I can say I know what you are going through and I'm very sorry. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years now and I'll just say I have seen and heard my fair share of broken promises and lies. He has put our marriage, family, career, and other leadership positions completely on the line to view porn. But through it all he has gradually been making progress. The longest he's gone lately is almost a year, so we are getting up there and I'm very proud of him. Here are some things that have helped us the most:
1- Get yourselves educated about porn addiction. You will learn that it is not something that guys can "Just Quit" no matter how much or even how bad they want to. It is a true addiction that physically changes there brains, like drugs and alcohol addicts. It is a compulsive behavior and they are literally trapped in its grasps.
2- If your husband is at all serious about quitting he needs to admit to his addiction and get on a recovery plan. They NEED help to get out of this trap. I don't know one addict or have even read about one that has gotten out of this without help. Counseling has really helped my husband a lot.
3- Your husband has got to set boundaries for himself and he needs to tell you what his boundaries are so you can hold him accountable. Down grade his phone, put a filter on the computer, we use netnanny, or k9 is good too. Keep the computer out in the open (and it STAYES there at all times.) My husband has a computer at work, so to avoid messing up at work he has chosen to make a list of all the websites he needs to use while there and he cant get on any other sight without me knowing about it because of netnanny. My husband wont even go into a movie store unless I'm with him or even walk by the magazines at the store. Your husband needs to be brutally honest with himself and really make a game plan with you so he can avoid even the possibility of getting tempted to look at porn. This is hard for them to do because its humiliating to admit to so many weaknesses, but at the same time it makes them so much more aware of there surroundings and what to stay away from.
4-Porn addicts are some of the most deceiving liars. My husband has really struggled with honesty because its so much easier to act like nothing has happened then to take responsibility for actions. He knows that when he tells me when he is struggling, even with his thoughts, that it stops the temptation from growing. Just the fact that he tells someone when he starts to struggle helps him shake himself free. And when he doesn't tell me or someone else that he is struggling he falls into a pit of "mess ups" and nothing will get him out except starting to be honest about it again. Believe me I have seen it sooooo many times.
5- Try to be understanding. This was so hard for me because for the longest time I wanted my husband to "just stop". But now after learning the hard way I know he cant "just stop". My expectations and trust in his promises would always get broken. But now we are focusing on honesty rather than never messing up again. You have to be willing to except the fact that he will mess up again, and its going to hurt your feelings, but if you can be the type of wife that he can come to in his time of need and temptations, you will help him sooo much. Then gradually he will start to go longer and longer without messing up until he is above it. Try to understand that because he is an addict it will take time to recover depending on how willing and how much he wants to kick this thing in the butt. If you can be understanding enough so that he feels like he can be truly honest with you, he will not only get out of this mess, but you guys will have such a strong relationship! Trials like these will ether brake you or make you as a couple. Fight this thing together. Life is to short to have this always lingering in your relationship.
6- Pray for strength. I have felt so alone so many times and the one thing that always brought me comfort and piece of mind was praying. I know that I have a Heavenly Father that knows who I am and loves me, and when I felt like I couldn't make it another day with feeling so hurt and betrayed I would pour my heart out in prayer. I know I have received an added measure of strength from this and I encourage you to try it.
These are all things that have really helped us make the most progress, but everyone is different so I hope that I have helped you in even some small way. My heart always goes out to other wives who have gone through this. God be with you!
Your friend in the fight,