Change happens all the time.
In fact, the only really constant in our world is change.
There are times in our lives when we really want to change. Whether our focus is exercising, dieting, relationship, or work-related, there are times when we recognize a need to change some aspect of our lives and we set out to make improvements. You may be at this site because you’re ready to change your habits related to sex and pornography. That’s a great first step.
To create the change we want, we craft a plan and start doing our best to make changes. But very often, the changes we accomplish are short-lived. After just a few weeks or maybe months, you find yourself back in the same unhealthy patterns that you’ve been trying to break free from.
Why is it so hard to create long-term, sustainable change in our lives? Why is it that we find it so hard to change certain aspects while others seem relatively easy to change?
While there is no one answer to these questions, there are some noticeable gaps in the way that many people approach change. As a certified Mindful Habit Coach, it’s my job to help others identify these gaps and use the tools of the Mindful Habit System to close them. Over the next couple of blog posts, I want to explore some specific gaps that prevent us from creating long-term change.
But first, let me say this – I’ve been there. I been down the road of failed changed many times. I have tried over and over create healthy, positive change in my life for years, only to fall victim to relapsing into the same old habitual patters. So I know what you’re dealing with. And I know that the perspectives I share here and teach my clients are not untested theories but rather are concepts and tools that I’ve used to create positive, sustainable change.
The first step, I am convinced, in creating the change you want in your life is elevating your standards.
I often say that my life changed in a single day – the day I decided what I would no longer accept in my life. While the benefits of that decision took several weeks to begin to show the first signs of fruit, the change that took place that day is where it all began.
I raised the bar for what I expected of myself, of my life.
I identified things that I would absolutely no longer accept as part of my life.
Of course, there is much more to long-term change than simply making a decision to elevate your standards, but any change that lasts must begin here.
As long as you will accept the behavior you want to change, any change will be short-term. You must get to the point where you will, under no circumstances, accept that behavior. Once it’s no longer an option, you have to start identifying the reasons under that behavior and create (and tweak over and over again) a strategy for change.
Long-term, life-altering change is possible with the right perspective and approach.
But it all starts with elevating your standards.
Expect more from yourself.