Candeo Can – Overcoming Pornography Addiction – Summary and Review


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If you want to skip the summary, go straight to the reviews at the comment area.

Candeo Can online program has completely revolutionized my personal recovery. I have learned more from this program in two months than I did in over a year of one-on-one counseling. I am now a year and a half free from compulsive masturbation, and 6 months free from purposely looking at any form of pornographic material.

Let me give you a brief overview of how Candeo Can training course is organized, and then later provide a detailed summary of all the material included in the course.

Course Review

Candeo Can has two main modules that you work from: your dashboard and the training room. You can seen a snapshot of the interface on the image below. (Click on the image to see it in high resolution.)

The dashboard is where you first land on the site. From there, you can:

  1. Communicate with your coach
  2. Update your support partners.
  3. Write your journal
  4. Review your personal motives for breaking the habit
  5. Access your emergency lifelines
  6. Enter the training room.

The training room is where you spend most of your time.

The Training Room

Candeo Can consists of 10 levels, each one taking approximately 1-2 hours to complete. Each level has exercises that you must complete in order to proceed forward, as well as homework assignments that must be done over a defined period of time ranging from 1 day to 1 week.

The best part about Candeo Can is that you receive the most updated information from three of the leading experts in the field of pornography addiction: Dr. Randall F. Hyde, Bernell L. Christensen, Ph.D., and Mark B. Kastleman.

In addition, all information is presented as video lectures, which makes learning fun and an efficient process.

Below is the summary of the material covered in the Candeo Can program.

The summary serves as a good preview for interested people as well as a good review for those who already completed the program.

Large portion of the summary is taken from lesson summaries provided at the end of each level, but I have added my own comments wherever I felt it was necessary.

If you have a question about the program or any of the techniques covered below, please post it in the comment area below.

Summary of the Included Material

Week 1: Your Brain and Addiction

  • How your brain forms habits and addictions.
  • The M.A.P. (Motive Awareness Practice) process to change any habit and break out of addiction.
  • How a powerful motive (WHY?) is the fuel for changing any behavior.
  • How distorted thinking—overpredicting pleasure, forgetting the pain, minimizing consequences (i.e., it is not that bad), complacency after a period of abstinence—gets in the way of positive change.
  • How a clear picture of what will happen if you don’t change, can help you. How a vivid vision of your wonderful life free of pornography is the most powerful motive of all.
  • How the daily review of your Dream Board and Life Creed is essential to your recovery.

Week 2: Why is Pornography Addictive?

  • The typical profile of someone who gets caught up in pornography and other sexual addictions. (Intelligent, sensitive, spiritual, weakness = strength)
  • The most common falsehoods and myths about sexual addiction.
  • A clear understanding of how you developed your sexual addiction—How did I get here?
  • The differences between “healthy sexual intimacy” and sexual addiction.
  • Replacement for real intimacy (shyness, social phobia) – acts of kindness
  • Evolution stages of addiction (excitement and pleasure, self medication, replacement for real intimacy, control and release phase)
  • How the Funnel of Sexual Process operates inside a healthy marriage relationship vs. the viewing of pornography and other sexual addiction behaviors.
  • Why pornography use is a “drug addiction” and the motivations for using this drug.
  • Triggers
    • BOREDOM
    • LONELINESS
    • ANGER
    • FEAR
    • STRESS
    • FATIGUE (being tired or burned out)
  • Identify how your addiction started
  • Acts of Kindness

Week 3: What is Driving Your Addiction?

  • Fear and avoidance are at the heart of your sexual addiction.
  • The more you fear, fight and avoid sexual thoughts, the more intense and intrusive they become, quickly evolving into an obsession that dominates your mind.
  • Seeking relief from being at war with incessant, intrusive sexual thoughts, you act out your compulsion (pornography, masturbation and other sexual addiction behaviors).
  • After acting out, you feel intense guilt, shame, regret and the like, which increase your fear and avoidance of sexual thoughts, starting the cycle all over again. This is called the Obsessive Compulsive Cycle or OCD.
  • With each attempt and failure to shut out intrusive sexual thoughts, the cycle deepens until you are trapped in the OCD Cycle.
  • Avoidance, mental extremes and exaggeration are emotional, psychological and spiritual death! It is the extreme that entraps.
  • The advice to “just quit thinking about it,” “avoid it,” or “get it out of your mind” has actually deepened your addiction! This is the worst advice there is!
  • Rather than being afraid, avoiding and running from sexual temptation—face it and deal with it reasonably, realistically and normally. You will have to “think” your way out of your addiction.
  • Just like other “drugs,” as you stop using pornography and engaging in other sexual addiction behaviors, you may experience withdrawal symptoms. Don’t worry. Once your nervous system calms down, you will find that normal life is exciting and stimulating again—you will be “high on life” again.

Week 4: How to Break Free

  • Running from your fears only intensifies them—you must face your fears to overcome them.
  • To break out of your OCD Cycle, use “Face-it (Recognize you are entering the cycle through addictive behavior), Replace-it (Acknowledge the true meaning of what is happening and what you really want to do in your life), Connect (Talk to a live person to bring you back to reality).”
  • Consistently use Scheduled and Real-Life Practice to rebuild your brain and create new healthy circuitry.
  • Record your Temptations and Statements of Truth in your own voice and then listen to them every chance you have.
  • Adding “Connect” as a third step to your Real-Life Practice will greatly accelerate your journey to freedom from addiction.

Week 5: Re-Create Your Healthy Brain

  • Every time you practice, you are following the Success M.A.P. that changes any behavior, habit or addiction.
  • Your recovery success depends on your ability to “raise your level of awareness”.
  • Brain cravings for stimulation can only be sustained for so long; you just have to seek relief at a certain point.
  • Set reminders
  • Practicing works because it follows the “ABCD Model” and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. (A – activating event, stimulus; B – believe, how should I respond, habit; C – Consequence, result of your beliefs = feelings and emotions. B is what happens between A and C, it determines your quality of life. D – Debate, logical, truthful debate with yourself to form a new belief, which will begin to bring positive consequences)
  • PRACTICE
  • Veto power over automatic processes (Debate). You have mastered many skills over your lifetime, and you will master your recovery skills.
  • Use it or lose it, your old brain circuitry atrophy (but it will always be there, and can re-grow back)
  • Once an addict, always an addict is a lie!
  • Consistent simple choices will set you free.
  • You can only break free by creating a new brain, not using your old one. Do it through practice.

Week 6: Be Ready Next Time Craving Hits

  • If you are overwhelmed by “the wave,” you need to take emergency action immediately!
  • It can be easy to forget the pain and consequences of your addiction and keep taking the “limbic leap”.
  • To “reconnect” your frontal lobes where logic and reason reside, “play the movie to the bitter end.”
  • Mental error, imagining how exciting it would be to do …
  • A highly effective Emergency Lifeline is “My letter to myself.” You can use this to keep yourself from going into the funnel.
  • Use powerful Lifeline Symbols to override the pleasure center of your brain and connect to the people and things that really matter to you.
  • Identify and invite two Emergency Lifeline People to be available when you are in a crisis.
  • Practice calling these individuals each week so you will be prepared when the “real thing” happens.
  • When you find yourself overwhelmed by the urge to act out your addiction, follow the 4 Steps for Emergency Action!
    1. Get your body moving.
    2. Gratitude Breath (Breathe and think about things in life that you are thankful for)
    3. Call your emergency lifeline person and review your lifeline symbols.
    4. Go connect to real people, move out of isolation.
  • If you have a slip, don’t waste one minute on shame and self-flogging. Assess, make adjustments and immediately begin moving forward again.
  • You are not perfect. Learning evolves in steps. Work, practice commitment and persistence.
  • Be a battle strategist: learn, adjust and move on.

Week 7: Healthy Sexuality in Your Life

  • If you interpret women as “erotic,” it’s because you’ve made them that way through repetitive thinking. You can make them different by altering your thoughts.
  • Knowing the “whole truth” about the women of pornography forever changes your perception of it.
  • You can be a great “brother” to all girls and women.
  • Sexual arousal is “creative power” manifesting itself in you. You can direct it for tremendous good!
  • Making love or having sex should be re-labeled to “Expressing Full Commitment,” which is only possible in committed relationship.
  • You can move sexuality to a much higher level.

Week 8: Developing Healthy Relationships

  • We all crave intimacy—we need to love and be loved—we need deep connection.
  • People often use sexual addiction to fill the “intimacy void”.
  • Trying to fill the need for human intimacy with pornography is like trying to continually fill a bucket with holes in it.
  • You’ve got to be your own “best friend” and stop self-betrayal.
  • Love yourself unconditionally first, and watch your capacity to love others blossom!
  • You must become very aware of your “self-talk”.
  • You can connect with others in simple ways that make all the difference to you and them.
  • You can start to heal damaged relationships just by directing your thoughts about others.

Week 9: Get Addicted to Healthy Life!

  • Simple Addiction is about stimulating the brain’s pleasure centers.
  • Dopamine and Endorphins can be used in healthy and destructive ways.
  • Taking the Limbic Leap into the Funnel disconnects the Frontal Lobes of the brain and puts the Limbic System in control—pleasure over logic and reason.
  • The brain quickly habituates and needs greater stimulation to achieve the same level of pleasure.
  • Certain situations or emotions can trigger your sexual addiction behaviors.
  • The key is to recognize your triggers early, before you are in a crisis.

Week 10: Back to the Basics

  • Internet pornography and other sexual addiction behaviors are powerful eroto-toxins. Your brain needs time to “re-sensitize” to the simple pleasures of life.
  • Healthy pleasure outlets should be an essential and regular part of your daily life.
  • Recognize the “early signs” that you’re BLASTed (Bored, Burned Out, Lonely, Anxious, Afraid, Angry, Stressed, Tired) and implement healthy outlets.

Once again, thank you for reading and I hope this information was helpful. To learn more about the program and to join thousands of others who, like myself, have found new freedom from pornography and sex addiction.

Please visit a free mini course at CandeoCan.com .

Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Mindful Habit Course by Coach Craig
    Great advice from a great person.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

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Comments

  1. shawn says

    Just a quick comment about candeo. I was very encouraged with the program at first but quickly became discouraged with login problems, broken links and not being able to get a response from anyone concerning these issues.

    They have numerous web addresses that are constantly changing. Good luck getting ahold of someone for help.

    I think their heart is in it but the web site and access to it is a joke.

  2. Cut Loose says

    Candeo is not the most successful recovery program like they claim. Those screen shots above don’t exist on the website. They keep changing the coaches -once you build a relationship with them, their coaches leave and your assigned a new one. You don’t get to choose who it is. My coach had a man’s name but was a woman. And I was switched to a new coach 3 times!!!

    There are better programs out there for less money! Don’t get sucked in. They are so dishonest.

    • Cut Loose says

      You BET! Life star, for one.- Also if you can see a counselor Dr. Randy Hyde used to do phone sessions if you live out of the area. He was actually a co-founder of Candeo.

      If your going to spend the money on recovery and self improvement it should be to someone who is honest and works hard. Doesn’t just steal the ideas. Those are a couple of suggestions but I recommend doing your homework. Different things work for different people. What matters the most is that your heart is in your recovery. You have to be determined and be willing to fail from time to time. That is always part of the process.

      Full recovery is possible and even probable if your willing to stick with it. Candeo is not the only option –it certainly is not the best option.

      How is that for a suggestion??

  3. juan says

    Hi guys I want to try the program I’ve been addicted to pornographic for almost 10 years is driving me crazy I can’t keep a relationship I can’t keep any job basically this addiction is destroying my life I need some help.please thank you

  4. Anonymous says

    Candeo is an excellent program but it is somewhat expensive. If you pay for 6 months up front (the minimum you can do) it costs $250. During this time, however, you will have access to a coach with whom you can talk to, a host of training videos, and a ton of excellent podcasts and articles. Yes, a lot of help is available elsewhere but Candeo has it all in the same place, and it is much more enjoyable to watch the videos then randomly browse articles on yourbrainonporn.com, and can keep you motivated. I also downloaded a bunch of podcasts and put them on my Ipod and try to listen to them every now and then for advice and motivation.

    To those unsure if they should try it, take the next few months to read all of the articles on this site, make a journal, and see how you do. If you haven’t made any progress and feel unmotivated to do the reading and be consistent, you might consider trying Candeo as the interactive nature of it can certainly be helpful to those struggling. You can always cancel after 6 months, after having got a lot out of it.

  5. A real person says

    If you are fighting addiction, I highly recommend avoiding Candeo. They don’t have your back.

    Candeo’s priorities are as follows:

    1.) Make as much money as possible.

    2.) Help people. (So long as it doesn’t inhibit #1 from happening.)

    (By the way, I beat the addiction with the help of http://www.yourbrainonporn NOT the Candeo program. So I don’t want to see any comments about “you didn’t try it, its your own fault, quit complaining.”)

  6. Jeff says

    Candeo Can is a ripoff. It’s very general and doesn’t apply to specific problems. If you want general help that falls under the very large umbrella of sexual addiction, then I suppose you could try it, if you want to risk a substantial amount of money on the advanced program. It didn’t take me long to realize that they were doing the exact same thing that many free programs that are available are doing, and charging an arm and a leg for it.

    In my opinion, it’s a big scam. If these companies that charge for help with sex addiction really wanted to help people, they would offer a way to get free help that really works, and isn’t just a teaser to get you to buy into their program. Candeo belongs in the can.

    • Paul says

      Jeff, let us agree to disagree. It does cost money. But how much time and money do you spend on porn ? Candeo is no scam, nor are they people who wish to rip you off. Any work deserves a salary. It’s all too easy to ask help for free when people give their time and money. Paying make you also take a commitment. When you take something free it’s all too easy to pull out when times are hard. I made the choice to take monthly subscription, for I wanted to try it for a while. When you’re a serious student and follow the program, you do get results. It does take time and commitment though, but maybe that’s what you lack. Here is the true scam, your commitment belongs in the can, sorry Jeff.

  7. W75 says

    Not sure what to do, there are mixed opinions. The cost is high. Can you please advise that what is the overall percentage of satisfied patients?

    Thanks,
    W75

  8. Jared says

    I’ve been training with “The Candeo Way” for over three months.

    Pros:
    The program gave me what I needed to overcome my addiction to pornography
    I am learning to think more positive about myself
    I know how to confront unhealthy behaviors and replace them with healthy behavior
    I am more proud of myself now than I ever have been
    The coaches are fantastic!

    Cons:
    If you sign up the for the “advanced program” they will not let you cancel your subscription until you have paid for six months. I lost my job and not being able to cancel has been frustrating.
    The website is slow which is also pretty annoying.

  9. Anonymous 26 says

    Sorry, that’s candeo chapter 9 (partner relationships) exercise 34 (current relationship) – screen dump or transcript will do. I just need to know what they want us to do in that exercise so that I can complete it and carry on!

    Thanks again!

  10. Anonymous 26 says

    Hello Feed and others,

    I urgently need help from you or any other candeo member PLEASE.. Can someone please post a screen dump transcript of chapter 9 (Partner Relationships) exercise 34 (Current relationship)?

    For some reason it won’t load no matter what I try. Candeo technical support are taking forever to respond and my training is currently at a standstill!

    Your help will be much MUCH appreciated!

    Thank u in advance.. God bless.

  11. James says

    Hi everyone,

    I’m new to this site. It’s my second time to expose my addiction in public like this. I’ve started to watch porn ten years ago and always masturbating since then. I can’t stop it, I’m in prison into it. I want to join the Candeo way program but I haven’t decided it yet. Its tearing my life a part and also my family n partners life too. Im so missirable and hopeless most of the time. I need help.

    • Alex says

      Hi James,

      Candeo is a good program, designed by good people and true professionals. If you can afford to sign up, I would highly recommend it. You could get all of the things that you would get from them from free sites like mine and there is nothing wrong with that, but nobody has a full package like Candeo.

      • casey says

        What about that “www.themeadows.org”?? Anyone? I just dropped out of the one class I was taking to “change careers” if you know what I mean…

        I’m asking ’cause I don’t know if I should just up and toss my laptop out and end my internet service. My “pie in the sky” was to eventually become a teacher, and not to make excuses, but I just bought this “thorn in my side”… and when I heard of this on the “pornharms” site (which I highly recommend), I started to seek it out.

        It does seem strange that it doesn’t come right up front and center on a simple Google search……………. Alex?

        I’ve gone from AA to SA and back to the Church, but knew in my heart as soon as I even started looking for a laptop that getting the internet eventually was probably going to be problematic. Went for a year without P but still M… but back to P again.

        Also, if anyone has ever seen “yourbrainonporn”, it’s a good site. – I don’t even know how to “cut and paste” a “link”…:) but I sure can find smut by myself!

  12. Brad says

    I’m thinking of joining Candeo but I haven’t made up my mind yet. I can make it for a week without acting out but then the cravings kick in. I can’t get to sleep when I’m like this. I’ve also struggled with anxiety issues in the past but I’ve improved and gotten off my meds but worry I’ll have to get back on meds if I can’t sleep. I don’t see a way past it right now.

  13. triedit says

    I’ve been with CANDEO for about 7 months now and I find it really helps out a lot. I made excuses for over a year or two of how I coulndt afford to join etc, but I finally bit the bullet and did it, and it’s helped out a lot!!!

    I think it depends on the person and what system works for them.

  14. Anonymous says

    I began the Candeo program a month ago, and I am finding it really very helpful. In particular, the anonymous contact with a coach is proving to be very supportive. For me, making the payment was part of reaching the point where I had really decided I wanted to stop, and committing to doing so. I’d been masturbating since early childhood (I now understand probably as a self soothing behaviour to cope with emotional neglect), and looking at porn increasingly over the last 8 years or so. I havent done either since beginning the program, but as someone else said above, its one day at a time, and not everything works for everyone.

  15. FeedTheRightWolf says

    Hi Anonymous,

    I have been member of Sex Addicts Anonymous for the past 2 years, and I highly recommend this program to anybody.

    That being said, I believe SAA is not really great for people for whom addiction is very active. Let me explain.

    From my experience there are 2 stages to porn addiction: 1. Strong Habit or Physical Dependance and 2. Relapse Prevention.

    It takes about 30-90 days to get through the 1st stage of recovery, and people remain at second stage for the rest of their lives.

    12 Step programs are great with helping people on 2nd stage, but I think they are a bit lacking in terms of helping people on 1st stage, because in my experience it takes an extra amount of effort and knowledge to break out of that stage… That is why I created this site, and that is also why I recommend Candeo Can to those who can afford it. Then I recommend to follow up with 12 step membership.

    To paraphrase it a little bit differently, there are 3 aspect to recovery – Mind, Body, and Spirit. 12 steps deal with Spirit, while Candeo Can deal with mind. I believe all 3 aspects are crucial.

    If you can't afford Candeo, you can get majority of the information from site like this one and your local library, but you will have to invest much more time and do your own research.

    I hope this helps.

  16. Anonymous says

    Hi FeedTheRightWolf,

    Have you ever attended any SAA 12 Step programs? If so, how does the Candeo program compare/compliment this? Is it just as worthwhile to work through the green book for SAA?

  17. FeedTheRightWolf says

    At last Anonymous,

    I appreciate you stopping by here and giving your opinion. That being said, I am a little troubled about Candeo Can being called a big scam. What was so scamy about it? They have a collection of great materials and exercises presented in easy to follow format and they provide you access to it for a low monthly fee.

    All of the information that you get in an university can be found for free at your local library, but you don't call the university a one big scam do you?

    What is wrong with making money out of such a serious issue? Pornographers are making million and living in huge mansions, but when some honest people try to make a living providing help, you get angry and call it a scam.

    I believe they now charge $47 per month with no monthly commitment. And I’ve seen people complain about its being too expensive. What people don’t realize is that you really do get what you pay for. One visit with any decent psychologist would cost you at least $70 in United States. For a little more than half of that, Candeo provides a full access to professionally recorded video courses created by two Ph. D’s – experts in dealing with pornography addiction.

    Did you ever took the time to brake down the cost associated for maintaining a professional website, having a live coach communicate with each student, and paying PhD.'s to record content and write articles for this site?

    Honestly, I don’t even know how Candeo people are able to make the profit. Lets say the mentor earns 15$ per hour, a very modest income in United States, and lets say this person emails a student 4 times a month for 30 minutes each. That alone will add up to $30 per month. And then they have to pay bills for storing their website, their office, and salaries for all the people who support the company. If you add all of that up, $47 per month would not seem this much anymore.

    So I would really appreciate a more detail argument about why Candeo Can is a scam.

    Thanks

  18. Anonymous says

    I was a member and i can say it is a big scam,all the information on their program is available for free elsewhere. You are simply paying for no reason and i'm a little sickened that they look to make money out of such a serious issue. My advice is to not bother with this site.

  19. FeedTheRightWolf says

    You will, just please don't try to do it alone. You need help from others if you want to get better.

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