Archive for December, 2011
Married to a Sex Addict: Breakdown
Thursday, December 29th, 2011 at
5:56 pm
Comments (1)
This should be the final post in the relapse series. If you want to catch up or review, the previous three posts have been:
Married to a Sex Addict: Relapse
Married to a Sex Addict: Watching the Spiral
Married to a Sex Addict: Confrontation, Denial, and Deflection
Following a successful confrontation or intervention, some addicts may go through a kind of "breakdown" phase when forced to face what they have done and the harm they have caused. Acceptance of the problem, and the realization Read more [...]
Married to a Sex Addict: Confrontation, Denial, and Deflection
Thursday, December 29th, 2011 at
5:47 am
A couple of weeks ago, I began a series of posts about my husband's recently-discovered backsliding and the insights I hoped to glean from sharing my experience, my feelings, and my observations here. The first post ("Married to a Sex Addict: Relapse") gave an overview of my current situation and explained what I hoped might useful about discussing it here. The second post ("Married to a Sex Addict: Watching the Spiral") explored what the addiction cycle and its progression often look like Read more [...]
Sex Addiction: An overview
Monday, December 26th, 2011 at
10:41 pm
Sex Addiction or sexual addiction is a condition that is characterized by an unusually increased sex drive in a person. Like any other addiction, sexual addiction needs to be addressed with appropriate interventions. If left untreated, it may prolong and exacerbate into a more severe condition. In effect, the sex addict may continue to inflict destructive behaviors not just to himself but to the people surrounding him as well.
What are the roots of sexual addiction?
The addict’s intense craving Read more [...]
Married to a Sex Addict: What is My Role?
Monday, December 26th, 2011 at
2:51 am
My husband's brother is an alcoholic. Yesterday, my father-in-law commented, "I can love him, I can listen to him when he needs to talk, I can tell him he needs professional help, but that's all I can do. I can't fix him, and there's not much more I can do to help him. The only one who can really help him now is him. Mostly all I can do is just love him." Privately, I reflected on that statement in terms of my husband's sex addiction and my role as his partner.
One of my biggest Read more [...]
Sexual Addiction: Different Types
Friday, December 23rd, 2011 at
10:40 pm
Sexual addiction has different forms. Each of this form needs to be properly intervened before the addict delves himself into a more destructive behavior. With appropriate intervention and treatment sexual addiction can be treated.
The various types of sexual addiction are:
Fetishism
Fetishism is a type of addiction in which the addict tries to escape reality by focusing on an object, rather than a person. Fetishists focus on objects to sexually stimulate themselves into a more pleasurable Read more [...]
Finding the Right Wolf
Thursday, December 22nd, 2011 at
1:35 am
Ironically, the most heartbreaking thing about my husband's addiction is also the reason I have committed to staying in this relationship and offering what support I can: He is a good man.
My husband's sex addiction has caused him to do some bad things, many of which were- and still are- very painful for me. The man who posted pictures of me on a porn site and carried on a cyber-affair with a former partner, however, is also the man who once drove two hours in the middle of the night just Read more [...]
Married to a Sex Addict: Watching the Spiral
Monday, December 19th, 2011 at
1:32 pm
I mentioned in a recent post that my husband and I are presently enduring a relapse of his sex addiction. It seems to have been going on for several months now, and I am struggling to remember that I should not feel guilty for not catching it sooner. The things I have found over the last couple of months, the things I realize in hindsight that I should have paid more attention to, and my husband’s responses to my concerns, fit the pattern I have observed during other episodes and relapses Read more [...]
Married to a Sex Addict: Relapse
Saturday, December 17th, 2011 at
9:57 pm
My husband is in the midst of what appears to be a major relapse of his sexual addiction, which appears to have been going on for several months. In fact, it now appears that he was clean only briefly, if at all, following his last major relapse just over a year ago. I am devastated.
This will be a very difficult series of posts to write, but I feel that our current situation illustrates some concepts I have wanted to discuss here for some time now. This first post will be an overview Read more [...]
Married to a Sex Addict: Setting Limits and Consequences
Wednesday, December 14th, 2011 at
10:23 pm
A great post on the forum here recently pointed out that convincing an addicted partner to clean up might require you to issue an ultimatum along the line of "it's me or the porn," but it is very important that you only say this if you mean it and are able to follow through. In my own marriage, I have told my husband at least four times that if he slips up one more time, I am leaving; just as many times, I have told him that if he lies to me one more time, I am leaving. Every time I discover Read more [...]
Married to a Sex Addict: The Enabler Trap
Wednesday, December 14th, 2011 at
9:44 pm
During my husband's last major relapse, I let him persuade me to indulge many unhealthy sexual fantasies related to his addiction, and in the process I involved myself in things that today I am deeply ashamed of and disgusted by. My self-esteem is still damaged as a result. At the time, I engaged in those things because I had convinced myself that if I gave in a little, maybe he would be content with that and not turn to porn sites, dating sites, or other women.
Sometimes it might be tempting Read more [...]
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