I think this can be a good approach, using your own judgement if your relationship is at a place where this is possible and deserved. It's a very hard fine line to walk, knowing when and how to trust while simultaneously not downplaying your own feelings, intuition or smarts. Good luck and just remember to take care of yourself and that your feelings, intuitions, clarity and beliefs are equally important as your partners.
Also, don't be too bothered by responses that offend you. There are many people here that are not only on your side but understand where you are coming from. There are also people who do not have the same knowledge, insight or simply the same experience that may not understand. This does not invalidate you. The internet is full of disconnects and miscommunication.
Good luck and feel free to post at any time