Feed the Right Wolf

Don't give up now cojerc! You've come to far now! You are too close to that month milestone! I'm very sad to hear about your job but very pleased to see that you didn't slip. Stay strong friend!

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Cojerc,

I am proud of you.

You have shown amazing resolve in your posts on this forum so far. I've seen you always willing to help others as you get help. I have no doubt that you have helped many, many people.

I am sorry about the situation you're in right now. Please take some solace in the fact that there are better things ahead of you if you keep to the choice you've made to be a better person. I promise you there are better things ahead.

Rely on your higher power and trust that there are things ahead of you that are even better than what you would choose for yourself.

Again I am proud of you. Keep your head held high for what you've been through, and continue to go through. I am here for you if I am needed.

With love,
Your good friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

Hi beingclean,

Thanks a lot for your concern, Yes one month milestone is near. I am looking forward towards it.


Hi Absolution,

Thanks a ton for saying these words "I am here for you if I am needed", your words are so encouraging and so supportive for me, at the time i needed them most.

What you said is correct, better things are on the way. I know why i am in this state of my life. Once i am gradually out of this addiction, i believe that things will turn around for me.

Things are not at all ok at home. Communications with my family has hurt me harder when i am already in a miserable state. With mixed emotions i shouted at them in extreme anger.

Then came to my room and i cried to god, told him enough for the sufferings, i cannot take it anymore. I don't know why i cried, but it did make me feel a lot better. Somehow despite all these emotions suitable for a trigger, my mind did not drag me. I am happy things are changing i guess.

I had put a lot of faith in higher power. I believe strongly that this suffering is sure for something big gift god is going to give me. I even consider higher power guided me to this forum. Thank you friend for your enormous support.

19 days free...

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Last day PMO - 08/05

Hey Cojerc, (tough to spell ur Id-name.. Lol)


Sorry to hear about everything you're suffering from. It seems like we both are going through quite similar situation. It's just you're on a leave from your job to prepare for your exam and I am simply studying my LIFE's last(hopefully) and THE MOST important exam. I kind of know your situation. This P addiction wasn't a problem as far as I was having my regular classes and lectures going along and was hanging out with my friends on a regular basis. It became a sickness when I got free from everythin and got all alone just for my preparation. It was then when I started having this uncontrollable urge and cravings to watch P for hours and kill hell lot of time. I am not saying I didn't had this P/M problem before. I know this p/m is a long case for me. But it got under control since last year when I joined gyming and was doing productive work in my spare time.

My problem became worse from October'11 as I got freed from my classes and was all ready to give my 24hrs in self study to prepare for my exams which are going to be in May this year. Whenever I used to sit for studying before, my mind used to start thinking about the chicks I used to flirt and all the history that happened before in my life getting rewinded along with lots of fantasies and I used to end up watching P for long long hours and ruin my life and kill hell lot of time. Today is 2march already. Only 59days are left for my exams and I have 100days of course material yet to study. In October starting I had 100days of spare time to revise again after finishing my whole syllabus. But due to this P addiction I am in a deep shit now.

Most of the people here who are addicted to this sin are generally them who have lots of free time after their respective works and that spare time leads our empty unproductive brain to watch P for pleasure n stuff and we end up being like this.

Well enough being said, I think we both know the value of our time we have in our hand for our preparation and we should use it accordingly to our priority. I read alot of stuff online over how to keep your concentration alive while studying as we both know it's when we're studying our mind wanders alot and triggers us. Hope you're doing great with your recovery and studies. Good luck with your preparations. I know if we both use our time wisely with hard work and dedication then we both can outshine in our upcoming respective examinations. Be good and fight harder.!!



Fellow soldier,
Flit.

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If yu're in a hot air balloon, yu hv to burn some fuel every now & then to keep the air heated & stay high in the air. If yu wait until the balloon gets dangerously low, yu hv to burn a ton of fuel to gt bck up to whr yu need to be. - Absolution

cojerc, you are doing well You are active on your journal and you are making good progress.
Keep it up man
Peter

Ha ha, all for anonymity Flit..



Hello Fellow soldier you are right we are in the same battalion. I agree with every word of you. Since i was working i used only weekends for PM, most of the days will be very tired of work so not at all much in the weekdays. When i had the whole 24 hours it took me under control.

I too wasted a lot of time. And because of that i am in a very miserable state of my life.

What makes me feel better is - though i lost my job, though i lost a lot of valuable time in my life, if i am recovered from this addiction then that is going to help me over my entire life time. So i am going to benefit a lot throughout my life. This thought makes me feel better and i compromise what i had lost so far. If i had not known about this addiction and had not started recovery i would have lost even more things in my life. So i am happy for that.



I agree 100%. Certainly true. Well comrade let's fight this addiction and get our exams cleared with utmost dedication.

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Last day PMO - 08/05

Thanks Peter,

I was on travel for the past few days, so could not have internet access.

Days are quite fine. Moved to another city. Hope things will change.

23 days free... Completed 3 Weeks

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Last day PMO - 08/05

Great job on 3 weeks! Keep journaling and stay strong. Another week and you'll be to a month! Keep praying.

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When fear knocks, let faith answer the door. -Joel Osteen.

Modesty is sexy.

Last time I self-harmed: 5/13/13
Last time I masturbated: 5/13/13
Last time I watched porn: 5/13/13

Hey Cojerc,

Hope yu're doing good with your preparations and recovery. Good to see you this much motivated and positive. Wish you good sober days. Prepare hard and smart.



Flit.

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If yu're in a hot air balloon, yu hv to burn some fuel every now & then to keep the air heated & stay high in the air. If yu wait until the balloon gets dangerously low, yu hv to burn a ton of fuel to gt bck up to whr yu need to be. - Absolution

Hi, Cojerc. I am glad you are progressing well. It is very heartening to see you not letting stressful situations get to you. That is a big step in overcoming your addiction.

I am proud of you. Keep up the good work.

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Sobriety date: November 6, 2011
In all you do, remember the end of your life and then you will never sin. Sirach 7:36

Love and time can heal just about anything.

Failure is not an option.