Feed the Right Wolf

Strong emotion hopelessness

Strong Negative belief I am in trouble

Isolation not good I was home alone for a while and the urges were annoying

Positive experience if one listens intently around, especially in a park, the beautiful noises heard can be so invigorating

3 things I am grateful for
My mother
My brothers
Peace
Comment 27 since last mo and 19 days since last time watching porn, what a great achievement. Almost three weeks of being free. In the next few days, I need to continue batteling porn. In the next few weeks I need to figure out how to better manage my internal emotions and express them. In the next few months I need to decide my future.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Strong emotion relaxed

Strong Negative belief a peek won't matter

Isolation best decision to go out with the family instead of staying home alone

Positive experience if feels good to be free and have no guilt. Went to gym after a long time of not goimg

3 things I am grateful for
My fitness
Food
My best friend

Comments
I should do some studying tomorrow

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Strong emotion joy

Strong Negative I am safe

Isolation swimming, play in soccer and a bit of studying. Although I spent a bit too much time watching soccer videos

Positive experience I might one day make a difference in this world and liberate people
3 things I am grateful for
My religion
My present
My room

Comments
Today was a bit edgy due to my increased comfort. I need to review goals and ensure I stay on top of things. I did not look at any porn but I need to be careful of unblocked ads on websites and TV shows. When I see people with problems, I appreciate the light load I have to handle in this life. Life without porn is brighter and clearer.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Strong emotion peace

Strong Negative no time for it

Isolation out and about

Positive experience being amongst people is the best way to spend time

Comments made new family friends.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Strong emotion boredom

Strong Negative lust in a few instances

Isolation stayed home but had family in the house

Positive experience I stumbled on a shakira music video and closed it. Also I randomly ended on some topless pics of girls on some Facebook page by accident and quickly closed it. Feels good to have control.

Comments a month passed since my last m/o and I dont feel that I need or want to masturbate. I can live without it and will live without it.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Strong emotion -

Strong Negative belief - uni is a crappy place to be in with this addiction

Isolation was at uni

Positive experience I was relatively good at keeping my gaze away from girls.

Comments the urge for porn and masturbation has decreased while the sexual desires for a partner has rocketed. It is a fair trade i guess. My current attitude that is addiction is my enemy in this war. I cannot give any leeway. I need to gather my resources to take on this challenge and continue replinishing the resources( praying, erp ect..). I need to ensure I win every small battle( eg not staring at a girl in public or closing an unexpected pop up). I need to attack my addiction with every willpower I have and with a clear strategy instead of lying back and waiting for the urges to attack me. The best way to defend is to attack.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Hi Fresh,

My worst enemy since round 20 years has been the addiction. I would have to write a book of minimum 100 pages to describe what I've lost and what haven't happened in my life because of this devilish addiction. Where I live people use to say - Where the devil cannot enter he sends a woman -. That saying meant 100 years ago that many men could be spoilt and destroyed only by an adulterous relationship with a woman.
Today I would replace the woman in the saying with P/M addiction or sexual addiction as a whole.

The best effective method of attacking this addiction is not focusing on it but focusing on prayer ( God presence), His Words ( Holy Scriptures) and the effort to live according to His Words.

Good luck

Good point Mombasa
I am at the moment twenty. I started watching porn when I was 14 out of pure curiosity as we were studying sex in science at school. It was a very new experience and I did not have any information on the affects of porn. my problem slowly escalated until I was seventeen, where I started to become more religious. I kept repeating the same mistakes and falling for the same traps. I would get really annoyed from a slip and go into a binge then I would wake up and start a new challenge. I normally last two weeks and the best I did was 34days and that was when I kept a diary entry.

Then I discovered Alex's video and it was really a desperate attempt when I started posting on this forum. However, it turned out to be the best solution. I find it really inspirational reading other people's recovery and the ups and downs to learn from them. I especially benefited from reading entries from people with families. My motivation has gone to a new height and I feed my motivation everyday via reading and writing journals.

As for your point on using relgion as the best form of attack. I totally agree with. I am a religious man, pray a few times a day and have many friends of religion. I truly love god and has felt his greatness through some inspirational moments. I dont drink alcohol, nor smoke or have sex before marriage. I also volunteer for an organisation that guides and helps youth in our religion.

However, what I discovered is that I cannot completely rely on prayer to get me out of this mess. It will truly help but god has set this test for me(the addiction is the test) to find out if I can succeed in batteling it. I need to utilise every bit of mental capacity in order to succeed in this test. It won't be easy but in the end pleasing god is the best result to aspire for.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Strong emotion boredom

Strong Negative belief I am waisting my holiday time while I have a lot of studying to do

Isolation did not really use the computer and went for a swim

Positive experience today I was in certain situations that I would've gone on to watchporn form but I did not ven feel like doing so today

3 things I am grateful for
My brothers
Holidays
I love my mother

Comments.
Normally a relapse does not occur suddenly. Anyway for me, it takes a certain development. It may begin by watching a movie with nudity or some bikini pictures then develops into lookng at beginning of porn videos a and then into full videos ect. This is a typical pattern that I need to watch for. The earleir I try to stop the pattern the easier it is to stop. At around watching videos stage I go into autopilot so it is very dangerous.

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Denial leads to repeated failure

Strong emotion tired

Strong Negative belief I can watch pics of hot girls without spiraling out of control

Isolation did not use the comp

Positive experience won the football game

3 things I am grateful for
family injury
free game
weekend

Comments. Well I went onto a Facebook page for bodybuilding and they had pics of hot girls on here. My heart racedand I panicked. I did the erp calmed my self own and closed he page without further problems.

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Denial leads to repeated failure