Sex Addiction Help

Hello Dear Visitor

  • Do you struggle to control some part of your sexuality?
  • Find yourself wondering, why did I just do that again?
  • Feel that you constantly have to cover your tracks to avoid being caught?
  • Afraid of anybody learning about your secrets?
  • Wonder if there is a better way to live your life?

I struggled with all of the above and wrote a book where I outlined the things that helped me.

It’s Free and It’s Online

This is the book that I wish I had when I first realized that something was wrong in my life, and didn’t know where to turn for help.

Start Reading

Why Feed The Right Wolf?

The name for this site was inspired by an old Cherokee tale of Two Wolves.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

“One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

“The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Who Am I?

My name is Alex and I am a recovering sex addict. I have been in recovery since early 2008, and while my recovery is not perfect, I was able to abstain from watching pornography for over 99% of my time. Additionally, although I do not recommend this for single people, I have not masturbated since January 2009, CHOOSING my wife as the only source for my sexual experience.

I was raised in a regular home with two normal parents. Like many teenage boys I started watching pornography when I was around 10 years old. I was very isolated from other kids and for a large part of my life pornography was my only “true friend”. I didn’t know that pornography could have a negative effect and viewed it as a healthy way to have fun and deal with my emotions.

My Pornography Use Continued to Escalate

Over the years, my use of pornography continued to escalate. I thought I would be able to stop once I get into a relationship with a real woman but realized that it was not the case. High stresses of life, combined with anonymity, availability, and accessibility of pornography over the high-speed internet seemed to have taken my pornography use completely out of control. It went on until about three years ago. By that point my sex addiction was completely out of control. I would spend up to 8 hours every day watching pornography and masturbating. In order to make time for my habit I would skip sleep, work, and even time with my family. I felt guilty, shameful, worthless, and hopeless.

Finding a Solution for Sex Addiction

After a while I simply couldn’t deny that I had a problem. I swore to myself “I would do whatever it takes to find a way out”. I’ve dedicated my undivided attention towards finding a solution for my sex addiction. I’ve read every addiction book that I could get my hands on, until I finally found a technique called, Exposure and Response Prevention, that allowed me to see the first glimpses of light. I then proceeded to read even more books, began seeing a therapist, purchased a few recovery programs, and began attending a 12 step meeting for sex addiction.

Combination of Different Methods Brings the Optimal Result

Through my experience in recovery, I noticed that many people were too fixated on one particular approach. Some people relied solely on group therapy, some on religious programs, some on cognitive therapy, and some on eastern philosophy. Yet in my experience, a combination of different methods appeared to be bringing the ideal result. I’ve shared some of my ideas with my friends in recovery and received a very positive response. That is what encouraged me to develop this site. I’ve summarized the most important information that allowed me to stop sex addiction in 23 short and fun to read articles – I call it the “Free Recovery Course”.

In the Free Recovery Course You Will Discover…

  1. A chemical process that takes place in your brain causing you to get addicted
  2. The addictive cycle that your body goes through and how to break out of it
  3. How the human brain works and why sometimes you lose control of your actions
  4. Four simple exercises to strengthen your brain
  5. How to create your sexual recovery plan
  6. How to control your cravings
  7. An important strategy to help you beat your addiction once and for all
  8. How your beliefs are causing you to suffer
  9. Seven beliefs that were keeping me trapped
  10. One big lesson that I learned from my relapse and what you can do to avoid my mistakes
  11. Two very important tools that can magnify your recovery
  12. Four things that you CAN do to help you stay sober for the rest of your life

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Frequently Asked Question:

What do I have to pay for this information?

We offer a combination of free and paid services. This site was design to offer free help to any person struggling with sex addiction, and we are staying true to this mission. Over time however, increasing numbers of people have asked for more “hands on” and “personalized” help. That is why we decided to add a coaching element to our site.

Does this information really work?

Every person is different. It has most definitely worked for me. Additionally you can read a lot of positive comments throughout this website. Since we started offering a free recovery course in August of 2010 over four thousand people have signed up for email delivery, and over a hundred thousand people have read the Free Recovery Course on this website. We’ve received no complaints and have been thanked too many times to count.

Why should I listen to you?

Our coaches, are certified and experienced. They are professionals and great at what they do. My only credentials is that I’ve been there. I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. English is not my first language, and my educational background is in computer engineering. That being said, most of the information that I share on this site did not come from me directly. Rather it is my collection and interpretation of different approaches and techniques that I learned from many books and training courses offered by people who do have credentials. I like to believe that I did a very good job of putting it all together, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Why should I read your stuff?

Because it would allow you to learn from my mistakes instead of making your own. Note that you don’t have to be addicted to sex to benefit from this site. Most of the information provided is common sense, day-to-day psychology that will allow you to better understand the inner workings of the human mind, and allow you to get a greater control of your life.

Click Here to Start Recovery!

Since this site presents information from a variety of approaches you would be more likely to find something new and effective that could turn your life towards new direction and allow you to enjoy a new level of freedom. This information provided at no additional cost. You have nothing to lose (except for a few minutes of your time) but you have the world to gain.

Last but not least, because by reading this information, commenting on this site, and participating in the forum, you would not only help yourself, but you will also help others. A journey of thousand miles begins with a single step. And by giving a bit of your attention towards this site you can make this world a little better. You’ll see that by learning and applying some of the techniques discussed here, you’ll begin to transform your life! And you will be amazed to discover that your transformation will begin to improve the lives of those around you!

Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Mindful Habit Course by Coach Craig
    Great advice from a great person.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

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Comments

  1. Zaap says

    One piece of advice : sign up for the newsletter on this site, it really helps to receive daily emails for the first weeks.

    • Alex says

      You are most definitely not. Check out sex addicts anonymous, they have groups for women only with a sizable attendance.

      Regards,
      Alex

  2. hassan says

    hii…i am 18 years old male .. i have been masturbating since i was 11..all this time i was watching porn..and when i tried to stp matserbating i stop for a week the i go back even worse…and i cant get a girl friend(i dont mean i cant I meen even if i get one i will not be able to have sex with her bacause I live in eastern community so i have Religious and legal obligations that prevents me doing that).. and i will not be able to get married for at least 5 years…i am a competitive swimmer and i think it afects my performance badly…I also have read on your home page that you dont recommend this recovery programme for single people….anyway i will be so greatful if you gave a piece of advice to act the right thing

  3. Guest says

    I have recently finished 30 days recovery course and I can highly recommend it for everyone who is also fighting with P addiction. It really helped me realize what I want with my life. I feel that after 8 years I live again. Every day I was looking forward to see another part of the course. I feel more happy now and if anyone told me that I can be sober more than 3 days I wouldn’t belive. I also thank for the tips about books, especially Treating Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools for Recovery. This one is really great, clearly written and helpful. Thank you Alex for this site and also to everyone who share their stories. I trust it saved my life, though I have a long way ahead. Lets feed the right wolf.

  4. Alex says

    Wow… I really appreciate your work and your time that you spared for me. You’ve really done a great job and this course has gone on well. But most of all, one thing we should remember is to put our God in Heaven on our side in all thay we do. Thanks

  5. Anonymous says

    There is a solution to porn. Do and don’ts helps a little but the cure is knowing the truth about it.
    Concept here is …Destroy the entire enemy’s camp but not to take cover from his arrows only.
    One evil trap about porn is telling yourself that you are not addicted or you can/will fight it sometimes in future by yourself. That is a lie! The truth is that it will become or already is your master. Meaning, you are under its desires whenever you are exposed to or enviroment that triggers… You think to yourself that “tommorrow I can control”. An advice from God is …”do not be mastered by anything” 1 cori 6:12

    No one becomes ‘good person’ by doing or not doing something; but by accepting what Jesus did at the cross.It is not about our actions but Jesus’ life in man (God’s kingdom which came to us through Christ ) .Result is we receive power to overcome any type of ungodly force. Even some christians struggle with it but there is hope.God gave up everything to win man’s life, His love is amazing. Do not feel condemned, just come to Him and receive this love.
    Have this knowledge..”Your body is for the Lord” 1 cori. 6:19 and “your eye is the light(lamp) of your body”.Luke 11:34 You defile your body through your eye and thoughts. Let me share the secret behind this that the evil one is rebelling agaist God through you unknowingly. he wants u to defile the work of God: your body. Resist him and he will flee; ask forgiveness from God and receive christ life and copy Him..”as He is so are we in this world” 1 john 4:17

    The only way to remove mud water (porn) from a cup (mind/life) is to let fresh water continue running into it till overflow and eventually you will have clean water.That is, Feed your life,eyes and mind with the kingdom of God (God’s word,prayer ,spiritual songs,help people, serve in church).
    Overcome evil with good.

    It works,

  6. anonymous says

    I am a teen .masturbating was put in my life by a man who was supposed to talk on it and its consequences, but along the linerevealed some information that made it easy to figure out the rest.I was 12at the time and didn’t know what I was getting myself into. Up till my present age seventeen I haven’t stopped. Although I can stay for a time of 2months without indulging myself. I still fall which is most painfully.it restricts me. And I lose my confidence. I also find it hard to stay away from pornography which is usually what incites me.l feel hopeless most times.

    • ??? says

      I feel ya bro…this world is cold…its all a fight….and a lot of times people don’t realize the truth behind their struggles…I’m tired of the fight…but on the end….its all worth it…everything is put here for a purpose….every struggle has a purpose….

  7. Anonymous says

    Just completed the 30 day course. Was really great to do and highly recommend it. Its great to now have soom tools to utilize. Will be a big challenge still from here however feel a lot more prepaid for looking ahead than I evet have. Think my next step would be find an accountability partner to email. Thanks Alex.

  8. ??? says

    This is last attempt to get help from another person…..if I am again ignored…I’ll just end this once and for all…

    • craig says

      Hi ???

      What help do you want from someone else? There are millions of us out there/out here who are in exactly the same position as you, and also wanting to “end it all”. What do you want to hear from someone else in order to help you?

      I don’t mean to sound harsh, but what about looking at your own heart and seeing what it is YOU need to do, instead of trying to find someone else to blame for not getting back to you?

      I am happy to continue this conversation if you want to…

      Craig

    • Alex says

      I would suggest joining 12 step program like SAA or working with one of our coaches. It is much better for suited for real person contact.

      Regards,
      Alex

  9. ??? says

    …I just need someone to be there…to actually care…to be able help me…that I can talk to…..it would tear my family apart to find out…just as its torn me apart…if anyone actually cares…please…please reply to this post…

  10. ??? says

    Bastards…..help should be free….this world is nothing but hell people like you just seek money and take advantage of others struggles I can’t stand this bullshit anymore…I’m done with life if finding help has a price…a price some can’t pay… I’m done with it all…if I can’t find help from others…I’ll get help from a firearm….

    • sharlotte says

      Help haves a price and someone already pay for it in the CROSS!!!! and is called Jesus you want to be free of your struggle seek for him, and his help and i put my head on the fire that you will be free

    • Alex says

      Lol, join 12 steps its Free :) Or read our free recovery course, which is also free, or participate on our forum, which is – wait for it – also free. Stop looking for excuses. There is ton of free help available all over the place.

  11. Kerush says

    Thanks Alex for this site. I have been searching for over 5 years to get something that is practical and yet balanced in terms of ethical values. I cant call this your approach, I believe its God’s creativity inside of you, just like God worked inside of a weak human called Moses and gave Him the blueprint of building the tabernacle. This programme has personally impacted my and Im on a recovery path. I have been able to relate alot of what you shared with the reality in the Holy Scriptures especially on the area of the minds, which is the stronghold of pornography. Im ‘unwiring’ my minds in order to ‘re-wire’ them again and get a new ‘hegemony’ of how I perceive and relate to the opposite sex. I started watching porn 22 years ago, when i was only 13 years old. Meaning all my teen, young adult and good chunk of my marriage has been swallowed up in pornography. I dont know how it feels to be porn free. And its a whole new environment Im in, and I will find my steps just fine because now, I no longer depend on my human strength anymore. Im relying on the leading of the inner spirit man inspired by the grace I found in God, that despite all those years of sin, He is merciful to me. That grace has crushed the rock in me and Im beginning to walk in His pathway.

  12. Pablo says

    I completed the 30-day challenge. I will admit I slipped up twice. However, I would like to say this is a remarkable improvement from the daily habit I had of pornography consumption and usage.
    It really does work. I also think it’s interesting that the two days I messed up were two days I did not practice the breathing exercises. I do not think this is a coincidence.

    Do it. Take the challenge of getting the free help Alex offers. You’re probably scared to do it, but once you do–it’ll change your life.

    I have tried everything until this and it works.

    JUST MAKE SURE YOU DO *EVERYTHING* THE EMAILS SAY!

  13. Ed Sal says

    I really like what you guys are doing. With the prevalence of porn today you dont hear about anyone out there trying to help the people that have a real addiction. Good Job!!

  14. mac says

    hey Alex, you are doing a nice job here,I took the free recovering course and truly it changed my life, I began to see realities. I dont mind boasting that even after the course which lasted a month, I have not watched porn nor masturbated and I can feel my real self now. I just pray it will continue like this. and any other help would be very useful to me.
    Thanks man, keep up the good work.

  15. CAAG says

    Its a great experience with free recovery porn addition with alex. he is such great person that helping me in recovery of this addition.he is doing great social work. keep doing this work.
    REGARDS
    CAAG

  16. ??? says

    I need help I too struggle with this and I want to get free of it but every time I try I fail. Please….I need help

  17. James46 says

    I also had a porn addiction, which I tried to hide from my wife, until she busted my one day. We had a talk about it and ever since, she browses porn together with me online.

    Our sex life has greatly improved, ever since it ain’t a secret anymore. We started roleplaying too.

    • Alex says

      Please do not post any links to pornograpnics sites again, or your comments will be banned. This is nothing personal, I am just trying to protect our other readers, who might find such content offensive.

      Other than that, I am really happy that you and your wife were able to find something that works for the both of you.

      Regards,
      Alex

    • Kjo says

      I too followed similar path. Then I watched a movie in local language about human trafficking and innocent girls used for pervasive acts of forced sex.

      I did a google search for ‘porn and human trafficking’ and results showed a sad story. And I am sad. I want to get rid of it and not be directly/indirectly responsible for the trafficking to happen.

      Really, it can happen to any girl on a fine day and my porn watching tendencies have a role to play.

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