You can spend thousands of dollars on the most expensive recovery course, but it will do you no good unless you take action.
Below is my old sexual recovery plan that I wrote almost 3 years ago. I got this idea from a book called Cybersex Exposed.
Sexual Recovery Plan
Column 1 – Problematic Actions
· Watching Pornography
Column 2 – Warning Signs That Sobriety Is in Jeopardy
· Going on the computer when nobody is around
· Engaging in any kind of activities on the Internet that are not work related
· Scanning the TV channels hoping to find something exciting or distracting
· Not resolving fights with other people
· Lying to myself or others, keeping secrets
· Working more than forty-five hours a week
· Not getting enough sleep or exercise
· Skipping my support groups or therapy
· Feeling overwhelmed, scattered or guilty
· Intense sexual fantasies
· Excessive sexual objectification of others
· Thinking about former sex or dating partners
Column 3 – The Positive Reward of Maintaining Sobriety and Refraining from My Primary Problem Activities
· Having more times with loved once and friends – better relationships
· Returning to hobbies and creative activities that bring pleasure
· Rediscovering romance with partner
· Taking some classes toward a possible new career
· Feeling clean and good about self
· Having more time for relaxation and fun
· Going to movies and theaters
· No need to be worried about getting caught lying
· Not having to apologize for being late
· Placing greater emphasis on financial health and stability
· Improved health
I recommend that you create a similar recovery plan for yourself.
As you can see, it consists of 3 parts.
I saw a poster at a rifle range once; it said, “If you don’t have a target, you will miss every time.”
You have to define for yourself what behaviors you are trying to stop. This will provide you with a starting point from which you can judge your progress.
Warning Signs That Sobriety Is in Jeopardy
Simply look back at your past acting out experiences and try to identify the behaviors that can serve as warning signs that you are about to act out.
The Positive Reward of Maintaining Sobriety and Refraining from My Primary
This is the most important part. Why do you want to stop?
Another saying that I’ve heard is that having a strong why (reason) can overcome almost any how (condition).
I recommend that you take the next 2 days to create your personal sexual recovery plan. Don’t worry about getting it perfect, just get the ball rolling and get something in writing.
P.S. Recommended Resources:
- Sex Addicts Anonymous
I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
- Mindful Habit Course by Coach Craig
Great advice from a great person.
- Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
- Internet Accountability Software
Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
- Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
- Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
- Free Consultation from Coach Craig
Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.
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