Guest_791 2012-12-02 13:14:55
Hello, I’m just reading this site b/c of my husband.
Guest_791 2012-12-02 13:15:33
His life was seriously messed up for many year until just recently.
Alex 2012-12-01 06:44:10
I’ve added a chat per popular demand. Hopefully people will actually use it
Alex 2012-12-01 06:43:40
Alex 2012-12-01 07:46:32
If anybody stops by, can you please post few words so I know it’s working?
Guest_670 2012-12-02 11:25:27
Guest_670 2012-12-02 11:26:00
Guest_642 2012-12-01 08:03:30
Hi Alex, the chat works. Thanks for the site!:warning:
Guest_200 2012-12-01 11:09:50
Guest_200 2012-12-01 11:10:00
anyone out there
Guest_436 2012-12-01 12:14:28
bolo 2012-12-01 12:15:00
Guest_332 2012-12-01 13:20:14
hi anybody there:)
flyingclouds 2012-12-01 13:21:22
hi any body hear me???:)
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:33:00
Guest_77 2012-12-01 16:33:09
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:33:30
Is everybody here trying to quit this thing
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:33:32
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:33:43
Yeah… I think so.
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:34:57
I broke today. Randomly did a search for hot chicks on tumblr and then 10 minutes later I had gone through… oh… 100 pics?
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:35:43
I was about 6 days of no **** in. It sucked. And now I feel “well, I broke… should I just go all out for one day? Video bonanza?”.
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:35:55
I broke on Thursday. I’d gone, about 5 days without.
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:36:24
Gotta track it, man. I find that helps. I use my iPhone. Free app called Goal Tracker (very creative naming!)
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:37:00
It has a counter type of goal. Mine reset today.
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:37:18
Should I go all out today? I don’t think that’s wise… so it’s like a mini-relapse
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:37:58
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:38:12
It’ll just put you back even further.
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:38:44
The longest I went was a year, until April, now I haven’t gone over a week without.
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:40:50
What triggered it after a year? Musta been big. You thought you’d be ok and then tried it and then just like that?
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:41:14
P.S. Congratulations re a year – mine was 3 months solid. But then I went back.
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:42:22
I broke up with my gf a few days before so, that probably set it off.
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:42:47
Yeap. That’ll do it FOR SURE.
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:43:15
What triggered you after three months?
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:43:17
High emotion = Stress = Need for stress relief
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:45:38
My gf is not very sexually open. My ex was basically a pornstar and we were together for three years. So when my gf was not giving me any and my ex was contacting me and sending me vids… I needed to stay away from her so I went to ****.
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:46:24
Vids of herself… Plus I had 30gbs of vids with my ex and I… I deleted those on February 25th, 2012. THAT was probably one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:47:08
Since then I’ve been on and off and I am in an LDR so it’s ******* difficult to stay away from girls for my gf that even when i see her I don’t get much
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:48:36
I think it’d be easier to quit if it wasn’t so anonymous and easy to get.
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:52:13
Yeap. But I can see the business model the **** industry has so successfully implemented. For every guy that is able to quit, there are literally 10,000 dudes that don’t even know they need ot
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:52:15
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:52:36
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 16:53:42
I am happy that I read that behaviour diagram, the whole, “trigger, emotional response, etc.” it actually is exactly what happens to me before.
Octygen 2012-12-01 16:57:12
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 17:00:45
The one in the guide. I thought that was the only one on the site. 8o
Octygen 2012-12-01 17:04:38
There are many
Octygen 2012-12-01 17:05:18
I think I’ll just put yourbrainonporn.com on my homepage. There’s so much there.
Octygen 2012-12-01 17:05:28
So much good stuff to try to break this.
Octygen 2012-12-01 17:06:48
Good luck, mate!
Seeeopper 2012-12-01 17:07:14
Good luck to you too.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:06:58
David4444 2012-12-01 20:07:09
Alex 2012-12-01 20:07:25
Alex 2012-12-01 20:07:29
Looks like chat is working
David4444 2012-12-01 20:07:43
I just found out about the chat today.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:08:20
I just installed it yesterday, I hope it’s a good idea. Some people were asking about it on the forum
David4444 2012-12-01 20:08:37
So far, it’s going good.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:10:28
Cool, so how are you doing today?
David4444 2012-12-01 20:10:36
138 – the number of smudges (sexual climaxes) I’ve accumulated this year so far…from January 1st through November 29th.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:10:58
As for how I’m doing…well…I’m still stuck in this same pattern.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:11:19
Yes.. Unfortunately it takes a while to get better
Alex 2012-12-01 20:11:37
At least you are here, keep coming back
Alex 2012-12-01 20:11:54
Have you tried contacting SAA or another 12 step program? I forgot
David4444 2012-12-01 20:11:57
I do try.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:12:04
No, not yet.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:12:57
It’s still better than the previous two years. In 2010, I had a total of 266 smudges. And, in 2011, the total was 237.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:13:24
I would highly recommend it, may be its a good subject for new years resolution
David4444 2012-12-01 20:13:43
My dad said I’m heading in the right direction as the number is significantly less than those years.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:14:10
*this year’s number
Alex 2012-12-01 20:14:21
It is also good that you are making progress. I don’t think that sexual abstinence is necessary, I think it is just goot for people to get their sexuality in a position where they feel comfortable with it.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:14:39
It’s is also great that you are able to talk to your father about it! Good on you (and him)
David4444 2012-12-01 20:14:48
David4444 2012-12-01 20:15:42
I realize it will never be 0 for an entire year, but I’m still trying to keep them down to a minimum.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:15:59
I’m hoping 2013 will stay under 100 smudges for the entire year.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:16:29
Why do you call sexual climax smudge?
David4444 2012-12-01 20:17:01
Simple…a smudge usually refers to something bad. This is definitely bad.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:17:54
A smudge stain on the floor or carpet is definitely something that needs to be cleaned up. Well, I want to “clean” this addiction up.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:18:11
Do you think all sexual climaxes are bad?
David4444 2012-12-01 20:18:21
To me, yes.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:18:30
Maybe not to everyone.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:18:38
How old are you and are you in a relationship?
David4444 2012-12-01 20:19:35
33 and turning 34 next March 3rd. And, no, I’m single, lonely, and depressed. Hence, these smudges are my temporary release from these feelings.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:20:35
Do you also think that sexual climax in a healthy relationship are bad?
David4444 2012-12-01 20:21:27
In a healthy relationship, the occasional smudge would not be bad.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:21:59
Well if they are not bad, than we probably shouldn’t call them smudges
David4444 2012-12-01 20:22:04
But, in my case, with no relationship and at my age, it’s definitely not normal to have so many climaxes.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:23:10
I think you would benefit a LOT from a 12 step program, any 12 step program really.. And I am saying that not because I am strong believer in the 12 step ideology, but rather because those groups create a good environment for people to learn to develop healthy relationships with other people.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:23:45
Once you learn to develop healthy no sexual relationships with other people, you will be able ( I am confident you will) be able to find a healthy sexual relationship.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:23:52
Do they cost a lot? My family’s budget is very tight.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:24:00
No they are free
David4444 2012-12-01 20:24:18
Alex 2012-12-01 20:24:22
They suggest a donation of $1-$2 per meeting, but feel free to pass, and nobody would say a word
Alex 2012-12-01 20:25:09
I know plenty of people who go and don’t give anything, and once your financial situation will improve than feel free to give a little. All of the money are just used to pay for rent of the room and other minor expenses…
Alex 2012-12-01 20:25:28
But yes, it is really good for you, and there is really no excuse for not going to one …
David4444 2012-12-01 20:25:46
I’ll have to think about it. My life is very complicated, to say the least. It’s a long story.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:25:56
Alex 2012-12-01 20:26:04
Take your time… I am just sharing what has worked fo rme
Alex 2012-12-01 20:26:36
I have a list of 12 step programs here: http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/2010/04/list-of-12-step-programs/
Alex 2012-12-01 20:26:47
Try to find one that you can relate to the most
David4444 2012-12-01 20:26:54
In my case, this is one of those “you had to be here” situations.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:27:07
Hopefully there are meetings around you, but if there are not, there are always phone and skype meetings available too
Alex 2012-12-01 20:27:18
Alex 2012-12-01 20:27:43
But we all have complicated lives, some better some worse… Your life could be as messed up as anything but there is always, usually a way out.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:28:06
You have much more faith than I have.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:29:16
For example I know a guy who was a re-convicted child molestor, who did over 15 year is jail.. Who has completely turned his ways… He is in recovery now for a very long time, have many year of not just not breaking the law, but he leads a very good, sober, clean life.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:29:48
I doubt your situation can’t be much worse than his was, but I am telling you, if you go to the 12 step meeting you’ll see people who’ve been through it all and still came out on top.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:30:00
I fear that if I don’t get out of this addiction, I might end up like that guy you mentioned.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:30:48
It is possible, just more reasons to go and get out of this addiction now, before it is too late. That being said, please do remember that you are making progress in the right direction
David4444 2012-12-01 20:31:41
My whole life has been pretty much negative. As such, I’ve been a negative person throughout my life. I try to have a little bit of positive thinking and 9 times out of 10, something goes wrong.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:32:33
I might consider the 12 step program, but I don’t want to do this alone without my family.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:32:51
I understand David, may be your father can go with you?
Alex 2012-12-01 20:33:11
There are what is called “open” meetings, where anybody can go to.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:33:28
I’ll try and ask him, but I don’t know if he’ll say yes.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:33:31
Plus you can always start with a phone meeting and have your farther next to you
Alex 2012-12-01 20:33:41
Give it a shot, it can’t hurt
David4444 2012-12-01 20:34:18
To him, he believes that this is normal and has told me that everyone goes through this.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:34:51
When I told him how many times I do this, he just said it’s just one of those things.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:35:14
I love him, but I don’t think he fully understands how bad this addiction really is.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:35:28
He told me not to worry about it, either.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:37:46
Well, I think he is partially right
Alex 2012-12-01 20:37:54
David4444 2012-12-01 20:37:55
Alex 2012-12-01 20:38:11
Whatever you are going through is what most men are dealing with
Alex 2012-12-01 20:38:16
Alex 2012-12-01 20:38:40
What is not okay, is that you feel so much guilt about how you express yourself sexually. That is not okay and not normal
Alex 2012-12-01 20:38:54
And I think you need to get to a place where you would feel okay with your sexuality
David4444 2012-12-01 20:39:31
Is that what the 12 step program is about?
Alex 2012-12-01 20:40:06
So it will probably require both, limiting your sexual behaviours to what you feel comfortable with (i.e. healthy sexual relationship with another person) and at a same time learning to understand and accept your sexuality for what it is.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:40:31
And yes, some 12 step programs are geared towards that. Did you take a look at the list that I’ve sent you earlier?
Alex 2012-12-01 20:40:38
David4444 2012-12-01 20:41:57
*** Addicts Anonymous is more for me.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:42:26
Yes, that is the one that I go to
David4444 2012-12-01 20:42:49
Sorry the word was bleeped out, but you know what it meant.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:44:10
Yes I know
Alex 2012-12-01 20:44:31
It is a really good group, that is the one I go to, and I think you will benefit a TON from going to one.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:44:38
You know what the scariest part of my addiction is?
Alex 2012-12-01 20:44:47
David4444 2012-12-01 20:44:47
It’s not all from porn.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:44:59
Real people too?
David4444 2012-12-01 20:45:12
Even people on TV.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:45:23
Without being sexual.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:45:29
David4444 2012-12-01 20:45:56
And, online as well.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:46:00
It really is “normal” meaning most other people deal with it. Trust me, you are not as bad as you might think you are, and you sure are not alone
Alex 2012-12-01 20:46:21
Read this articles:
Alex 2012-12-01 20:46:22
Alex 2012-12-01 20:46:34
Alex 2012-12-01 20:47:08
And once you are done, just go for it. Find a meeting and go to it.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:48:15
And here is a list of meetings: http://saa-recovery.org/Meetings/
Alex 2012-12-01 20:49:02
Do me a favor, I have to go now, but when you go to your first meeting email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and let me know how it went. Sounds good?
David4444 2012-12-01 20:49:51
I suppose so, but I need to explain more about my problem.
David4444 2012-12-01 20:50:06
Can I e-mail you about my problem first?
Alex 2012-12-01 20:52:01
Only if you will promis to go to a meeting afterwards
David4444 2012-12-01 20:52:31
Well, part of my problem is why I can’t promise to do that. It’s a long story.
Alex 2012-12-01 20:54:04
Ok, go ahead and email me, but will you promis me that after reading about your problem, if I’ll still think that it will be a good idea for you to go to a meeting, that you’ll go?
admin 2012-12-01 21:52:15
See you later
Guest_374 2012-12-02 09:53:32
really my life is **** i am addicted for more than three years and try to stop but could not can anybody help me
Guest_322 2012-12-02 09:13:21
I am, yes
Guest_681 2012-12-02 09:00:09
Guest_681 2012-12-02 09:00:26
soo yall are addicted to porn
Guest_644 2012-12-03 16:13:40
I just started this site last Friday. I have been dealing with an addiction to porn for about 5 yrs.
Guest_356 2012-12-02 08:32:26
Guest_837 2012-12-02 08:15:09
Guest_873 2012-12-02 08:07:15
Guest_362 2012-12-02 03:24:46
@Alex: a very good job .
Guest_362 2012-12-02 03:26:02
@Alex: make this site so popular that every porn site fears
Guest_362 2012-12-02 03:30:06
@Alex: they are using our illiteracy towards the addicting nature.
Guest_362 2012-12-02 03:31:56
@Alex: they r playing with our soft corner for there business.
Guest_362 2012-12-02 03:34:55
@Alex: they r ruining us.the whole mankind is at serious problem for there activity.they should be hanged.
Guest_362 2012-12-02 03:36:32
but alex how will i find out who is online now?
admin 2012-12-02 05:07:45
There is a panel of names to the left, you should see your name there. If your name is the only name there, you are the only one online.
Guest_380 2012-12-02 07:59:14
Alex 2012-12-02 07:45:52
Ok, guys I am off to bed, but if anybody want’s to chat, just say hi. There are always some people online.
Alex 2012-12-02 06:33:02
Hi All, I’ll be online for the next hour if anybody wants to chat
p 2012-12-02 14:48:25
This has been huge for m so far…it’s great to see that there is a way out of this for all of us that struggle. I use a twelve step and have been off that program for a while and decided to go back to it after a long period of failed attempts to stay clean, and this site is definitely going to help that.
Steve107 2012-12-02 14:49:39
I posted the last post and can’t wait to read more and take notes. Again, amazing.
Guest_828 2012-12-02 16:49:18
Guest_82 2012-12-02 16:49:40
i am a young girl who needs help
Guest_691 2012-12-02 16:50:32
I have been trying to quit this habit for some time now. Managed to cut back on masterbaiting, but the watching the porn is still there. I am tried of feeling guilt and shame feelings after I fall back into the same slump. Seems like my mind at times is never satisfied and minutes turn into hours. Tried of hiding a habit, just want to rid these of my life. Hoping this support system and breathing
Guest_774 2012-12-02 17:17:47
Porn free here for a month and a half here
Guest_879 2012-12-02 19:05:57
I need help
Guest_872 2012-12-02 19:42:56
James268 2012-12-02 19:43:12
Guest_872 2012-12-02 19:43:39
So, I’m use sing you’re addicted to porn?
Guest_872 2012-12-02 19:44:14
James268 2012-12-02 19:44:41
Yes, I’ve been on this site for about a year and a half
Guest_872 2012-12-02 19:45:22
How long have you gone without watching?
James268 2012-12-02 19:46:40
Currently, it has only been about one week
Guest_135 2012-12-02 21:14:38
I feel so hopeless. My girlfriend loves me. Im betrqying her on such an unforgivable level
Guest_260 2012-12-03 02:00:31
Guest_720 2012-12-03 02:49:34
I gotta jump back on the wagon, glad I’m here!
Guest_681 2012-12-03 19:28:00
I just found this site
Guest_383 2012-12-03 20:15:34
Just found this site, been addicted almost 9 years, time to get to work!
Guest_782 2012-12-03 20:17:36
Guest_782 2012-12-03 20:18:21
I have been pron free for 10 days but i keep on getting the urge to go back what should i do
Guest_684 2012-12-03 20:53:10
Guest_271 2012-12-03 23:37:00
Guest_48 2012-12-03 23:57:23
Guest_93 2012-12-04 01:15:20
Hey I just need to talk to someone..
Guest_813 2012-12-04 03:40:01
Guest_813 2012-12-04 03:40:12
Guest_813 2012-12-04 03:40:17
i guess not
Guest_165 2012-12-04 05:35:28
Guest_165 2012-12-04 05:35:43
is anyone there ?
Guest_165 2012-12-04 05:36:12
Anyway, this might just be me, but i feel like i need to confess something
Guest_165 2012-12-04 05:36:55
I havn’t told anyone in my family about my porn addiction because i’m sure they would reject me
Guest_165 2012-12-04 05:37:10
It would literally ruin my life, and I don’t know what to do
Guest_165 2012-12-04 05:37:27
i want to tell someone though and writing here actually makes me feel a bit relieved
Guest_165 2012-12-04 05:45:02
anyway, I’m going to give another 15 days a shot and hopefully this time i can make it
Guest_504 2012-12-04 06:28:51
i dont know if im addicted or not
Guest_29 2012-12-04 16:51:37
My husband is a porn addict and it has torn us apart
Guest_311 2012-12-05 00:13:18
Guest_311 2012-12-05 00:23:55
i visited this site about two months ago and thought wow .. a free site that offers all this support. then i went back to my old ways because after reading everything i skipped parts of the suggestions the measuring of the pulse etc. i started viewing non nude stuff and then was back to square one…im giving it my best try this time i have to put everything into it. thanks Alex
Guest_878 2012-12-05 00:26:57
my husband just admited that he is addicted to porn,does this really work?
Guest_311 2012-12-05 00:28:02
Normally after acting out i think .. omg not again.. delete the porn and truly mean it and within hours im back to square one searching porn , cam sites etc.but yesterday, a whole 24 hours of not viewing porn i made the decision to stop, i made the decision during a time where i would normally view porn, i deleted my bookmarks etc then came to this site, just now im totally craving.. :error:
Guest_139 2012-12-05 01:10:14
Hello anyone out there?
Guest_498 2012-12-05 08:09:36
Guest_191 2012-12-05 08:45:54
Guest_191 2012-12-05 08:46:00
Anyone want to talk
R111 2012-12-05 08:46:23
Any tips anyone has found helpful?
Guest_413 2012-12-05 09:54:15
I don’t know dude.
? 2012-12-05 09:55:08
How does one avoid triggers?
Guest_684 2012-12-05 10:14:02
Guest_45 2012-12-05 13:00:12
Guest_835 2012-12-05 17:56:24
Guest_747 2012-12-05 18:06:10
Started the program. Kicked ****. Went legit for 2 weeks. Back to once a week viewing. I’m totally frustrated.
Guest_747 2012-12-05 18:08:39
It’s like while I’m watching I acknowledge what I’m looking at is disgusting. It’s like I have no control. The exercises just didn’t work because I’d think “Should I do the exercise…nah”. Anyone know how I can make it more instinctual as opposed to “thinking” about it?
Guest_551 2012-12-05 18:11:16
I am new here, I was watching a family show last night with my wife and someone on the TV caught my attention and I could not stop ******* after the person, I had taped the show but didn’t delete it, thought I could sneak another peek later. Before I went to bed I went and deleted the program so I could not see it later. This was a big trigger for me.
Guest_366 2012-12-05 18:15:15
this is the hardest thing ive tried to quit
This chat window%*#s 2012-12-05 18:17:56
We each have our own favorite demons. For all of us we share the same one. Maybe if we don’t think of it as “quitting” but more like morphing to where we don’t need this “wolf” anymore.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-05 18:19:59
To quit something is way to final of a thought. Although we can’t be free till we unload this addiction. Talk about a catch 22.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-05 18:20:36
I’m starting up new hobbies and making new friends who don’t have this “disease” so to speak.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-05 18:22:31
Each and every one of us needs a tailored plan that fits our situation. I think I can succeed with Alex’s help. This forum gives me the chance to share my “condition” with other like folks who struggle daily like I do.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-05 18:26:36
First think I have noticed here with this group is we all pretty much are saying and experiencing the same “demon” and stuff daily. I believe we need to get out of the “thinking” mind or the rational mind and find a way to to say goodby to this one day at a time, so to speak. We know our rational mind is not helping much so what other ways can we deal with this and stay sane?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-05 18:27:19
I said “think” above and I meant “thing”
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-05 18:28:33
Hey if any of you want lets meet up here with Alex tomorrow and cover some of the tough questions with each other and him. I know I will be here.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-05 18:33:51
Remember Martin Luther King? His famous words, “The truth shall set you free” ? Well it’s still true. What have we got to loose. Our life? For most of us, what we remember as our life has been gone a long time. I used to hide this “Wolf” now I want everyone to know I have it. ( within reason, some people don’t care or want to help,) Don’t waste your time talking to a rock.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-05 18:36:59
Darn, I just remembered I have a meeting with the Eagles club tomorrow I can’t get out of. Looks like I’ll be here around 8pm.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-05 18:37:58
Raise your “cyber hand” or chime in if you can make it tomorrow night.
Guest_179 2012-12-05 18:44:39
Hi is anyone here
Guest_179 2012-12-05 18:45:10
I was wondering i am an addict years ago
Guest_179 2012-12-05 18:45:59
about 11 years ago I used to watch porn and ********** but then I stopped got married and had children,
Guest_179 2012-12-05 18:46:36
But I still get a great high when seeing porn although I dont ********** but it makes me try and have more erotic sex with my wife
Guest_179 2012-12-05 18:47:12
and everytime I am by the computer myself I have a tendacy to go to articles and stuff about sex
Guest_179 2012-12-05 18:47:20
should I be worried?
Guest_551 2012-12-05 19:03:27
When making love to my wife I have lstfl thoughts and its hard to concentrate on her instead of the fantasies. This is not fair to her.
Guest_219 2012-12-05 19:06:43
I will be on tommorrow evening to chat with Alex and all of you!!! trying to come up with some questions.
Guest_219 2012-12-05 19:07:52
i live in eastern time zone, so i guess i have to get on at 9pm
Guest_840 2012-12-06 08:49:40
Guest_840 2012-12-06 08:51:29
This site has been helpful for me..I think this chat will help me further
Guest_22 2012-12-05 19:11:10
I can barely keep up with the day of the week. I just got an email about this chat online and couldn’t remember what it was about or who Alex is. How are you 219?
Guest_22 2012-12-05 19:13:04
Well I suppose there needs to be more than one person to chat. Later Gators…
Guest_980 2012-12-05 19:25:00
hi is anyone here
Guest_641 2012-12-05 19:52:46
Hello, I’m here.
Guest_641 2012-12-05 19:53:19
Guest_308 2012-12-05 20:11:13
Guest_308 2012-12-05 20:14:46
Guest_717 2012-12-05 20:31:38
I’m new to the chat and I’m seriously tired of my actions. They keep me up and make me feel as if I’m powerless against it. I’m tired of watching pornography, there isn’t satisfaction anymore, only sadness and hate. I just need words of encouragement that I will get rid of these chains, encouragement,not judgement.
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:34:57
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:35:20
It’s a slow and heavy walk to the mountaintop
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:35:34
that doesn’t mean you wont get there, someday
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:36:00
you just need to start building a strategy, takings small steps
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:36:14
getting used to walking…
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:36:29
I’ve tried and failed many times
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:36:40
I’m NOT were I want to be, but I’m not where I used to be.
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:36:53
and that gives me courage.
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:42:43
you CAN change. many people have done it before, and so can you.
Guest_717 2012-12-05 20:43:31
Thanks, I needed those words.
LucasM 2012-12-05 20:46:31
Check the forum, there are a lot of stories and tips from other ones.
Guest_717 2012-12-05 20:47:17
Guest_986 2012-12-05 20:49:12
checking out the new chat feature, how long has it been up?
Guest_148 2012-12-05 20:56:12
Only few days
Guest_482 2012-12-05 22:01:10
Hi just had a relapse i struggle very now then but I need to find a solution for this addiction that i dont want.
Guest_850 2012-12-05 22:33:17
Do we have alex here now?
qqraa 2012-12-05 22:33:44
HAve you seen him?
Guest_741 2012-12-05 22:35:57
qqraa 2012-12-05 22:40:07
qqraa 2012-12-05 22:40:13
how r u?
Guest_312 2012-12-05 23:01:00
Lots of stuff posted here since last night , tonight is wed 10,52pm and last time i acted out was monday. not long but long for me. last night i coped by doing taking some deep breaths and writing out a grattitude list. i did ten 10 second breaths in hold for ten secs and release for 10 secs. . etc.. and today and tonight ive did the same.
Guest_312 2012-12-05 23:01:08
Guest_613 2012-12-05 23:10:00
just acted out after eight days of being sober i feel awful
Guest_312 2012-12-05 23:14:26
I bet you do.. try not to give yourself to a hard time and get back on track now … its just a lapse , im sure its not a relapse unless it lasts for days , just try to get back on track as from now.
Guest_613 2012-12-05 23:20:10
Guest_230 2012-12-05 23:21:20
Guest_230 2012-12-05 23:21:35
hows it going . im new to chat
Guest_230 2012-12-05 23:22:54
working out hard helps but than if u over to it, ur body will want pain relif and that means more porn and drinking
Guest_312 2012-12-05 23:30:29
yeah we have to find a balance, im not new to quitting something but this is one of my hardest.when i come home tonight i walked the dog did the dishes spent some time with family, it felt good. Normally it would be , come in , cup of coffee , sit with family whilst drinking it.. go upstairs look for porn, talk to people online, act out , quickly walk the dog and back to the porn again. :important
Guest_312 2012-12-05 23:34:11
if anyone is new here im about 3 days abstinent. here is the link to the recovery course. i recommend reading all of it , dont try to read it all as quickly as possible like i did , skipping out parts here and there lol , http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/porn-addiction-recovery-course/
asdfhi 2012-12-06 00:52:35
This webpage has helped me like nothing and nobody else when i needed it most, my eternal thanks, Alex.
Guest_766 2012-12-06 01:19:43
@asdfhi … wonderful isnt it , i feel so much better this time , i recognise the cravings and can now do something about them.. where as before i felt this restlesness all over my body i was fidgety and i felt something in my chest and legs i was craving and then gave in now i know what to do.. breathing.. meditate .. prayer .. i do these anyway.. and come to this site
Guest_650 2012-12-06 01:29:30
Yes, I got a lot of help here too. Really great resource.
Guest_860 2012-12-06 02:02:10
i can’t believe that I still can’t kick this ****** thing
Guest_766 2012-12-06 02:12:08
@ guest_860 .. its like a curse isnt it !! i tried and failed many times , just try your best , give it a really good go this time and keep it a day at a time , just stop for today not forever just today is all you need to quit for. then tomorrow , start again. its simple but can be very hard.. ive craved 4 times today but instead of just fighting them i chose to do some of Alex’s suggestions
Guest_269 2012-12-06 02:23:07
Yes feed the right wolf!
Guest_355 2012-12-06 02:32:36
**** guys,I just had a close call
Guest_143 2012-12-06 02:36:54
I have tried numerous times to break the month barrier. This is a measurable goal for me and, as of yet,unachievable. Has anyone gone that long without viewing pornographic material?
Guest_355 2012-12-06 02:37:43
Yeah,my best is 3 months
Guest_143 2012-12-06 02:38:14
@Guest_355 What was the trigger for the close call and what steps did you take to avoid porn?
Guest_355 2012-12-06 02:40:49
Don’t worry buddy,you can do it. The trigger was just this old porno that I remembered,I never wacthed the whole thing,so I kept getting urges to finish it. Typed it into google and just looked at the links,didn’t click anything. Landed on this site instead.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 02:42:44
3 months is great. It was probably fairly freeing. Since I mentioned a month, I might make that a goal starting now. Thanks for the encouragement!
Guest_143 2012-12-06 02:46:17
It is so easy(too easy)to go to a site. Redirecting to places like this is very helpful.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 02:46:42
Yeah,this place is the best
Guest_143 2012-12-06 02:50:38
I basically go to two different sites for my porn. Very sadly, they seem like “old friends”, since I have been visiting them for awhile. The desire to view is pretty strong and it is easy to tell myself that I am not hurting anyone.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 02:53:04
You do know how ****** up the porn industry is,right?
Guest_143 2012-12-06 02:54:04
Maybe, maybe I don’t. What are your thoughts about it?
Guest_355 2012-12-06 02:56:54
I never had specific sites that interested me,I just typed stuff that turned me on into google. So yeah,for me just going on google is risky,not gonna do that anymore. I swiched to a more “family friendly” search engine,it’s called duckduckgo. Google’s safety settings don’t even freaking work properly…
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:03:23
I was always afraid of computer viruses or people somehow finding out about my porn habit to search openly on Google. The two sites I visit say they check the material for harmful programs. Have people ever inquired why you use duckduckgo? Or are you fairly open about your porn habit?
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:06:27
I was always afraid of computer viruses or someone finding out about my porn habit to use general Internet searches. The two sites I visit say they screen their material for harmful programs. Does anyone ever ask why you use duckduckgo? Are you fairly open about your habit?
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:07:56
That could be a repeat. My responses weren’t going through.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:11:21
Wait,so you actually downloaded the porn? Why would you do that? Back when I was a full blown addict,I set up my browser so that it doesn’t keep history at all or save searches. It’s still set up like that,don’t know why I’d change it just because I’m quitting. It’s not hard to come up with other reasons for using duckduckgo,I find it to be a superior search engine overall,gives more percise
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:11:32
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:11:44
Googles bubbles you now
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:13:15
And even if you turn that off you’ll still get pretty irrelevant results sometimes,a lot of them consisting of porn
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:13:25
Maybe at one point I downloaded, a long time ago. Now that I think about it, I have been dealing with this for about 15 years.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:16:29
How long have you been clean,as of now?
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:17:53
As of now? Maybe a couple days.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:18:16
I had about 2 weeks off and then a week on before that.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:18:40
Off being without
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:18:57
I’m 2 weeks in
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:22:01
I found there is a strong physiological response during the first week. Then alot of mental games your mind plays after that, punctuated by strong physical urges.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:22:10
Got urges right now so I came on here,talking about it helps
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:22:19
good work btw
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:23:05
It’s my first time on this chat,didn’t know about the feature,I was gonna go on the forums
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:23:19
Yeah it does, this is probably the most honest and open conversation about porn I’ve ever had. Thanks, it really does help.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:23:56
Thats interesting. First time on this chat for me too.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:29:01
I get terrible withdrawal symptoms,first I get very frequent urination,then after that goes away the tip of my ***** becomes painful and red. Had this checked out by docs and everything and they couldn’t attribute it to anything,it only happens when I quit. All the symptoms go away in like a month or so.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:30:14
Good evening all. Nice to have a small serious group here.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:31:20
@355, boy I never heard of anything like this. I just got done with, at least I hope I’m done with Whooping Cough. I thought that was bad.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:32:18
I agree, this is great.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:32:43
*a great convo
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:32:47
You say the symptoms go away in a month or two. Do they go away with or with out sustaining from MB?
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:33:32
So yeah,since I’m like 2 weeks in,I’ve got the frequent urination right now,thankfully no pain yet
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:33:57
I just discovered this chat forum after recieving an email from Alex
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:34:04
I quit everything,porn and mastrubation
Salman 2012-12-06 03:34:14
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:34:26
Hey Salman, welcome.
Salman 2012-12-06 03:34:31
Salman 2012-12-06 03:34:58
How is the recovery going for you guys?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:35:28
@355 how long have you been high and dry from PN & MB?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:35:56
Recovery? It’s a day to day or one day at a time.
Salman 2012-12-06 03:36:11
It is really bad for me..actually
Guest_50 2012-12-06 03:36:16
Alex’s stuff is great but still i was relapsing. It was only when I found out that it is no longer what *** considers sin that I was able to be set free. Been about three months now. I say about because I dont remember when last. Hold out guys. The end is in sight
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:36:51
Alex our host will be here tomorrow night anyone going to show up for a chat with him?
Salman 2012-12-06 03:36:52
Wow that is awesome guest50…excellent
Salman 2012-12-06 03:37:20
I don’t think I could make it, but I would love to talk to him
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:37:21
Just told you,I’m 2 weeks in
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:37:50
Would love to, how often does he get on the chat?
Salman 2012-12-06 03:37:59
referring to Jose:
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:38:14
I think Alex just started this chat forum….
Salman 2012-12-06 03:38:16
I’ve been kind of forced into this…
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:38:37
Anyone know when Alex started this Chat option?
Salman 2012-12-06 03:38:40
through peer influence..mainly and the environment
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:38:43
@Salman what do you mean forced?
Salman 2012-12-06 03:39:01
I mean forced into PN
Salman 2012-12-06 03:39:07
Salman 2012-12-06 03:39:32
I wish I never had those peers..
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:39:37
Salman, did you also mean forced into recovery by peers?
Salman 2012-12-06 03:39:57
No, no, I’m sorry forced into PN by peers i meant
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:40:10
How did that happen?
Salman 2012-12-06 03:40:38
the worst part about this is that I was just growing to be a beter person
Salman 2012-12-06 03:40:51
I was 12 to be exact
Guest_50 2012-12-06 03:41:02
Wow, just noticed that this site self edits word
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:41:05
I remember a kid bringing Playboy and Penthouse into 5th grade when I was a kid, but I think it has little to do with my addiction now.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:41:37
Many things can bring us together here, I’m just glad to be here with you guys or gals. I have been involved since puberty.
Salman 2012-12-06 03:41:39
And the bad environmental influence and the increasing availability of internet
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:42:00
My best is 3 months,that’s when I got all those symptoms and stuff,it was terrible for the first month but afterwards when the symptoms dissapated it felt so good to be free. Man,I feel so stupid for relapsing that time,just looked up porn on a whim,I don’t even know what happened…
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:42:10
Time to find some peace. Time to feed the right wolf.
Salman 2012-12-06 03:42:17
and I was in one situatuion where the teacher would just leave class and let the guys get on the computer
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:42:29
Uh, mobile devices
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:42:43
it’s WAY too easy
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:43:49
Bad Bad teach
Salman 2012-12-06 03:43:51
srry i was out
Salman 2012-12-06 03:44:27
the guys would call me and say “hey look the new movie” or something and I would go there they would have pn on the screen..
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:44:39
Salman,I was sort of peer pressured into it too,all my friends do it and they kept gicing me sites
Salman 2012-12-06 03:44:53
Salman 2012-12-06 03:45:40
man if there is anything i could wish in my life, it would be that I never had been shown/told about the idea of pn
Salman 2012-12-06 03:45:57
I would be such a great person now..
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:45:57
This addiction is way more prevalent and a problem that any or most people suspect. I know many who just tell me it’s normal.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:46:09
Heck,I was sorta tricked into it,this guy told me it was a game site…
Salman 2012-12-06 03:46:12
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:46:19
Normal? no way. they don’t have a clue what we go through.
Salman 2012-12-06 03:46:57
there are so many things that i lost bcus of this ****…:-(
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:47:01
That was the first internet porn I viewed
Salman 2012-12-06 03:47:13
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:47:15
Hey Salman, don’t worry your still a great person. We just lost some of our self esteem.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:47:22
It is so ingrained in the Internet now that it is hard to not come across it.
Salman 2012-12-06 03:47:37
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:48:01
Before that,I saw porn for the first time on late night television as a kid…
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:48:12
Internet porn has a lot to do with the sex trade in general.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:48:40
@JavaJo Can you elaborate?
Salman 2012-12-06 03:48:43
actually my religion prohibits the idea of taking or watching picture…but my family wasn’t religious now was my environment…I was told to go to school learn so I could make more money…but through that I learned something that is almost killing me…alive
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:50:07
What is your religion?
Guest_143 2012-12-06 03:50:10
@ Salman I hurt for you. How do you picture your life without porn then? Or how has it affected you?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:50:58
Salman, if you don’t mind me asking how old are you now? If this is too personal don’t answer.
Salman 2012-12-06 03:51:21
I’m actually muslim but I hate to say that bcus I can’t fulfill my obligation…by watchin pn or mb
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:52:19
I can see this being especially hard with your Religion.
Salman 2012-12-06 03:52:34
@guest143: If i didn’t had pn…wow I would have saved so much energy…I would be so much more healthy…I would’ve probably graduated from college and be working right now..
Salman 2012-12-06 03:53:13
@ yes exactly, my age … lets say I’m in my mid 20s
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:53:28
How long have you been clean?
Salman 2012-12-06 03:54:02
I was clean for about month and a half… after that couldn’t resist it..
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:54:13
Well you have a lot of life ahead of you. I am 64 and it makes no difference how old we are we have the same experience here.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:55:33
It helps to have this support group. We do need each other. This can not be done with only one system. It takes more than ***, more than friends, more than your strong will.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:55:52
How about as of now? Do you get any withdrawal symptoms,like me?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 03:56:32
For me this ( my Recovery ) is the most important thing in my life.
Salman 2012-12-06 03:57:54
sry i was out
Salman 2012-12-06 03:58:13
i don’t relly know what are withdrawal symptoms
Salman 2012-12-06 03:58:44
Wow Mr. Jose I really appreciate you sharing with me.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 03:59:31
My main problem is that sometimes I find that I cannot put my all into my recovery,either I just have way too much going on in life or things start going so well that I get complacent and slip up…
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:00:02
@355 as far as I know symptoms like you describe are quite rare.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:00:14
neither could I do it regularly…I did it few times ..then would be off..
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:00:30
Thats amazing! Just that you realize how much it negatively affects your life. And that you have focused your energy on being and staying clean. It makes me happy to hear that b/c I believe I don’t place enough importance on my own porn habit.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:01:11
Most withdrawal symptoms are emotional and not physical. I have no doubt your going through them though.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:01:13
It makes me realize that this is a major problem in my life and allows me to treat it as such.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:02:58
It is important to realize that there is no cure. I believe Alex with expand on that part tomorrow night.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 04:03:12
Yeah,I understand,and it sucks
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:03:16
It seems that porn and MB seems to KO my self esteem everytime I engage in it. It’s been beaten down so much, it’s hard to find most of the time.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:04:30
Spending time with guys or folks like Alex will help make a difference regarding self esteem.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:04:48
Guest_355 2012-12-06 04:05:31
I got up to urinate like 3 times since I got into the chat,feel like I gotta go now too,I’ll go in a minute
Salman 2012-12-06 04:05:52
if you guys wanna know my terrible conditions due to pn and mb
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:06:07
Most of us if we will live long enough will loose even more. On the positive side if you have someone who loves you they will not leave.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 04:06:32
Yeah,go ahead,please share
Salman 2012-12-06 04:07:24
I have digestive issues…severe..I have cognitive issues…I used to be a healthy guys…weighed 200 lbs…now I weigh 155lbs and my hands wrists are the skinniest…and since i started this **** so early i don’t think my body even grew to its full extent
Salman 2012-12-06 04:07:52
i have sever muscle cramps
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:08:25
Salman, do you have any drug addictions? You don’t have to answer this.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:09:19
I’m old enough that I have tried many different recreational drugs.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:09:20
you know the worst thing…I ended up having a severe surgery due to this …
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:09:37
No more though. Only Beer are drink now and then.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:09:41
I actually i thank *** that I didn’t get addicted to other things in addition to pn
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:10:29
You attribute all of those symptoms and the surgery to PN?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:10:45
My brother who also addicted to pn died last March. he was addicted to several drugs as well.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:11:14
my religion prohibits any substance that causes intoxication or takes you towards death…so I try my best in avoiding smoking, drinks ec
Guest_355 2012-12-06 04:11:22
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:11:24
Salman? Do you have anyone special in your life. Wife or family?
Salman 2012-12-06 04:11:25
guest143: yes i do
Salman 2012-12-06 04:12:20
Mr. jose: I wish i was married but i do have parents and siblings
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:12:22
@JavaJo Is the loss of your brother the impetus to starting your recovery work?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:12:44
It’s VERY important to have someone who knows we are going through this.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:12:56
Mr. jose…I’m really sry to hear that…wow.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:13:24
Mr. Jose..I understand that but unfortunately i’m unable to share it to anyone..
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:13:27
@143 No. I’m just tired of being a slave and feeding the wrong Wolf.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:14:07
Salman, don’t give up. I was only just within the last 6 months able to share with my female friend of many years.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:14:07
I wish i was married you know my addiction info would be more in private
Salman 2012-12-06 04:14:26
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:14:26
I feel so much better to have someone who will listen and not judge.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:14:40
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:14:54
What do you mean Salman. More in private?
Salman 2012-12-06 04:15:03
but I think I finally found someone: you and all these wonderful people.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:15:30
Who do you tell? I have been afraid for 15 yrs that someone will find out, it is hard to turn around and willingly share that information.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:15:45
I mean like if i told my wife about my issue… she wouldn’t share it to others…
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:16:02
Like I said earlier, one person, one ***, one support group is not enough. Most people like us do not ever succeed.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:16:05
but if i told my family…they would be so embarass to find this out
Salman 2012-12-06 04:16:56
wow…i feel kind of limited..
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:17:04
Yes this is true, my girl friend is true to me and would never share this information with anyone.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:17:18
however..my brther did found out when he noticed pn sites on comp
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:17:47
You may be surprised how your family takes it. If even one of them supports you it can mean the world.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:17:57
but again i’m not so comfy with him that i could tell everything i’m experiencing
Salman 2012-12-06 04:18:16
sry give me a minute or two.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:18:31
What about friends? Or a therapist?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:18:36
@143 you need to confide in someone. It is a first or can be a first step in your recovery.
Salman 2012-12-06 04:18:44
i might have to sign out and come back
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:19:26
That seems close to impossible
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:20:09
@143 the shame that goes with this addiction is so overwhellming I totally understand how hard it is to talk about this with a friend.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:21:03
I don’t go to church or follow any religion so it means I need to find a secular path to recovery.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:21:24
Not so easy but the option for awhile was a bullet in my head.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:22:07
Do you have any support groups? I have searched and found most are 12 steps. I agree with the secular path.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:22:09
@143 I hope to see you here tomorrow with Alex.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:22:44
Alex is more with the 12 step path but he supports any road or path to recovery.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:23:01
I don’t have a support group. this is it for me.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:23:45
I won’t be able to sign in till 8pm pacific time tomorrow.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:24:02
I’m glad you are here.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:24:23
Watch out for the triggers. Computers are full of them.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:24:50
I spend way too much time on FB and such.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:25:06
My triggers are internet pn.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:25:26
Sometimes it’s just a pic of a good looking girl.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:25:46
I’m starting up new hobbies in hopes it helps.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:26:14
What new hobbies?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:26:31
@ 64 years old you might say I have had some experience with this condition.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:26:38
Ham Radio for one.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:26:47
FB can trigger me
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:26:52
Sky diving I hope next season.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:27:37
I love skydiving
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:27:40
I should just dump FB for Google + but it is all the same, meaning the triggers are everywhere.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:27:49
Are you a jumper?
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:29:12
No, I could not say that. I’ve done two tandems and trained for my AFF1. Someday, with money permitting I will pursue it more.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:30:24
Do you have many/any jumps logged?
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:30:26
Hey, nice going. your way more experienced than me. I have a USPA membership and a magazine subscription but have yet to get my first jump in.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:30:51
You’ll love it
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:31:10
For now when I take out my card it’s kind of a joke with my friends but they know I’m going to do it.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:31:34
One of my heros is Jeb Corlis. Wing suit pro.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:31:44
It makes you realize being on Earth is an amazing and special thing.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:31:48
I really want a wing suit.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:31:52
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:32:26
supposed to have 250 jumps first though.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:32:32
He wants to land without a parachute
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:32:50
Did you know someone in the UK already did this year?
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:33:07
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:33:39
If jumping out of an airplane doesn’t take your mind off pn than nothing will.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:34:19
Ya, this stunt man jumped out of a helicopter with his camera man and landed in a huge pile of cardboard boxes.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:34:35
You can find it if you google it.
Guest_355 2012-12-06 04:34:56
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:35:11
Hey welcome back.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:35:24
What?? I’m skeptical…cardboard boxes.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:35:42
We are going to get a bunch of us togather to jump out of a plane:-)
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:36:00
Jeb Corliss’s design features a 500 ft ramp
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:36:33
You bet. Card board boxes the size of a foot ball field. As tall as a building and I don’t know how many yards of them.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:36:59
I will show you a link in a minute.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:37:23
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:37:45
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:38:46
Guest 143 has parachuted before 355 and I’m in line for my first jump
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:39:20
We got on the subject of new hobbies to take out mind off pn
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:39:30
Well, hey. I want to say this has been a good experience for me. I have never had a open conversation about my porn habits/addiction. Thank you, and I hope to be involved here more in the future (maybe with a name)
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:39:56
Or you can use a handle like I have here.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:40:22
My real first name is Joe. I just morphed it into what you see.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:40:56
Maybe I will catch you tomorrow night 143 with Alex. I’m sure he will have a good group here.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:41:31
Like it. It’s been good talking with you Joe and you 355.
JoseJavaJo 2012-12-06 04:42:08
Take care guys, watch out for triggers. Until our next meeting be well.
Guest_143 2012-12-06 04:42:37
Thanks, you too
Guest_355 2012-12-06 04:43:36
Thanks 143,it was a nice chat
Guest_696 2012-12-06 04:57:52
Guest_118 2012-12-06 05:03:59
hi Alex this shiv from india
Guest_621 2012-12-06 05:07:44
Judoneau 2012-12-06 05:10:53
Hey everyone, hope you are doing well tonight, and resisting those unhealthy urges
Guest_621 2012-12-06 05:11:46
Glad to know I am not the only one going through this ****…I hate this **** but just can’t kick it
Guest_621 2012-12-06 05:13:41
everywhere you go now days there are triggers…makes it hard to take it one day at a time
Judoneau 2012-12-06 05:15:18
ya, i make the most progress when i sleep at friends places, or just keep myself out of problem situations
Judoneau 2012-12-06 05:16:05
sure enough, when im alone, i really feel the urge, i have the urge right now, but i try to remember all the pain it cause with my girl and I. now that we are broken up, i dont want to go through that, or put anyone through sexual disfunction again. its not worth the temporary relief
Guest_621 2012-12-06 05:18:46
hang in there! Just remember how much it sets you back personally for a few minutes of trash
Guest_621 2012-12-06 05:20:31
It will get easier the more you resist. I can go months at a time…the most I went recently was 5 months…I am shooting for more this time
Guest_621 2012-12-06 05:23:35
do you pray much? I know that helps for me.
Guest_621 2012-12-06 05:23:47
Judoneau 2012-12-06 05:26:18
i think meditation might help. I hope i can be cured of this in a few months. I dont mind watching prn so much, as I hate not enjoying sex the way i did back in high school. Its like i dont remember what real sex was like and ive replaced it with self gratification of porn. I’m hoping 2-3 months will return me to normal.
Guest_621 2012-12-06 05:28:55
good luck man…unfortunately you can’t have your cake and eat it to with this problem.
Judoneau 2012-12-06 05:49:08
ya, maybe i can even get my ex back after i take back control over my mind. The hindus said it well when they explained your mind is like a team of horses, and you are on a chariot holding the reigns. You have to steer your mind in the right direction, or it will run wild and take you nowhere.
Steen 2012-12-06 10:09:11
Hi, happy December everybody
Guest_178 2012-12-06 11:07:45
A reminder for everyone to take breaks when using the computer and immediately shutting it down when feeling urges. (I just shut off my internet modem so I can;t use my phone).
Guest_533 2012-12-06 11:10:18
Guest_971 2012-12-06 14:36:08
Guest_971 2012-12-06 15:20:38
i will try anything positive to overcome a craving , sticking my headphones on and listening to that relaxation video helped me , anything positive i guess. im wondering though , how a singly guy like myself can stop porn AND masturbation. isnt there such a thig as healthy masturbation like maybe once a week or something?
Guest_902 2012-12-06 16:22:30
Guest_902 2012-12-06 16:24:59
^ i think even “healthy” masturbation would tempt you.. you may think that you can do it just once but then your mind would swirl and lure you to act some more..
Guest_397 2012-12-07 10:13:28
Guest_210 2012-12-06 17:32:34
What’s happenining? Been working the ptogra tobeat this
Guest_210 2012-12-06 17:33:46
Been working the program about a month now
Guest_210 2012-12-06 17:35:29
Struggling but it is definitely working
Guest_971 2012-12-06 18:13:06
yes , me too , that kinda got me giving in last time , masturbation with thinking then thinking more and more and then my addiction was in charge again O_O :o)
Guest_210 2012-12-06 18:17:55
I know what you are going through
Guest_238 2012-12-06 18:45:27
i believe the web protective software like k9 helps allot. the password must be imputed by a trusted friend whom u know will not give access to the password. helps alot
Guest_238 2012-12-06 18:55:29
its been 35 days without any porn(especially videos)and masturbation. its been very difficult but fruitful as well. in the beginning i use to have cravings every 10 to 14 days; head hakes, stress etc.. but involving myself in church activities and looking at progress of 35 journal journey i am always motivated to urge on and i give the glory to *** for people like Alex on.O:-D
Guest_479 2012-12-06 20:01:10
Good Job. I look forward to 35 days with out viewing Porn or masturbating
Guest_971 2012-12-06 20:30:52
35 days is awesome well done and i agree with the other guest , there are triggers everywhere and thats why i take it one day or even 1 hour at a time. for the 1st time since my internet addiction started 9 years ago im actually able to control or not control, um.. im able to not give in to the strong urges of viewing porn. and they pass! they really do! thats 4 days :-*
Guest_479 2012-12-06 20:41:04
I’m on my third day
Guest_971 2012-12-06 20:52:50
@479 how do you cope with triggers? i just got a strong urge to look for porn on google but did some breathing exercises then come here so thats put it off for now. i do believe that , as with any addiction i have , it will get better through time.
Guest_799 2012-12-06 22:15:07
Great 971 I had the same trigger happen to me on Tuesday & couldn’t control it.
Guest_971 2012-12-06 22:55:02
799.. Did you try to overcome it by fighting it for as long as possible or act on it right away :help:
Guest_878 2012-12-06 23:37:01
As a kindness to myself I’m openly admitting I have a serious issue. I’ve sat here a while debating whether to leave any sign I read your advice.Your story really got me thinking, and its time to stop wasting myself. Thank you Alex. A place to start shared with others will have far deeper meaning to me than the hollow words I utter to myself, yet have long since dismissed as empty self delusion
Guest_971 2012-12-06 23:40:03
878 . Alex will be here in a few hours , im in uk so will be asleep by then
Guest_623 2012-12-07 00:50:20
hello guest 623
Guest_623 2012-12-07 00:51:33
Alex 2012-12-07 01:58:17
Hi guys, I am here if anybody want’s to chat
Guest_971 2012-12-07 02:02:50
Alex 2012-12-07 02:02:57
Alex 2012-12-07 02:03:25
You can change your name to something more meaningful, in the window to the left of chat window
Guest_971 2012-12-07 02:03:34
ive been a few days abstinent now but have this strong urge to ********** without porn
Alex 2012-12-07 02:03:36
top left I mean
Guest_971 2012-12-07 02:04:08
Scott 2012-12-07 02:04:33
hey Alex, just wanted to say thanks for your free course – tomorrow is the last e-mail, and they have been really encouraging and helpful.
Guest_933 2012-12-07 02:04:58
Hi Alex, great program. It’s really made me aware of why I do the things I do
stephen 2012-12-07 02:05:16
its the most helpful free site available
Alex 2012-12-07 02:05:34
Thanks guys, I am really glad to hear this
staystrong 2012-12-07 02:05:38
yeah and the reasons i feel the way i feel. (used to feel)
Scott 2012-12-07 02:05:46
Yeah, I’m glad I stumbled onto it… it’s amazing how little help for porn addiction there is out there
Alex 2012-12-07 02:05:59
It’s come a long way since it first started
Alex 2012-12-07 02:06:09
Well, it’s hard to provide quality help for free…
stephen 2012-12-07 02:06:20
did you ever charge for this site?
Alex 2012-12-07 02:06:24
If you think about it, there isn’t much free quality help for other issues either
stephen 2012-12-07 02:06:43
Alex 2012-12-07 02:06:48
No, this site is free, just supported through donations and advertisment, always was always will be
stephen 2012-12-07 02:07:34
whats yoru opinion on single guy sobriety ?
Alex 2012-12-07 02:07:53
Anyway, I think it will be a good idea if we all go in circle and tell how we are doing today, just to share a little bit.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:08:55
Well, I think everybody is free to define what sobriety is and what works for them, I am not against all forms of masturbation, personally if that is what you are asking, but for married/in relationship men, I do suggest to avoid it all together (if possible)
stephen 2012-12-07 02:08:58
today i have fought off 5 urges to view porn and one urge to masturbate without viewing porn but ive did it and it feels good
Tom 2012-12-07 02:09:19
I’m struggling with opening up to others. I know this is important but can’t quite wrap my mind around it yet
Alex 2012-12-07 02:09:19
Alex 2012-12-07 02:09:25
Alex 2012-12-07 02:09:54
Anybody else wants to share?
Alex 2012-12-07 02:10:04
Anybody had a good day ?
Scott 2012-12-07 02:10:21
I’m doing ok today, I fell to porn yesterday morning and the night before.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:10:59
Sorry to hear that, but I am glad that you are free today. How long have you been in recovery?
Robb 2012-12-07 02:11:19
Tom, i think this is a good way to start. It is hard to open up and share these things, this chat helps. And it is a safe environment
staystrong 2012-12-07 02:11:42
I had a great day. started off with erp and spiritual things.
Scott 2012-12-07 02:11:45
I’ve been seeing a counsellor for about a year now, and started going to a Christian support group in October. It’s been really helpful.
Tom 2012-12-07 02:12:03
I’m struggling with opening up to others for help. I can’t seem to wrap my mind around it yet
Alex 2012-12-07 02:12:17
@Scott, nicely done.
stephen 2012-12-07 02:12:21
yeah this is good for me , ive got alot off my chest just messaging on here as guest 971 all day. felt good just to shareeee
Scott 2012-12-07 02:12:23
Hey Tom, I started opening up in May of this year and it changed my life
Alex 2012-12-07 02:12:27
@Tom, well you are doing it now, and seem to be doing great
Alex 2012-12-07 02:13:00
@Tom, Want to tell us a bit about yourself?
stephen 2012-12-07 02:13:32
it feels good to have people on my screen talking about real stuff !!! !:)
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:14:06
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:14:10
is alex in
Alex 2012-12-07 02:14:22
Yes, real people real stuff. Sure 885 I am here
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:14:30
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:14:38
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:14:43
how are you
Alex 2012-12-07 02:15:10
Alex 2012-12-07 02:15:17
We are just sharing
Alex 2012-12-07 02:15:24
How we are doing today, etc
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:15:28
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:15:32
i am okay
Tom 2012-12-07 02:15:41
I’m have a good education, am a leader in many aspects of “life” but struggle with this idiotic porn addiction.
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:15:47
doing a 30 day detox
Alex 2012-12-07 02:16:09
@Tom, that is pretty common
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:16:18
I am cancelling all of my internet accounts in 6 days
stephen 2012-12-07 02:16:29
good man , and after 30 days do another 30??
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:16:31
no home internet will mean no temptation
Alex 2012-12-07 02:16:35
in my 12 step group we have all kinds of successful people from CEO’s to Doctors etc
Scott 2012-12-07 02:16:38
Yeah, I got rid of my smartphone entirely.
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:16:46
@stephen that is the point
Alex 2012-12-07 02:16:48
@885 Good for you
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:17:03
thank you Alex
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:17:18
your story and posts have really helped me
Alex 2012-12-07 02:17:29
Any of you guys, tried a 12 step program?
stephen 2012-12-07 02:17:34
I go to AA and NA wish i had the courage to go to porn a lol.
Scott 2012-12-07 02:17:37
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:17:49
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:17:56
is there an online AA
Scott 2012-12-07 02:18:12
@stephen, what is NA?
Tom 2012-12-07 02:18:14
Followg your program has made me understand the roots of it all. The very thing I crave in porn is the very thing I long for in life; the buring desire for love.
stephen 2012-12-07 02:18:26
Alex 2012-12-07 02:18:28
@Stephen, SAA is just like AA you’ll barely notice a difference and about 30% of people are converts from other A programs
stephen 2012-12-07 02:18:34
Scott 2012-12-07 02:18:48
@stephen, i understood it anyway
Alex 2012-12-07 02:18:55
stephen 2012-12-07 02:19:19
yeah i know i need to look it up , there may be a meeting in edinburgh
Alex 2012-12-07 02:19:22
Makes sense.. Porn is a shorcut and fake way to get what we want, except it doesn’t give us what we want
Scott 2012-12-07 02:19:29
Understanding the roots has been a major help, for sure
Alex 2012-12-07 02:19:45
stephen 2012-12-07 02:20:02
Alex 2012-12-07 02:20:04
You can find meetings there, there are also skype and phone meetings under electronic meetings link
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:20:10
Alex and all why cant i have meaningful connections with men?
Alex 2012-12-07 02:20:18
It’s kind of like this chat but much bigger
Alex 2012-12-07 02:20:46
@885 are you a woman?
Scott 2012-12-07 02:20:56
@Alex, what I appreciate most about you is your help is so practical. It’s stuff I can start NOW… it’s really down to earth.
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:20:58
Alex 2012-12-07 02:21:23
@885 Ok, sorry just trying to udnerstand your question
stephen 2012-12-07 02:21:33
yeah , i am not new to 12 step stuff but feel like i actually can walk into a sex meeting i dont think i can talk at 1st … dunno though
Alex 2012-12-07 02:21:42
@Scott, thanks, I was just writing up what was working for me
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:21:53
well i am a guy but i like to bond with men non sexually
Alex 2012-12-07 02:22:57
@Stephen, yes it is scary first time around, but it really is not. Most of people there are normal married men and women who just try to do the right thing. There are way more creeps in other places
Scott 2012-12-07 02:23:44
@885, I’ve also struggled connecting with men. My struggle is with homosexuality, not that I’ve had sex with a guy, but I’ve had a difficult go at connecting meaningfully
Alex 2012-12-07 02:23:49
@885 I understand, connecting with people is hard and takes practice. That is why I recommend conceling, 12 step programs, and other social groups. You really do have to force yourself at first, but with practice you get better at it. LIke anything else
Alex 2012-12-07 02:24:35
Most of us, so called pornography addicts, have a hard time connecting to people
Scott 2012-12-07 02:24:55
@Alex, good point
Alex 2012-12-07 02:25:04
It’s usually goes hand to hand, at least connecting to people at true emotional level
Alex 2012-12-07 02:25:17
Like some can put up a nice fake front, but still feel empty inside
stephen 2012-12-07 02:25:39
i know its important for me to share with another person , for years ive looked and paid for self help programs because it was anonymous
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:25:39
Alex will SAA help me?
steve 2012-12-07 02:25:44
before when i didnt really have a desire to change. It was with my church, and was very informative but i think since i have a desire to cahnge now, more so thatn ever, i should do it again. its free so why not?
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:26:22
my last message
Alex 2012-12-07 02:26:26
@885 I do, otherwise I wouldn’t reommend it.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:26:48
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:26:51
hey i posted something but it did not work
Alex 2012-12-07 02:27:04
Sorry, must be a bug, what did you say?
stephen 2012-12-07 02:27:11
i actually know a councilor who can help me but hes my old aa sponsor , he knows me inside out except for this addiction .. i might speak to him about it .. i just need to pluck up the courage
Scott 2012-12-07 02:27:41
@stephen, personally once I began to really open up with people I trusted the entire dynamic of my struggle changed. The masks fell off and they were able to support me in ways I never imagined.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:27:58
@Stephen Yes, I think this would be a great idea
Alex 2012-12-07 02:28:27
We are only as sick as our secrets, as they say in AA
stephen 2012-12-07 02:28:33
yeah , thanks , me too
stephen 2012-12-07 02:28:49
aha , i said that the other night lol
Alex 2012-12-07 02:29:09
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:29:34
yes it was a bug
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:29:41
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:30:16
i am 4 days i/net prn free
Scott 2012-12-07 02:30:38
@Alex, I would be interested to hear what you think is the solution to the worldwide pornography problem. If porn is so damaging how do we turn back the tide?
stephen 2012-12-07 02:30:45
well its been great being able to talk with you , im going to bed , 2,30am , thanks Alex for spending some time with us and for the awesome site … stephen
Alex 2012-12-07 02:31:29
@Stephen, thanks for staying up so late (probably not a good idea) nice talking to you too. Good night!
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:31:42
Alex do you think it is creepy what i feel?
stephen 2012-12-07 02:31:47
guest 885 well done pal me too keep in there feed the right wolf x
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:32:26
Alex 2012-12-07 02:32:36
@Scott, I don’t have a solution, I think it will become a much bigger problem, before it will start getting better. Right now the society is in denial, it will take a lot of undeniable statistic to get them to wake up.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:33:06
@885 Not at all, I did not see anything creepy coming from you, unless there was something in those messages that didn’t post
Scott 2012-12-07 02:33:19
@Alex, sort of like how smoking cigarettes was so acceptable back in the day, and is now looked down upon.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:33:26
@885 Just kidding, I think you are just like the rest of us, nothing strange
Alex 2012-12-07 02:33:36
@Scott yes, exactly
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:33:52
haha not really i have a normal desier to bond iwth men but due to porn some men only want sex
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:34:27
i truly believe though porn does change the wya we look at each other
Alex 2012-12-07 02:34:40
@885 Sure I have a desire to bond with other people, nothing wrong with that at all, it is wrong when you don’t have that desire
Scott 2012-12-07 02:34:40
Alex 2012-12-07 02:34:59
@885 It does
Guest_235 2012-12-07 02:35:05
Our society has become hyper sexualized and porn alientates us from others.
steve 2012-12-07 02:35:09
do you think it would be a good idea to tell my friends about my addiction. i have thought about that and cant make up my mind.
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:35:47
i agree with guess 235
Alex 2012-12-07 02:35:59
@Steve, not sure. Our society is not really ready to accept that. I’ve told some of my close friends and family but that is about it.
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:36:12
i agree with alex
Alex 2012-12-07 02:36:15
I agree with 235 too
Scott 2012-12-07 02:36:21
@235, I hope that becomes an undeniable statistic sooner rather than later! The **** we’ve all been through to get free from addiction… I don’t want another generation to have to experience this
Alex 2012-12-07 02:36:24
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:36:25
telling others one must be careful
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:36:28
it is a taboo
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:36:30
steve 2012-12-07 02:36:59
okay . thanks.
Guest_235 2012-12-07 02:37:20
Transparency and full disclosure sure worked for me. I told my familly and my wife’s family and that way we both got their support
Alex 2012-12-07 02:37:22
Yes, I think a good recovery environment as 12 step group or religious group is a much better place to open up. That way everybody is on the same page an nobody will judge you.
Scott 2012-12-07 02:37:43
@steve, at the same time, I gotta emphasize (again) how for me opening up was a major and necessary part of my healing. But I trusted the people enough to do it, I wouldn’t tell just anyone.
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:38:24
i iwll keep you guys infomred how i am going via this medium i have been free 4 days i plan to be more free i cancelled my home internet that will help me as there will no be any tempting object when i feel stressed or lonley
Guest_235 2012-12-07 02:38:33
I agree Scott.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:38:39
@Scott, I agree 100% opening up is a must, but be very careful who you open up to. Make sure that that friend can handle it.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:39:00
@885, are you on our forum yet?
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:39:30
Scott 2012-12-07 02:39:34
@885, proud of you for cancelling your home internet, man. I’ve taken similar measures and it ain’t easy.
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:39:44
but i need to find out my password again
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:40:09
Scott thanks it took me many embarrssing moments and a lot of prayers
Guest_235 2012-12-07 02:40:11
drastic measures are needed in this battle
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:40:25
Alex do i need to post in the forum?
Scott 2012-12-07 02:40:34
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:40:35
thanks Gues 235
Alex 2012-12-07 02:40:43
@885 don’t need to, I though it might be a good idea
Scott 2012-12-07 02:41:35
@Alex, do you still practice ERP?
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:41:44
Alex I think it is a *** idea too…I will do soon
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:41:57
like for accountability etc
Alex 2012-12-07 02:43:05
@Scott, not really. I do it sometimes when I get triggered. It is a really good tool in early stages, but later it becomes much more about just knowing what you want in life I guess, and remembering it/ keep reminding yourself…
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:43:33
WEll Alex thanks for this your time and the others keep up the fight in unity we stand against the fight of porn addiction
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:43:44
Good night all
steve 2012-12-07 02:44:06
thanks guys. i will choose who i tell wisely. i think it will help me to some degree. i feel like porn has made me so unopen about everthing and it has made me not really want to socialize with anyone, especially big groups. i am content being by myself
Alex 2012-12-07 02:44:11
@885 Good night
Scott 2012-12-07 02:44:19
Cool, I figured it was more of early stages. One problem I’m having is what to focus on as a good trigger, without getting too aroused. You said thinking about your computer helped. What sort of other things could I ‘imagine’ without crossing a line?
Scott 2012-12-07 02:44:33
@885, See ya man! keep it up!
Alex 2012-12-07 02:44:42
Guest_885 2012-12-07 02:44:44
Alex 2012-12-07 02:45:01
The whole point of ERP is so you will not get triggered as easily as you used to
Guest_235 2012-12-07 02:45:01
Alex, I too would like to thank you. Your course is helping me a great deal!
Alex 2012-12-07 02:45:12
Once you reached that point, ERP is no longer as effective
Alex 2012-12-07 02:45:29
@235 I am really glad to hear that!
Guest_235 2012-12-07 02:46:05
I’m sharing some of your resources with a group of men who are struggling with porn and sexual addiction
Alex 2012-12-07 02:46:26
@235 Thank you!
Alex 2012-12-07 02:46:40
@Scott, did I answer your question?
Scott 2012-12-07 02:47:10
@Alex, sort of. Are you saying I shouldn’t get too ‘hot and bothered’ when practicing ERP? Just a little increased heart rate is ok?
Alex 2012-12-07 02:47:20
Scott 2012-12-07 02:47:25
ok, great! that helps a lot
Alex 2012-12-07 02:47:37
You know, when I got into re covery it was so easy for me to get triggered
Guest_235 2012-12-07 02:47:45
good night all!
Scott 2012-12-07 02:47:56
@235, See ya!
Alex 2012-12-07 02:48:14
I could see an image of girl, and before I know it spend hours wathcing porn. That is where ERP is helpful, to break this bond.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:48:22
@235 Good night, thanks for stopping by
Scott 2012-12-07 02:48:59
@Alex, that is really good. I made myself 40 motivational statements and I have a stop watch to count my pulse. I’d sort of tried and given up on it, but I’m going to take another crack at it
Scott 2012-12-07 02:52:47
Alright! I’m signing off, thanks so much Alex… you are a true inspiration. I hope you do more of these chats.
Alex 2012-12-07 02:52:55
@Scott It’s good to do it for 30 days or so consistantly, just to get practice
Alex 2012-12-07 02:53:04
After that just on as needed basis is good
Scott 2012-12-07 02:53:06
ok, will push for the 30 days
Scott 2012-12-07 02:53:49
See you @steve, @tom, @107, *** bless you guys! Never stop fighting!
Alex 2012-12-07 02:53:53
30 days is just a number, if you don’t feel like you need don’t do it. As always I wish you to find what works fo ryou
Scott 2012-12-07 02:54:02
that was G O D.. not a swear
Alex 2012-12-07 02:54:38
Lol, sorry about G O D being blocked, I’ll fix it.
steve 2012-12-07 02:54:56
Thank you all for the input. And Good Night!!!!!
Tom 2012-12-07 02:55:37
I’m haviing struggles with ERP
Alex 2012-12-07 02:55:55
Alex 2012-12-07 02:56:07
@Tom, whats up?
Tom 2012-12-07 02:56:48
I’ve been practicing it but a couple of times it went too far
Alex 2012-12-07 02:57:03
What do you mean?
Tom 2012-12-07 02:57:58
It stimilated my primitive brain to focus my emotional brain to take over
Alex 2012-12-07 02:58:21
What were you doing to do that though?
Tom 2012-12-07 02:59:35
I was masturbating to get the “juices ” flowing
Alex 2012-12-07 03:01:17
Definitely not a good idea
Alex 2012-12-07 03:01:23
I don’t believe I ever suggested that.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:01:30
At the best imagining yourself masturbating
Alex 2012-12-07 03:01:40
Even that is probably too far
Alex 2012-12-07 03:01:48
May be just imagine yourself wanting to masturbate
Tom 2012-12-07 03:02:44
I know that now but but have stopped ERP becuse it scares me
Alex 2012-12-07 03:05:08
@Tom, it is a common mistake
Alex 2012-12-07 03:05:30
I am not sure why though, I tried very hard to communicate to avoid that. But in any case, I am glad we got that figured out.
Tom 2012-12-07 03:08:54
i guess I need to go back and review the ERP procedure
Guest_482 2012-12-07 03:09:09
Guest_482 2012-12-07 03:09:20
I found that aceptance actually helps to stop
Alex 2012-12-07 03:09:25
Well, if you think like it will be helpful. ERP is not for everybody, and I am not an authority but it worked for me
Alex 2012-12-07 03:09:31
Guest_482 2012-12-07 03:09:53
I found this site when I got really bad and I started paying for those webcams.
Guest_482 2012-12-07 03:10:08
It helped me a lotnot ot do it as much
Guest_482 2012-12-07 03:10:29
I also recommend telling someone and trying to get them to help you stop to.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:11:11
Thanks 482, I agree
Tom 2012-12-07 03:13:00
I’ve been listening to a tape by Jeff Caven and it’s really cool. He let’s no holees barred about letting God’s love fill the voids in our lives
Alex 2012-12-07 03:14:29
Never heard of Jeff Caven, but I am glad it is helping
Alex 2012-12-07 03:14:34
he is that is, his tapes
Tom 2012-12-07 03:15:58
Yes I’m a very religious man & this porn addivtion is separating me form His love
Guest_991 2012-12-07 03:16:28
Hi im in love with a porn addict
Alex 2012-12-07 03:16:34
Well, this addiction is one of the biggest struggle that religious men face.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:16:36
Alex 2012-12-07 03:16:39
Tom 2012-12-07 03:17:43
I know that am and convicted to eliminate it from my life
Guest_991 2012-12-07 03:18:00
we’ve been living together for a year. At first I wasnt sure but when your in a new relationship and a man sleeps next to you every night and doesnt touch you ..well you begin to question it
Alex 2012-12-07 03:19:30
Yes, 991 sorry to hear that.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:19:54
Overuse of Porngoraphy tends to have that effect
Alex 2012-12-07 03:20:02
Did you confront him about it yet?
Guest_991 2012-12-07 03:20:59
so i have tried every way with confrontation. At least now he doesnt try to blame me saying its my jealousy and he doesn’t blame ED anymore
Guest_991 2012-12-07 03:21:11
he just gives no response
Alex 2012-12-07 03:21:45
I c, why do you chose to stay in the relationship?
Tom 2012-12-07 03:22:11
911 I know what you are facing. I’m married and my wife feels that way but I’following this program to find the right wolf & it is slowing making a break through for our relationship
Alex 2012-12-07 03:24:38
Well, I guess it’s just you and I Tom
Tom 2012-12-07 03:24:52
Well Alex its just you and me thanks for all you help. It’s been wonderfulfor me
Alex 2012-12-07 03:25:16
Alex 2012-12-07 03:25:51
I think this chat session is coming to the end. It was nice talking to you. I am glad that you are fighting to better yourself. I wish you and your wife all of the best!
Tom 2012-12-07 03:26:27
As it says in Exodus 2 when moses found the burning bush — this program is my burning bush!!!!!!!!!!!
Alex 2012-12-07 03:27:27
Thanks Tom, really glad to hear that.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:27:40
Alright, have a good night. Thanks for coming over.
Tom 2012-12-07 03:27:54
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:34:09
i missed it
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:34:16
my computer froze
Alex 2012-12-07 03:34:22
@991 if you come back. I am sorry if I offended you, I wasn’t suggesting that you should leave, but I think it is helpful if you are willing to leave, unless he is willing to get better
Alex 2012-12-07 03:34:53
875, I am still here for a few minutes, if you need me to be
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:35:04
i have pretty much told him that
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:35:23
he is willing to lose me rather than admit he has a problem I think
Alex 2012-12-07 03:35:54
Well, may be he should lose you than. There are some men worse standing by with, and some are not worth it.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:36:31
If he is so selfish that he can’t see the damage that he is doing to you, than I wish you to find a better man
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:37:20
I think so to I cant get him to express feelings or admit to anything.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:38:00
Alex 2012-12-07 03:38:25
The best thing that women can do to a men, is to tell them, you either get help or I am leaving, and they need to meen it.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:38:44
Than some men chose to fight for their relationship, and some men chose their addiction.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:38:59
I can’t tell which choice he’ll make, but I think you’ll have to find out sooner or later.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:39:11
I have to go now, you can always email me if you need more help.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:39:20
I wish you best of luck and to stay strong!
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:39:33
hes a truck driver and i have suspicions of him being with strange woman. He swears he hasnt but he used to swear he didnt look at porn he knows he cant lie about porn anymore
Alex 2012-12-07 03:40:28
It is possible
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:40:32
yah im going to give him that choice and see what happens. Ive been so afraid to do so. Thinking Ill lose him but I realize he is the one losing not me
Alex 2012-12-07 03:40:43
I think so
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:40:43
thanks for staying alex
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:40:52
I needed to spout a bit
Alex 2012-12-07 03:41:22
I don’t know you, but you sound like a good faithful woman, if he doesn’t chose to fight for you, I know you deserve better than that.
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:42:29
I have been faithful and its been hard. And he has voiced that but I dont think he will fight for me.
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:42:51
I dont think he will admit to anyone thats why I left either
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:43:47
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:44:44
i needed someone who understands family and friends just say leave him they never suggested giving altimatum
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:45:14
and tell tom thanks
Alex 2012-12-07 03:46:23
Thank you 875, sorry I have to go/
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:46:40
thats ok just glad i found the website
Alex 2012-12-07 03:46:51
I think it is better to give him a chance, a choice, and if he is not willing to work for your relationship, thank you know it will be right to leave him.
Alex 2012-12-07 03:47:01
Thank you, I am glad you did too!
Alex 2012-12-07 03:47:09
Have a good night!
Guest_875 2012-12-07 03:47:15
Guest_396 2012-12-07 04:44:49
P.S. Recommended Resources:
- Sex Addicts Anonymous
I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
- Mindful Habit Course by Coach Craig
Great advice from a great person.
- Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
- Internet Accountability Software
Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
- Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
- Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
- Free Consultation from Coach Craig
Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.