Feed the Right Wolf

Hi Shadow, congrats on making it a few days. I've been on this site a full year and my record without a slip is 11 days, which happened about a month ago. The first several months I just caved and caved and figured I was hopeless, that this website just didn't work for me.

But I stuck with it and kept thinking positive, started exercising and developing healthy habits, started calling friends more often, started going back to church and praying, and I am improved since then. Some people just go 30 days right off the bat and never look back, and while I am happy for those people, I know that it doesn't work that way for all of us. So don't worry about not reaching a milestone right now, just be consistent and enjoy every day (or even every hour) you spend doing something other than looking at porn. If you just keep doing good things for yourselves, and stay positive you will see progress.

Day 8. Today I felt a bit empty inside and thought about masturbation, but it didn't last long. I can say that my time of abstinence was quite positive sofar and I also did some useful activities to spend time effectively - I read more often, watched a couple of films (very good films ), meditated, worked out...

I believe I can break my personal "abstinence record" (something around two months) - I don't know what will happen to me in next days, I don't know how tough will the fight be but I CAN do it.
Thanks for your support guys.

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There is no failure, just feedback and learning process.

I relapsed again. This morning right after I woke up I had a feeling that I masturbated but I didn't remember. But it made me very restless and I finlally relapsed.
I'll start again tomorrow.

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There is no failure, just feedback and learning process.

I'm back. There were many relapses between my last record and this but I learned from it. I continue doing some healthy activities to keep myself from porn and try to spend my time effectively. It's something about two weeks since I started with an part-time job - I usually wake up around 4:30 AM, start working at 7 AM and end between 2-3 PM, so staying up late at night and masturbating doesn't seem like a good idea.

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There is no failure, just feedback and learning process.

Day 3 after my last relapse. A few days ago I tried to make a change in the counting of my "sober days" - instead of starting on Day 1 and then counting I set myself a week-long period and started counting the remaining days. Let's see if it will work.

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There is no failure, just feedback and learning process.

A week without masturbation, I'm proud of myself. I started to feel stronger and happier. It will be a long way but there is still a reason to fight for.

_________________
There is no failure, just feedback and learning process.

Hi Shadow,

Great job on a week! keep coming back and keep moving forward.

Your friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

I relapsed again. But my sober days are still increasing, today I relapsed after 12 days.

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There is no failure, just feedback and learning process.

So, after my previous relapses and experiences I decided to start a 3-day "test period" before going on longer periods (weeks or so). Now it's day 3 and it seems OK so far. Besides those activities I did before (reading, exercising, spiritual life) I also started to use this thing https://chains.cc - when you decide to create yourself a goal and accomplish it day-to-day, it will do something like a "chain" from your accomplished days.

See you all later, guys.

_________________
There is no failure, just feedback and learning process.

Hello again.

Second day after the last reset date, everything is OK so far. This day was a bit about "anger management" - it seemed that I haven't luck since the morning - but I managed it without releasing the steam with porn or else. I also try to find inner peace so I returned to my meditation practice, it's quite helpful.
Controlling my sleep habits is also important for I realized that when I'm tired and not relaxed enough I relapse very often in these situations - although I tell to myself "just one more hour awake", I'm so tired after a while that I finally slip.

I'm going for a week without fap, I hope I'll succeed.

_________________
There is no failure, just feedback and learning process.