I wish my husband was on here and you could talk to him and give him a bit of a reality check. I fear that our marriage is headed where yours went. My husband is 36 and we have been together for twenty years, since high school. Your story sounds very similar to ours and I also had an affair but it was a long time ago but for the same reason as your wife, I was 20 or 21 at the time. My husband started off like you with magazines and pictures and then came the Internet. The only difference was I caught my husband, I also feel like your wife did fat, ugly, undesirable and worthless. I always knew something was wrong but didn't know what, I asked and was lied to for twent years until I found one website on our computer may 7th of this year, he had been deleting the history since he started using the Internet, that is a long time. I am here to support my husband and have been since I found out and have been taking great measures to heal myself from this trauma, the hurt is unbelievable. My husband however is another story, I don't think he fully realizes what he did or was doing, I don't think he understands the damage caused and I don't think he believes that I will ever leave. He seems to think I should trust him even though he lied to me and deceived me for twenty years and still has not stopped. He is not taking recovery or the work that needs to be done seriously and is not making it a priority and I really don't think he believes that I will ever leave because when I tell him my boundaries he ignores them and does whatever he wants and steps all over them.
I told him last night that we are seperating, I've had enough. Problem is we have two kids and
Neither one of us are able to financially move out. I told him that I will not sleep with him, have sex
With him, kiss or hug him or vice versa until he can prove his sincerity to recovery. He needs go show me that he wants a better life with me and for himself, I need proof by his actions not just words because his words mean nothing. We are living like room mates until I can see effort and the lying and shutting me out of his life stopping. I am not sure how this will work as
We are still in the same house but it will have to do for now
I really wish he would wake up as I find myself drifting further away from him and like my love is waning after all of this and nothing changing after me finding out and it was devastating and still is when I think about it. So sad and I hope he looks at what is going on and does something before its too late. We have no intimacy and he won't talk to me, I am alone and it has been like this our whole 13 year marriage and even years before that, I just didn't know what was going on
I am sorry about your wife but to be honest I can relate to her so much. It is very hard to love you with porn and intimacy/emotional problems and immaturity.
Thank you for posting here as it made me feel like not as much as a loser wife and someone else has been in my shows exactly.
You can do this and you can change your life for the better, be strong!!!
Good sex begins when your clothes are still on. --William Masters & Virginia Johnson