Feed the Right Wolf

Hello Forum,
My Name is John. I am new to this forum. I am 16 & I am a pornography addict.

Let me give you a little insight into my addiction.

- I have been masturbating nearly on a daily basis for the past 2-3 years.
- I hate my addiction & I am trying really hard to stop it.
- I have never sought help for my addiction until now.
- I have never told my parents about my addiction.

It was not until two weeks ago when I thought about stopping my addiction.
When I stumbled across this site, I was amazed at the availability of resources available to help myself and others overcome pornography addiction.
I have been using this site for around two weeks now.
I was able to stop watching pornography for around four days but on the fifth day I reverted back to pornography.

Pornography is taking over my social life & I am spending hours daily watching it; this is one of the main reasons why I want to overcome my pornography addiction.

I have read the Free Recovery Course, done the ERP, made a sexual recovery plan, etc, but none of them seem to work for me, I am still viewing pornography.



If anyone could help me in anyway to overcome my addiction e.g Providing tips, resources, videos, books, articles, or anything that can assist me in anyway that would be absolutely AMAZING!!



Thanks for reading everyone, I wish you the best of luck on your journey to overcome pornography!
Sincerely John.

Hello John
You have now realized that you need help so that is a start.
Right now I can suggest the following:
1. Remove all internet access, if you cannot do that, then install k9 web filter or net nanny. You need some time to clear the mind. If the temptation is gone then you can start working on recovery easier.
2. I would say that speaking to your parents now would be a good idea.
3. Take recovery seriously. You can read all the material/articles and so on, but it would mean nothing unless you truly apply it.
4. Review all your reasons for wanting to stop porn, then review what will happen if you don't stop watching porn.
5. Don't give up. If you watched porn everyday for a few years and you manage to not view porn for a week, that is progress.
6. I have to repeat point 1. This will help kick off your recovery. Trust me!
Peter

Welcome, John.

Peter's suggestions are great, and I want to reinforce how helpful it is to tell someone about your problem, especially at a young age. Having support from your family is important.
The videos on Your Brain on Porn are helpful too.
The most important thing you can do at this point is really think about your life and make a decision to stop hurting yourself and others.
There is no cure for addiction. Working on recovery does not mean you'll automatically stop compulsive sexual behavior. You spent a few years in active addiction, so it's going to take time. Keep coming back and posting; when you help yourself, you are helping us all, and vice versa.

Your friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

Thank you Peter & Absolution for your help & support!

I have installed k9 Web Filter, It is working great!

What do you guys recommend is the best way to tell my parents about my addiction?
I really wan't to tell them but I don't have the courage to.

John.

Hi John,
These guys have some very good advice. I would just add what has been very helpful for me is to establish a daily routien. When I do well I have a routien I do every day that helps me stay sober. For me it changes frequently according to my needs, but some of the things included in it are, study the scripture (if you are a spiritually minded person,) ERP, post on this website/read about recovery, write in my personal journal- this is separate from my recovery journal on this site, it records the events of my life, the important accomplishments and things I have learned) exersise, and prayer. Not all of theese things are included in my daily routien, only 2 or 3 per day according to my needs. Right now I make sure I do ERP at least 2-3 times per day and do scripture study and prayer at the end of every day, with writing in the recovery journal and reading the Fourm being an every few days thig. Having that structure helps me make sure I do what needs to be done each day. I simply don't go to bed without getting it done.
Also be patient with yourself. Daily use to 4 days clean, you did 4 times better than you had been on your first try! Try to take joy and gain confidence from each success rather than wallow in the disappointment of the failure. Also, absolution made a good point in that you spent years developing this habit, it is going to take some heavy effort and some time to reprogram your mind. I would suggest doing a little reading on classical conditioning. I expect the wiki entry on it will be enough to give you a solid understanding of what it is and how it works. It is Basicly the operational process we follow to become addicted, and it is the process we are bringing to bear in our favor with ERP.
As for your parents, I will tell you I have not discussed it with mine in any detail. I told my dad I had a problem with it and what i was doing to try to resolve it. I said I was doing the best I knew how, and while I appreciated his concirn I didn't want to discuss it. So he never brings it up and neither do I. I have found it to be a great comfort to have someone to talk to, and have enlisted a very close, trusted friend from time to time to act as my AA type sponsor. I just felt more comfortable discussing this kind of problem with my friends than with my parents. They are my parents and I go to them with other problems I run into, but not this one. Now that being said I also want to say that my dad was very loving and supportive during our one conversation and briefly mentioning it once after that. I know he cares for me and would be happy to help me in any way he could,and he did by password protecting the Internet, I know he wants to help. I know most parents love there kids and want to help them as much as they can, so I would suggest that they are avalible as a potential very powerful recourse for you to use. In the end I wish you the best of luck with everything. I think how I did it is not the best way, but it's what I did, with positive results. My parents and I had a good relationship. But there may be a better way I have not tapped into yet. Good luck.

Hi 
I applause your efforts to change your unwanted behaviours at such a young age, I'm 46 yrs old and wonder what might of been if I had acted far earlier. The past is past, this is now and I choose to change for the good of it.. At first we think to our selves this behaviour is not hurting any one.. Little did we know, but pornography causes real brain damage and ultimately we become virtual drug addicts.. The good news is that this unwanted sexual behaviour can be unlearned, it involves reprogramming your addiction circuitry with in your brain. This is done by developing healthy habits, life styles and behaviours.. This takes daily practice, one must face the old mental models and replace them with new health mental models. You will have set backs, these are learning opportunities to grow and learn.. It took 4 or 5 years to learn this habit and it will take about a year to reprogram.. Good luck.

A TIP.... 

Load up your iPod with as many of Mark Kastleman's Podcasts from this CANDEO itunes site, they are free and very insight full.. Harmless too. Play them as often as possible. No matter how often your've heard one you always learn a new perspective again and again and again.

My name is Daymo, I'm from Australia, I'm a student from CANDEO online recovery course. 

iTunes
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cand ... d292879530

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MINDFULNESS