Feed the Right Wolf

Hey dpacrepentance
I would suggest staying from all factors that can trigger you to watch porn, espedially staying alone on the computer without purpose. A person might get away once or twice of sitting on comp alone but the situation is very dangerous. Also, I suggest you find a different way of dealing stress other than porn, for example going to gym or running ect
I hope everything going well.

_________________
Denial leads to repeated failure

Keep up the good work Dpac, keep praying and reading your bible. I can relate to you with anger problems, I never used to have them but ive noticed I have been more grumpy over the past few months, I need to work on this. Ill be praying for you!

_________________
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sober since: 19th May, 2013

Hi Freshstart and Aaron,
I was going to quit posting for a while simply because I did not want to make anyone upset by my comments but i feel obligated to respond to the both of you. In my country, it is possible that everyone looks at porn. When I told my wife and kids they laughed, everyone looks at it. The difference is that everyone does not become porn addicts. The guy who looks at porn to masturbate and can't wait until he gets another fix, the guy who looks at porn for hours and hours at a time. This is a porn addict. And this used to be me.
Now I am home alone with the computer, during the Easter vacation and any vacation with the kids it is normally the case, I need other strategies so i don't go on a binge. It is going to be inevitable that I would be alone with a computer at some time so I must learn to deal with it at some point.
So why did I tell the wife and kids? I am still the same person whether I look at porn or not. I told them because confession is truly the best medicine for the soul. I was able to face my addiction without fear of being caught, maybe ridiculed but not caught. Somehow the stress of trying to hide my addiction was one the reasons I remained addicted in the first place.
Now that I know I can feed my addiction at anytime convenient I usually don't. Like even right now. My biggest problem is that I get horny about once or twice for the week and the easiest outlet is porn. I am such a lazy fella. It is much easier than building intimacy with the wife or even imagining having sex with the wife.
Now this addiction is at last at its end. Prayer for God to remove this temptation from me seems to be truly working. Being alone with a computer is not a deal for me anymore.
Aaron I honestly hope that you don't develop an anger management problem and I'll be praying for you as well. I do read the bible by myself and with the family everyday.
Freshstart, you have some great ideas for getting rid of stress. Pumping the old iron is good, instead of pumping the you know what.
Ha!Ha!

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

one week,
Using prayer to ask God to lead me not into temptation and intimacy with wife I got through a rather effortless week. I did some meditation to amp up my prayer a bit but it may not have been all that necessary for me to meditate. I believe the prayer alone was rather effective. I give a thumbs up to meditation rather than secular entertainment to relax the mind. I looked at very little secular entertainment. The first half of Kung Fu Panda. It was very funny.
This week I may have to spend a few days alone at home and the computer would be there. Let's see how this goes.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

Day 8,
!st day home alone. It was rather relaxing. Looked at the Passion by Mel Gibson. Seeing what Jesus did for us so that we don't have to pay the penalty for sin was very helpful. I also went to church yesterday. Good Friday was also much about the same topic. Looked at a few anger management videos. I still get angry too often. It could be tiredness and stress but I should be able to handle it by now. I got tempted a bit so I switched off the computer. Instead of focusing on the temptation I tried to remember my best sexual experience with my wife. This worked along with prayer and meditation. I did not read the bible yesterday but I could have done this as well. I'm OK so far.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

Day 11,
No porn but I am still having problems with anger. Many people walk around with a scowl on their face and at the slightest thing they are ready to pop. This is me sometimes. I get annoyed so easily. Why do people get annoyed so easily. I saw somewhere that a lack of forgiveness and love could be the reason. I know as a Christian that Jesus forgives us and loves us the most. I feel it sometimes but not enough. I've got to pray and spend more time with Jesus in order to experience his love and forgiveness some more. I am fed up of being the angry guy. Even when I am not angry people still think I am the angry guy. My family gets angry at me because they think that I am angry. I am not always angry but what they think and how they treat me can get me angry. Have you ever seen an angry guy try to convince others that he is not angry. He is not angry at first but gets angry in the process. Quite funny but not for the angry guy. I am showing forgiveness more and spending more time with my family showing them that I am not always angry. I am not going to give up. I think they are starting to like me.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

Dpac, Lately I have also been an angry person, I think it is frustration over my addiction. I will snap at anything and imediately reget it I agree with you, the key is to be more forgiving and loving towards the people you get angry at. Keep up the good work my freind

_________________
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sober since: 19th May, 2013

Hi Aaron,
Thanks for the reply. I did some vacationing with my family, yesterday into today. I showed my happy side and not my angry side. I believe I was relatively convincing. Concentrating on being a happy none angry person is a lot of work for me. I have no time to think about porn. Having something good to focus my mind on is also very helpful.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

Day 13,
I am facing my greatest demons now. Porn memories and a high libido. This is similar to how Goliath used to torment Israel. He used to stand up in a high place, every day, flexing his muscles and armor asking who would be brave enough to defeat him, knowing very well that he is greater and stronger than any normal man. David knew that God was stronger than Goliath and also he had the knowledge that he defeated similar enemies before like lions and bears with the weapons he already had. All he needed was faith and confidence.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

2 weeks,
I have found a way of dealing with my high libido without having to do porn. A God given sex drive is not the problem but how you deal with it is. Likewise being angry is not a sin in itself. How you deal with it is the problem. I can do stuff to make myself less angry but the key point is what to do when you do. The same thing with the sex drive. We could do stuff to decrease it but what to do when it is already high. The key is not to sin. There is always a way of escape that does not involve sin. Why does the sinful way always seem easier? This has to do with the devil and his marketing. Sin is just a choice. The devil through his marketing schemes makes it seem like the easiest and most gratifying but in actual fact it is not. Many people tend to not believe in a devil but then why is sin so popular and marketable? There really isn't a logical answer to this question without the presence of an evil force such as the devil and his demons.
I have done my limbo with porn. Using porn moderately to curb my sex drive and reduce stress. Whether it works or not is not the issue. The point is that you feel bad afterwards every time. Sin makes you feel bad and for those who don't feel bad after sin, there conscience are gone.
By the way, I would not recommend using porn moderately. It has a tendency to increase libido to uncontrollable levels and or create a high dependency for the porn itself. We've all been there and you know what I mean.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.