Sex Addiction Help

Hello Dear Visitor

  • Do you struggle to control some part of your sexuality?
  • Find yourself wondering, why did I just do that again?
  • Feel that you constantly have to cover your tracks to avoid being caught?
  • Afraid of anybody learning about your secrets?
  • Wonder if there is a better way to live your life?

I struggled with all of the above and wrote a book where I outlined the things that helped me.

It’s Free and It’s Online

This is the book that I wish I had when I first realized that something was wrong in my life, and didn’t know where to turn for help.

Start Reading

Why Feed The Right Wolf?

The name for this site was inspired by an old Cherokee tale of Two Wolves.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Who Am I?

My name is Alex and I am a recovering sex addict. I have been in recovery since early 2008, and while my recovery is not perfect, I was able to abstain from watching pornography for over 99% of my time. Additionally, although I do not recommend this for single people, I have not masturbated since January 2009, CHOOSING my wife as the only source for my sexual experience.

I was raised in a regular home with two normal parents. Like many teenage boys I started watching pornography when I was around 10 years old. I was very isolated from other kids and for a large part of my life pornography was my only “true friend”. I didn’t know that pornography could have a negative effect and viewed it as a healthy way to have fun and deal with my emotions.

My Pornography Use Continued to Escalate

Over the years, my use of pornography continued to escalate. I thought I would be able to stop once I get into a relationship with a real woman but realized that it was not the case. High stresses of life, combined with anonymity, availability, and accessibility of pornography over the high-speed internet seemed to have taken my pornography use completely out of control. It went on until about three years ago. By that point my sex addiction was completely out of control. I would spend up to 8 hours every day watching pornography and masturbating. In order to make time for my habit I would skip sleep, work, and even time with my family. I felt guilty, shameful, worthless, and hopeless.

Finding a Solution for Sex Addiction

After a while I simply couldn’t deny that I had a problem. I swore to myself “I would do whatever it takes to find a way out”. I’ve dedicated my undivided attention towards finding a solution for my sex addiction. I’ve read every addiction book that I could get my hands on, until I finally found a technique called, Exposure and Response Prevention, that allowed me to see the first glimpses of light. I then proceeded to read even more books, began seeing a therapist, purchased a few recovery programs, and began attending a 12 step meeting for sex addiction.

Combination of Different Methods Brings the Optimal Result

Through my experience in recovery, I noticed that many people were too fixated on one particular approach. Some people relied solely on group therapy, some on religious programs, some on cognitive therapy, and some on eastern philosophy. Yet in my experience, a combination of different methods appeared to be bringing the ideal result. I’ve shared some of my ideas with my friends in recovery and received a very positive response. That is what encouraged me to develop this site. I’ve summarized the most important information that allowed me to stop sex addiction in 23 short and fun to read articles – I call it the “Free Recovery Course”.

In the Free Recovery Course You Will Discover…

  1. A chemical process that takes place in your brain causing you to get addicted
  2. The addictive cycle that your body goes through and how to break out of it
  3. How the human brain works and why sometimes you lose control of your actions
  4. Four simple exercises to strengthen your brain
  5. How to create your sexual recovery plan
  6. How to control your cravings
  7. An important strategy to help you beat your addiction once and for all
  8. How your beliefs are causing you to suffer
  9. Seven beliefs that were keeping me trapped
  10. One big lesson that I learned from my relapse and what you can do to avoid my mistakes
  11. Two very important tools that can magnify your recovery
  12. Four things that you CAN do to help you stay sober for the rest of your life

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Frequently Asked Question:

What do I have to pay for this information?

We offer a combination of free and paid services. This site was design to offer free help to any person struggling with sex addiction, and we are staying true to this mission. Over time however, increasing numbers of people have asked for more “hands on” and “personalized” help. That is why we decided to add a coaching element to our site.

Does this information really work?

Every person is different. It has most definitely worked for me. Additionally you can read a lot of positive comments throughout this website. Since we started offering a free recovery course in August of 2010 over four thousand people have signed up for email delivery, and over a hundred thousand people have read the Free Recovery Course on this website. We’ve received no complaints and have been thanked too many times to count.

Why should I listen to you?

Our coaches, are certified and experienced. They are professionals and great at what they do. My only credentials is that I’ve been there. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. English is not my first language, and my educational background is in computer engineering. That being said, most of the information that I share on this site did not come from me directly. Rather it is my collection and interpretation of different approaches and techniques that I learned from many books and training courses offered by people who do have credentials. I like to believe that I did a very good job of putting it all together, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Why should I read your stuff?

Because it would allow you to learn from my mistakes instead of making your own. Note that you don’t have to be addicted to sex to benefit from this site. Most of the information provided is common sense, day-to-day psychology that will allow you to better understand the inner workings of the human mind, and allow you to get a greater control of your life.

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Since this site presents information from a variety of approaches you would be more likely to find something new and effective that could turn your life towards new direction and allow you to enjoy a new level of freedom. This information provided at no additional cost. You have nothing to lose (except for a few minutes of your time) but you have the world to gain.

Last but not least, because by reading this information, commenting on this site, and participating in the forum, you would not only help yourself, but you will also help others. A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. And by giving a bit of your attention towards this site you can make this world a little better. You’ll see that by learning and applying some of the techniques discussed here, you’ll begin to transform your life! And you will be amazed to discover that your transformation will begin to improve the lives of those around you!

Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

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Comments

  1. james c iezzi says

    i like looking at porn and need help ive been married for 6 years and i cant stop please help what do i need to do to stop lookin at porn anyideas

  2. Uncle says

    I confessed the habit to my fiance after over 10yrs addiction. She prayed with me and i felt free. i have actually been free for a full month until i felt complacent about the new freedom and went into it again. now i dont know how to tell her again. and also please send me the pdf format.
    i have also been receivin porn messages in my mail which i find very disturbing. can u advice how i can stop them.
    God bless you.

  3. Mike says

    In the course, I really liked the idea of looking to a higher inspiration (God). It gives you the perspective that there is definitely truth of what is right and wrong; many of us need that. What was really helpful for me was the illustration you gave of how the urge to look a porn first escalates and then lowers over time. With that knowledge, I am breaking old records.

    Thanks for the helpful course!

  4. reality says

    Please don’t listen to this man’s nonsense. This internal demonizing over your own normally developing sex drive will do more harm than good. Masturbating is a private a perfectly normal way to release sexual tension. Masturbating for 8 hours a day is an addiction, maybe brought on by the preposterous claim that we should be ashamed of our bodies.

    Take a look at the Catholic Church’s horrible reputation with child abuse and honestly ask yourself why. There’s a 90% chance you are not asexual, so why force it on yourself? If you understand the difference between sexual abuse and sex, and don’t let masturbation control your life, you have nothing to be ashamed of.

    • Alex says

      Thanks for your comment.

      Perhaps messaging of my site is off and send the wrong message. I am actually not assist masturbation for single people. I am against pornography though, especially graphic and abusive stuff, since there is really nothing natural about that.

      I personally choose to not masturbate, but I am in a healthy sexual relationship with my wife, so its very different.

      • Jake says

        At first I agreed with you but I learned theres a better way, supressing my sexuality brought me alot of pain and misery. I found my own solution. Instead of supressing your sexuality you should people how to manage your porn addiction instead of supressing it. I figured out that the reason I hated porn addiction is because of bad porn. When I watch good normal porn I feel absolutely no regret I feel good during and afterwards. When I watch bad porn I feel like shit afterwards. Im learning to stick to the good porn its tough at times but it beats not masturbating, I have a high sex drive. Supressing any emotion especially sexual emotions is very unhealthy and is the reason why preists become pedofiles. Masturbating without porn is terriable you cant go from porn to no images. How long did you go without porn, did you cave yet?

        The problem isnt porn the problem is hardcore porn.

      • Anonymous says

        Alex what you are doing here is very positive. Congratulations. I have clients who will struggle with this issue and perhaps I can direct them to you for some reading through the 12 step support, pleased to see accountability partnership there. Good name for this process. Hope those for who the program doesn’t suit find their own oath to freedom of choice….. Everything in this life is a choice and we should all feel we have the freedom to choose . I’d love to read the program before I direct folk….. Blessings to all.

    • Michael says

      reality,
      An addiction is when you no longer control something, but that it controls you.

      When you start living your life so you can spend more time soothing your “manhood” than with your family, job, or friends, then you most likely are addicted.

    • Chris. O says

      That’s good advice. Thank you. But what you have just said, These guys help you with. Some pool just don’t have the right guidance. I’m not into religion, but I have tapped into something within my self because of how these people guided me.
      I feel like you have actually helped these guys with your post.
      Cheers.

  5. shadow says

    I’m 16 years old and I started this non-sense in my life when I was 6 YEARS old by starting kissing in the lips of my girl playmates due to the media and I got deeper in these non-sense pornography…So it is a DECADE until now and I want it to stop it…

    Can you help me with my problem… I always avoid watching porn and even in thinking wrong perspective with my people in the society every 3 MONTHS…. I have already did this, not doing lustful ideas WITHIN 3 MONTHS.. Actually I did it two times in this YEAR…. BUT when it’s in the middle of having my 4th MONTH in avoiding these I tend to slip… And sometimes it appears in my dream which triggers me to do again in REALITY… So I can’t even go at 4 Months or even permanently….

    Please can you give me some helpful tools, pages, readings that can give a LIGHT in my dark mind… Like what you have obtain….

    Please could you share to me the process which you have gained the LIGHT in your life….So that I can live a healthy life like yours… Thank you in ADVANCE…

    You can send me messages in my E-mail..

    • Jake says

      Theres nothing wrong with watching porn, you should continue watching it instead of supressing it. Heres a solution. Stay away from the bad hardcore porn and stick to the normal porn. Watch only a couple videos at a time and dont hold back, let it out when it comes.

      Solution= Quick porn sessions with a couple of videos and only watching good porn.

      Before you decide to stop watching porn try my method, its a million times better then suppressing it.

  6. shadow says

    Can you help me with my problem… I always avoid watching porn and even in thinking wrong perspective with my people in the society every THIRD MONTH…. I have already did this, not doing lustful ideas WITHIN 3 MONTHS…. and I can’t even go at 4 Months or even permanently….

    Please can you give me some helpful tools, pages, readings that can give a LIGHT in my dark mind… Like what you have obtain….

    Please could you share to me the process which you have gained the LIGHT in your life….So that I can live a healthy life like yours… Thank you in ADVANCE…

    • Alex says

      I am not sure what you are trying to say, but if it is that you only act out once every 3 month, I think you are in a pretty good shape actually. I have yet to meet anybody who was able to get rid of all problems “permanently”. Do take a look at our free recovery course and our forum. Those are the tools that might help you gain even more control over your life.

      • shadow says

        Well thanks, but I really delete it in my life permanently… And I don’t want to put any boundaries…. Yes your correct I tend to get watching again every three months…

        Also I’am pleased to do the training program and I will do it when I’am tempt again to watch or even have lustful fantasies in my mind…

        Hope you can continue to help me in my problems until I finally remove those harmful things in my mind…

      • shadow says

        Hey Alex, am I going to read those FREE RECOVERY COURSE because at this moment I’am going to print them all and replace it in watching porn….

        Also I’am already interested about God’s plan for me…

        What are the things should I do then after reading and applying FREE RECOVERY COURSE in my life??

        Is there any more tools that can add up..

          • shadow says

            ahh.. ok ok thanks again :D…

            Also please PRAY for ME and those who also wants to seek light in their dark life…

            All I want is to have a better life, just like what you have and what you have receive from God… Even though this is not my real name…

      • Nathan says

        Alex,

        I have signed up to the forums and I have also donated to Feed the Right Wolf, but I haven’t received the PDF version of the course. I can’t download it when I click the relevant link. Can you e-mail a copy to me please?

  7. Nick.s says

    i need an accountability partner. Someone who loves Jesus, devoted to prayer, and can help gain victory over my addiction. If you’re interested, comment back or even better, email me. Thanks

  8. says

    It’s brave of you to talk so openly about your story. As a therapist who works with many who are dealing with various sex addictions, I think that porn addiction is often the one that is the least accepted as a real problem. I went to watch Don Jon recently, and many people were leaving in the middle of it, when it went from being funny to showing some of the painful realities of dealing with such a problem. I think that your willingness to be vulnerable here is one way of helping people learn more about this problem.

  9. Sandy says

    Hi Alex, My husband did the program, with my help. He is not a reader or writer (never has been), & wasn’t keen about doing anything that involved reading or writing, so we took turns reading the articles to each other. And, for the writing parts, I acted as his secretary. My husband dictated to me. It worked out okay. My husband got a lot out of the program & so did I. Lots of good & understandable info. Now, I understand that this program is specifically for the person with the addiction; I get that. However, I wish the program included something tangible for those who are dealing with a supportive spouse in the early days of quitting addiction. I understand that many men are doing the program on their own, without spouse. Other men have never been married, & still others are doing the program because spouse has left them. Every man’s situation is different. I’m only referring to men who have supportive spouses. I think men with supportive spouses need to have some guidelines for how they treat their spouse during the early days of quitting, & vice versa. I really believe that my husband and I could have benefited from knowing how better to deal with each other. I hope I am making myself understood. I know that Feed the Right Wolf recommends other websites to help husbands & wives & we did check some of those out. I was just wishing there was more (about husbands & wives),
    on the Feed the Right Wolf site, written in the vein of Feed the Right Wolf. So, what do you think? Great program; You’re all wonderful, available, & extremely helpful for those who need your help. Thank you so much. Take care, Sandy

    • Alex says

      Thank you Sandy,

      My only credentials is sharing what I’ve been through myself. And while I have some ideas, it is harder for me to understand what spouses are going through and advice them with anything. I might try to write something in the future, just to see if people will resonate with my observations.

      In any case, thank you very much for your advice. It is very helpful, and I will try to incorporate it in one way or another.

      Regards,
      Alex

  10. me says

    alex, beleive me, i am not that old either, it is impossible to tell your parents. Got any other advice for a younger kid?

  11. Sean says

    Alex, I have tried my hardest to destroy my porn addiction but I keep messing up. Last week I found a program that blocks any website that I put on a list, plus I can type in key words and if the website says that word anywhere it does not allow me to view the website. This was great and I finally felt free, however 3 days later I found out that the program only works on Google Chrome, not Internet Explorer. After I found this out I slipped and watched porn again. I cannot find a free program that works on Internet Explorer. I need the program to be free because I am only 14 so I do not have a credit card. I am too ashamed to tell my parents about my addiction so I cannot ask them for money. I even made this website my homepage on Internet Explorer to remind me of my goal. I want to make it an entire year without watching porn. I just recently turned 14 and I was going to try to not watch porn my entire year of being 14, however 2 days later I did it again. What should I do? I wrote notes around my room telling me to stop watching porn and I, being Catholic, even put a cross in front of my computer to try to make me stop. I find that I can usually go without watching porn during the week because I am so busy with school work, but during the weekends I have a lot of spare time and I usually slip up. I have been watching porn for more than half of my life, and now more than ever, I want it to stop. I seriously would give my arms and legs to make it stop. I want this so bad, but whenever a bad thought slips into my head I forget about how bad I want to break my addiction. I want to look at my family without having something to hide. I want to see the world as a free man, and I want to help others to be free from the seemingly indestructible cell that porn puts around us. I want to see the world like you, Alex, I want to be free just like you. And I know that you have a gift. You are a role model to me. I want to feed the right wolf, and I think that you can give me the food to feed it with. This website really helped me but I keep slipping. Thanks for reading this, and thanks for showing me that I am not alone.

    • Alex says

      The program that is free and works for all browsers is K9 filter (google it).

      But you said that you are willing to do anything to get better? What you MUST do, since you are only 14, is to tell your parents. I know it is not easy, but that is what you should do. It will be the best.

      They will help you to identify if any of your behaviors are unhealthy, and will help you to stay accountable.

      Regards,
      Alex

  12. marwa says

    i don’t know how to start
    while writing this comment i feel i’m the worst person on the earth
    i feel that my brain gonna to explode
    i have no one to talk with ,, no one know about my addiction
    i started your recovery course from 14 days & i felt great
    i swore i’ll never back to pornography
    but yesterday i back to these bad stuff and i really don’t how i could do that !!
    i’m afraid .. sad .. hopeless

  13. Bret says

    I highly recommend this program to anyone who wants to overcome this addiction. I have been working for years to overcome this addiction. I have already done many of the things on this program but the one thing that changed everything for me was the breathing exercise. It works! It is amazing how it changes the subconscious mind immediately. To me this was the key. I will be forever grateful for this course. Thank you so much.
    Bret

  14. Andrew says

    Great site for those who really want to break this terrible habit!!
    it doesnt matter if you are religious or not we all share a common ground to break the chains of online pornography!
    dont be afraid to try, dont be afraid to be the person you have always desired to be!!!
    feed the right wolf is the first real site of its kind, this new addiction in our world needs to be highlighted and we all as humans need to stand together and help each other to be free and happy and content with our lives!!
    pornography is not the tame bit of fun it used to be, its damaging and its a “REAL” addiction, dont let anyone tell you otherwise!!!
    if you are unhappy , then checking out this site could make you see that you are not alone and you are not a freak! we have all been tricked by these big porn companies to believe that our porn habits are normal, but the reality is with high speed online porn the shit has truly hit the fan and its destroying our lives!!
    dont be afraid just try this it can only help rather than hurt!!!

    • Anonymous says

      I can see you are in a problem and you have to work hard to get out of this problem. I had the same problem before years but now I am free and I am my self. Get your freedom by avoiding this addiction.

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