Feed the Right Wolf

Day 0 - start

Hi,

We come here looking for freedom.
In the past two weeks, the thought that guided me was that I could quickly shake off all my insecurities and suddenly become a happy, peaceful and productive man.

Failing to get these goals enlightens me and I realize that the best I can do, is not to aim to avoid content and instead make plans to be productive and do tasks important to me.
Productive is not an adjective in that sense, it is a verb sort of speak.
It is not a state of being, it is a process we can undertake.

My goals for today : -

Loading some art assets from a flash file a friend sent me and displaying them using code.
Doing a good job at work.

Smaller tasks : -

Meeting the lady that I might rent an apartment with.
buying wrist bands (sports equipment).

Daily goals : -

Learning Swedish
Drinking vegetable juice
Making a short list of things I'm grateful for.
Shaving

ElbowRoom

Day 0 - end

Hello,

The first two weeks were very hard for me.
Lets hope the next two will be a lot easier.
Even though, I've been struggling, it was a very enlightening and revealing experience.
Here are some of the healthy results:

Decided to sign up for a new gym. Even though my arm is broken, I can still safely work out the rest of my body.
Decided to find a new apartment with roommates to save some money and have more privacy. It will also be close to work.
Decided to talk to my boss and found out he has faith in me and thinks I have potential.

Here are some understandings that came to me during this time:

There is a lot of stuff I want done that I have been neglecting - I realized that if I want a task done, the first thing is to get really excited about doing it and instill belief that I have all the skills needed to do it and learn what I don't know.
It seemed to me that I don't get enough B12 and calcium in my diet so I started drinking goat milk and eating some lean beef to supplement my diet.
Another lesson is that I can be happy with or without a woman in my life.

Things I'm grateful for:

Even though we don't get along, my mom and grandpa love me.
My job is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Even though my arm has a broken bone, I can still use my arm and the rest of my body is in great shape.
The lady that might be my roommate is an awesome person, it was fun meeting her.
Even though I don't have a woman(girlfriend) in my life right now, I had a wonderful girlfriend for a long while.Sure she and I had some problems in and outside the relationship - we had a good time together.
My grades are fantastic.
Started eating beef again and it tastes great!
Have some really amazing friends.
My dogs are awesome.
Thank goodness for my juicer cause vegetable juice is my favorite drink.

Day 1 - Start

Yesterday was a fun day.
Hopefully today will be awesome too.
My wish is to be extremely excited about today and enjoy my time, believing I can make my life wonderful, loosening up and being optimistic about everything.

My goals:

Tiny website app that counts button clicks and saves them to a database.
Load art assets into a casual game app.

Smaller task:

Talk to the lady from the apartment.

Daily goals:

Learning Swedish
Making a short list of things I'm grateful for.

Going to be a busy productive day.

Good luck elbowroom on your pathway to recovery.

_________________
Denial leads to repeated failure

Day 2 - end

Hello,

Another day went by.
It seems life go by pretty quickly.

I'm hoping to move out soon.

Wish me luck.

Recently I've been showing an increased interest in ladies, must be the break up with my this lady I dated for three years.

Time to move on.

Day 3 - start

Today I decided to limit my gaming, web browsing and other Internet activities.
Hope this works out..
Good luck everyone.

Day 3 - end

I figured I want to make a million dollars so I can invest my time in meeting the right woman.
Should probably keep learning some Sweden so I can move out of this country.

Day 4 start -

Yesterday I made a big breakthrough. I was facing an annoying nervous moment where I felt powerless and helpless to act and defend my interest but I suddenly gotten a surge of energy and managed to do what I wanted. It did not prove to be useful yet but I am glad I made the best out of that opportunity. I felt my mind new the right answer and my heart was guiding me in the wrong the direction because of fear, nervousness and an uncomfortable feeling. I told my heart, I'm gonna teach you a lesson and I showed my heart I can be brace and speak for myself, I am proud to be who I am, and I love myself for being able to live freely even if it is just for one day, it is a gift.
Freeing myself of mind numbing content certainly was a catalyst in the process of understanding myself better.
Soon I'll be moving out of here and hopefully to a great apartment with a nice roommate.

Wish me luck.
Goals for the weekend, get some work done on a flash project of mine.

Hi guys,

It is getting kind of difficult, I wasn't able to get any sleep last night.

Day 5 -

It is hard living real life without being assisted by fake images of fun sexual fantasies that are degrading to women but life although it is harder this way, has a lot more to offer.

I hope I have the balls and wits to get a lovely lady to be my girlfriend.

Wish me luck.

My weekly goals are to a gym membership on Monday and start working out. I also want to take some pictures so I can market myself better in those dating sites.

Best of luck to everyone.