Thanks very much for your support Absolution. I can see Journalling is actually kinda soothing. Will definitely keep at it.
Today is full of mixed emotions. Was happy all day. Even attended the Toastmaster's meeting at work
. Then all of sudden I am in this terrible mood. Felt like something pushed me. Helpless, depressed
, thoughts like 'what's the point of this wretched life'. No cravings though. I guess I should be glad for that at least.
Good things Today: Went to the Toastmasters meeting. Was motivated(not fully though) to work and study. Found great articles regarding this addiction. I guess getting to know this addiction will ultimately help me understand myself better and thus promote the change I need.
Bad Things: The 'low'.
I am greedy. I am not anticipating cure right this moment, making me a saint, washing all the dirt my mind accumulated over time. I am not gonna push it. I understand the addiction can jump me when I least expect it.