Frequently Asked Questions Archives
Should I Start a New Relationship with a Recovering Porn Addict?
Saturday, June 2nd, 2012 at
5:42 pm
Comments (10)
Alex:
I have a question, please. I have been dating a man for a couple of months. We are both older and previously married. The relationship seemed to be going much slower than I wanted, and he recently told me why: he is a recovered porn addict and wanted to tell me so I could make a decision as to whether or not to continue our relationship.
I have attended a couple of lectures on how pornography affects the addict and those around him/her, and understand it on the surface only. I even feel Read more [...]
Married to a Sex Addict: What Does This Mean for Your Marriage?
Monday, February 6th, 2012 at
3:29 am
If you have just discovered that your spouse suffers from sex addiction, you probably have a lot of questions. "Why did he do this?" "Is there something wrong with me?" "Should I be angry?" "What does this mean for our marriage?"
Your spouse's sex addiction does not necessarily mean that your marriage is over, or that you can never regain the intimacy and affection you previously had. If you are both willing to work and forgive, you can make your marriage strong and happy again. Read more [...]
Is Pornography Mostly Harmless? (No!)
Thursday, February 2nd, 2012 at
5:42 am
An unfortunately popular misconception in our culture is that pornography use is a normal, harmless habit.
If you are a porn user, you may be relying on this idea to rationalize or justify your habit to yourself and your family (if you are a recovering addict, you may have done so earlier in your journey, and you already know better). This misinformation is one of the things keeping you trapped by your pornography habit. Please read this.
If you are the spouse of an addict, your partner Read more [...]
Why Does Your Spouse Use Pornography?
Thursday, January 26th, 2012 at
2:50 am
One of the first and hardest things we face as the spouses of sex addicts is the struggle to understand why. Why would he hurt me this way? Why did he turn to porn when I was always there for him? Why was I not enough? Why does my spouse use pornography?
That is a complex question, but it is important to understand that your partner's actions had nothing to do with you. This was in no way your fault; no shortcoming of yours drove your spouse to seek pleasure elsewhere; and there Read more [...]
Does Your Porn-Addicted Partner Still Love You?
Friday, January 20th, 2012 at
6:02 am
Pornography use does not necessarily mean that your partner no longer loves you, or that he or she no longer finds you attractive.
Remember Tiger Woods' wife, the gorgeous blond supermodel? Remember Sandra Bullock, one of America's most adored actresses? They were both very beautiful, vibrant, successful women, and their husbands still cheated, repeatedly. Clearly, this infidelity had nothing to do with either woman's attractiveness; your spouse's infidelity has nothing to do with your attractiveness, Read more [...]
The Great Debate: The Dangers of Self-Stimulation
Tuesday, November 29th, 2011 at
3:51 pm
This is one of those things I've struggled with myself for years. Is masturbation harmful?
Technically you would think if you can do it without lusting or fantasizing about another person, or do it without looking at porn, then you would think it wouldn't be so harmful. However, for men especially, this is nearly impossible.
In my case, I have managed this only in cases where I went several weeks or months without pleasuring myself. If you can do that then it wouldn't seem "sinful" as most Read more [...]
Protected: How to Handle Triggers or Mini – ERP
Tuesday, November 9th, 2010 at
2:09 am
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I hope you were able to record your own statements of truth and that you are continuing your ERP practice.
Today, we are going to talk about a quick method that you can use to handle a trigger when a full ERP practice is not available. I call it mini-ERP.
Mini-ERP
Mini-ERP is a stripped down version of a full ERP practice and is very useful, since you can't stop and measure your pulse every time you get triggered while driving your car or walking on a busy street.
Mini-ERP consists of breathing, Read more [...]
Protected: How to use ERP Properly to Change Your Emotional Brain for Good
Sunday, November 7th, 2010 at
1:57 am
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In the last chapter, you completed your first ERP exercise. If you haven't done so, I encourage you to do it now.
The common mistake that people make is to think that the ERP is a tool that they can use to avoid acting out.
In actuality, it is the complete opposite. ERP is the tool that you must use consistently and systematically when you do not feel like acting out. Let me explain.
Remember our discussion about the triune brain model, and how the emotional brain can take over our Read more [...]
How the Human Brain Works
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010 at
12:36 am
The triune brain model was proposed by Dr. Paul MacLean in the 1950s. It states that humans don't just have one brain, but rather a layer of 3 brains that have each evolved on top of the other over the course of years: reptilian brain, mammalian brain, and primate brain.
The Reptilian Brain
This brain is the first to be developed. It is responsible for autonomic bodily functions such as heartbeat, breathing, and temperature control. It is also responsible for the most important human Read more [...]
How Long Does It Take To Recover From Porn Addiction?
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010 at
5:52 am
One question people are commonly asking is "How long does it take to overcome porn addiction?"There are really two stages to the process.First stage is breaking out of the obsessive-compulsive cycle and that stage takes anywhere from 30 to 90 days. And the reason for it is because it takes about 30 to 90 days for a person to form a habit or to learn a new behavior and make it a habit.Second stage of overcoming pornography addiction is relapse prevention, and this stage is an ongoing process throughout Read more [...]
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