You are struggling to overcome your addiction. But despite your efforts, you always seem to end up returning to addictive behaviors.
You have tried white knuckling it, using sheer willpower to push through cravings.
You have tried twelve step groups.
You have tried getting rid of social media, filtering software, and prayer. You have tried justifying your behavior.
But have you considered that you might just be stuck due to the constant influence of your beliefs?
The truth is…beliefs drive actions. Our most powerful beliefs fuel powerful emotions and behaviors.
If you have any hope of overcoming your addiction, examining your belief system is going to be part of it.
The following is a list of beliefs systems that may be fueling your addictive behavior:
- Normal sexual behaviors and desires are wrong
- I am alone and no one will meet my needs if I do not.
- I must give in to sexual urges and desires they are too powerful for me to resist.
- I am worthless, unlovable.
- I can only trust myself to meet my needs and this is the only way.
- My sexual needs are my most important needs.
- I am powerless to control my life.
- I am a dirty pervert.
- Others exist to meet my needs because I deserve it.
- Others entice me and I cannot help myself.
- Others are here for my pleasure.
- If no one sees, it does not matter.
- If no one knows it cannot hurt them.
- I cannot live without sexual release.
- I cannot live without my addiction.
- I am not hurting anyone by watching porn.
- It is nobody’s business what I do with my own body
- I am not capable of handling my own life.
- I am unattractive, stupid, ugly, unlovable…
- If I successfully overcome addiction, it will mean I no longer have strong sexual desires or urges.
- My recovery is going to be easy or should be if I am doing the right things.
- I have no power to meet my needs in a healthy way…I am a victim of the past, and circumstances.
- Porn and the sex industry are not harmful to women or society as a whole.
- Even if I make progress, addiction is for life and my identity will always largely be influenced by the fact that I have an addiction.
- Life should not be difficult for me, and no one else has the struggles I do.
- All of the sexual desires and needs I have must be wrong because I struggle with addiction.
- Repressing my sexual needs will help me conquer addiction.
I could go on about the belief systems that fuel addiction, but you get the picture. Which belief system has fed your addiction? At Feed the Right Wolf, we believe that Awareness, Accountability and Action help overcome addiction. Examining your belief systems in the context of coaching is a great way to begin cultivating awareness and tackling your addiction.