Feed the Right Wolf

Thanks mate, that's what its all about, supporting each other and breaking this addiction with each others help. Were all in this together

Day 4 completed successfully. Had a long day at work, a few hours of overtime so that kept me busy. I had a few small cravings today, but luckily none in the past few hours when I've been home alone. I've spent some time researching the benefits of abstaining vs. the consequences of looking at porn&masturbating. Keeps me motivated because there's so many positives to make me want to abstain and so many negatives of porn that make me want to quit.

We are fighting the good fight, keep it up everyone

_________________
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sober since: 19th May, 2013

Day 5. Thankfully I can say I remain sober today. However I had a close call. I was exposed at work to pornography, and that sowed the seed for some bad cravings when I got home from work. But I survived. I need to focus on my goal of becoming a better man, for God, for my future wife, and children. I think my body and mind are trying to adjust back to normal after months on bingeing. It takes what, 21 days to form a habit? So in theory if I change my lifestyle it will take 21 days, or 3 weeks for my new, good habits to take hold. Sounds good in theory anyway

Stay strong everyone!

_________________
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sober since: 19th May, 2013

Day 6 & 7 complete!

I didn't have time to post yesterday, but I stayed sober.

Today was tough. Friday nights always are for me. I used to relax after a week at work and act out, to release stress, but really it just caused me more. I had some bad cravings tonight and still am having some but Im still sober. Reading resources really helps me keep motivated. Spending less time on the internet also helps, I have less tempting situations, which means I can focus more on the times I am tempted.

One week sober

_________________
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sober since: 19th May, 2013

Hi Aaron,
Good job on one week. Unfortunately, an addiction is much more than just a habit. I had an uncle and aunt who both died of lung cancer. They were cigarette addicts.My aunt smoked until it killed her. She knew it was killing her but she could not help herself. SUCH IS THE DIFFICULTY WITH AN ADDICTION. My uncle eventually stopped but it was TOO LATE.My Dad is an alcoholic. He stopped only after reaching ROCK BOTTOM. An addict don't just lose their habit. You develop ways of not doing the addiction and this becomes a habit. Once an addict you can never do the substance again or you are in trouble. Exposure means more trouble so you need a plan of action if exposed. What becomes easier is that you learn what to do and you do it. Sort of like a Karate person learns how to automatically block a blow. Develop such reactions and keep them with you at all times and never let your guard down. I have been fighting this addiction for years and only now got the hang of it. Better luck to you. Keep strong.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

Thanks dpac. Unfortunately I slipped yesterday, on day 8. I went to bed with cravings, woke up with them, and basically I was too weak to resist. On the bright side I went 1 week sober, and when I acted out it was only for 15 minutes on softcore porn. But still no excuses a slip is a slip.

I will keep moving forward and fighting, because there's nothing worse than giving up. This addiction is selfish, not only that but we are supporting an industry that involves abuse, rape, slavery etc. when we watch porn. Even if we don't go on pay sites by clicking on "free sites" we support them because they get paid for advertisement. The porn industry is all about the money. Its always about the money. In fact money is the root of most evils, alcohol, prostitution, greed, etc. etc. Now I'm getting way off topic, but the point I'm trying to make is we are supporting a terrible industry when we look at porn. That's anther one to add to the long list of reasons to quit.

Anyway, day 1 complete successfully. Can't recall any cravings today, day 1 is usually fairly easy. I need to work on re wiring my brain. Porn has damaged it badly. I always find my eyes drifting to females chests when I'm in public. Its terrible, how porn makes our brain view females as objects of sex rather than the beautiful humans they are.

Stay strong everyone.

_________________
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sober since: 19th May, 2013

Hi Aaron,
I totally understand what you mean about the cravings. You have got to develop a reaction to them that includes switching off the computer. Every time we slip it becomes so much easier to slip. Do you have any squeaky clean DVD's? Look at them especially when you are craving. The cravings always go away after a while. For me it is after a half hour. While looking at the DVD you can be praying or thinking of other things you can do to keep the cravings away. Others do ERP in order to know what what our body feels like when it is craving and to be calm and do something constructive about it.
Don't let your mind go into automatic because you know what it would automatically do.
I hope this helps.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

Thanks for your support Dpac. I realize I need to find something to stop the cravings. Willpower doesn't work, even though I think im invincible and can do anything, when the cravings get strong enough willpower will give in, everyone has a breaking point. ERP is good, I tried it but never really got into it though. Thanks for your idea about watching a Dvd, sounds like a good idea. Currently I'm getting into a recovery course on curethecraving.com. This guy really know what hes talking about. Instead of just countering the cravings he goes to the root of the problems and helps you reduce them, while also giving you tools to counter cravings when you get them.

I strongly advise anyone who is serious about fighting this to take a look at http://curethecraving.com

Day 3 complete sucsesfully.

_________________
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sober since: 19th May, 2013

Hi Aaron,
Glad you found something that may work. i basically used anger management strategies to deal with my cravings. It has a lot to do with knowing your body and mind and gaining control of it before it controls you. I guess if I ever get back into my habit I would check this website out. Strange enough that now I am out of the habit I am feeling more ashamed now rather than being proud that I kicked the habit. Maybe it is because I haven't been able to see as clearly as I am now. I used to think that looking at porn was normal. But now I feel bad about it.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.

Thanks again for your support Dpac. I'm glad you've found what works for you and that you are a free man now

I don't think anger management techniques would work for me, I'm addicted chemically, and I'm guessing anger management techniques are more focused on emotions. I'm focusing on a long term recovery, based on reducing my triggers such as stress, loneliness, tiredness, etc. And also replacing the release I rely on from porn with a good release that gives me a feeling that will satisfy my cravings, and leave me feeling good afterwards.

I've been too focused on counting the days, and putting distance between myself and porn, trying to get one week sober, then 2 weeks, then a month etc. I'm looking for a long term solution that will fix me. The periods of sobriety will come, but as a result of my changed lifestyle, not as forced periods of sobriety using methods of trying to stop cravings when they come. I find this a temporary fix to the problem and it always leads to me slipping and then starting the cycle again. In my veiw it's like going to the doctor because you've got headaches, and asking for drugs to take the pain away, to mask it, rather than actually fix the headache.

I'm certainly not bashing the methods of countering cravings as they come, they work for some people, and that's great, but they haven't been working for me. Maybe I don't try hard enough, but I always find In the moment of temptation I lose all control. I have got myself addicted to the chemical release of masturbating to porn, as a release from the issues in my life. I need to confront these issues head on, fix them, then I will be able to break my addiction.

_________________
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Sober since: 19th May, 2013

Hi Aaron,
Working on your issues is good, but this addiction is a selfish one. Makes you focus oneself. Try when you get the urges to focus on something other than yourself and the urge. If you focus on something else for a while it goes away. Even if you just focus on the suffering of the girls who get into industry in the first place. Focus on Jesus. Focus on your best friend, or enemy(who is Satan). But stop focusing on your self when the urge comes. I hope this helps.

_________________
I will cease being a slave to my past.