Feed the Right Wolf

Checklist done
Strong Emotions I was happy about my progress today but annoyed that I did not do enough studying. I had a lot of free time which was pretty dangerous

Strong Negative Believes I am feeling abehind my peers on my study progress and I will need a lot of effort to drag my way back

Isolation I was pretty terrible today with handling isolation as. I had a lot of free time wasted on watching football games on the net

Positive experience I survived another day which makes it 9 days

Other comments. Keep working hard consistenantly. One can never be safe from such a trial.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Checklist done need to make sure to pray on time
Strong emotion confidence that I can overcome this habbit but I need to continue in this path

Strong Negative Believes again stress from studying
isolation was at uni all day

Positive experience I dont feel ashamed or disrespect myself. I able to talk to ppl freely without a sense of guilt or hypocracy

Other comments. Stay on the watch especially this weekend is going to be hard

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Checklist done
Strong emotion exhausted such a tiresome day today..

Strong Negative beliefs.. if I relapse I might not have the will to do such effort again

Positive experience confidence because i am being a positive influence on ppl around me

Other comments. Exam on Friday and I need to study my ass off to get a decent mark. I have to be really careful about what I do on the weekend. A visit to the beach would be nice to relax and have fun.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Hi Fresh,

Great job keeping up with your journal every day! You'll continue to see the benefits of recovery moving forward.

Your friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

Thank you for your support. I feel much stronger with this new strategy and it makes me predict what could happen and avoid it.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

So almost 20 days since the last masterbation. I have only been here once before and hopefully i will never need to restart again. Also almost two weeks since i last viewed porn. I feel great, effecient and very productive. I will start attending the gym and continue playing soccer in order to maintain a busy schedule.

Checklist done
Strong emotion productive as my studying and work ethics are improving.

Strong Negative beliefs now that I am holding back my urges will rise and I will almost definitely have crushes.I need to rise in strength and will to get passed this bumpy ride.

Positive experience being proactive instead of passive

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Message doesn't want get posted properly
Exam tomorrow total go sleep

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Checklist 8 Hours of Sleep done Meditation done Praying on time done Afternoon prayer done Reading Recovery forum done Exercise ERP not done

Strong emotion, happiness, craving,

Strong Negative Believes.might do bad on the exam but I did it and it was fine

Isolation stayed at uni all day

Positive experience played my first game with my soccer team

Other comments this weekend is the weekend I got to toughen and do as much work as possible. It will be a struggle. Also tomorrow will mark my 2 wk goal-awesome.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Checklist 8 Hours of Sleep done Meditation done Praying on time done Afternoon prayer done Reading Recovery forum done Exercise ERP done

Strong emotion relaxed

Strong Negative Believes none

Isolation went to swimming pool and went to volunteering job which took most of my day

Positive experience broke my previous record for swimming 25 meters

Other comments there was a strikingly fit girl at the swimming pool and my eyes kept flickering toward her. It was very hard to resist looking at her but I managed to keep it to a minimum. It is always hard to avoid looking at a woman that is beautiful. It is a very confusing. However, looking may distub my inner peace and cause cravings to develop and eventually turn me to looking at porn. As hard as it is, I need to keep my eyes away. My heart crumples when i see someone that is beautiful yet i know i probably will never even to get to speak to her. It is only an extension of my addiction. After twenty days of no masturbation, i am getting into a state where i see every girl as potential for a relationship. It is miserable. I know my vision is blurred by my brain's craving and need to battle fiercely against it. Eventually it will fade away.

On the other hand, one girl for me stands above all. I couldn't help but fall for her. It was a slow development and it did not start to disturb me until this year. I see her everyday at uni and we have been working together for past year and a half. She is beautiful, smart and very athletic. However, I do not like a few things about her: arrogance and alcohol drinking. I have been juggling weather to tell her or not. At times it seems I should so she can reject me and I continue on with my life. At other times I fear her reaction and how awkward it may be. Altough highly unlikely, at other times I fear if she accept I have no clue how to continue. It is a delimma that has been rotting inside my heart for the past two years and one which I cannot find a solution for. I am so confused.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Hi Freshstart,

With the girl you're interested in, I think it would be healthy to examine whether the feelings are coming from a good place. If you believe they are, then talking to her might be a good thing for you. Don't go into it with any expectations, whether good or bad, just be yourself and whatever happens will be the best.

Keep coming back and keep moving forward!

Your friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore