I can give you my perspective on this as well. My fiance found out about everything I was doing about a year and a half ago. She deciding to stand by me through everything. You can read my journal or posts, and she's also posted here (her name is TheFlyingPickle) for more insight if you want, but needless to say there have been some huge struggles since we started working through everything. We got engaged almost 2 months ago and although there were some pretty horrific times, I know 100% that we are closer and have a stronger bond because we stood together through everything. We feel like a team. When little issues come up, we handle them pretty effortlessly because we both know we've tackled mountains to get where we are.
My advice is to first have open communication with your partner. If your partner acknowledges that he has a problem and you believe he is willing to work on things, then my advice to you is to try to work through them with him. I think the process will help you with your own issues as well... I think the more your partner works on recovery, the closer and more open you will find your relationship will be, and I think that will help you in your own recovery more than you can imagine. Put simply, as your partner becomes more and more healthy, he will be able to be more and more supportive in your recovery, in a sort of symbiotic way. Having my fiance as my primary support has been literally invaluable to the utmost extent of the word.
Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."