Thanks for your help and the site. I got off the juice for 2 and 1\2 weeks. Fell off the wagon and proceeded even deeper in the juice. Porn wasn’t doing it. I had to have a little more. I opened up Pandora Box. Got into phone sex and talking to other women on the phone. Boy I had to have more and more of that stuff. Staying up late at night. Then going to work early wore out.
I did this about for about two months. Was talking to my best friend about it . He said I needed to get back into church and get my life right. I agreed and the next morning my daughter asked me to go to church with her and my wife. I went with them and God really spoke to me through the preaching of the word. Speaking directly to me and the struggles I was having. It was like he knew exactly where I was at. And spoke to me about where I was headed If I didn’t change. Not only hell but the pain and suffering of a broken family . I walked In the juice for another week and said I had to get off of it. Talked with the pastor. He said I had to tell my wife and we counseled with him for a couple of sessions. Set up some parameters to walk in.
1. TV out of my room
2. no more cable
3.No more walking around with cash in my pocket.
4.My wife checks my Bank statements every month. No 800 charges
5.No Walmart visa cards
6.Any violations reported to Pastor
7. Walk in accountability with men in small group.
1. Off the juice for 8 weeks Sunday. No porn No acting out.
2.When I think I sure need some porn or phone sex. In my head it goes I don’t have any money or access to debit card and the thought passes.
3.Or I think about the guys in the group and I don’t want to let them down.
4.Still working on my relationship with my wife, got a long way to go, 31 years is not worth throwing away.
That’s my story, thanks for your help.