Feed the Right Wolf

Hey Alex, Jeff Fisher from www.porntopurity.com ...

2010-02-22T14:39:29.028-08:00

Hey Alex,

Jeff Fisher from www.porntopurity.com

I stumbled on your site today. It's great to see you being real and sharing your struggles with the community. My wife and I have been working on our own recovery for the last few years.

I just wanted to say Hi. I look forward to your future content.

Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear And Grace,...

2010-02-18T06:55:08.581-08:00

Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear
And Grace, my fear relieved
How precious did Grace appear
The hour I first believed

Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come
Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grave will lead me home

God bless the Amazon affiliate program, mate :P

2010-01-26T14:04:24.525-08:00

God bless the Amazon affiliate program, mate :P

Oh and... Indian stories aside... being prone to a...

2010-01-26T14:00:23.704-08:00

Oh and... Indian stories aside... being prone to addictions (alcohol, cocaine, smoking, sex or whatever) is genetic. SO no matter how much you fight it, you'll never win, you'll just keep the temptation at the gates, you'll just buy yourself one more day of not losing.

In the words of Oscar Wilde - "The only way to rid yourself from temptation is to surrender to it"

You can't expect to fight your demons and win. You fight them, you fight them ... and you fight them again.

But hey - let's look at the bright side - you'll always be tempted, however there's a great oportunity to make an ?honest buck out of it thanks to Amazon, right ?

Well, mate, whatever your breakthroughs might be, ...

2010-01-26T13:56:17.683-08:00

Well, mate, whatever your breakthroughs might be, to me you're still a wanker using his blog for affiliate marketing.
That's worse than being a wanker

Cheers !

@Ben, Thank you for your question. Candeo Can wa...

2010-01-03T13:39:03.649-08:00

@Ben,

Thank you for your question.

Candeo Can was not the only program that helped me to achieve sobriety but it was one of the most important elements.

Out of all books that I've read and programs that I participated in, Candeo Can was the most informative.

As an alternative you might want to check out Recovery Nation, but I personally liked the way Candeo Can worked, and I would recommend it, if you can afford the payment.

@FeedTheRightWolf: You have explained the Candeo p...

2010-01-02T05:10:06.043-08:00

@FeedTheRightWolf: You have explained the Candeo program beautifully and I appreciate that. I am VERY seriously thinking of getting into this program, and hence I am looking around the net for reviews on it.

Could I please ask you though - has this program actually helped you stop porn/masturbating for extended time periods at least? I think what was not made clear in this post, and I think it would be quite beneficial was - if you could kindly mention some of the positive effects and experiences this program has had for you.
Thanks,
Ben

I love your blog!

2009-12-29T03:26:40.361-08:00

I love your blog!

@Anonymous. How long does it take to recover is a ...

2009-12-28T09:29:16.485-08:00

@Anonymous. How long does it take to recover is a very tough question and depends completely on how you define recovery. I shared some of my thoughts on this subject in this post.

I think there will never be true recovery in the sense that I will ever be safe from the dangers that this addiction brings. Desire for sex is hardwired into my brain, and I am always only one day away from miss-using it.

That being said I think it is very possible for me to go through the rest of my life without ever action out again. But it always comes down to making the right choices each single day.

This is a hard pill to swallow but I think that it is the reality of this addiction.

How long does it take for you to recover?

2009-12-28T02:38:47.395-08:00

How long does it take for you to recover?

thank you for your comment on our blog, www.recove...

2009-12-07T20:45:32.664-08:00

thank you for your comment on our blog, www.recoveringfromaddictions.blogspot.com I have gone through and read several of your post and I am impressed with your commitment and the steps you are taking in your life. Thanks so much for sharing.
(wife)

@Anonymous, I think you meant to say that men chea...

2009-12-06T08:57:54.273-08:00

@Anonymous, I think you meant to say that men cheat in any society regardless of society's view on sexuality, and therefore my argument is flawed.

I know that men cheat in every society, that was not my argument. My argument was that

a. For a man who does not want to cheat it is easier to do so in a society where he does not constantly get exposed to sexually explicit stimuli.

b. That our society is very hypocritical in its response.

Men cheat on their wives in non-sexually repressed...

2009-12-06T01:41:27.260-08:00

Men cheat on their wives in non-sexually repressed societies, your argument is flawed.

I do agree -- it's past time to move on and let Ti...

2009-12-06T00:57:06.448-08:00

I do agree -- it's past time to move on and let Tiger Woods get on with healing his relationships.

Good post. For many of the reasons you state, I'm ...

2009-12-06T00:54:56.854-08:00

Good post. For many of the reasons you state, I'm more disappointed than surprised about Tiger Woods' unfaithfulness to his wife. There are tremendous pressures on "normal" person. That pressure is ratcheded up several notches for a sports celebrity who is skilled, handsome, and has a winning personality. I wish our culture would self-monitor and self-censor itself in order to reduce these influences and pressures.

Thank God, there are more differences between humans and dogs than a more highly developed brain. We have a soul and a conscience; we were created in the image of God. Thus, we can choose the right things to do rather than simply allowing nature to take it's course. Even then we need to follow our maker's instructions.

@Anonymous, English is my second language, so than...

2009-12-02T17:25:43.518-08:00

@Anonymous, English is my second language, so thank you for pointing out my spelling mistakes, I will try to do my best to fix them.

First of all, I want to say thank you for writing ...

2009-11-24T04:55:03.582-08:00

First of all, I want to say thank you for writing this up. Second of all, I recommend Candeo's free mini-course to anyone who is curious about it. I haven't plunked down the $$$ for the full course so I can't speak to that.

To me, the biggest "aha" moment I had from this, or really from anything on this subject, came from this concept: "The advice to 'Just stop thinking about it' 'avoid it,' or 'get it out of your mind has actually deepened your addiction! This is the worse advice there is!"

At first I was like.... whaaa!? That doesn't make sense. If I'm trying to "not do" something, doesn't it logically follow that those are exactly the right thoughts to be thinking, not the worst ones?

In short, I didn't understand it at first at all. And when I realized I didn't understand it, I got excited! Because I realized that meant I was about to learn something.

And I did. I realized that "just avoid it, get it out of your mind" and "okay I give in" were not really "opposites" so much as just flip sides of the same coin.

I mean, when I write it out that way and read it now, it seems kind of cliche. But to me it was like, "aha! I caught you." I observed it happening on my consciousness. Those thoughts of "just avoid it" I had thought were on the "good side" but actually they were on the "bad side." But even that wasn't true either; it was "good intentions" with a bad effect. And the ulitmate lesson was that one shouldn't be at war with oneself in the first place. The key is to understand those urges, and understand the mechanisms why they translate into addictive behavior. But, don't "go to war with them." Think "aikido," not "kung fu."

Tip for your next two-week period: study English a...

2009-11-24T01:28:11.748-08:00

Tip for your next two-week period: study English and learn that it has a past tense: finished, not finish. Detailed log, not detail. Learn about then versus than, meditate versus mediate, and two versus too versus to.

Good luck with the next two weeks (plural, not next two week).

@Anonymous, Thank you for your response. Perhaps t...

2009-11-23T22:02:23.930-08:00

@Anonymous, Thank you for your response. Perhaps this post was a bit emotional and I did not considered all of the factors involved. Still I think it is important to consider effects of pornography, even if those effects would prove to be negligible.

I enjoy your blog but I have to say, I think you'r...

2009-11-23T21:19:07.564-08:00

I enjoy your blog but I have to say, I think you're way, way off on this one.

I grew up in the SF Bay Area and I am pretty aware of and familiar with Richmond (as well as various high-crime areas in nearby Oakland, etc.)

Those places have major, major problems. Porno is definitely not the biggest one by a long shot. Neither are video games, or violent movies.

I think that lack of intact family units, pitiful public schools, poverty, and an intracted gang culture, and the the acceptance and condining of the gang culture as acceptable in many parts of African-American culture are the true issues affecting those areas.

@Anonymous, Thank you very much. I am really happy...

2009-11-22T09:18:09.904-08:00

@Anonymous, Thank you very much. I am really happy that my posts can be helpful.

Just found your blog today, I've added you to my R...

2009-11-22T05:24:57.748-08:00

Just found your blog today, I've added you to my RSS reader. I really enjoy the way you've summarized some various systems in specific posts and tie it in with some stories about your own experience.

Thank you, I have also found 12 step meetings to b...

2009-11-15T15:01:12.378-08:00

Thank you, I have also found 12 step meetings to be very helpful as you can read at my other posts.

It's a good question Ratman, and I don't know why ...

2009-11-15T14:59:41.072-08:00

It's a good question Ratman, and I don't know why rape rates went down, and that does puzzle me,and at the same time I am glad to hear that. Nevertheless, I still think that pornography is at least partially to blame for the tolerance to what was taking place displayed by the witnesses.

@Anonymous with 600,000 pics... God bless your wif...

2009-11-15T14:54:08.082-08:00

@Anonymous with 600,000 pics... God bless your wife...