Free Recovery Course

Welcome to the recovery course. You may find it to be too much information to get through in one day. You have a few options available to help you revisit this course at a later time.

Option 1: Bookmark this site and come back to it at a later time

Option 2: Donate any amount and get a PDF version of the course

Option 3: Join our forum and download a PDF version of the course from there

Option 4: Sign up for the free delivery of the recovery course via email. One article per day.


Please note

Educating yourself is very important, but it is the actions that you take that will set you free. If you are ready to change your life I recommend the following 3 action steps:

  1. Read through every article in the recovery course below. You might also find it helpful to journal about your progress on our forum.
  2. Sign up for accountability software. I recommend Covenant Eyes at $10 a month, but if you can’t afford it at this time, K9 filter could work for you.
  3. Sign up for a group or one-one one sessions with one of our coaches.

    Call (916)259-3827 To Learn More

    If you can’t afford this investment, substitute it with attending Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings either in person or over the phone. (12 step program is not perfect, but it does provide a much needed live support environment.)

And here are the articles:

Understanding Porn Addiction

  1. 5 Brain Chemicals in Healthy Sexual Act and How it is Different from Pornography Addiction
  2. Pornography Addiction Cycle
  3. How the Human Brain Works
  4. Triggers of the Reptilian Brain
  5. The Emotional Brain

Practical Steps to Break Porn Addiction

  1. Simple Practices to Get Your Brain Back
  2. Creating Your Sexual Recovery Plan
  3. The Best Thing You Can Do Today For Your Sexual Recovery
  4. How to use ERP Properly to Change Your Emotional Brain for Good
  5. A-B-C-D-E Model that is Guaranteed to Change Your Life

Creating the Big Picture Vision

  1. An Important Strategy to Help You Break Free
  2. 7 Beliefs That Kept Me Trapped
  3. How to Handle Triggers or Mini – ERP
  4. What Does a Trigger Tell Us?
  5. What Do You Want from Life? A Very Important Exercise

Relapse Prevention

  1. My Relapse, and What I Learned From It – Part1
  2. My Relapse, and What I Learned From It – Part 2
  3. What is Wrong with 12 Steps Groups, What is Right with 12 Steps Groups
  4. 12 Steps Meetings – What Are They Like?
  5. God’s Will for You, or Awaken Your Stronger Self
  6. Filtering Software – A Tough But Important Decision
  7. The Emptiness Inside of Me, and How to Fill It Up
  8. Thank You for Your Time! Course Summary Inside

Get PDF Version of The Recovery Course for Free when you join our forum

Call (916)259-3827 For Professional Help

P.S. Recommended Resources:

  • Sex Addicts Anonymous
    I cannot imagine my recovery without this program.
  • Mindful Habit Course by Coach Craig
    Great advice from a great person.
  • Free Podcast and Mini Course from Candeo Can
    I owe my first 90 days of continuous sobriety to this program and highly recommend it.
  • Internet Accountability Software
    Using this software allowed me to get truly honest with my internet usage for the first time in my life. For some reason knowing that my every step was being observed and reported on, made it really easy to use internet only in a healthy way.
  • Treating Pornography Addiction by Kevin B. Skinner Ph.D.
    I have read over 15 books on Pornography and Sexual addiction and this truly is one of the best books on the subject. The reason is I recommend this particular book is because it is full of excellent actionable steps. Other books do a good job describing the problem, but don’t really offer a realistic solution.
  • Your Sexually Addicted Spouse – How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Barbara Steffens Ph.D.
    I know that about half of visitors to our site are spouses of people who might be suffering with pornography and sex addiction. To the best of my knowledge this book is one of the most helpful books for the partners.
  • Free Consultation from Coach Craig
    Coach Craig has been a good friend and supporter of this site since January 2013. He has worked with people from all over the world, including famous musicians and other high profile individuals. Yet, he is only a phone call away and would be glad to give you a free consultation. Call him anytime, with any question you might have, and I am know he will be extremely happy to help in any way he can.

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Comments

  1. Ann says

    How can I get my new husband to understand that the porn daily is an addiction? He says that even if it is, all men watch porn all the time and since I am a woman, I cannot understand a man’s mind.

    Since I am a smoker and he stopped yrs before meeting me, he told me to stop smoking and he would stop watching porn. He says it is the same thing!

    However, we are married now for half a year and have only know each other for a bit over 1 1/2 yrs. When we first started getting sexual he couldn’t get a hard on, or if he got one it would get soft as soon as he entered me.

    We are both in our 40′s. While I have always had sex partners, he spent all of his life alone, watching porn and jacking of. Only when we went abroad for 2 weeks and porn was not available was he able to perform sexually.

    When we got back home after that trip, we were able to have sex quite regularly. He still watched porn, but at least had stopped with the live chat sex sites, which I feel are much more personal and offensive to me. Within the few months or last month he began with the chat sites again and the last three times we tried to have sex, again, it fell, and he was not able to keep it hard.

    There are no new stresses and so I told him that it was the porn, which only started a huge fight. “All men watch porn…blah, blah, blah!” He asked me for how long he should not watch porn to show he is not addicted..one week, one month, never again?

    I don’t know what to do, since he doesn’t see porn as a problem and will not accept the idea that the porn is ruining our sex life. He says that without porn he will never be able to have sex, that he NEEDS it, in order to be able to even be with me, since those girls mean variety, which he says all men need.

    I am lost and confused and hoping there is some advice out there for me.

    Anyone?

    • Man says

      Um, hi I’m a guy who watches porn twice a day and I’m here to say: When you cum twice a day you can barely hold it up to pee the next. But if I wait a week then masturbate I can get rock hard and probably go ful blast pump for an hour! try having him wait a week then have sex. Another thing is beauty,variety, and excitment. find out his fetishes, Dress up in sexy clothes ( pink panties,Kneehigh stockings, High heels and a very small revealing dress does it for me) Also doll yourself up and do your hair like he likes it, shave your bikini area ;D Role and foreplay are great to “Mr.herald? How do I get that A?” or blow and boobjob. And if those ideas don’t work try watching it with him or get him to masturbate to you. BTW guys don’t need porn or variety Beyond trying different things or positions so he’s Bullshitting you.

  2. Anonymous says

    Thanks alex, this has really helped me and gave me hope for a better future. God bless on the rest of your journey. :]

  3. michael says

    I understand it all. In fact, at present, i have quite a number of sexual problems that i struggle with and one of them is porn but i sincerely want to break free from it so as to become all that God has planned for my life and i know, without a doubt, that God’ll grant me all d help i need to do so. I also struggle with masturbation and same sex attraction and i believe that in this site, i’ll find useful information to be applied to other areas of my sexual struggles. God bless you Alex not only for your honesty but also for your acceptance of personal responsibility towards dealing decisively with your sexual problems and as a matter of fact, i must say that in the final analysis of the whole issue, neither the identification nor dissatisfaction with our problems resolve but the preceeding as well as the acceptance of personal responsibility.

  4. Anonymous says

    I just joined this site and came up with somthing here – I am kind of a small addict with porn. Female and a teen. The reason I feel it is some what of a harm to me is because, I feel people can be addicted to porn and when they are. Their sexual wantings go away. Real porn addicts barely have sex or try to get into a relationship because porn dosn’t teach them at all how to get in one. Guys, most young guys are not so addicted to porn so they have the ability to watch porn and then go for real girls or whatever. As for me being kind of, addicted at my young age ever snice I was younger and courious to have a look at it. I feel maybe I will never have a relationship which is somthing I oh so want so badly and I can’t because my love right now is to porn. But face it porn isn’t the real thing. We all know that. But we all know, we can’t help it. I sure know I can’t. And if you wanna know why I want a relationship so badly. Its because I’m gay. I’ve never met another gay teen girl face to face before. But I know one. And shes goregous. I can’t ever have her or I mean be with her. Because of this stupid addiction. And I’m not saying porn is bad. I’m just saying somtimes it really grabs onto certain people. People who cannot taim themselves. And practicaly ruins their life, somtimes ruins their life. Forever… Unless you try to stop it. How can people saying no or stop really stop an addiction. Its like telling an alcoholic that they better not drink another drop of booze. Will they though? No, they won’t. I say I’m going to stop every time I look at it. Which is about, once a day, Every day. And I would love to stop. But somtimes I don’t because I love it. Then I hate it. But I dont want it. I dont think its hurting others at all. Because its not. At least thats what I know. People know about this of me. They don’t seem to say anything really. I don’t pay at all becuase I don’t need to. Don’t need You know what I mean? Now I hope this help I just googled with help me out. Because I’ve always been good. Always and I always am but when I watch porn I feel very ashamed and chilled. I dont know why but I feel chilled. The feeling of doing wrong.

    • abe3 says

      I do not know what it is like being gay but I do know what it is like being a teenager and wanting girls. I agree with what you said ” Their sexual wantings go away. Real porn addicts barely have sex or try to get into a relationship because porn dosn’t teach them at all how to get in one.” I believe too that the porn can take away your sex drive and leave you in only a fantasy land.

      You probably realize that you have met many other lesbians but you don’t know who they are. It must be tough. The Kinsey and his staff reported that 28% of women had been aroused by another female, and 19% had a sexual contact with another female.Of women who had sexual contact with another female, half to two-thirds of them had orgasmed. So there are plenty around.

      But if you had your strongest sex drive (from quitting porn), you would try harder to approach someone and ultimately find love. Good Luck!

    • Anonymous says

      Maybe start focusing on something else and not getting your girl and you can maybe get of of porn and maybe even like the opposite sex you may not feel that way now but you never know what’s going to happen in the future

  5. random person says

    I came across this website on a google search and it has helped me see that I’m not the only one who is upset with my mans actions. Its a very hurtful addiction. I confronted him and he tells me he feels bad but also mentioned it will be hard to quit. Atleast he was honest. So we made a pact… I quit smoking and he quits porn. I really hope he can pull thru with this. I’m in the same boat with all the other women… my relationship depends on him quitting. I’m going to mention this site to him and I hope I mean as much to him as he says and takes the course into consideration. Thank you for posting this site. And to all of your comments. It has given me a new light to a seemingly dark tunnel.

  6. heartbroken wife says

    I found out about the porn and confronted my husband who plied me with such a lame excuse for it. He promised he wouldn’t look again. I can’t get the hurt and anger and jealousy out of me. He’s the onw who has done wrong and Im the one suffering and I’m.loosing my mind and already lost my self esteem. Be won’t go counselling with me to help me. Am wondering if there hope for us

    • Kay JonesKay Jones says

      There are some great resources here for coping with your spouse’s addiction; I’m going through the same process myself, so maybe a few of my articles will give you a place to start. Moving forward, please remember that you cannot control his behavior; only he can decide to take responsibility for his actions, seek help for his addiction, and seek to help you with your recovery. You can ask and encourage, but the best thing you can do right now is take care of yourself- please, don’t make the mistake I made; seek counseling on your own whether he agrees to go with you or not. You deserve help and healing, and maybe he’ll follow your example.

    • GPF says

      #1. This first one may not help, but porn photos are “phot-shopped” every ounce of fat and double chin has been removed.
      Allow me to boost your esteem, you are an awesome wife to want to help your husband, in spite of the heart break.
      #2. If he is caught again, he needs an intervention like maybe a trial separation. Porn is lonely business, it affects work, as well as relationship disaster. He needs to come to a place where he realises his life has become un-manageable.
      #3 Porn robs one of their mind, you should not be losing yours.
      #4 Go to a counselor alone to get assistance, preferably if you are of a certain faith seek out a women psych who has the same world view as you. You must not bear this alone.
      #5 Don’t blame yourself or let him blame you, he is the one with the problem.

    • Heather says

      I know the feeling…I have been dealing with my husbands porn and gambling addiction for 8 years. It has been a constant cycle of me finding the porn, me begging him to get help for is addiction, he says yes but never does and he stop for a couple months then the cycle starts all over again. I filed for divorce about 3 weeks ago and he still doesnt get whats going on. The denial is unbareable, he’s loosing his wife and kids and still doesnt see that its the problem. I have been thing about printing out the sex addiction therapist in our area along with all the group meetings and throwing it on the table if he still says its not a problem I guess I have tried everything. I wish you all the luck, porn addiction is so devistating to a family.

  7. Anku says

    You are wonderful Alex. Getting over your addiction is one thing, but putting everything you have to help others is a great act of empathy and I salute you for that.

    Today, I start reading this course and for the first time in years, I have felt that I am doing the right thing on the internet !! hehe,,really !!

    Thank You so very much, Thank You Alex!

    God Bless!

    : )

  8. Anonymous says

    Great work. The good news is that a site like this is a work in progress. Every year it will be better and better. The life experience of real people with real recovery offers hope and help. Inspiring community spirit you are helping to create. Recovery and a happy life reminds me of the saying from that old Kevin Costner baseball movie, “A Field of Dreams”: “If you build it, they will come”.

  9. Anonymous says

    Alex,

    Thank you so much for putting all this information together. Before visiting this website I thought I was sitting alone in a dark room with no ray of hope and since I have started reading the free recovery course I already feel I am going towards the path.

    I appreciate all your help and support. I pray to god to bless you with lots of happiness and may you reach out to all those in need of a ray of hope.

    • Alexadmin says

      Thank you. I used to think I was alone too, but we are not. I am glad you found this site. It’s not magic bullet, but I think it will point you towards the right direction? Have you considered signing up for our forum? It is yet another way to get out of isolation.

  10. Anonymous says

    i've been married for 2 1/2 years and i've been recently horrified to realise that my husband has been a sex addict for all of that time, even longer probably. we have so much in common, the same belief systems, that emotional & intellectual connection everyone longs for in a relationship – but our sex life has always been blah. i thought it was because we were stressed, overweight, lazy etc. and thought that since we had everything else in place that sex would get better naturally.

    over the past 30+ months of marriage we've had sex a total of 10 times, and most of these encounters i believe have been 'pity f@$ks' (please pardon my language). i've tried to talk to him about it in so many different ways, lovingly, angrily, sadly, threateningly, and each time he promises to change, to try harder, to quit cold turkey and never look back, but would go right back to it, sometimes even a couple of hours after our emotional discussions. he even told me once that the reason he's off sex is because i've put on 10lbs since our wedding and have small breasts which he doesn't find attractive in a woman (and he's about 30lbs overweight – not that i care, but the double standard kills me).

    once i even threatened to smash our laptop if i found that he had visited porn sites (a big deal for us as we use the laptop for almost everything and right now can't afford to get a new one), and he found a way around it, by looking up random facebook photos of random 'hot chicks' – and then claiming it's not the same as looking up porn! i was/am so crushed that this wonderful seemingly loving man that i've married and pledged my life to in front of God and our families, could try and deceive me and himself so blatantly.

    last week he was sitting next to me looking through his camera, and i actually saw him zoom into a picture of his cousin sister's breasts. his cousin sister!!! that was really the straw that broke the camel's back, i was so heartsick i could've died. i waited until we were alone and calmly confronted him about it, and to my surprise he cried and admitted that he had a problem, that he sometimes feels like an addict who steals from his parents to feed his habit, that he feels that the devil has tempted him and he has repeatedly given in and moved far away from God. it felt like a breakthrough for us that he could admit that much, and i am hoping and praying it is the start of his (and our) road to recovery. i'm sad to say that he's broken my trust so many times that a part of me is afraid to believe his words, and even now i'm bracing myself for him to falter again.

    i believe in God, and that my husband and i are meant to be together, that we're supposed to be there for each other through thick and thin, but going through this over the past couple of years i have felt so broken and been so tempted to throw in the towel on our relationship.

    i'm sorry i've ranted, i just want to share a wife's perspective, and thank you Alex for all the material you've put on this site, i will pray for a full recovery for you and everyone who needs it.

  11. Anonymous says

    I will certainly read all of your articles. I am so glad that I have found your help, as other websites on the Internet have left me in despair. I think this is such a common addiction and there is such little help for it. I apologise for not being able to donate, but I am a teenager with out the ability to do so. Keep up the good work, you are helping a lot of people.

    Thank you so much Alex.

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