In his book The Drug of the New Millennium, the Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use, Mark B. Kastleman (founder of Candeo Can program) provides a very detailed description of the process that takes place inside a pornography viewer’s brain.
In order to understand these processes, the author first examines how the brain is designed to work in a healthy sexual relationship. Then he compares it to brain activity during the pornography viewing session.
He describes both processes as “going down the funnel”. The top of the funnel represents our normal state of mind, where we are completely present and aware of what is going on around us. As we begin to engage in a sexual activity, our attention span begins to narrow down, until the sexual climax is reached. After that, we begin to slowly return to our normal, wider view of the world.
The author also provides a detailed description of internal chemicals that are being released during this process. The following excerpts from The Drug of the New Millennium explain this process.
The Narrowing Process of the Healthy Marriage
In a healthy marital relationship, sexual intimacy creates powerful physical, emotional, and chemical changes:
A Narrowing Process: At the top of the funnel, the married couple enjoys a wide perspective of the world and the people around them. Then, as they become physically intimate, their brains begin to narrow in focus. Climax is the most narrowly and powerfully focused singular event that the brain can engage in. To make this happen, the brain must narrowly focus its attention and block out all distractions (work, the children, paying bills, etc.)
The Release of Natural Chemicals: To aid this narrowing process, the brain begins releasing a flood of endogenous (meaning produced from within) chemicals. These natural chemicals include the following:
Dopamine: Elevated levels of dopamine in the brain produce extremely focused attention. This chemical causes each spouse to focus intensely on the other at the exclusion of everything else around them. A release of dopamine is associated with craving and dependency in addiction, which may be why it can help produce a healthy attraction and dependency between the spouses.
Norepinephrine: This chemical generates exhilaration and increased energy by giving the body a shot of natural adrenaline. Norepinephrine has also been linked to raising memory capacity. Whatever stimulus is being experienced in the presence of this chemical is “seared” in the brain. This helps explain how a couple in love can remember the smallest details of their beloved’s features.
Testosterone: Testosterone is known as the hormone of sexual desire in both men and women. For men, however, it is the key hormone of desire, triggering feelings of positive energy and well-being.
Oxytocin: The flood of oxytocin at climax acts as a natural tranquilizer, lowering blood pressure, blunting sensitivity to pain and stress, and inducing sleep.
Serotonin: This natural chemical is released right after climax, bringing on a deep feeling of calmness, satisfaction and release from stress. Anti-depressant drugs like Prozac are designed to increase levels of serotonin.
The Experience is More Than Just Physical: As husband and wife move down the funnel together, there is more to the experience than just chemicals released in the physical body… the mind, heart and spirit are all joined together…
A Climax of Many Things: The final crescendo is a culmination of all the things husband and wife have shared – doing the dishes, paying the bills, raising the children, all that make up a marriage.
A pornography viewer goes through a similar process as couples in a marriage but the involved chemicals produce a completely different result.
The Narrowing Process of Internet Porn
When an individual enters the funnel through pornography viewing, the physical and chemical processes are virtually identical to those in marital sexual intimacy, but with some radical differences…
A Narrowing Process: At the top of the funnel, before beginning to view pornography, the individual enjoys a wide perspective of the world. Pornography addicts describe the top of the funnel as reality: their public self. Just as in the marriage funnel, the porn viewer begins blocking out distractions – but he is blocking out much more. He is alone. The object of his narrowing is pornographic images. Details of daily life, such as work and paying bills, slowly fall into disarray as the person starts blocking out all thoughts of God, his marriage, family, morals, commitments, and consequences…
The Release of Natural Chemicals: The porn viewer’s brain begins releasing endogenous chemicals. The viewer feels highly aroused – all of the stress, pressures, anxieties and pain in life begin fading away as his system is flooded with endogenous drugs. The viewer is able to self-medicate and escape the reality of life.
Dopamine: Elevated levels of dopamine in the brain produce extremely focused attention. This causes the viewer to focus intensely on the pornographic images at the exclusion of everything else around him.
Norepinephrine: This chemical induces feelings of exhilaration and increased energy by giving the body a shot of natural adrenaline. Norepinephrine also increases memory capacity. This explains why porn addicts can recall viewed images with vivid clarity years later.
Testosterone: Pornography triggers the release of testosterone which in turn increases the desire for more pornography.
Oxytocin: Oxytocyn acts as a natural tranquilizer. The individual seeks an Oxytocin rush to cope with the stress and pressure of life.
Serotonin: The release of this natural chemical evokes a deep feeling of calmness. Individuals turn to porn to self-medicate and escape the stress.
The Experience is More Than Just Sexual: There is a lot more going on in the Pornography Funnel than sexual arousal. In fact, if you remove sexual arousal from the process, any similarities to sexual intimacy in a healthy marriage would cease. While sliding down the Pornography Funnel, a tidal wave of conflicting and confusing images and messages wash over the viewer. Visual images are stored as emotional memories in the brain before the logic center realizes what has happened. When the logic brain catches up, it brings on a “fight or flight” type response. The adrenaline gland sends out cortisol, the “stress hormone,” which in turn activates myriad body-system processes to counteract stress. In essence, the entire pornography process is intensified and supercharged, far beyond what sexual arousal alone would accomplish. The human system is not designed to deal with this overwhelming level of conflicting stimulations.This is why many neuropsychologists refer to pornography as “visual crack cocaine”.
An Empty and Hollow Climax: When one uses pornography to reach climax, the brain desensitizes to the images, habituates to them, and eventually becomes bored. An increase in the variety of images and/or time spent on the Internet is required to maintain stimulation levels. In a healthy marriage relationship, sexual intimacy is only a part of everything else going on in the couple’s life. So when the couple “brings all of that into the bedroom,” it is highly unlikely that the brain will habituate to the sexual process.
When Reality Returns – the Hopeless Dialogue: When the porn viewer emerges from the narrowest part of the funnel back to a wide perspective, the heartless “drug-high” of pornography and climax quickly dissipate. Suddenly his rational thinking returns and the hopeless dialogue begins: “What have I done? What was I thinking?” He wasn’t thinking; that was the problem! Once he descends into the Pornography Funnel, he gives up his ability to “think”. The overpowering flood of chemicals overrides his cognitive thought and reasoning abilities. The frontal lobes – the logic center of the brain – are virtually shut down and the limbic system, which controls the pleasure/emotional center of the brain, takes over. (Kastleman, p39-57)
I hope you now have a better understanding of why pornography can be so addictive.
In the next chapter, we are going to take a closer look at the addictive cycle.
I am really glad you have found this free course!
Relavant Keywords:chemicals released during sex, what chemicals are released during intercourse, chemical porn, what chemicals are released during sex, sex brain chemicals, chemicals released during intercourse, chemicals released during orgasm, sex chemicals, brain chemicals released during sex, brain chemicals sex
Tagged with: Biology • Brain • effects of porn on the brain • Emotion • Emotional Brain • Health • Neurobiology • porn addiction brain • porn and the brain • porn brain • porn brain damage • Sexuality • Triune brain • your brain on porn
Filed under: Brain and Addiction • Free Recovery Course • Treatment Program for Porn Addiction
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Now that we know what chemical activity is happening on our brains when we watching porn. I think what we (porn & masturbation addicts) need is a drug. A drug that can snap you out of that moment of sexual desire . Inhale the drug each time you feel like watching porn/masturbating. I believe that one of the solutions we should look into. Deadsoul200@gmail.com
This article is very useful in its description of brain chemicals. However, it doesn’t address people who plan to live the remainder of their lives single. These people might simply have issues that make them unattractive to the opposite sex; or people who lose spouses to death or other tragedies early; or people like me, who have been through one marriage, have kids, and don’t want a whole new marriage.
This article it admits that porn allows the viewer to “self-medicate and escape the reality of life.” That’s a great benefit, considering how harsh life can be. So what are people who aren’t in relationships supposed to do? Just deal with “the reality of life” with no “medication”?
To begin, let me say that I do have a porn addiction problem, and have struggled with excessive porn and masturbation use for years. So I recognize the problem and am searching for ways to deal with it.
I am also going through a divorce that absolutely must happen. It is not a result of my sex addiction; if anything, the bad relationship made dealing with the addiction harder, because life was so miserable. I’m more motivated to deal with the problem now that I’m single again.
I cannot have a relationship with the mother of my children/my ex-wife. She is abusive and impossible for me to live with. I have a good relationship with my young children. I grew up in a home where the parents “stayed together for the kids.” I was miserable. I feared growing up and being as miserable as my parents obviously were. I will not put my children or myself through that.
I also don’t want to get married again. I don’t want to take responsibility for someone else’s kids, and I don’t want to ask someone to take responsibility for my kids when I won’t have kids with them. On a more immediate level, I’m not interested in going through the complex process of building another relationship with a woman, to the point of getting married. Most of my “family” and “love” energies are focused on raising my kids.
Yet I’m a healthy male with a fierce sex drive. My body churns out sperm and semen on a daily basis, and waits, patiently, for me to do something about it. If I go for a week without masturbating, I get very edgy, and start waking up from intense sexual dreams.
Basically, I’m a sexual being that sees no further purpose in having sex for procreation. Yet, just as if I was married, the sexual experience provides much-needed relief from the mental stresses and trials of life.
What does someone like me do? From what I can tell, my basic options from this site’s perspective (unstated, but implied) are chemical castration, surgical castration, a vow of celibacy, or force myself to enter into a committed permanent relationship with a woman just so I can get laid (since there’s no other reason for me to get married).
Is that it? Is that what the single porn addict has to look forward to from this site’s perspective?
Well, I am guessing you are asking my opinion since I am the one who wrote this article…
What I suggest to everybody is to find what works for you. What might work for some, might not work for others.
For single people, I encourage to experiment with something called “healthy masturbation” masturbation within defined limits of what feels right and what not feels wrong. For example no more than 3 times a week, no more than 1 time a day, and with no exposure to visual stimulation. T
his is just a sample though, and I have no experience with it at all. So I am just basing my sample on what I’ve heard from other people. But I do think that this could work for single people.
I hope this helps.
Regards,
Alex
Am I the only female reading this? Like a couple people before me, I am not religious, but masturbation is causing problems in my relationship. I have quit watching porn for the most part, but I use my vibrator on a daily basis. It’s frustrating for me because I have trouble climaxing with people. Perhaps I have intimacy issues. I have trouble clearing my mind and worry about everything while trying to climax with a person. I worry about if I’m making funny faces, if I showered recently enough, if he’s getting tired and annoyed at me for not getting off, etc etc. But when I’m alone, I worry about none of those things. I think part of not climaxing with him has to do with becoming physically desensitized by the vibrator. Obviously a man’s tongue can only do so much. But if I stop using the vibrator, I simply can’t get off and it is incredibly frustrating. I must admit, it is an empty feeling climaxing without him though. I wish I could break the cycle, but it’s so frustrating! I even find myself thinking about pornographic things while he goes down on me because I need more stimulation.
Can you send the articles to my email please ? Thank you
I have been addicted to porn for over 20 years, wish I
Would have never let into my life but here I am.
I would sit and watch porn for hours without
Noticing the time the time that I was spending
Doing it, taking valuable time away from my
Beautiful wife and daughter. I was reading about
How it escalates to where the fantasy isn’t
Enough, I recently sought out a woman online
And my wife found the emails forcing me to come to
Realization that I had a problem. Now, I have to
Deal with this addiction while trying the damage
I have done to my marriage. I would like to apologize
To my wife whom I love with all my heart, my daughter and to
The Heavenly Father for taking for granted the
Gift he has given me in a wife and daughter. I make it my mission
To learn as much as I can about pornagraphy addiction
And learning to never view it online or anywhere else. Thanks
For the site and info, and thanks for listening to my story
I see even more clearer now that everytime i gain information about myself its more liberating. Moving further away from what i now consider damaging labels or labels that can become damaging. Freeing myself or liberating myself as Socrates once said nto thy own self be true,knowledge is power and there for self knowledge must be powerful beyond measure.All Selfs are Awesome Entities!
Wow, this is VERY GOOD material. Thank you. You know a good deal about this and this kind of analysis will help many.
I find it annoying that every single resource on masturbation addiction treats us as hardcore christians who want a sin free life. No, my reason to quit porn is because im desensitised and I have to get to extremes to get aroused. I want to quit porn so I can go back to fucking heaps of unmarried people.
Then find an Atheist or secular group that has the mission. The reason everything you find is a Christian prospective is because they are the pioneers in remaining sexually pure. I hope you find the peace you are looking for. But don’t count the Lord out.
I don’t like your answer, Jon. Bernie, don’t mind this guy, he’s being very narrow minded. If religion isn’t your thing, leave that part out of your recovery and continue on the path to a healthy sex life. They are not “pioneers in remaining sexually pure”, they just make you ashamed of the sexual feelings you have. What you need is the same support every porn addict needs, regardless of religious affiliations. I myself am trying to get back my sex life, as excessive masterbation and porn have desensitized me, too.
We are all going to have to face God in the end…what are you going to tell him then?? I dont believe in you?? I hope and pray for ALL of us needing help with this issue!!!
I’m going to ask him why he let a child die every thirty seconds on our planet because of starvation, and tell him my sins come no where close to being to horrible. If I’m going to he’ll then your god certainly deserves a place there too.
As far as porn addiction goes, I don’t really understand how you get addicted to wanting to look at porn all the time or thinking about it all the time.
Does God force people to go out and get pregnant and then have abortions because they don,t want the responsibility now of taking care of a child. Starvation is a result of bad Government policy. Most if not all of the countrys who struggle with feeding their people are either Communist or 3rd world countrys with corrupt Governments. No one starves to death on the North American Continent unless they choose to do so or are forced to do so. make no mistake my friend “every knee shall bow and avery tounge shall confess that Jesus is Lord.” That includes you.
I have go through the same thing or rather let me say “I’m going through the safe thing”. What you are saying is so true and it makes me realise that porn is a huge destruction to happy lives, mine included; it makes me distant from God and that kills me. Thank you for sharing you exprience. To day is my first day to stand up and first this cancer(porn) that has consumed me.
Now it has lead me to this!…(Instead of gone I wrote go, instead of today I wrote to day and instead of fight I wrote first… May the good Lord help us all to escape this evil snare.
WOW! That makes so much sense. Thank you
A big THANX to you…This really is helpful!!
I have been “addicted” to porn for about 25 years. I’m 36 now,and have been happily married for almost 8 years. I use the “quotations” around the word addict because my personal experiences with addiction (to more than just porn) have been more of a binge style where I go way overboard and then I take time off. I abused meth, cocaine, ecstasy, and alcohol heavily for about 10 years, but never was a true addict. I would binge on injecting meth to the point of near death on a Saturday night, but come Monday I was focused on getting back to my job and reality, while other people I knew became hooked to the daily addiction of meth. Same thing with cocaine, same thing with ecstasy, same thing with alcohol. I could go days, weeks, even months without them at times and not really miss them much, but the moment I put any into my body, I became a different person and would take myself to near overdose levels. I’m actually surprised that I survived many of the binges.
Whats interesting with porn is that it wasn’t a binge issue with me for a long time, it was more of a real habit that I did almost daily, but I was living alone for a long time and thought of it as nothing more than a habit I had that was not much different than TV or video games. I could go stay with family or friends for a few days and have zero desire to get a porn fix and sometimes would not watch porn for a few days once I got back home. But once it started back up, it was pretty habitual, but it was always a quick 20-25 minute event so I still thought nothing of it.
Over the last few years, I went from it being a small part of my free time to having it consuming my free time. I had a terrific sex life with my wife for the first 2 years of our marriage and she fulfilled all of my desires. But after 2 years, she began having issues with endometriosis and ovarian cysts which caused her pain and made having sex very difficult until it became almost impossible. While I was always there for her and did everything I could to help her get the right treatment, I felt sexually lost and sadly, I turned to porn. She did not mind me watching porn because she felt bad that she could not do anything to satisfy me due to her medical issues and her sex drive dropping to zero.
The real problem for me came with high speed internet and the explosion of porn variety available. I found myself going from the old 20-25 minute masturbation sessions to regularly going over an hour and finally reaching the point were I would masturbate 2 or more hours multiple times per day. I never told my wife it had gotten so out of hand because I was so embarrassed. She finally had a complete hysterectomy and all of her pain issues are gone, and as of 2 months ago, she was medically cleared for sexual intercourse with me. I was very excited and we did have some good sex. But very quickly, I started having problems maintaining an erection and interest. I’ve now found that I cannot keep an erection with here for more than a couple of minutes before I start feeling bored and fading, and we have had to stop having sex many times due to my inability to continue. I was having no problem getting it up for porn though. That is why I sought an answer because I finally admitted to myself that porn was a big problem in my marriage.
This website is a tremendous help and as I read it I feel less guilty about my behavior which is a huge relief. By removing the guilt, I can observe the behavior more rationally and without making myself depressed and self loathing. Before, I would get depressed about my situation and the guilt and depression would make me want to escape which would lead to me caving in and watching porn.
I really hope to learn a lot and I’m very appreciative for this site. I am a little nervous and still feeling a little ashamed to go to my wife, but with the information I’m reading I feel better about talking to her and letting her help me instead of feeling like I’m having to figure it out alone.
Ok, first thing you need to do is go have a complete lab work up done. Have them check your testosterone lvls, your cholesterol lvls, thyroid lvls, and triglyceride lvls. Any of these lvls being off can affect your ability to maintain an erection. Any of these levels can be affected by diet health and even lack of sex or to much sex.
I really hope this is what I need… I am trying to overcome this potential addiction. It may have already ruined my marriage- I have abused my wife’s trust deeply. After reading only this first chapter, it feels that it was written by me/ for me. I almost feel guilty that it somehow excuses my behavior though; that it gives me a way of absolving myself from blame. I really want to take ownership for my situation.
I seriously cried just reading this. I had no idea I was dealing with this for so long (alone foolishly). I’ve been a huge disappointment to my wife and I owe her so much more than empty promises.
Good luck mate.. That is exactly how I feel. Fucking pathetic isn’t it..? I have a wife that is an amazing human- three beautiful children.. why do i find the need to wank off to unreality..? I guess that although I do feel so weak and at fault for this, at least we are trying to make ourselves right.. take care
I started watching porn at something like age 12, it honestly scared the crap out of me but curiosity brought me back to it. I’m sure it happened in a similar fashion for most people here but sometimes you don’t know its wrong until its too late. I am 19 years old now, in college, and I have been battling it for 5 years. I can honestly say that I’ve found the demon in my life. I won’t say that someplace so tender and amazing as a persons sexuality is the place I would choose to have my demon. I will say that when I defeat this demon, there won’t be another to stand up to me. I’m sure this is the case with many people here.
I am very close to controlling my addiction, just last year I managed to go 6 months without it and I am currently taking a year off of dating and physical relationships with women to get my life under control completely. Its a healing process. That 6 months I took off were the best, most strengthening months of my life. I grew in ways I couldn’t imagine and I can’t wait to see what other growing God has in store for me.
I’m rambling, but I have to say this to every person here struggling with the same demon. This is the the battle for your life, for what your life is supposed to be, for the lives you might save, for the part of history you might become, even for that person that you someday hope to share your life with. If you don’t overcome this, the only shot you have on this planet could go to waste. That is what we are all fighting for. We want our lives to have meaning. Porn addiction is too big a burden to live with, so overcome it like you know you can. Feel the strength that comes with defeating the greatest foe in your life! If you are reading this here, then you know it is time to break free. Right now, it is time to break free. If it’s gonna be too hard to do it alone, call anyone in the world that cares about you and tell them right now. You have the resources, the strength, the will power…the only thing you don’t have is an excuse to continue living the wrong life.
I’ve struggled with this long enough to know how hard and how painful it is and how many other amazing people it can hurt. I’m saying this all to myself just as much as I am to you. Please take it seriously. If you’re here, you deserve another shot. Please, please take the chances you get to break free. Commit to making the best choice you’ve made in your entire life.
I relate to this message so much. There have been times when i thought i was done, but today i’ll make that happen. There’s no one to tell me with more authority than myself.
hello, im 21 years old. I’ve been going out with the same girl for 2 1/2 years now, and lieing to her for about 2. yesterday i broke down and confessed that from time to time i would get the urge to watch porn. i feel like im the worst person alive, this girl that i love and care about so much, how can i lie to her like this. she is against porn completely and i told her i agree and stopped watching it, but i didn’t. i hate saying that i’m addicted but clearly i am. the truth is i think everyone that watches porn is somewhat addicted. i want it gone completely, i hate the fact that owners are making millions off this and that it’s everywhere around us. i believe as men it is a natural feeling of excitement, and its like porn exploits our weakness. i know in the end it is ultimately our choice but it’s so wrong and stupid in my opinion. i will stop watching porn!! i will read the 23 chapters and i will find better ways to deal with free time or stress. it feels good to write
thank you
Hi, I’m thirteen also I started in the fourth grade and have been caught. I just started this program and hope it will help.
I think it will be very helpful for me!!!Thanks.I am already on my way to quit porn.
i found this artical really useful and informative
I’m 13 year’s old and going through my second addiction. The first was when I was 11, and I confessed to my parents. But this time I’m too scared to tell anyone and no one but me knows. It’s so much easier to tell you guys because you all have the same problem. Before this I couldn’t find any other way to fight it, and I was too lazy to try harder. But thanks to you I’ve already prevented myself once today (which is probably a first.) I read this first last night on my PSP. I would’ve left a comment then but It took to friggin long to type. As someone said above, I wasn’t born with this and I won’t die with it. Consider those words, you guys who have been with it for so long, like 15 to 20 years. This forum will encourage me to keep fighting, thank you so much Alex. When I’m old enough, maybe I’ll run for a government position and make this illegal. Thank you guys. Thank you so much.
Hi Will,
You are welcome. I would highly recommend you find courage to talk to your parents. This site was not designed for minors, and I think it will be very helpful for you to have an adult whom you can trust guide you through this process.
Try not to be too hard on yourself, while some things are completely not acceptable for adults, being a teenager is a special period of life, where most of people make mistakes. Just remember to learn from them. And make sure to talk to an adult you can trust.
Regards,
Alex
Hello, well to start I want to thank God for the existence of sites like this who lovingly try to save and restore the lives of many. Well, I admit that I have a problem, I have been involved in addiction to masturbation and pornography for 15 years, today I have 31. Let me tell you my experience: I finish my college career in 2009, I’m from South America and by the grace of God I had the chance to make an Internship program here in the U.S., often in the past 15 years I said to myself ” I will leave this vice by myself “and then fall a few days after. I discovered 4 years ago yoga and meditation helped me to curb sexual desire but returned to relapse because yoga is focused on maintaining low levels of sexual energy but does not focus on your values.
Last spring I found one day here in the U.S. alone in my study by looking at pornography and wasting my time in this beautiful country, as always I had a horrible sense of guilt and decided to do something seriously to eradicate my problem: I started to seek help online, to understand what is causing the problem and I found a solution so obvious that I had overlooked all the time: “God.” I started on the advice of a website to read 2 pages of the Bible every night and not only that but I started sleeping with the Bible next to my pillow, I’ve improved a lot, I feel more inner peace.
I respect the Bible and I do not want to masturbate next of it nor when I go to bed and neither when I wake up. I noticed the change: Before I had compulsive masturbation at least once a week and in the worst scenario up to 3 times a week, now I can keep clean for a month or more, the battle is not easy, it is every day, and each day “clean” is a small victory, I do not like to think I’ve finally won the great battle because the next day I find myself relapsing, instead, I thank God and ask him that takes me by my hand and take me with him every once I have sex thoughts to focus on something else, it works.
I put blocking adult content on my computer, called Webfilter pro, is for free and works with Google chrome. I started taking Salsa-dance classes here in America even though I am from a country where everyone knows dance, but not me. Since the last summer through dancing I started spending more interaction with women, women of flesh and blood, not fake women who sell pornography, dancing has helped me be more confident of myself and enjoy the female company at another level, I’m not a good dancer yet, but I hope to be one soon, I am still taking classes, dancing is fun.
I also started to do work-out in my studio, I said I’m 31 years and I am very thin perhaps because the masturbation spending my seed during the last years of my life, but now with my work-out exercise routine I started to see my muscles growing and make me feel more confident and attractive to women. Likewise one guy who commented on this forum, my problem is a secret, only God knows, this the first time I share my experience in “public”. I pray that someday the United Nations Council fully declare illegal the production and exhibition of any pornographic content in order to save people like us. In a few months I’m going to back to my country not only having gained experience in my professional field and having improved my English language skills but with the hope of having defeated the sex monster which resides in my mind and with the dream in my heart of find and enjoy life in the company of a cute girl who loves me and respect me. GOD BLESS.
I really hope this site helps. I feel like I’ve hit bottom, like I live each day through a haze. I have trouble interacting with people. I need control over my actions and thoughts, I need to feel like it’s possible because right now I do not. This site is giving me some hope.
Me,
I’m greafull for this I got hooked up on this sometimes July after having sex with a friend and college mate thinking they would love me only to later feel bad about my self, soon I just met a boy on the streets who showed interest in me and I gave in to his advances because of need to feel loved and appreciated, later in nov 2011 I discovered he had other relationships on the side I was frustrated and this heightened my pornographic watching tendencies to get rid of the stress , I have just started reading this article and I already feel a sense of deliverance I thank God and you guys , I continue reading it and I know I will kick this vice goodbye sooner , looking forward for the breakthrough.
Me,
I’m greafull for this I got hooked up on this sometimes July after having sex with a friend and college mate thinking they would love me on to later feel bad about my self, soon I just met a boy on the streets who showed interest in me and I gave in to his advances because of need to feel loved and appreciated, later in nov 2011 I discovered he had other relationships on the side I was frustrated and this heightened my pornographic watching tendencies to get rid of the stress , I have just started reading this article and I already feel a sense of deliverance I thank God and you guys , I continue reading it and I know I will kick this vice goodbye sooner , looking forward for the breakthrough.
I am so glad I found this site. I’ve been struggling with porn since I was 14, which is damned near 20 years now. It is such an absolute waste of time, life, relationships and money, but I haven’t been able to stop it. I hate the shame, I hate the guilt, and I hate that I can’t break free of it. This is the first time I’ve spoken about this anywhere aside from my college girlfriend who responded so badly I couldn’t bring up the courage to talk about it with anyone else. I’m not giving up yet though, and I will break this addiction. I’m not ready to post my name, and likely never will, but I’ll be “NotYet” on this forum, because I’m not giving up on myself!
hey i am 17
can u tell me the problems u faced at this age and ur thoughts at that age, they might help me for being on the right path and not commit any mistake.
mwmw i to am of 17 plz could you just give me your email id so that i can discuss our problems in detail.
I will stop this now, it is bad for me.
I luckly had not gotten far into the whole thing and I found this website. I AM QUITING TODAY!
Thank you this site is is great. Im greatful for it.
Thank you. I found this site before my addiction got that bad so luckely I can stop and understand it and reflect.
Today… Today… I have decided that I am done. I am going to allow God to break the bondage forever. Thank you for this website and this help
this article was helpful to me in many ways … I experienced this hopless dialogue many and many times … I can say that i wasted half of my life viewing porn and the other half blaming myself ! now i have gr8 hope in God to keep sorbent .. Ur comments guys were very motivating and inspirational … We have to keep together sharing our thoughts and motivating eachother … we can do it !! .. Thanks for the creator of this site
I really need this help like really. I cant handle porn anymore i dont even like doing it but i cant stop. Thanks for the help
I know exactly how you feel, this is where I started. I think you’ve come to the right place. Just keep reading the material and apply all of the steps involved. The freedom is possible.
Enjoyed the article. Viewing it from the logical side, I can see this fits the pattern exactly. And gives me understanding as to why once you begin to wander down that path, it is virtually impossible to stop yourself. I’m a husband and father of two little boys and have been telling myself for too many years “this event, or that event will by the thing that helps me quit my addiction.” This is the first time I’ve ever really seen a reason to believe that I can quit.
This is a excellent source of information. Very technical and precise. This thoroughly explains what occurs within the biological process and response of the body towards pornography. It explains very well why human beings completely lose themselves during these specific moments and experiences.
Wow i love this website, helps me so much!
thank you so much…please do pray for me and my wife….
I found this site just now, after going on a binge. I'm really tired. I've tried therapist, groups, accountability, with mixed results. On the home page, the author talks about using a multi-directional approach. I never considered what was happening from a physical angle. I understand a little better how, in my brain, I can say I don't want to do something and still do it at the same time.
I'm very thankful for "Absolution"s post encouraging the gentleman with the 15 year addiction. I'm closing in on the 30 mark. I want to lie to myself and say that this kind of life is ok. That I can manage it. That it wont affect me or the rest of my life. Only the grace of God has kept things from seriously crashing. It may not last forever. It probably wont.
I just can't give up. Can't lie and say that this is all I'll ever be. It's so hard sometimes, but I really cannot just accept this.
Thanks for this site. I will keep reading more. I will put my best efforts into destroying this life threatening addition.
I have also a problem with pornography for about 10 years. I've spend thousands of hours watching porn. So many nights staying till 3 or 4 pm in the morning watching porn, and every next day being a vegetable. I've lost so many days of my life with porn. And I also spend very much time trying to find a solution, and every solution failed. Only recently I've started to understand a little bit better what is happening. I've believed for years that you can stop porn in 1 day. This is not true, you need very much patience. For a ten years habit I need maybe months or years to lower the craving. And much effort. It makes your life a mess. I hate porn for existing. I wish all the porn to just disappear. I didn't know porn is so dangerous when I first watch it. I'm glad i have found this site. It seems to be very valuable information. I hope I can make it work for me
My son was addicted to crack. This helps me understand this porn addiction. I wondered why I couldn't just quit. Why it would just grab me and take me back down into the pit. Over and over again. The guilt man I need to quit thoughts but just keep doing it. Thanks for the beginning of the freedom. Understanding the addiction. I would look at my son and say just quit yet not reaaly understand the triggers in his mind.
To the person who wrote the comment above:
It's never too late. Your brain is not completely damaged. Even hemorrhagic strokes can be repaired.
At least you realize it's taken over your life and you're at least curious about getting help, no matter if you believe it's possible or not. You're already ahead of many, many people by admitting that you have a problem.
If you need support, please come to the forum. The link is at the top of every page of this site. My name is Absolution there, I care about you and want you to be happy.
I am a severe addict of porn for last 15 years. I lost my career because of porn. My life is in vain. I have been living always alone in a single room which compels me to watch porn. I have come to a stage that I cannot live without watching porn and masturbation. Nowadays I think of committing suicide since I come to the conclusion that I can never escape from this dangerous habit. All my precious life time has simply gone wasted in watching useless porn. But I am too late to realize this. My brain is completely damaged by this habit. I have lost all my hopes of getting rid of this habit. I tried many times and failed to abstain from porn and masturbation. I dont know why I am living with this f**king habit. Today I came across this website and I have started reading this. Hope it will be helpful to me
I was not born with this, I will not die with it.
Those words are amazing, i will remember them always.
www settingcaptivesfree com
I found help with my addiction here. It is free and they provide accountability partners/mentors that overcome their addictions too.
this is a gold mine of freedom i cant thank you enough
I am a porn addict for over 30 years. I never face my problems (including abuse, alcoholism, a wife who admits she only wants me for my money, and a lack of self-worth) but escape into alcohol or mainly porn. I'm tired. I was a promising musician and am now too old to be anything. I want to recover, face my problems, and save myself. This website is the first thing I've seen in a long time that offers me hope. Thank you.
No !!! We are all responsible for ourselves. Even though you can’t help yourself and feel the urge to escape, I beg you to force yourself away from porn and masturbation…Face your fears and problems cause it’s never too late. And fuck that bitch that wants you only for you money, you are a human being with feelings and thoughts. She’s a whore, you deserve someone that truly loves you. Keep composing and playing cause music will save your soul.
This chapter just made me want to continue, I wouldnt label myself an addict, but I do feel that it is now time for me to put that stage of my life behing me and move on,and i believe this will help, looking forward to reading on. Thanks again
Hey guys,
Thank you for your meaningful comments and for sharing helpful resources!
I think when a moral person views porn they are so conflicted, because at first they know they aren't suppose to do it but their body takes over the keyboard and mouse and before they can talk themselves out of it, they know where to go and it's there. The instinctual feeling of "this is wrong and I might get caught" is another feeling a person doesn't deal with in marriage and can send some people off the deep end so they eventually can't get the same sexual high unless they start to approach illegal and high risk behavior that is criminal.
It's like playing Russian roulette. Am I going to be the next child molester jailed by the feds or lose my job for sexual harassment or in jail for rape on and on. Some people say it should be legal because not everyone rapes someone etc. just like not everyone that has a gun goes and kills someone, but the truth is with this behavior, the risk is too great. One rape one molestation etc. is TOO much! So like illegal drugs if porn has been called the visual crack cocaine addiction, hopefully it can be illegalized. (Made illegal, or very hard to get a hold of).
This is soo dead on! Just reading this gives me enough understanding to see why it is hurtful to myself and enought to quit. I anticipate what the next episodes bring.
This is great. I have been an addict since discovering a porn mag in a ditch aged 12 and then buying or stealing magazines all through my adolescence.
I then married a woman who was, frankly, mentally ill and we divorced recently. I don't think our split was directly related to my addiction, but our problems were definitely made worse by my escape into it – above all my time-wasting, my sense of deep shame, lack of self esteem and loss of control.
I have now remarried and am worried that my porn addiction is impacting on our sex life. In order to get turned on I am having to visualise porn situations, and that's getting me very worried, as I really love my wife.
I am self-employed, working from home, and find myself looking at porn during the day. So I am LOSING money because of this. The penny finally dropped when I was on a business trip in a beautiful city. I had an afternoon with no meetings and I said to myself: I'll go for a short walk in the sunshine to take in the sites, then go back to my hotel room and finish up some urgent work. Of course, I did neither. I stayed in my hotel room looking at porn for THREE hours. I felt so ashamed at my loss of control.
I have no real hobbies to speak of and claim to be always busy. MAINLY BECAUSE OF PORN.
So I'll be following your steps as closely as I can. Great stuff. Well done.
By the way, this film gives a good idea of why porn is really, really bad news, whatever your religious or moral beliefs. I'll be showing it soon to my 14 year old son. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALeRKvxrJjs&feature=related
This guy also explains some of the underlying causes, although I haven't downloaded his paying stuff. Porn is the symptom and not the root cause of our problems. We are, as you say, feeding the wrong wolf.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-QNmx3SMOU&NR=1&feature=fvwp
Hi I think this site is great! The thing about how the brain works is a revelation, it's so helpful to have a scientific explanantion as to what is going on. It makes sense now.
its a little confusing….cant understand good english
Thank you very much to everybody for your kind words. I believe it is due to remind everybody that most of the credit for this post goes to Mark Kastleman the founder of Candeo Can program.
I decided this evening that I have to do something about my problem which is now getting totally out of hand. The rest of my life is suffering and I feel completely alone in this. No-one knows about my secret. I found this site and it couldn't come at a more perfect time for me. I've started and will take it one day at a time. Thank you.
Thanks I have only read the first couple of pages and it is helping to understand what is going on. Porn is really ruining my health, marriage, friendships, and life. But maybe I can piece it back together now before it is too late! Thank you!
THANKS I WAS IN SEARCH OF REMEDIES FOR THE ADDICTION MY HUSBAND IS SUFFERING. I DO'T WANT TO BRAKE UP WITH HIM AS WE HAVE THREE KIDS BUT I AM MUCH UPSET BCZ OF IT.
My husband is addicted and I have turned to porn now as well because his sexual desire for me has diminished. I am hoping we can both benefit from these articles. Thank you!
This is the story of my life. I have been addicted to porn for 6 years.. I am hoping to break the habit before it gets more serious
Thank you so much. I hope your site will bring a healthy relationship with the internet as opposed to the self destructive one, which has contributed to ruining my life.
I can identify with all of these stages. I've referred to this myself as "self medicating", 'cause it helps my fall asleep and at that point, if not sooner, reality seems far away.
thanks for post.. i am suffering from porn addiction from past 10 years.. Hoping to recover after reading these posts.. thanks again
Great first post, I'll keep going through them day by day, great job putting all of this together! Thanks