Candeo Can – Overcoming Pornography Addiction – Summary and Review


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If you want to skip the summary, go straight to the reviews at the comment area.

Candeo Can online program has completely revolutionized my personal recovery. I have learned more from this program in two months than I did in over a year of one-on-one counseling. I am now a year and a half free from compulsive masturbation, and 6 months free from purposely looking at any form of pornographic material.

Let me give you a brief overview of how Candeo Can training course is organized, and then later provide a detailed summary of all the material included in the course.

Course Review

Candeo Can has two main modules that you work from: your dashboard and the training room. You can seen a snapshot of the interface on the image below. (Click on the image to see it in high resolution.)

The dashboard is where you first land on the site. From there, you can:

  1. Communicate with your coach
  2. Update your support partners.
  3. Write your journal
  4. Review your personal motives for breaking the habit
  5. Access your emergency lifelines
  6. Enter the training room.

The training room is where you spend most of your time.

The Training Room

Candeo Can consists of 10 levels, each one taking approximately 1-2 hours to complete. Each level has exercises that you must complete in order to proceed forward, as well as homework assignments that must be done over a defined period of time ranging from 1 day to 1 week.

The best part about Candeo Can is that you receive the most updated information from three of the leading experts in the field of pornography addiction: Dr. Randall F. Hyde, Bernell L. Christensen, Ph.D., and Mark B. Kastleman.

In addition, all information is presented as video lectures, which makes learning fun and an efficient process.

Below is the summary of the material covered in the Candeo Can program.

The summary serves as a good preview for interested people as well as a good review for those who already completed the program.

Large portion of the summary is taken from lesson summaries provided at the end of each level, but I have added my own comments wherever I felt it was necessary.

If you have a question about the program or any of the techniques covered below, please post it in the comment area below.

Summary of the Included Material

Week 1: Your Brain and Addiction

  • How your brain forms habits and addictions.
  • The M.A.P. (Motive Awareness Practice) process to change any habit and break out of addiction.
  • How a powerful motive (WHY?) is the fuel for changing any behavior.
  • How distorted thinking—overpredicting pleasure, forgetting the pain, minimizing consequences (i.e., it is not that bad), complacency after a period of abstinence—gets in the way of positive change.
  • How a clear picture of what will happen if you don’t change, can help you. How a vivid vision of your wonderful life free of pornography is the most powerful motive of all.
  • How the daily review of your Dream Board and Life Creed is essential to your recovery.

Week 2: Why is Pornography Addictive?

  • The typical profile of someone who gets caught up in pornography and other sexual addictions. (Intelligent, sensitive, spiritual, weakness = strength)
  • The most common falsehoods and myths about sexual addiction.
  • A clear understanding of how you developed your sexual addiction—How did I get here?
  • The differences between “healthy sexual intimacy” and sexual addiction.
  • Replacement for real intimacy (shyness, social phobia) – acts of kindness
  • Evolution stages of addiction (excitement and pleasure, self medication, replacement for real intimacy, control and release phase)
  • How the Funnel of Sexual Process operates inside a healthy marriage relationship vs. the viewing of pornography and other sexual addiction behaviors.
  • Why pornography use is a “drug addiction” and the motivations for using this drug.
  • Triggers
    • BOREDOM
    • LONELINESS
    • ANGER
    • FEAR
    • STRESS
    • FATIGUE (being tired or burned out)
  • Identify how your addiction started
  • Acts of Kindness

Week 3: What is Driving Your Addiction?

  • Fear and avoidance are at the heart of your sexual addiction.
  • The more you fear, fight and avoid sexual thoughts, the more intense and intrusive they become, quickly evolving into an obsession that dominates your mind.
  • Seeking relief from being at war with incessant, intrusive sexual thoughts, you act out your compulsion (pornography, masturbation and other sexual addiction behaviors).
  • After acting out, you feel intense guilt, shame, regret and the like, which increase your fear and avoidance of sexual thoughts, starting the cycle all over again. This is called the Obsessive Compulsive Cycle or OCD.
  • With each attempt and failure to shut out intrusive sexual thoughts, the cycle deepens until you are trapped in the OCD Cycle.
  • Avoidance, mental extremes and exaggeration are emotional, psychological and spiritual death! It is the extreme that entraps.
  • The advice to “just quit thinking about it,” “avoid it,” or “get it out of your mind” has actually deepened your addiction! This is the worst advice there is!
  • Rather than being afraid, avoiding and running from sexual temptation—face it and deal with it reasonably, realistically and normally. You will have to “think” your way out of your addiction.
  • Just like other “drugs,” as you stop using pornography and engaging in other sexual addiction behaviors, you may experience withdrawal symptoms. Don’t worry. Once your nervous system calms down, you will find that normal life is exciting and stimulating again—you will be “high on life” again.

Week 4: How to Break Free

  • Running from your fears only intensifies them—you must face your fears to overcome them.
  • To break out of your OCD Cycle, use “Face-it (Recognize you are entering the cycle through addictive behavior), Replace-it (Acknowledge the true meaning of what is happening and what you really want to do in your life), Connect (Talk to a live person to bring you back to reality).”
  • Consistently use Scheduled and Real-Life Practice to rebuild your brain and create new healthy circuitry.
  • Record your Temptations and Statements of Truth in your own voice and then listen to them every chance you have.
  • Adding “Connect” as a third step to your Real-Life Practice will greatly accelerate your journey to freedom from addiction.

Week 5: Re-Create Your Healthy Brain

  • Every time you practice, you are following the Success M.A.P. that changes any behavior, habit or addiction.
  • Your recovery success depends on your ability to “raise your level of awareness”.
  • Brain cravings for stimulation can only be sustained for so long; you just have to seek relief at a certain point.
  • Set reminders
  • Practicing works because it follows the “ABCD Model” and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. (A – activating event, stimulus; B – believe, how should I respond, habit; C – Consequence, result of your beliefs = feelings and emotions. B is what happens between A and C, it determines your quality of life. D – Debate, logical, truthful debate with yourself to form a new belief, which will begin to bring positive consequences)
  • PRACTICE
  • Veto power over automatic processes (Debate). You have mastered many skills over your lifetime, and you will master your recovery skills.
  • Use it or lose it, your old brain circuitry atrophy (but it will always be there, and can re-grow back)
  • Once an addict, always an addict is a lie!
  • Consistent simple choices will set you free.
  • You can only break free by creating a new brain, not using your old one. Do it through practice.

Week 6: Be Ready Next Time Craving Hits

  • If you are overwhelmed by “the wave,” you need to take emergency action immediately!
  • It can be easy to forget the pain and consequences of your addiction and keep taking the “limbic leap”.
  • To “reconnect” your frontal lobes where logic and reason reside, “play the movie to the bitter end.”
  • Mental error, imagining how exciting it would be to do …
  • A highly effective Emergency Lifeline is “My letter to myself.” You can use this to keep yourself from going into the funnel.
  • Use powerful Lifeline Symbols to override the pleasure center of your brain and connect to the people and things that really matter to you.
  • Identify and invite two Emergency Lifeline People to be available when you are in a crisis.
  • Practice calling these individuals each week so you will be prepared when the “real thing” happens.
  • When you find yourself overwhelmed by the urge to act out your addiction, follow the 4 Steps for Emergency Action!
    1. Get your body moving.
    2. Gratitude Breath (Breathe and think about things in life that you are thankful for)
    3. Call your emergency lifeline person and review your lifeline symbols.
    4. Go connect to real people, move out of isolation.
  • If you have a slip, don’t waste one minute on shame and self-flogging. Assess, make adjustments and immediately begin moving forward again.
  • You are not perfect. Learning evolves in steps. Work, practice commitment and persistence.
  • Be a battle strategist: learn, adjust and move on.

Week 7: Healthy Sexuality in Your Life

  • If you interpret women as “erotic,” it’s because you’ve made them that way through repetitive thinking. You can make them different by altering your thoughts.
  • Knowing the “whole truth” about the women of pornography forever changes your perception of it.
  • You can be a great “brother” to all girls and women.
  • Sexual arousal is “creative power” manifesting itself in you. You can direct it for tremendous good!
  • Making love or having sex should be re-labeled to “Expressing Full Commitment,” which is only possible in committed relationship.
  • You can move sexuality to a much higher level.

Week 8: Developing Healthy Relationships

  • We all crave intimacy—we need to love and be loved—we need deep connection.
  • People often use sexual addiction to fill the “intimacy void”.
  • Trying to fill the need for human intimacy with pornography is like trying to continually fill a bucket with holes in it.
  • You’ve got to be your own “best friend” and stop self-betrayal.
  • Love yourself unconditionally first, and watch your capacity to love others blossom!
  • You must become very aware of your “self-talk”.
  • You can connect with others in simple ways that make all the difference to you and them.
  • You can start to heal damaged relationships just by directing your thoughts about others.

Week 9: Get Addicted to Healthy Life!

  • Simple Addiction is about stimulating the brain’s pleasure centers.
  • Dopamine and Endorphins can be used in healthy and destructive ways.
  • Taking the Limbic Leap into the Funnel disconnects the Frontal Lobes of the brain and puts the Limbic System in control—pleasure over logic and reason.
  • The brain quickly habituates and needs greater stimulation to achieve the same level of pleasure.
  • Certain situations or emotions can trigger your sexual addiction behaviors.
  • The key is to recognize your triggers early, before you are in a crisis.

Week 10: Back to the Basics

  • Internet pornography and other sexual addiction behaviors are powerful eroto-toxins. Your brain needs time to “re-sensitize” to the simple pleasures of life.
  • Healthy pleasure outlets should be an essential and regular part of your daily life.
  • Recognize the “early signs” that you’re BLASTed (Bored, Burned Out, Lonely, Anxious, Afraid, Angry, Stressed, Tired) and implement healthy outlets.

Once again, thank you for reading and I hope this information was helpful. To learn more about the program and to join thousands of others who, like myself, have found new freedom from pornography and sex addiction.

Please visit a free mini course at CandeoCan.com .



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Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Mindful Habit Course by Coach Craig
    Great advice from a great person.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    ive been watching porn 40 years and im no nearer stopping the addiction than i ever was. my latest venture is Candeo but there is an awful to it. Im 62 now and maybe im never gonna get freedom

  2. Anonymous says

    If Candeo can't offer a phone number or email address for correspondence that is pretty sad.

    I wish The Meadows had an affordable online program. They are recognized at least nationally if not internationally. http://www.themeadows.org

  3. FeedTheRightWolf says

    I am sorry to hear that you had bad experience with Candeo. Back when I've used their services, they didn't even offer monthly payment, I had to pay full $300 upfront. Then they switched to 6 months commitment with $47 per month.

    Their reasoning was that a commitment of at least 6 months was needed in order to make some real progress in this addiction. The unfortunate consequence of this, however, that people who did not like the program were stuck making payments for it.

    They just recently switched to pay as you go approach, probably influenced by situations like yours.

    Now everybody can try out Candeo Can without having to make a long commitment.

  4. Anonymous says

    I tried Candeo but after few months saw that it was a big scam and cancelled but they kept charging my charge card saying I had to pay for 6 months at $47 a month. They will not answer a phone call, they don't have one posted, I had to find their phone number through Bank of America where they were charging me. In addition they don't have an email posted to contact them. This company is a total scam, buyer beware! Finally through Bank of America Fraud Department I got it cancelled. I have since filed a complaint with the Salt Lake City Better Business Bureau.

    • Paul says

      Well your opinion is unfounded, since you haven’t tried it !
      I have tried it, and I can tell you a serious student gets his results. I’d say you’re the big scam, because you do not base your opinion on anything tangible !

  5. Anonymous says

    I am reading the articles here. I find it interesting. Thanks for putting up this site. I would also like to suggest http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com I am currently taking that course. It is free and they pair you with a mentor to help you through email correspondence.

    I hate what porn has done to this world, but there can be victory.

  6. Anonymous says

    This is a real one! God damn! Anyone addicted to Porn must take immediate action, or else life will be at despair, and life will be lost.
    I have been addicted to this mother**** for the past 10 years from my 14th birthday.
    I feel bad for losing my teenage bcoz of this sucker!!!!
    Now, Im out of it, and will never go back to it.

  7. mr Jones says

    I've used Candeo and I would recommend to anyone that is struggling with this horrible addiction……

    Think of it this way, if you were having private music lessons and you didn't have to pay the teacher, you would not take it as serious as you would having to pay $50 every lesson.

    Also, it helps you develop a commitment, its one more statement, that means that if you are really serious about freeing yourself, you're willing to give it a try and that is the first step.

    Don't think about money, think about your happiness! It's not about paying cash and loosing $$$….. It's about gaining FREEDOM!!!
    It's worth it, you deserve it!

    Whatever it is, if you decide to sing up for Candeo or not, doesn't matter but don't struggle alone, seek help cause your NOT alone!

  8. FeedTheRightWolf says

    I believe that Candeo Can is a great program, and if you are going to pay any money for your recovery I would recommend trying out Candeo Can first.

    That being said, its really is most about what you put into it. There is no magic technique, just practice. Learning the new healthy habits.

    For those who cannot afford Candeo Can, I believe that you still can find a solution to your problems through other free resource recommended on this site. It would just mean that you might have to do a little bit more of reading on your own, and that materials will not be as well presented.

  9. Anonymous says

    Hello, I have taken Candeo's mini course and it was very helpful. But it frustrates me to know that they have a full on program which requires you to pay them money. I can't really pay so that means I can not fully reap the benefits or worse can not fully recover. I wish there was a way I could get into the program.

  10. JR says

    @Anonymous…

    I think you'll find man that some things help for some people and other things for other people. I also know that we get out of things only what we put into them. It's similar to taking a class in school or learning to play a musical instrument, if you don't put in the time and practice, you don't learn.

    And not knowing fully your situation, I would just have to say that it's so helpful to try what works and sometimes be using multiple things at once. I've used Candeo, but not exclusively. It's given me some powerful tools and understanding that I found invaluable, but I also see a counselor at times and go to 12 step groups.

    Bottom line, ya gotta be honest with yourself and others and serious about recovery if it's gonna work.

    Keep looking man! If ya do, that's what feeding the right wolf is all about. You'll learn how and become stronger.

    • Paul says

      Well A. Nonymous, maybe you tried it, maybe you did not. Maybe you paid, but maybe you did not follow the course. If it did not work, did you ask for a refund instead of complaining like this ?

  11. FeedTheRightWolf says

    @Ben,

    Thank you for your question.

    Candeo Can was not the only program that helped me to achieve sobriety but it was one of the most important elements.

    Out of all books that I've read and programs that I participated in, Candeo Can was the most informative.

    As an alternative you might want to check out Recovery Nation, but I personally liked the way Candeo Can worked, and I would recommend it, if you can afford the payment.

  12. Ben says

    @FeedTheRightWolf: You have explained the Candeo program beautifully and I appreciate that. I am VERY seriously thinking of getting into this program, and hence I am looking around the net for reviews on it.

    Could I please ask you though – has this program actually helped you stop porn/masturbating for extended time periods at least? I think what was not made clear in this post, and I think it would be quite beneficial was – if you could kindly mention some of the positive effects and experiences this program has had for you.
    Thanks,
    Ben

  13. FeedTheRightWolf says

    @Anonymous. How long does it take to recover is a very tough question and depends completely on how you define recovery. I shared some of my thoughts on this subject in this post.

    I think there will never be true recovery in the sense that I will ever be safe from the dangers that this addiction brings. Desire for sex is hardwired into my brain, and I am always only one day away from miss-using it.

    That being said I think it is very possible for me to go through the rest of my life without ever action out again. But it always comes down to making the right choices each single day.

    This is a hard pill to swallow but I think that it is the reality of this addiction.

  14. Anonymous says

    First of all, I want to say thank you for writing this up. Second of all, I recommend Candeo's free mini-course to anyone who is curious about it. I haven't plunked down the $$$ for the full course so I can't speak to that.

    To me, the biggest "aha" moment I had from this, or really from anything on this subject, came from this concept: "The advice to 'Just stop thinking about it' 'avoid it,' or 'get it out of your mind has actually deepened your addiction! This is the worse advice there is!"

    At first I was like…. whaaa!? That doesn't make sense. If I'm trying to "not do" something, doesn't it logically follow that those are exactly the right thoughts to be thinking, not the worst ones?

    In short, I didn't understand it at first at all. And when I realized I didn't understand it, I got excited! Because I realized that meant I was about to learn something.

    And I did. I realized that "just avoid it, get it out of your mind" and "okay I give in" were not really "opposites" so much as just flip sides of the same coin.

    I mean, when I write it out that way and read it now, it seems kind of cliche. But to me it was like, "aha! I caught you." I observed it happening on my consciousness. Those thoughts of "just avoid it" I had thought were on the "good side" but actually they were on the "bad side." But even that wasn't true either; it was "good intentions" with a bad effect. And the ulitmate lesson was that one shouldn't be at war with oneself in the first place. The key is to understand those urges, and understand the mechanisms why they translate into addictive behavior. But, don't "go to war with them." Think "aikido," not "kung fu."

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