You sit down in front of this person, only due to their title of counselor, psychologist, and or psychiatrist you feel the need to unleash. I am sitting in front of my counselor and I bring her into my world. Year after year of ups and downs, repetitive dreams and nightmares are what I start out with. Then I begin to tell her about my social and intimate life, this is where it all begins. The issues and stories of my life’s experiences are what she is trained to deal with.
Sitting across from this stranger whom I only met a few months ago, I begin to disclose all of the stories from my job. Her eyes open and eyebrows rise, as she readjusts her body in her chair as I tell her about my job in The City working at a Dominatrix Dungeon. As my counselor begins to jot down notes in her pad she now has full attention on my conversation. No longer is she interested in picking up her phone or looking at her clock the only thing she wants to do is listen to all the details and ask questions. I of course answer each and every question without a problem.
As weeks turn into months, the conversations and questions become more interesting as well direct. During that time we discussed my childhood reminisce that have influenced my so-called love life and all of its adventures. The break-ups and the make-ups, the one night stands, the sexual encounters with men from chat lines and online, the stories of the occurrences during all of my sexual escapades opened Pandora’s Box.
Finally, the day arrives I have been labeled and classified as a “Sexaholic”. According to my counselor, all the actions I had been taking and those I was still involved in where running my life. Sex was dictating my actions and my way of living, I had lost sight of what was considered to be healthy sexuality. I had put myself and continued to put myself in situations that were risky not only to my health but my life as well. At that moment I was given two options: take myself to a SA meeting or be mandated to go to SA (Sexaholics Anonymous).
I chose to take myself to Sexaholics Anonymous, and have not looked back since. From there my life began to change step by step. I continued to go to my regular counseling sessions, group therapy, and my SA meetings. So much has been revealed and I now understand so many of my actions, as well have been able to end most of those nightmares. It has been ten years now, there is not a day that I just want to give into my inhibitions. It has been a struggle and will always be a struggle; sex is of course normal and a human aspect of our lives.