Feed the Right Wolf

I could say it was easy today.. But that would be a lie. It is getting hard. But I know I can do it. And I am very lucky to say that most of my friends are supportive of my dession. And the one that aren't keep it to them self's. And thank you all. I got on the computer today very temped but I got on this page and read your comments of support. It helps so much. 6 days down, a life time to go.

Hi Banlee,

That's great you got on your when you needed to. Keep coming back and keep moving forward!

Your friend,
Absolution.

_________________
Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

Well just got on google images to look for a calender. So I typed in "calendar" and up poops a porn image! What kind of crap is that??? I exited out immediately. Then went out side. And got away from it. Make sure you have safe search on! Close call. Does than count as acting out?

No way my friend. Your reaction was perfect. Keep running like crazy away from that stuff!
You're doing fine! I'm proud of you!

CSC

_________________
Kind regards, CSC

"I wished for nothing beyond her smile, and to walk with her thus, hand in hand, along a sun-warmed, flower-bordered path. (Andre Gide)"

Been a NEW MAN since: April 16, 2012

Well I'm haveing trooble right now so I'm going to post. At the end of this day it will be 1 week I have gone with out viewing porn. That is the longest I have gone in 11 months! But it's slowly getting harder. I hope it doesn't keep getting harder at this rate of I don't know if I will make the month. I'm feeling better now so I think I'm going to end this post.

Hi Banlee,

Glad you posted here when you were in a bad place and that it helped. Keep coming back!

Your friend,
Absolution.

_________________
Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

I'm with Absolution here, Keep posting. Let it all out. We are listening.
I can assure you. I promise you in fact. It is not going to get harder and harder.
it will actually start to back off. But you have to do your part.
Zero Porn Policy! That's it. That's the answer. No peeking!
During this phase keep your eyes to yourself when you are in the mall etc.
TV, Sport Mags. The sex in them is poison to you.
Be strict with yourself and you will be amazed at how the urge diminishes.

I wish you peace and strength, my friend CSC

_________________
Kind regards, CSC

"I wished for nothing beyond her smile, and to walk with her thus, hand in hand, along a sun-warmed, flower-bordered path. (Andre Gide)"

Been a NEW MAN since: April 16, 2012

Hey Banlee

Its great to see you posting here at your age. I'm only 2 years older than you, 17, but I wish I had made the decision to try to quit at 15 like you have, because the longer you let the addiction control your life, the harder it gets to break free. Don't get me wrong, your road to freedom wont be easy, but you've made the right choice for sure.

Just regarding Google images and other accidental exposures surfing, I have even been exposed accidentally with safe search on. The best thing you can do is download a filter of some kind, I suggest the k9 filter, I use it and it helps a lot. It will stop you going on any sites by accident.

Keep it up bro, your doing great

_________________
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sober since: 19th May, 2013

Well I broke... Hard... I feel like a big horse shit. I want to curl up in a ball and cry right now. I broke quite a few times after my last post. But this time I caved in on my self. I don't want this. I don't want this for my future wife. I don't want this for my future kids. I don't want this at all. I don't want it now or ever. I was watching a basket ball game and a guy got foiled bad.. But the ref didn't call it. But instead of laying there and felling sorry for him self (like they usally do) he jumped up ran down the court and as the guy that foiled him when to shot he swated the ball in his face. That's what I want to do. This may have beat me down now but I want to swat it in it's own face and show it I'm bigger than it. That is what I'm going to do. This need to stop now. And it will. I get in this I don't really care state of mind before I break.. Does any one get this??? How do you work with it??

hi Banlee,

Just reading your journal now. To bad about the fails. But the key is you are writing this and you haven't given up.
So you are way further down Success St that you might imagine.
Remember there's a 100 guys out there clueless at where to start. You have already started. Keep going.

My only advice is total 100% absence of porn and sexy material. It's just a plain killer for me. Zero Porn Policy - Highly Recommended.
Sincerely CSC

_________________
Kind regards, CSC

"I wished for nothing beyond her smile, and to walk with her thus, hand in hand, along a sun-warmed, flower-bordered path. (Andre Gide)"

Been a NEW MAN since: April 16, 2012