8 Symptoms of Sexual Addiction


Below are 8 symptoms of sexual addiction. To make this article more personal, I’ll provide examples from my history and how it applied to my flavor of sex addiction. That being said, please keep an open mind and try to draw parallels with other forms of sexual behavior. Behaviors might differ for different people, ranging from online pornography to sex with prostitutes and other illegal acts. Underlying symptoms, however, remain the same.

1. Using sexual behaviors to escape stress and other problems of life

I remember when I was in college and active in my addiction. I would push myself really far to try to get the best grades I could. I would stay up long nights attempting to study for my exams. In reality, however, I would hit a point every night where I would snap and go into countless hours of pornography and masturbation.

2. Returning often to a particular sexual behavior and seeking more intense experience

Another symptom of sexual addiction is adaptation to current sexual behavior and seeking out more intense ways of sexual stimulation. In my experience such escalation happens much faster with online pornography than other forms of sexual acting out.

My pornography use began with mildly erotic videos. They, however, quickly became boring and I moved on to more violent and stimulating videos. In the worst part of my addiction I would spend many hours each day watching some of the dirtiest and sickest pornographic videos that I could get my hands on, and still all of that pornography would not be enough for me.

Once even the sickest forms of pornography has stopped to produce a desirable result for me, my mind began to wonder towards other ways of sexual acting out, such as anonymous hookups and hiring a prostitute.

3. Lying to family, co-workers, friends and others to hide your sexual activities

My addiction began to take so much time, that I was constantly running late for things such as family dinner, classes or work, forcing me to make up all kinds of lies and excuses for my behavior. I constantly felt like I was always living a double life.

4. Constant preoccupation, can’t stop thinking about sex

I remember one day my wife was getting ready to leave for work at 6am on Saturday morning. Instead of helping her get ready, or getting up to say goodbye, I pretended to be asleep. I couldn’t contain my excitement, because I knew that after she’ll leave I’ll have 8 hours of unrestricted acting out.

When I caught myself thinking that and got really scared by my feeling. Unfortunately, such feelings were very common for me. Everything else in life seemed to fade away compared to the excitement I felt when I thought about acting out.

5. Seeking out sexual activities for longer periods of time and more often than intended

I don’t know how many times in my past I have told myself that I am just going to visit an adult site for 15 minutes to take a break, only to find myself at 2am still browsing for pornography, wondering what just happend.

I also had many experiences where I would go to a strip club with some friends, and once there I would lose any sense of time and would always feel a strong pull to stay there for just “one more dance” feeling that next girl could be “the one” act that I was looking for all night.

6. Trying and failing to limit or stop a particular sexual behavior

There has been hundreds, if not thousands of times that I swore off particular behavior. For example, I would tell myself I would never watch certain kind of hardcore pornography, only to find myself visiting all of my “favorite” sites a week or two later.

7. Discomfort and irritation when trying to stop a sexual behavior

Whenever I realized that I had a real problem, and tried to stop, I found myself feeling very irritated. I’ve quit smoking before, and the feeling was very similar, but actually stronger. It felt like a very important part of my life was missing. As a result I felt very grampy and would often snap at my loved ones and other people close to me.

8. Crossing accepted boundaries or committing illegal sexual acts

Up to this point, I mostly shared stories related pornography use. Unfortunately, pornography was not my only ways of sexual acting out. I did try to control my addiction, by only acting out through pornography. I was successful at it for the most part, but sometimes I ended up cheating, having unprotected sex, and performing sexual acts in public, risking getting arrested.

Thankfully I realized that I had a problem and got into recovery. There is no question in my mind that if things went on the way they did, me getting arrested for some sort of illegal sexual behavior was just a matter of time.

Conclusion

If you find yourself identifying with many of these symptoms of sex addiction, I would highly encourage you to look honestly at yourself. It is not about putting labels on people, but rather about finding help, if help is needed.

If you would like to learn more about sex or pornography addiction make sure to check out our free recovery course.

Click Here to Start Recovery!

In any case, thank you for reading, and please let me know if you have any feedback in the comment area below.

Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continious sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get trully honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexually addiction and this trully is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excelent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiciton. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people form all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

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Comments

  1. says

    I am a 16 year old pansexual girl and I think I may have a sexual addiction.
    I have looked at the ’8 signs’ and and felt a connection to all except the last one. I am still a virgin but I masturbate multiple times a day, and I had my very first orgasm when I was about 10 or 9, when my old step-sister told me it felt good to ‘rub down there’. I watch a lot of porn for a girl my age I think, five/four out of seven days a week for hours which keep me up until very late hours of the night. I have watched things that I am ashamed of, and have promised to never watch again, but I kept going back to the same videos as I have become almost addicted to the feelings they bring out. The ONLY reason why I am still a virgin is because I was molested when I was younger and I feel like I can only entrust my body to myself. I have become more daring in my quest for satisfaction and I have masturbated with my door open, while there have been other family members in the house, and also in a few public places, but I have not been caught and I love the rush.

    I used to read a lot of teen novels to past time, some children books, but now the only books I read HAVE to have smut in them. I am constantly aroused, and become aroused easily. I have lately had this fascination with dominating or being dominated by a dominate person, and that has lead me to watch even more disturbing videos, such as beastiality. I use porn and masturbation to relax, and it has been a stress reliever for a few years. I have tried to stop masturbating a few times but I can only last two days before I snap and go on a frenzy, almost overly sensitive. It is all I think about, and I have done worst things than what I have mentioned previously, things that I can’t bare to write as it will make it seem real. I’m not sure if you can have a sexual addition at this age, if it’s just my hormones trying to figure themselves out, or I actually may have some type of sexual addiction, but I would love to hear your opinion.

    • Alex says

      I think it would be best to stay on the safe side and check in with a counselor or an adult you can trust.

      It likely is just an age thing and will pass, but a trusted adult will be able to help you to figure it out with more certainty.

      Regards,
      Alex

  2. Charles says

    I have been socially awkward since I was very little. My parents divorced due to infidelity, when I was almost 5 years old. My parents dating other people was a series of stressful experiences.

    My first “best friend” introduced me to pornography and we used to work together to acquire any porn we could get our hands on. I used to take my dads porn videos and painstakingly ensure that the video was reset to where it was after I watched it.

    My bad teeth and childhood speech problems fuel my oral fixation.

    Once, I was able to admit my addiction to my wife, but it took a large dose of liquid courage (whiskey). I am not even sure what she remembers from that night. It was very emotional.

    I masturbated before returning to this site. I feel bad that I think it is alright, since it was to nudity and not anything hardcore. This is my first time having the courage to post.

    Most of all I am tired of not living life to the fullest. I want to be stronger of mind, body, and spirit. My work ethic has never been stellar, but lately my depressing attitude has gotten in the way of my success. I am struggling with my fear of failure, since I am in my last semester of college. I should be doing homework right now.

    I do not want to be perfect. I do, however, want to be present. I feel like I have let too much of my life drift past. I have wasted so much time! For what? Some stupid chemicals and a feeling of power. I enjoy knowing what the….lets say actors and actresses….are going to do. I pick videos based on categories so that I can feel like I made a decision and it was followed. I look into my reflected eyes and think, “where is that boy who was so full of love, hope, and loyalty?”

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