First I want to share some great news with you. Candeo Can has changed their signup policy from 6 month commitment to pay as you go program. So if you’ve been considering giving this program a try I suggest doing it now before they change their minds 🙂
Second, we had some great posts on our forum. Special thanks to our constant contributors RightWolf, AA, Absolution, LucasM and many others.
There is one post, however, that I wanted to share with you today. It is unfortunate that when I created http://www.feedtherightwolf.org I used some language that has made me sound like an “expert” which I am not. (I plan to work on changing that after this semester is over. And I am always welcoming your suggestions.)
The reason that I wanted to create this site and share some of my techniques is because a.) I wanted to help myself better learn them, and b.) wanted to have this resource available to others as a supplement to all other great programs available.
ERP or anything else is not a magic bullet, and I am not an expert in anything recovery related. I am juts one person trying to do my best. One day at a time.
That is why I want to share the following post with you. I believe it really drives home what I’ve just said above.
MrResurreccion writes: http://feedtherightwolf.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=405
“One Technique is not Enough!”
It is very important to realize that Alex’s recovery course fits his lifestyle and his Pornography addiction.
Many of you found it helpful and continue to see the fruits of his recovery manifest in your own lives.
However, for me I think I will need to personalize the experience more.
Alex’s course was first of all amazing help for me. He really did break an opening into the understanding of my addiction
and in Renewing my mind. Along with the Free Candeo Podcasts (which I highly suggest you download from iTunes)
I was able to first get an understanding about how this addiction worked and how my brain can be re-molded and transformed.
However… using Alex’s version of ERP did not help me after many months of practicing it in his way.
You see for me I suffered from Pornography of the mind more than the computer. Since I was young my imagination
has always been very strong. And I never really needed to rely on Visual Pornography. Intense thoughts and imaginations
would effect me in such a way that I myself could not control the urge to masturbate 4 to 5 times a day. Even now I feel
triggered just writing about this ._.\/ The computer Pornography was never really the problem, however, it has at times fueled my way of thinking and addiction. I have dealt with Visual pornography, however, every time I break loose from it, I would just end up going back to the very destructive habit of imagining intense sexual fantasies and masturbating to those thoughts.
…which was horrible. I missed class and school because I was depressed. I couldn’t deal with my homework… because any type of alone time or boredom would immediately kick in my trigger. AND.. I had been training my subconscious mind to automatically see women and people a certain way. My relationships were affected by distance, and my mind was full of confusion and anxiety.
Unlike normal drugs, Porneia = sexual Immorality, doesn’t destroy the body as much as it destroys the mind.
Proverbs 23:7 writes that “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he…”
why do I bring this up… well because I wanted to show you that although I was wasn’t addicted to the Visual Pornography…The Pornography of my Mind acted the same way!
We all have personalized addictions. Although they affect our lives in almost the same way.
Depression. Bondage. Separation. and Distance.
Starting today I’m going to start personalizing my recovery process, and sharing some of the different methods I will be using in the next 30 days. Asides from sharing my daily progress, I will also share why some parts of Alex’s method didn’t work for me, and why others did work for me. Journaling online with many of you I hope we can share our experiences with each other and hopefully bring an end to this distasteful and addictive drug of the new millennium.
-Your’s in Christ.
P.S. Now that Candeo has a 47$ per month no commitment policy (which is highly exciting, since I can finally afford their program!)
I will also share my experiences with that! My Prayers are with all of you guys! Especially you Alex!
Keep up the great work!
Last but not least here is some 12 step wisdom for you:
“Sex or Porn addiction is like SPIRITUAL CANCER, acting out will weaken your spiritual life.”
“This is not about recovery from Sex Addiction. This is about recovery from Life.”
“12 step program is not an ultimate solution. Program works because it is a game that we play. It is a great game with a lot of rules, and if we play it well, it works for us.”
“Repression of sexuality is a flip side of same coin. I learn to love myself and my body the way it is.”
“When you find that you can’t relate to others, listen to their feelings, not details of acting out.”
“It took me 52 years to get here, so I guess I won’t be out of here in 6 months.”
“We are not weak for being here. It’s the stronger ones who come into these rooms. Because it is really scary, especially in the beginning.”
“Trust in God and his unconditional love. God will provide.”
Have a great sober day!