, it will only cost you a 2 dollar donation per meeting. You can view a full list of 12 step meetings here.

I’ve been attending Sex Addicts Anonymous for almost 2 years now (I started right after I lost my first 90 days of sobriety), and it has been a tremendous tool in my own recovery.

Professional Coaching

Professional counseling and coaching is a great tool, but you need to be careful, and pick a person experienced with porn addiction. That is why we are so happy to announce that we have our own coaching team specializing in helping people in recovery, their spouses, and couple’s together to survive and thrive from this addiction.

Craig Michelle_Perra

Additionally we have a Free Recovery Course posted on this site, which provides a lot more of other helpful information.

I am sure there are other good programs available, so make sure to find what works for you.

Accountability Software

Knowing that there is no way to hide my internet history made it much easier for me to make good decision when browsing the internet.

I recommend Covenant Eyes that costs $10 a month. This software does not filter any of the internet content, but it keeps a detailed report of all your internet activity and emails it to your accountability partner.

A free option that I also use is K9 web filter. This filter can block access to certain sites and keep track of all of the internet history. Just make sure that somebody else is in charge of the password.

No software is perfect and there is always a way around it, nevertheless I found those tools to be extremely helpful.

Educate Yourself

Read as much as you can on how to stop porn addiction. This is what I did and continue to do. It will not only help you to stop watching porn, but it will help you with the rest of your life.

Start Your Own Recovery Blog

Seriously! Starting this site was one of the best things that I did for my recovery. It forced me to really internalize everything that I’ve read, put it through my own conscience, and explain it to others. Best way to learn something, is to teach it to somebody else.  On top of that not only do you get to help yourself, but you get to help others too and make the world a better place.

You could try to do it through one of the free sites like blogger or tumbler, but I would highly advise against it. I started this blog on blogger, and a year into it, when it began to get more popular, I had to migrate to my own hosting and it was a nightmare! If I could go back, I would most definitely get my own domain and hosting from start.

I recommend Blue Host as a way to get started, because it is very well respected, very affordable, super easy to use, and it has excellent customer support.

Unlike back in 2008, starting a blog is super easy now and can be done in less that 5 minutes. See how easy it is to get started in the video below.

 

Click Here To Start Your Own Blog Now 

Spiritual Life

Get involved with your spiritual life, and make sure you make room for it.

Journaling

Journaling was one of the most beneficial tools for me. There is something magical about getting your thoughts on paper.

Remember, progress and not perfection!

Don’t try to do it perfectly and don’t try to be perfect. You will make mistakes, we all do. As long as you keep working at it, you will get better. It took you many years to get this far into your addiction, don’t expect to fix it all in 30 days. It will take you some time. Be patient with yourself, keep going, and your life will continue to improve.

If you stumble don’t beat yourself up.

Just learn from your mistakes, and over time you will become a new person. If you keep working at it, there is no other way; you will become a new person!

8. Thank You!

Thank you for carrying, thank you for trying to change yourself, and thank you for continuing to look for solutions. By making changes in yourself you are making this world a much better place!

If you know someone who is looking for ways to stop porn addiction, please share this message with them!

And remember to feed the right wolf :)

9. Join Our Free Recovery Course To Discover…

  1. A chemical process that takes place in your brain causing you to get addicted
  2. The addictive cycle that your body goes through and how to break out of it
  3. How the human brain works and why sometimes you lose control of your actions
  4. Four simple exercises to strengthen your brain
  5. How to create your sexual recovery plan
  6. How to control your cravings
  7. An important strategy to help you beat your addiction once and for all
  8. How your beliefs are causing you to suffer
  9. Seven beliefs that were keeping me trapped
  10. One big lesson that I learned from my relapse and what you can do to avoid my mistakes
  11. Two very important tools that can magnify your recovery
  12. Four things that you CAN do to help you stay sober for the rest of your life

Click Here to Start Recovery!

 

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Links:

Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Mindful Habit Course by Coach Craig
    Great advice from a great person.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    Hello I, have commented on this sight before, I just wanted to say how much this site has helped me. I went from not bothering to fight at all, letting porn rule my life, my schedule, my thoughts, to actually trying to fight it, with success. I gave in today, however I am going to get back on track. So far I have gone a few months without it when I used to do it every chance I got, I fell off the wagon a bit, now I go a week or so in between but I am still fighting and am resolved to do better. I have noticed some change even when I do give in, I often look away and think about something else then click the x.

    My main reason for wanting to stop this habit is for the woman I have fallen in love with. I am resolved that with Gods help, my desire to be loyal and the tips on this site I can quit porn.

    • Anonymous says

      never give up! i’m on my sixth week without watching porno or masturbating.. i too fell in love and just want to be happy

      • Anonymous says

        It’s truly amazing what we’ll do for love, it’s one of the reasons I’m on this site now, trying to find a way to stop my addiction. I want the woman I marry in the future to be able to look into my eyes and know that she’s the only women in my life, and in my mind.

  2. Sargonnas says

    Those tips are useless for me. Im being honest. However, its not that I am determined to stop my addiction, its that I dont have a chance. I need to stop it or end my life in a mental institution.
    I read a comment talking about a massive attack to free porn or even pay porn sites. Would be awesome, I hate so much those Filth Gates. I cannot believe the caught me in this addiction for 6 years now. The most I have been off porn was 27 days and masturbation only 2 weeks…

    I need some plan or tactic to fight this but while being lonely and addicted to computer its fucking impossible…

    I know that some day I will beat this addiction…

    Please guys pray for me, I will pray for you.

    • Josh says

      Ya man im praying for you, Dont give up your not defeated.
      John 16:33
      “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

      If you need some encouragment email me oshjay17@gmail.com

  3. Mona Aiono says

    After reading the helpful tips I feel that this is the solution to help my finally overcome my addication to porn. Pray for me please and God bless.

  4. Annonymous SA says

    Pornography has ruined my life.It took me a while to realize that pornaography was corrupting me and ruing my relationship with my loved ones and god. I dont want pronography to conrtoll my life anymore I want to change for the my own sake and for my family. But I dont know if i can do it alone pls help me.

    • nonamepleasethanks says

      i know EXACTLY what you mean. you can do it! also, here’s a tip: think of a personal mentor, someone you look up to. think to yourself, what would they do? it works! as weird as it seems, i use the Doctor from the BBC tv show Doctor Who, because he would never do something like that. good luck, and god bless.

  5. Timothy says

    You haven’t masturbated in 3 years? That’s incredible. I didn ‘t even know it was possible!
    I’ve been masturbating since I was six, yes I wrote that correctly, SIX. That’s potentially a decade before some people may start to do it. I’ve also been addicted to pornography since I was nine. While I always knew it was wrong I never knew just how badly it could ruin my life. It’s reached a point where I can barely become aroused by anything less than something completely taboo, such as beastiality.
    I’ve become completely dsigusted in myself, and after listening to a conversation earlier this evening about cigarette addiction I realised they’re not so different, in that I can overcome it. I’m not resigned to be a slave to it forever. I want to thank you for solidifying this belief, and showing me that not only is pornography something I can stop, but masturbation in its entirety. Thank you, Alex. Pray for me, and I shall do the same for you and everyone else :)

    • nonamepleasethanks says

      you can do it! ummm… awkward question, but i know someone from my school with the same name, if that is your name. if you aren’t him, i won’t give away his identity, but i was just wondering. redhead? last name has a farm animal in it? likes the band Primus? if not, nevermind, it is a common name. i only asked because i want 2 help if i personally know the person. let me know, i am a HUGE BOOKWORM and can do some research or something to help. good luck and god bless.

      • nonamepleasethanks says

        sorry, i just realized i may have put my friend in danger by giving out even a little info. so to any creepy stalkers out there, BUG OFF, or i WILL personally track you down and…….do i need to finish this sentence? anybody who ISN’T a stalker, nevermind, don’t worry about it. i shall not harm you if you’re innocent. :-) thank you!

  6. Tony says

    Like u all am an addit but with a turn of event imagine all most been killed in an accident parents all ways fighting,finding out ur real dad,not been chritian…e.t.c and not able to last for 2 days without masturbation for 2 year

  7. Cory says

    You have no idea how much hope this gives me, well, maybe you do. I can’t thank you enough, I’m just hoping I can break free, it’s been a long 6 years.

  8. Anonymous says

    I’m only twelve and I have had many problems similar to yours, sir. Thanks for the article. I will heed your instructions carefully. Thank you, may the lord above us bless you in every way. I know this was an increasing addiction, but i still blame puberty for this.

  9. maggi says

    fanx alot.. i feel sooo blesssed n feel lyk am saved after visitin dis site.. been stuggling 4 2.5yrs now.. fanxx n GOD bless.

  10. Ran says

    First, I must say, excellent information to break addictions!

    I wish I had found this information in my teenage years or at least in my 20s. If I had, my life might have been a lot better than it is today.

    However, I also need to point out that sex and masturbation are not evil. These are perfectly normal human physiological needs and responses which have helped with reproduction and survival of the human species. Any sight of sexuality will arouse us, and that’s normal.

    What is bad is addiction. Addiction is when it controls you. When you cannot control when you want to masturbate or when you want to have sex or when you want to watch porn to arouse yourself.

    My story starts from the time I was little. My dad was extraordinarily strict. He would punish me and scold me almost every day for almost nothing. If my little brother cried, he would punish me. If something happened somewhere, he would punish me. It was very harsh. It was not that he did not love me, he did. It was just that he did not know any other way of raising me because his dad raised him very strict too.

    That strict upbringing also meant that I had to be the best, at everything. I could not score anything less than 100% in all exams at school, and that’s impossible to do. I could never let my dad down. It was too much pressure.

    At age 6, I discovered masturbation. Yes, that early! And masturbation helped me get relief from that pressure of every day life. I needed it to get on with life. It helped me overcome the stress and focus on life.

    Yes, I did go through the cycle described above, where I would feel aroused, then masturbate, then feel guilty about it, … and eventually feel aroused again a few days later. However, I think that the guilt comes from the belief that sex and masturbation are abnormal. There’s nothing to feel guilty about. It’s really normal. If you are human, you will, in most cases, want to have sex or want to masturbate, periodically. The period depends on your hormone levels.

    However, addiction is the real problem. My addiction started when I was introduced to porn on the internet. My first time to use the internet was in 1997 at a friend’s home. I was in college at that time. For the first 4-5 months, it was purely educational. Then one of my friends showed me porn sites online. And that’s when my addiction to porn began.

    The reason this addiction affected me so badly is because it changed my perception of myself. I was not particularly good looking after age 8 or 9. I was mostly sun-burned, losing hair, crooked nose, losing hair on my head, very hairy on my body, very thick dense beard, big ugly nose, etc. I was also very self-conscious about this, resulting in social anxiety. I would break into a sweat if anyone looked at me. As it is, I wouldn’t have been very successful at dating.

    So while masturbation satisfied the basic human need, addiction made me not try dating at all. It made me withdraw from social situations. Women would invite me for birthday parties to their home and I would refuse to go. I would hardly talk with women. I wanted them, but I did not need them.

    By the time I reached my late 20s, I had been a complete failure with dating. My social life was non-existent. I had zero friends. I had serious health problems. I made the decision to change my life, to fix each and everything that stopped me from living my life the right way.

    I started with fixing the things I did not like about myself. It began with my teeth. I got orthodontia. Then corrected my nose. Then reduced the hair on my body and face with laser. Then … I reached a point where I had no complaints about myself appearance-wise. I get dates much more easily with women now. I am thousands of times more confident than I used to be. I’m in my mid-30s now.

    However, one last thing remained – my addiction to porn. I am unable to form a relationship.

    That’s why I am here on this site. I found this site a couple of days ago. I hope this helps me get over my addiction.

    For now, I have started with the steps outlined.

    - 8 hours of sleep a day
    - Eating Healthy (3 meals, and 2 snacks a day)
    - Drink plenty of water (at least 8 glasses a day)
    - Meditating
    - Avoiding Dangerous Situations (think acronym HALT)
    Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

    However, I find it very difficult to sleep and to stay asleep without masturbating to porn before sleeping. I don’t want to take sleep medication. The deep breathing does not seem to help fall asleep because my mind still keeps thinking about all the stress and pressure of life. I wonder if there are other techniques to fall asleep.

    • says

      I had the same pattern as you at nights. I found that exercise as well as keeping a regular sleep pattern helped me fall asleep without using the addiction.

      To establish a sleep pattern I did use a sleep aid.

      It can be done. Best of luck.

  11. Jake Y says

    I am in desperate need, I have a good heart, and good soul, and do have a relationship with god. However the temptation of the flesh seems to sneak up on me, and i always always have my guard down? I am inspired by your story, and would like to join this team, to fight against porn addiction. I am a very good person, i hate these disgusting habits, and want freedom!

  12. Josh says

    I started a porn addiction last year and ever since then ive done it off and on for the past year, im 18 years old. Ive seen how much it has hurt some friendships this past year and I dont want to chose PORN over Relationships anymore. I have a great support network arround me and I have a very strong desire to give it up and with Gods Help I know I can.

    Thank You for this Website.
    Im Starting ERP today, and I thankyou for all the other people who shared their experiences.

    Pray for me. I pray for all of you as well.

  13. Andrew says

    First I would like to think you alex for the info. Im 25 and up untill a year ago I watch porn and masturbated daily it sames like it now it started when I was probably 13. But I started to date this girl wdll now sje is my wife and she didn’t lile the idea of me doing that or watching it. So I told her I would not well I liad to her im getting better and I realized that I do have a problem and I want to fix it before I lose everything bevause I know if I dont stop she will leave me.and thanks again for the help

  14. Dimitri says

    Thank you for this information. It started when I was very young maybe around 15 and I am now 23. I have looked at content that is maybe labelled as acceptable, to things that have made me sick after watching. This is helpful.

  15. subbu says

    Hi,
    My addiction started at 15 and still continuing at 39. This is the only overpowering thought I have. I do not have high ambition/desire.This is like a quicksand/morass that drags me back in.May be I also dont want to kick this habit because it gives a tiny weeny bit of happiness.After masturbating twice or thrice I lose the zest for life for a week till their is a build up semen in the scrotum. Then it again starts. I was fantasizing for long but I have passed that bit now.

  16. Anonymous2 says

    Thank you for this article and thank you for being a help to those of us who wish to overcome this very controlling addiction!

    I have lost a good job and a lot of productive opportunities in my life from my addiction. Now that I think and reflect, my addiction has always lowered my self esteem and has withdrew me into an antisocial person. I have until recently always been in denial of my addiction and helplessness to pornography. When the time came that I finally needed to really control myself, I realized that, I was totally unable to. I am finally waking up to just how severely addicted I am to pornography and want to find the self will to stand up and beat it. Even after all the reprecussions my pornography addiction has caused me, i still find it hard to deny.

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