Married to a Sex Addict: Dealing with Your Anger

Discovering evidence of a spouse’s infidelity- whether it comes in the form of physical relations, sexting, or pornography- evokes powerful emotions.  You are probably- in varying orders- betrayed, confused, devastated, disappointed, disgusted, hurt, sad, scared, shocked, surprised, worried… and angry. Allowing Yourself to Be Angry: You have a right to your anger; you have a right to feel it and a right to express it.  Do not accept being told otherwise.  Remember that no emotion is Read more [...]

The Great Debate: The Dangers of Self-Stimulation

This is one of those things I’ve struggled with myself for years. Is masturbation harmful? Technically you would think if you can do it without lusting or fantasizing about another person, or do it without looking at porn, then you would think it wouldn’t be so harmful. However, for men especially, this is nearly impossible. In my case, I have managed this only in cases where I went several weeks  or months without pleasuring myself. If you can do that then it wouldn’t seem “sinful” as most Read more [...]

Married to a Sex Addict: Why You Need Counseling, Too

If your spouse has just admitted to sex addiction or porn addiction, he or she is hopefully seeking professional counseling or therapy as part of his or her recovery plan.  This is increasingly a normal part of efforts to recover from an addiction, and it is good that your partner is seeking professional help.  Unfortunately, it is sometimes less obvious to everyone involved that as the spouse of an addict, you have been through a lot, and you are facing more still, and you will need some help Read more [...]

Addictions as a form of self-medicating

Doesn’t matter what Anonymous program or church you’re affiliated with, I’ve noticed. In my case and from what I’ve seen in the lives of others, our individual problems are related. Life is all about relationships and when we have broken relationships we try to bury our sorrows by getting high or drunk. Then after a while we  build a tolerance and have to use more to get the same effect. Eventually we become dependent and have to go through rigorous self-examination to be set free and live a wholesome Read more [...]

Married to a Sex Addict: 8 Ways to Support Recovery

If your spouse has just come forward with a sexual addiction, he or she has a long and difficult journey ahead.  As a loving, compassionate partner, there are a few things you can do to provide support and encouragement during this process. Understand your limits.  While there are things you can do to support your spouse’s recovery, it is important to understand that ultimately, you are not responsible for his or her behavior or decisions.  Try to be a positive influence and a source of encouragement and Read more [...]

The Other Side of Addiction: A Wife’s Story

My name is Kay.  I am the wife of a recovering sex addict. Much of the advice I write in my posts here comes from experience gained the hard (and often painful) way.  There are things I wish I had figured out sooner in the process, like the fact that I needed counseling, too; there are things that I have learned actually help, like encouraging transparency; there are also things I still struggle with, like learning not to let suspicion rule my life.  In sharing these insights here on Feed Read more [...]

What is a Sex Addiction?

Well, there are a lot of addictions in this world. It is good to do something which pleases you and which surely does not have hazardous effects on your body. But, when that something is done repeatedly without a purpose and reason, then that is or maybe called as an addiction. Same is the case with sex. Are you interested in sex? Do you have sex many times which may be not considered normal in others terms? Sex may be pleasurable. But, when a person cannot control the urge to have sex above a certain Read more [...]

Thoughts on the forbidden topic, Sexaholic

Have you ever tried introducing the word or topic “Sexaholic” into any conversation with reference to any sexual topic? The looks, the jokes, and the laughter it is not so ideally respected. Of course with all these celebrities being labeled as a Sexaholic (Tiger Woods, Michael Douglas, Eric Benet, and Nicole Narin to name a few) the term is becoming a bit more welcomed. Still our society more so labels sex addiction as an excuse instead of a serious addiction or problem. Addiction is always Read more [...]

Have you been labeled?

You sit down in front of this person, only due to their title of counselor, psychologist, and or psychiatrist you feel the need to unleash. I am sitting in front of my counselor and I bring her into my world. Year after year of ups and downs, repetitive dreams and nightmares are what I start out with. Then I begin to tell her about my social and intimate life, this is where it all begins. The issues and stories of my life’s experiences are what she is trained to deal with. Sitting across Read more [...]

Helping Your Partner and Repairing Your Marriage

If you have just discovered or admitted that you have a problem with pornography or sexual addiction, you have a long and challenging recovery ahead of you.  The support of a spouse can be a tremendously helpful resource during this time, but it is important to remember that your spouse has been badly hurt by your actions (whether you intended that or not, because you probably did not) and has his or her own recovery to face as well.  He or she will need your support just as much as you need Read more [...]