Feed the Right Wolf

Hello friends,

I am a recovering sex addict. I started looking at soft porn when I was in Highschool at the age 15. Since then I have gone from watching soft porn to Sadistic. Too ashamed to think How could I do it. I was caught out by my wife, Not to hurt her , I got rid off all the porn collection. Started going to recovery group. My heart was not right. Secretly I Craved all the while for porn, sex outside marriage. I was caught once again by my wife, having sex outside marriage. She had no choice, the chances she had given for me to sober was over. She had to leave me. Yet I did not sober up. After 2 1/2 years of seperation, I woke up, this is not who I am. I confessed to God, Started attending recovery group. I wanted to be sober, not because of someone. For this is the right thing, I have lost my identity because of my addiction. I am honest with God, with myself, group, freinds. I do not have to lie any more. I want to be honest, for mysake. Since awakening from deadness. I had a couple of slipups. It is my 28th day of being sober. When I am tempted or somecrazy thing happens, I call up my friend and let him know. Pray together. Now I can conversation not with the ladies or girls chest, but looking into their eyes. I am glad I found some good stuff here. ERP is good and helping me out. No televison, Computer is protected by filter. Thank you guys. I will start righting how I go on the Journal forum.

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Admit I am powerless over my addiction & my life had become unmanageable
Came to believe that a Power greater than me could restore me to sanity.
Made a decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understood Him.
Be honest to myself

Hi Indkitty,

Welcome to the forum, we're glad you're here. Congratulations on making it 28 days, I hope you use this forum and other tools to continue getting better. What recovery group are you attending?

Your friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

Hello Absolution,
The recovery group i am attending is called "SALT". Sexual addict learning trust, I live in sydney australia, I know of two groups who meet in this fashion. Salt is Part of "Desert Stream Ministries" in US
http://dsm.us.churchinsight.com/Groups/1000040169/Desert_Stream_Ministries/Who_We_Are/Introduction/Introduction.aspx. Sometimes I do attend different group, which runs on 12 steps. I do visit other websites like.http://www.blazinggrace.org/". The truth is it does not matter where or which group I attend. If i am not honest to myself & others. I am doing great.
I have stayed away from porn, masturbation, prostitutuion for 29 days.
I am a procrastinator. Does not get easily motivated. Someday I just look at 3 min video of motivation or read. Do something good.
I take one day at a time. I need to be sober for 24 hrs, that's all I desire.
Thanks for invitation.

_________________
Admit I am powerless over my addiction & my life had become unmanageable
Came to believe that a Power greater than me could restore me to sanity.
Made a decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understood Him.
Be honest to myself