Feed the Right Wolf

One more thing,
I believe I have been fighting this thing for longer than you so and it is a fight but not in the way you think.
1.It is difficult but you should discuss your difficult sexual feelings and libido with wife.
2. It is difficult to change life style so that you no longer use the computer in private environment.
3. It is difficult to not get complacent and always ask God for assistance.
4. It is difficult to monitor your emotions and keep them in check at all times.

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I will cease being a slave to my past.

Hi Dpac,

I haven't heard from you long time and i thought you're on a binge. Fortunately you're fighting. the event with your daughter was God's rescue. Many years ago before my marriage I had a similar event when I wanted to make sex with a married woman and the last obstacle was her little daughter who came crying in the last moment into the room ( it was night ). the woman was my neighbour and the results of the affair could have been horrible.

In my opinion the fact that you have the opportunity to have enough sex with your wife and despite of this you're more interested in porn can be the sign of demon's activity. Quit all connection with occult ( Silva meditation), go to confession and pray sufficient.


Most glorious Prince of the Heavenly Armies, Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in "our battle against principalities and powers, against the rulers of this world of darkness, against the spirits of wickedness in the high places." (Ephes., VI, 12) Come to the assistance of men whom God has created to their image and likeness and whom Jesus has redeemed at a great price from the tyranny of the devil. Holy Church venerates thee as her guardian and protector; to thee, the Lord has entrusted the souls of the redeemed to be led into heaven. Pray therefore that the God of Peace allows men of faith to expel Satan, that he may no longer retain men captive and do injury to the Church. Offer our prayers to the Most High, that without delay they may draw His mercy down upon us; take hold of "the dragon, the old serpent, which is the devil and Satan," bind him and cast him into the bottomless pit "so that he may no longer seduce the nations." (Apoc., XX, 2)



Thanx for your hints to me.

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Hi Mombasa,
I haven't been on a binge. I believe I have a handle on uncontrollable binges by now. As I am writing this I am home alone with the computer with no urges whatsoever to look at porn. I look at porn when my libido is high. This happens about twice a week and maybe for an hour or so. What I recently figured out is that sex with my wife increases my libido. I get more energized and want more but the same doesn't happen to my wife. I don't want to push my luck and ask for too much sex if there is such a thing. I have full confidence that we will work out something. It has to be pleasant for the both of us. If it is not I just get a hard lash in the you know where until I cool off. (Ha Ha) She enjoys sex but not as often as I would like it. The good thing is that we are able to talk about it and this is a great help. In fact I do ask and she just says No and that is that.
I believe uncontrollable binges can be controlled by not having to masturbate in front of the computer. There is a point where the brain cannot control itself any longer. Like me and my anger management problem which by the way is much better now. You have got to find a way to prevent yourself from going all the way to the end. Some of the guys here use ERP. I have used meditation and a good imagination of my family catching me in the act. A good understanding of how my anger affects my family also helps me not to get angry as before. Also now that I am not so angry my wife and children are liking me so much more.
I said before that my wife was not willing to help me with my problem, but now that I am able to communicate better with her, it is not really the case anymore. It is not what you say to them but how you say it that matters. There are ways to develop communication with your spouse until you are both fine with any topic. Love and sensitivity to her emotions are very important if any real communication has to take place.
I am a graduate of Silva Mind Control and with the utmost confidence I can say it is not demonic. I won't mention it again if it is offensive to you. I like porn just like any other guy on this site. I definitely don't do binges anymore. Hints I gave are how I reached this far. I hope it helps.

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I will cease being a slave to my past.

@ DPAC...I am glad that you are doing well with your recovery. You make a number of good points in your posts to Mombasa. My wife and I are starting to work things out and she just recently asked me to down load a wifi internet filter for our wireless router. She has the password to that and to the filter on the PC. At the start of this she was so angry she did not want to have anything to do with my addiction. That was tough. Now she is helping to make sure I don't relapse. It is a great thing.

@Mombasa...how are things going with you lately. Well I hope? Keep up the good fight and don't quit. If something doesn't work, find something that will. As DPAC said, put your computer someplace public in your house. That will raise the chances of getting caught and in turn will also cut down on the opportunities to act out. It will help.

Also, discussing things with your wife is never a bad thing. I didn't do that initially six years ago and almost lost my wife because of my stubbornness and stupidity. I believe, now, that if I had talked to her about it more and asked for her help then I would not have gone through everything I have the last five months. I now have a chance to repair and make my marriage better than before.

God has blessed us all by having these forums. He brought us all here to help us. He gave us Alex and the Wolf to help us.

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Sobriety date: November 6, 2011
In all you do, remember the end of your life and then you will never sin. Sirach 7:36

Love and time can heal just about anything.

Failure is not an option.

Hi guys,

Today in the morning I've reached my full 10 sober days. Yesterday started moderate cravings and I know that they will increase in the following days. It's difficult but I'm happy - since my beginning on this forum I only once have reached 10 days and then fast acted out .
I'm doing most of the hints suggested by Dpac but without one point - all priests who I go to confession to advised me not to say my wife about my addiction. My previous experience ( when I told my wife about it many years ago ) says to me they are right. As I said on this forum - I don't want to have a war and devastated highly angry wife. That all wouldn't be healthy for us both and the utmost stress wouldn't help me in recovery. Probably I would have to move out as Ineedhelp and living alone would be for me an occasion to reduce the big stress and act out.

In my case It must be alone fight with only help of priests, the forum and with God's assistance.
My computer cannot be placed public because it's a laptop PC so it would take 10 seconds to take it from one room into the next personfree.
Ineedhelp, it's impossible for me to quit the fight as long as I believe in God because it's absolutely not possible for me to reconcile P/M with life as a Christian. The day when I hipothetically lose my faith will be the day when I quit the fight.
Day 11

Failure is not an option

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Hi Mombasa,
I am not in the least suggesting that you should break up your marriage first of all. The fact that you cannot tell your wife about this addiction means that you need to develop a closer more intimate relationship with your wife. I have one or two African associates and they tell me it is a cultural thing to not be intimate in the home. One guy told me that he only understood that his parents loved him after he became a man. This is sad. However a Christian home is supposed to be different.
Pray for ways in which you can reach your wife's heart and learn more about your wife's feelings where they come from. Basically study your wife. She might like the attention. At least I hope she does. After intimacy is achieved, you should be able to tell her anything, and she may have a few things to tell you about herself. You may be surprised.

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I will cease being a slave to my past.

Hi Dpac,

You're right - more intimacy with wife will be curable for us both. The same tell me the priests during confession. Recently I have been applying the advice and I been hugging my wife when sleeping. I noticed (as one priest said) that it reduces my cravings and wife is content too.

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It is probably great to redirect the emotion from porn craving into a different form of loving your wife.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Exactly Freshstart - redirecting towards my wife and in your case towards a girl. Get to know one.
If you've got difficulties in this , simply read manuals on that subject on the internet and try hard with courage. You'll find one eventually on the condition that you try continuously and never give up.

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My problem is not that I cant talk to girls or that I lack social skills or ability to get a girl. The problem is I am not an advocate of relationships before marriage. However, I can manage not having a girlfriend because I have great family support

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Denial leads to repeated failure