Feed the Right Wolf

Hi Mombasa,
Some of the things you are saying are in conflict. Read it yourself and see what I mean. You asked whether the Bible said that you must hate evil. The fact is that it does, and in several different places. You did not ask for an interpretation.
I am not trying to get you angry or get your gold but you do seem to be in conflict. I have been there many times. There does seem to be some short term benefits to looking at porn in moderation. I too have been in this conflict for many years. You have got to see the big picture. Does Jesus really like what you are doing? Ask the Holy Spirit about it.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

Hi Dpac,

The think is not if the word hate exist in the Bible in the context of hating evil but if we really should always hate evil, I mean abhoring evil ( with a very strong emotional feeling as you hate looking at disgusting worms, maggots or spiders).

I think it's realistic for lots of people to hate (emotionally) murder, theft ...but the man isn't able to hate things connected with sexual life - it's the drive. we can hate the negative consequences of P/M but not P/M itself.

If Jesus required from us doing literally what He said we shoul hate (abhore) our parents. So "hate" in that context means - I (Jesus ) must be the most important person for you and My words (Jesus's Words) must be always more important than your parents' and you must obey Me and not your parents when they say anything contradicting Me. I (Jesus) am your master and not your parents.-

_________________

Hi Mombasa,
Again it seems you are working a compromise. Believe me when I say that I have been there. Sex is not evil. God made sex, sexuality and all the attraction that goes with it. Porn is demonic and evil. It probably existed for as long as sex and is more prevalent and accessible now in 3D and high quality in these modern times.
Do not hate sex but hate porn, in all its forms, and even in its soft form in mainstream entertainment. Have you ever seen shows like Crank, or Driving Angry? They are good examples but don't go and see it just to prove me right or wrong. They even use top actors so that the shows would even be more mainstream.
Have you ever seen child molesters being caught on TV. Front line did a TV series on this. To catch a predator. Some of them were glad they were caught because they did not know how to stop themselves. We who are porn addicts know how difficult it is to stop our selves.
I am talking about married men with children and daughters themselves. If this is not demonic, I don't know what is.
Jesus was right to say that if your eyes make you sin, it is better to go to heaven blind than to end up in hell. Why not make your self blind to porn in all its forms and never look at it again.
About hating your parents and loving Jesus instead. Many of us have had bad examples for parents. I believe Jesus meant for us to follow him and not our parents. Unless you had really good parents and thank God if you did. It may be better to hate the example of your parents and love Jesus instead.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

Hey Mombasa, I have you are doing well
Linking in with what you guys are saying, I definetly hate porn because it is an unnatural thing while sex cannot be hated because it is one our natural entertainments.

_________________
Denial leads to repeated failure

Hi every one,

Today is my day 23 without P/M. I waited with my posts here before I've reached my last record from April - 22 days. It's very discouraging to me failing and then trying to reach the last accomplishment. All the days between are nerviness for me . It's interesting if you react similarly or it is anything typical of me. So it's very important to me not to succumb in order not to chase my last record of clean days. nothing is so dispiriting.
So far I haven't had big urges but I know they are comming and then will be my real test.

I'm feeding my right wolf with prayer, the Bible, spiritual reading,almost daily reading your posts here, trying to put into practice the Words of God, trying to be more social with my wife and children, trying to prepare myself good enough and doing good my job , getting enough rest and sleep and resisting temptation possibly with the most will power ....all in all trying to listen to God more.
Day 23

_________________

Today is day 31, so it's been my first 30 clean days almost for a year.
The urges have been gradually increasing, especially in the mornings for a few days.
I'm feeling better emotionally and having more power to decide against doing something pleasant but harmful.
From now on I'm going to try fight my gluttony too. I weigh 12 kg more than the limit.
I must be watchful. The urges are increasing every day. They are not high yet but I know the crucial days are coming.

_________________

Hey mombasa,
Just a note to encourage you. Hang in there with the urges. You will succeed.

At least this is what I've found....
The Urge! Its only a chemical in your brain trying to get you back to an equilibrium you used to be.
Think of it as a little screaming baby demanding food. It going to make you miserable until you satisfy it.
All you have to do is maintain you 'new' equilibrium and the urges diminish. It doesn't get satisfied and eventually
a new equilibrium (your good life) becomes the norm and you brain will start demanding that (and that'a a good thing).

Please forgive me if I overstep my place here, but if your urges are increasing, may be examine if you aren't feeding
that screaming baby, just a little bit some times? Maybe some softcore? or a hot movie?, even unconsciously?.
I know for me its all the same, a music video, a babe at the mall, even some parts of ads (deliberately put in there btw)
are massive triggers for me.

I read about others "limiting" the amount of porn that access or the number of days "between" access. Baby's smart
and patient and can't be beaten that way. I believe total sobriety will starve the drug in the brain.
So if the urge is increasing, perhaps have a quiet reflection. Something might occur to you.

Regardless, my thoughts are with you and I wish you success and well done for 30 day milestone. I'm there too!

_________________
Kind regards, CSC

"I wished for nothing beyond her smile, and to walk with her thus, hand in hand, along a sun-warmed, flower-bordered path. (Andre Gide)"

Been a NEW MAN since: April 16, 2012

Congratulations, Mombasa, on 30 days of sobriety. Keep up the good work.

Those urges you are talking about will slowly begin to fade as you learn to control yourself and not give in to the temptation to act out. Withdrawal symptoms are a part of recovery. Learning to identify them and deal with them are a part of recovery. Stay positive and when you start to feel the urge do something healthy (i.e. post on your journal, go for a walk, or anything that you can do that is positive for you).

You have made it over 30 days. You are on the right track.

_________________
Sobriety date: November 6, 2011
In all you do, remember the end of your life and then you will never sin. Sirach 7:36

Love and time can heal just about anything.

Failure is not an option.

Hi Ineedhelp and CSC,

I'm getting more and more vulnerable to views of pretty women , girls. It can be on the streets or in shops , everywhere. Last I saw an amazing looking girl in a shop and I had her look in my memory for 2 days. Yesterday I found myself gaping at a pretty woman in a crowd and hardly could stop it. So, CSC, it's not the matter of watching softcore or hot movies - The simply view of attractive women, girls everywhere is influencing me strongly. This is going to be my crucial second month. The chemicals in my body are going more and more ape. I thought few times of acting out shortly. Especially in the mornings.
But I'm still fighting. Two days ago i was at a religious congregation of the church movement which I'm a member of. The preaching priest said - there are two main reasons of addictions . Firstly the lies inside of each man and secondly the fear resulting from the lies.The two can heal Jesus.
I found in myself lots of inner lies and fears and they destroy my life. I must believe in Jesus the liberator from those lies and fears and I must do what the Bible says (He says).I'm feeling the crucial fight for new life is comming soon.
Day 37

_________________

Hi Mombasa,
Men go through periods of high libido or sex drive. It can come up all of a sudden or it can creep up on you after long periods of abstinence from sex. It is not my business to know why but if you are abstaining from sex with your wife you need to have a plan. You need to come up with a plan that works for you. You must know when the urge is coming on and then have an immediate plan of action.
Things that work for me:
1. A picture of me and my wife during happier times that I always have with me on my cell phone. Whenever I see another attractive girl I simply pull out my cell phone and contemplate on the picture or in my case several pictures.
2. Switch off the computer or go to a Christian website.
3. Read the bible.
4. Exercise and/or do chores.
5. Ask wife for sex.
6. Think about wife and masturbate with thoughts of your wife instead of other women.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.