Feed the Right Wolf

Hi Beingclean,

Great advice from CSC... I hope you can come back and post more often, as time after time I've seen addicts (including myself, unfortunately) slowly drift from recovery into relapse. Some never come back to the forum or to recovery, and I'm glad you did. This site and forum and our fellow addicts are a Godsend; take advantage of them. Keep moving forward!

Your friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

My last week has been similar to yours. It is so frustrating.
I know from my experience breaking other addictions that it's a process and staying honest about it will ultimately pay off. Which is why I came back after not posting for a week and a half.



That is so true.

Really good point, one decision can change the whole day. I made a bad one last night and it set a bad precedent for today. Many times over the last month this has been true. Like one time when I took one little peek at a porn site and it caused me to binge on porn for 3 hours in the morning: I was late for a class, missed breakfast/washing up etc., felt terrible all day, and damaged by recovery. Other times, however, I made a decision to call someone and tell them I was thinking of acting out--I felt great the rest of the day and got lots of work done.

Also good advice on being honest. I used to avoid the forums when I relapsed so I wouldn't have a "record" of it, and I would just resume posting once I had been sober a few days. Bad idea, this does nothing to help. Be honest, admit when you have messed up loud and clear. If you hide it it will eventually come back around.

Keep posting,

James

Well I'm back again and thank you all for your great responses. I will try in the future to post more frequently, I have always had a goal to post everyday, so hopefully I will.

CSC: Thank you so much for your post as it was as Absolution said very good advice and it gave me the extra boost I needed.

Absolution: I hope not to be one of those who leave and never come back. Besides I see what happens when I stay away to long.

Nate: I guess we can both agree that the last 2 weeks kinda sucked. Honesty with one's self is always the best policy ( especially when it comes to porn).

James: It's like you read my mind, trying to get a good couple of days in is exactly why I didn't post and you're right it is a bad idea.

Again thank you all for your posts and support as I'm sure it will help me going further. It is good to remember that good decisions should give good results. Anyway it is now the end of day 2!

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Day 3, not much happened today in terms of triggers or urges, but I've gotten alot of homework done in the past few days, so at least I've accomplished something!

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Day 4, and it is pretty much the same as yesterday. I'm trying to keep bad thoughts as far from my mind as possible. Hooray for no urges!

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Wow! That was quick! I am now at one week clean. I feel good right now and my mind isn't bothered either. Fantasies have not been getting any firm purchase in my head and I love it!

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Hi Beingclean,

Great job making it to a week! Stay busy and keep working a strong program.

Your friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

@Absolution: Will do!

Day 12, I have started to get bad thoughts again, but they didn't last too long. But yesterday I was watching a show when a naked lady was on-screen but no private parts were shown (as my usual weakness, checking for nudity proved). Luckily, I was not stimulated nor have I been dwelling on it which means it won't come back to haunt me since it hasn't been seared into my head. I do need better control over my curiosity because for me it almost always leads back to porn.

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Day 14, I'm finally back at 2 weeks! I've been really struggling to put many days together since March. Hopefully this time I can beat my forum best of 34 and personal best of about 2 months. I'm sick and tired of having this addiction!

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