Feed the Right Wolf

Forward by CSC:

I have been so touched recently by the impact that this addiction is having in the
lives of so many wives and partners. I was largely insulated from it all,
but seeing the damage of fractured relationships is heartbreaking for me.

To get a taste of the unanswerable question "why?" followed by the
inevitable "Is it my fault?" The promises, the lies, the broken promises, the admissions
and the accusation. Suspicions and doubts. Lost trust.

To those of you who love addicted partners, you have a hard row to hoe.

I dedicate my 60 Day Celebration Poem to those women who in some ways
have less to go on and a harder job than the addict but who also hold more vital keys
to the solution than they might realise.

****** CSC's 60 Day Celebration Poem ************

To the broken hearted woman who cannot fathom a man's mind;
Though she sees depraved behaviour and no sense of it can find.
Although many answers missing, nothing yet can be resolved.
Of this horrible addiction and how it has evolved.

Tears of hopeless rejection, flow down seldom kissed red cheeks;
While hands that should hold a lover, softly tremble as she speaks;
Eyes that should behold beauty, are fixed on clouds too dark;
There's no excuse. There is no good. It all looks, so very stark.

Powerless is she, as she tries to understand;
Why has she been so hurt? Why to misery is she damned?
No fault or blame can she attach, to explain this tragic strife.
As anger, rage blend with fear and tears, a loving heart holds on for grim life.

To the broken hearted woman who cannot fathom a man's mind;
Even though he knows it not, you're his only hopeful sign.
He's so lucky you are near him, he's blessed beyond belief!
To the broken hearted woman, I pray your hearts relief.

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Kind regards, CSC

"I wished for nothing beyond her smile, and to walk with her thus, hand in hand, along a sun-warmed, flower-bordered path. (Andre Gide)"

Been a NEW MAN since: April 16, 2012

Thank you so much CSC.

That poem was so the truth and well worded and beautiful.

I love poetry and you have quite a talent:)

This is one thing that makes me so sad as well. All of you men have so many things to offer the world and other people. You sell yourselves short. Imagine what you could do and who you could help and how much of an impact you could make on the world if you stopped putting all of your energy into hurting yourselves and those closest to you. You are all better than that. Your wives and girlfriends fell in love with you for a reason, they saw a glimpse of the true man under all of the lies, deceipt, blame, rejection, they love you, the real you. Do not let this take over your life and the lives of those you love. You can stop and you should want to even if not for yourselves right now but for all of the women you supposedly love. You are slowly killing them, everything that you love and loved about them is dying. Not only are you losing your love together and life together but you are destroying them as an individual. You have no idea what it is like to second guess yourself, not trust yourself, doubt yourself, despise yourself, and put yourself last to keep someone that does not give a crap about you happy. And yes it is not giving a crap, it is so selfish. You watch your signifigant other dying inside and you lie to her face, you still watch other women (men, trannies, lesbians, orgies whatever) and please yourself with you own hand and deny her. What are you denying her? Her own sexuality, love, respect, trust, support, committment, honour, pretty much a happy complete life. Her life is not complete without you and you are not there, you are nowhere to be found. She chose you for a reason, she loves you more than herself, more than anything else. Do you understand that? Do you understand what that means? The sad thing is that I don't think you even think about that, you don't ever think of her first. I know this is a very hard struggle for you but you must realize that it is just as hard of a struggle for her. You can work together to fix things, your lives, your relationship but you have to show up and be present. The worst thing for me is not the porn, I would have gladly watched it with my husband, yes I like porn too however, I do not have a problem with it. I can take it or leave it but would have participated with him for sure and it can add to things but I know I will never be able to enjoy that with him now. The worst is the lying, deceipt and rejection, its not the porn. I would love for all of the men to just stop and look at their lives and who they have become. Do you want to leave your mark on the world as a selfish jerk who never wanted to touch a live human being, the love of your life? Do you want to be a hermit who hides out alone with fake sex, fake women and fake love? I don't think you do so get help, talk to your wife, talk to a friend, do something!!!! Don't just sit there and think you can't do it, you can do it. You have the strength within you to do it if you really try. I love my husband more than anything and I love him as much now as the first time I ever saw him but if he does not do this for himself, for me and for us I will be leaving very soon. I cannot let this problem and his lack of dedication to me wreck my life. The sad thing about it and what hurts so much is that either way I lose. I either walk away and lose the love of my life, the father of my children and the man I was supposed to grow old with or I stay and end up a shell of a person and more broken than I am.

Thank you very much for your poem, it made me cry:) You captured some of the partners grief and feelings and hurt so well.

Cappy

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Good sex begins when your clothes are still on. --William Masters & Virginia Johnson

Cappy

Thank you for posting this.

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Matt
Last acting out: Jul 9 2012, Aug 20 2012, Sep 26 2012, Sep 30 2012, Dec 7 2012