Feed the Right Wolf

hello everyone,
I'm a high school student and I've been exposed to pornography at a very young age. First it was just to explore my natural curiosity. later it became problematic and before I knew it, I was addicted to it. I was spending hours and hours hooked up to internet porn. The intensity of the content I viewed was increasing day by day, and then I realized that I had to stop.

That's the reason why I'm here. I have been struggling to quit this addiction for more than 2 years now. I've had only little and temporary success. But then again, my failed attempts will help me to succeed for real. So anyways, I'm participating in the recover course provided by the author (which I'm very thankful for). I'm also going to post my progress here on this journal.

So, this is day zero of my sobriety.

Daily Checklist:
Meditation : 20 minutes

Strong Emotions That You Felt During the Day:
Frustration because I messed up, Boredom because football practice was cancelled and had nothing to do in the evening, Excitement about school tomorrow.

Strong Negative Believes that Were Affecting my Day:
Belief: It doesn't hurt to just look at pornography to cope with the stresses of life.
Truth: Pornography is the root cause for my increased levels of stress.

Belief: I will never be free of pornography.
Truth: many people have, and there's no reason why I can't.

Things I'm Thankful for:
The recovery course provided by this website.

Hi Heaper! It's good to have you here. Just by getting on here and posting you have taken the first step and that is great! You will find lots of people here who are struggling with the same thing as you. If you get a chance, read through some of the journals and you will see some of the things that have worked for people and some of the things that haven't. The most important thing to remember is don't give up!! We all make mistakes, but it's what we decide to do afterwards that makes the difference.

_________________
5/17/13

Vencer, thank you for your support. I already read through some of the journals here. They do help me to keep going.

I've been clean for 24 hours now..

Daily Checklist:
Meditation : 20 minutes

Strong Emotions That You Felt During the Day:
Joy after going to the beach and having fun with friends.

Things I'm Thankful for:
Having a tropical climate all year round and for having beautiful white sandy beaches in my homeland.

I messed up again. so it's day zero again. I should've taken those warning signs more seriously. anyways, there's no point in talking about how dissapointed I am now. So I'm just gonna get up on my feet and try again. and i'll keep trying untill I succeed.

Checklist:
20 minutes of meditation
Journaling

Strong Emotion:
Dissapointment, lust, excitement

Social Skills:
went out with a friend, and enjoyed working with him.

I am Thankful For:
having nice friends.