Feed the Right Wolf

You might benefit from something called the Three Circles; you can read about it here: http://saa-recovery.org/SAALiterature/English/ThreeCircles/

Your friend,
Absolution.

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Sobriety Date: October 25, 2011
"Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it."
-Rabindranath Tagore

Hey climber, how are you? You haven't posted in a while. I hope things are alright. Whether they are or not it'd be nice to hear from you.

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Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Thanks Absolution for the article about the three circles! It opened my eyes even further and I'm going to make my own diagram of three circles. I'll show it to you.

In terms of my struggle with addiction it is very well so far. Today is day 10. Last week was pretty easy because I was on a trip abroad almost the whole time without an internet. Now it will be time of travelling for me so I hope I'll be deeply engaged in it so it could help me to stay away from P & M. I will let you know about my progress.

AloneICannotStand, I am a lot stronger when I feel your support. Thanks!!!

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"staying away from that stuff is worth the hassle and frustration of fighting back... always..."

subpad

Glad to hear Climber! Keep it up ;D

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Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Here comes 2 weeks of sobriety - the hardest time for me. Today I started looking for some porn on the internet. I even clicked one movie to download but then I canceled it quickly and took a few deep breaths.

Then I realised that my brain is trying to deceive me telling me that I'm not looking for porn (which is ugly and harmful) but for movies where people make love. My brain made me think that I only search for the most beautiful women and perfect scenery which is totally correct. Not for explicit, dirty pornography.

We can't allow our brain which is hungry for porn to take controll of our conscious mind.
Porn is porn and it is very harmful in any form!

_________________
"staying away from that stuff is worth the hassle and frustration of fighting back... always..."

subpad

On your battle your inner mind will constantly try to lie to you and trick you. Always remember that you can't trust it! You KNOW what is right. Porn is porn no matter what form it takes. So the rule of thumb is, don't watch ANY kind of porn no matter how "innocent" it may seem.

Good luck Climber and keep up the amazing work!

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Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

23rd day of no porn. The vacation time I spend with my girlfriend helped the most. In a few days I'm going on another trip to play music with my friends. The key thing is I don't take my laptop with me...

What also helps is coregasm. It'a an orgasm I have thanks to physical exercises which involve using my core muscles. f.ex. hanging on some kind of stick or outside on a branch and lifting legs.
It is important I have no sexual thoughts while doing it and afterwards I don't feel guilty and alienated.
It's a way of getting rid of a tension.

What do you think about it? Is it ok to have a coregasm while healing from porn addiction???

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"staying away from that stuff is worth the hassle and frustration of fighting back... always..."

subpad

That is so interesting. I've heard about that once before. I have absolutely no idea how that even works. I'm looking up information about it, but I'm terrified i'm going to accidentally get some kind of trigger. Well it seems legit. O_o Wow, like, what would that even be like... As far as I see though, only women get those.

Anyway, to actually answer your question - hahaha - you need to ask yourself. Does the behavior feel healthy to you. Remember, sex/porn addiction is very subjective. What one person may feel is healthy sexual behavior, another might find repulsive. Do you think your exercise-induced orgasm will disrupt your recovery? Do you think there is a chance it will make you act out more in other ways? Can you limit yourself to just that? I can't tell you what you should do with your body, only you can truly decided if you think a certain behavior is ok or not. Does your exercising in that way cause a trigger, or desire for you to go view porn? Or can you contain yourself? Just ask yourself these questions, and decide.

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Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Day 25. I realised another thing by which our brain tries to deceive us.

Today I thought - It's going so well that no trigger can jeopardise my sobriety and while I was on computer with no filter I turn on some porn. After a minute or something I closed it down. Then it came to my mind that even looking on "porn-star" face is dangerous and it can quickly bring us to day 0.

Talking about my coregasms... I have mixed feelings about them. In one hand they release my tension without sexual triggers and afterwards I don't have depression thoughts like after masturbation. But in the other hand maybe I accustom my organism to have orgasms more often and also my need for "porn" (or sexual activities in general) is more frequent.
What I'm sure of is that it certainly doesn't trigger me directly to watch porn afterwards or before.

What do you think?

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"staying away from that stuff is worth the hassle and frustration of fighting back... always..."

subpad

Identifying triggers is a critical part of your recovery. Knowing what they are and addressing them when they occur or even before will help you in your success. My thought is, orgasms are natural part of life. Everyone has them. The problem is when a person becomes reliant or obessed on them to the point at which other things are neglected or occupy the majority of your time. If this doesn't happen with the coregasm...it can't be a bad thing.

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Start date 3/29
Reset date 5/16
New start date 9/12
05290803

Those things that bind us are the most difficult to unravel