I tell you there is nothing more beautiful than a couple enjoying each others company and growing old together.
Making love is supposed to cement the relationship not 'defile' it.
My wife and I sometimes get up a bit earlier to make time for it, or we first have some fun then go out for the night.
I do small things for her, like send a message to tell her I love her, or make her some coffee in bed with her favorite biscuit.
Flowers now and then, hold her hand, hold her tightly before falling asleep. I tell her she is beautiful, hot and sexy.
You know, love, kindness and to be considerate towards your mate will always be rewarded.
Then you also have true expressions of intimacy.
My wife is a wonderful human being. She is not my slave, she is more than worthy to be treated like a, hmmmm queen.
I am not going to follow the course of other men that think sex is the answer to life, that sex is everything, that women are objects.
That cycle that came from my father and fathers father ends with me. I will not be like those men.
I always think about what people would say at my funeral. Would my wife say, "What a wonderful caring husband", or would she say, "Why did it take so long" lol. Do I want good friends around speaking well of me, or women spitting on my grave.
You can fix your relationship with your wife. Its not beyond repair.
Try some acts of kindness and focus less on the sex. You will see that she will 'want' to have some fun with you
Hi Peter...I feel the same way as you do about your wife. She is the most important person in the world to me. Since I started addressing this addiction, I have been trying to step up my appreciation for her in recognizing all the little things that she does to make me feel special. I've been purchasing flowers for no reason, trying to do things I use to expect to be done, asking her out on dates and so on. I can't believe I let myself get to that point where I was so ignorant about my thoughts and actions.
I have started to read 'You are not your brain'. It is hitting home and I can't wait to get to the time where I understand all 4 steps and am able to exercise the practices. You have suggested a couple of other books I will read once I've gotten through this one. Maybe it would be a good idea to start a sticky thread in the general forum called something like 'additional reading' that lists books people such as yourself would recommend?