Feed the Right Wolf

Keep moving forward, Fresh, you're doing great.

Your friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

Thanks absolution, well now its time to get my act together, I have been studying really hard for past few days and will continue for next three weeks until exams are over. Also, I have let the reins loose and stopped battling this evil deed. This the problem I have been having, every time I study hard and get over it or take a break I fall into that pit again. I have still fighting in me but studying takes my mind off my defences. Indeed the journey is very difficult but the in the long run the desirable outcome is much more full filling than the current status.

Studying on a computer everyday all day, the worst combination for the worst outcome
So here I go again day 1 in the hope that I regain my strength toward the right path and move on from the disastrous past.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

uhh sigh of relief. a month ago my exams begun and I slowly moved away from posting. I was I deed very busy and made many excuses to not post. however, deep inside I know I should've kept going. I have discovered that complacency only leads to more complacency. to be able to carry something through, one has to persevere until achieving the target and not stopping there. a person needs to continue further to enhance what has been achieved.

in the exam block my stress level was certainly high and my way of dealing with stress is negative relief. the number of times I fell were a few and so did not greatly affect my studies, yet it had more an influence on my will and drives me close to hopelessness. the holidays begun and my stress dissipated and now I can focus on this target.

This is my new start and it is day 5. I know if I can go through this month, I will continue to get stronger from my previous experience.

My aims for this month are to read fifty pages of a book a day
run at least three times a week a distance of. 3 km or more.
keep clean
and more which I will post when I think of.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

day nine
I haven't used the computer for three days and it made things so much easier. I need to start reading the recovery program to ensure I keep my focus on the right track

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Denial leads to repeated failure

I have started to keep a physical journal of my progress now. this new form of written expression will provide me with a new pathway to battle this disease. Also, it seems I don't need to turn on the computer anymore and that has decreased my boredom and alone time on the computer. I am also back to performing erps to keep myself on target.

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Denial leads to repeated failure